Author Topic: Gummy bears  (Read 3360 times)

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Offline Amarok

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Gummy bears
« on: January 26, 2014, 07:21:54 am »
Funniest thing ive seen in a long time

A review on sugar free gummy bears:


By Christine E. Torok on October 3, 2012

Oh man...words cannot express what happened to me after eating these. The Gummi Bear "Cleanse". If you are someone that can tolerate the sugar substitute, enjoy. If you are like the dozens of people that tried my order, RUN!

First of all, for taste I would rate these a 5. So good. Soft, true-to-taste fruit flavors like the sugar variety...I was a happy camper.

BUT (or should I say BUTT), not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke loose. I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I've ever imagined. Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare. I've had food poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me.

Then came the, uh, flatulence. Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to Hell...the stench, like 1,000 rotten corpses vomited. I couldn't stand to stay in one room for fear of succumbing to my own odors.

But wait; there's more. What came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming. It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste. 100% liquid. Flammable liquid. NAPALM. It was actually a bit humorous (for a nanosecond)as it was just beyond anything I could imagine possible.

AND IT WENT ON FOR HOURS.

I felt violated when it was over, which I think might have been sometime in the early morning of the next day. There was stuff coming out of me that I ate at my wedding in 2005.

I had FIVE POUNDS of these innocent-looking delicious-tasting HELLBEARS so I told a friend about what happened to me, thinking it HAD to be some type of sensitivity I had to the sugar substitute, and in spite of my warnings and graphic descriptions, she decided to take her chances and take them off my hands.

Silly woman. All of the same for her, and a phone call from her while on the toilet (because you kinda end up living in the bathroom for a spell) telling me she really wished she would have listened. I think she was crying.

Her sister was skeptical and suspected that we were exaggerating. She took them to work, since there was still 99% of a 5 pound bag left. She works for a construction company, where there are builders, roofers, house painters, landscapers, etc. Lots of people who generally have limited access to toilets on a given day. I can't imagine where all of those poor men (and women) pooped that day. I keep envisioning men on roofs, crossing their legs and trying to decide if they can make it down the ladder, or if they should just jump.

If you order these, best of luck to you. And please, don't post a video review during the aftershocks.

http://www.amazon.com/Haribo-Gummy-Candy-Sugarless-5-Pound/dp/B000EVQWKC/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1390736070&sr=8-1&keywords=sugarless+haribo
« Last Edit: January 26, 2014, 07:24:19 am by Amarok »

Offline Keitsu

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Re: Gummy bears
« Reply #1 on: January 26, 2014, 03:47:00 pm »
lol?

Offline Magna

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Re: Gummy bears
« Reply #2 on: January 26, 2014, 03:54:16 pm »
You can pour sprite and gummy bears into a popsicle mold for fantastic gummy bear and sprite popsicles!

Just a tip for those freaks out there like me that enjoy frozen gummies.

Offline Keitsu

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Re: Gummy bears
« Reply #3 on: January 26, 2014, 04:49:01 pm »
You can pour sprite and gummy bears into a popsicle mold for fantastic gummy bear and sprite popsicles!

Just a tip for those freaks out there like me that enjoy frozen gummies.
Drown the gummi bears in Ice cream :)

Offline Magna

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Re: Gummy bears
« Reply #4 on: January 26, 2014, 05:02:50 pm »
Drown the gummi bears in Ice cream :)

That too!

Offline GrayWolf448

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Re: Gummy bears
« Reply #5 on: January 26, 2014, 11:55:56 pm »
i am going to stay away from sugar free gummy bears now......

and frozen gummy bears are great ^^ and in ice cream ^^

Offline Jacoby Quinn

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Re: Gummy bears
« Reply #6 on: January 27, 2014, 07:41:11 am »
how many neon pink and black rabbits does it take to screw up a lightbulb factory?

Offline Iara Warriorfeather

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Re: Gummy bears
« Reply #7 on: January 29, 2014, 08:45:39 am »
Chocolate covered cinnamon gummy bears are the best.

Also, avoiding sugar free gummy bears like the plague now, thanks.  :P
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Offline Aloneness

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Re: Gummy bears
« Reply #8 on: January 29, 2014, 02:36:25 pm »
I'm surprised PETA hasn't tried to campaign against gummy bears seeing as all the things people do with them ... (IE: bite all there arms and legs off before eating them, etc.) Yet they attack Pokemon for teaching animal abuse and brutality to animals.
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Offline Amarok

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Re: Gummy bears
« Reply #9 on: January 30, 2014, 04:35:59 am »
I'm surprised PETA hasn't tried to campaign against gummy bears seeing as all the things people do with them ... (IE: bite all there arms and legs off before eating them, etc.) Yet they attack Pokemon for teaching animal abuse and brutality to animals.

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Offline Fuyurin

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Re: Gummy bears
« Reply #10 on: February 01, 2014, 03:36:19 pm »
Infusing gummy bears in vodka can make for an interesting party. :D

Not that I'd condone doing that unless you're of legal age to consume, of course.

Offline Kobuk

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Re: Gummy bears
« Reply #11 on: February 01, 2014, 06:10:12 pm »
Infusing gummy bears in vodka can make for an interesting party. :D

Not that I'd condone doing that unless you're of legal age to consume, of course.

Careful there. ;)

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Offline Shiru_Da_Koon

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Re: Gummy bears
« Reply #12 on: March 07, 2015, 10:02:50 am »
Best recipe I got for yah is a gummy bear sized to 12' infused with a liquid center detained for only those of age of course. Ranging from a mixture of daquiri with absolute, and a few cans of mountain dew to the well known Tennessee honey, and those swabbys a barrel full of malibuo with a pint of pineapple juice and a kicking shot of 151. Then again as a soldier we make the craziest little drinks right? :p (note: Consumption of alcohol under the legal age is not only against state law but also punishable by federal law, whether you're of age in another country and working with a "federal group or association residing from the United States of America, it is still against the law.)
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Offline Loc

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Re: Gummy bears
« Reply #13 on: March 07, 2015, 01:09:48 pm »
Locked due to gravedigging.

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