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This is cross-posted from my deviantART because I thought you guys might be interested to hear about it. ^^

I've had a very enlightening day today.

Frustrating and unproductive yes, but enlightening.

You may or may not know that I am a Furry, but that isn't the point right now.

The point is that I am a dragon, too.

No. Not "too".

FIRST.

I am a dragon FIRST.

Now now, I am very aware of the fact that I am a human, and I have an appropriate amount of loathing for it.

That does not, however, make my situation any easier. If fact, it FRUSTRATES me immensely.

Today, my feelings of Draconity have been re-affirmed and even strengthened.

I am a dragon.

Oh Gawd, you have no idea how good it feels to say that.

Although yes, this is another step in my re-Awakening, I once again feel isolated.
Not alone, per say, because I am aware that other dragons exist in this world, and yeah, even in my country/state/city. The isolation comes from not being able to speak/communicate with them. Everyone wants someone who knows what they're talking about, right? Someone that understands what you're going through WITHOUT EXPLANATION, just knows.

Anyway. I know a lot of you won't understand this journal, but I wanted to make a record of this happening once again. I have no set record of my previous Awakening, so I have to go off of memories. And seeing as this was here...I thought it was a good place to jot down my thoughts atm.

I was on Furtopia earlier today, and I found a link to The Draconity FAQ and Draconity.com. After applying to the forum at Draconity I re-visited several of my remembered Dragon websites including Baxil's "Tomorrowlands" and the Draconity Purity test. I retook the test and ended up with a score of 82% dragon, and a rating of Dragon minus the scales.
Then I went to Otherkin.net, a place I had heard of and I think I'd visted briefly before. I browsed the site for a while, checked out some neat articles, and did a geographic search, learning of a dragon that lives in Davis. I checked out her LiveJournal, and through that found several draconic LJ Communities. I myself do not have a LiveJournal, but I checked a couple of them out.
Oh, man. It was Once_Winged that got me. I just kinda stared and had the: "They're...they're like me..." moment all over again. And not for the first time today, even.

SO I suppose this would be a Re-Awakening. It's...interesting. Several times today I've read something, seen something that hits me so profoundly I felt like I could cry. Not...not in a bad way. In an understanding way I think I could describe it.

It's definitely been an interesting day.

Oh, and my phantom limbs are returning en force right now.

My face is not my face, I can feel a longer muzzle and my sight has changed a tad. I can feel horns on my head, along with the flicking ears that I think could be a holdover from my cougar-dragon self-image, I'm not quite sure yet. Oh yeah and there's definitely fangs. And human tongues are...short. XD I got a bit confused.
My tail is long, but not ridiculously so. It's in proportion for a dragon, if an anthro one. My hands are pretty normal, and with my longer nails (I'm trying to stop biting them and let them grow out a bit. ^^; ) if feels as if I could have claws. Mah feet! They be paws! Well, kind of. Without looking at them I have trouble telling how many toes I have on each foot. o.0 Logic says five, but my mind says three...or four. not quite sure. XD
The strongest part though is the wings. From by my shoulderblades to my lower back it hurts, aches, and itches intensely where the bones and membranes would attach. I want to stretch them really bad, but I would knock into stuff, and I know that hurts really bad. >< I can move them a bit, its been a while since I've put time into feeling and controlling my phantoms though, so it's kind of difficult. (As is making draconic noises that aren't made to come from human mouths. XD)
The wing phantoms at times become so strong that it is really uncomfortable to wear anything that covers my back. They also come with the urge to fly. I know, a lot of people wish they could fly, right? That's true, I know. The thing is, there's a little bit of a catch to mine. Dragons are built to fly, that's why we have enormous wings. So NOT flying is frustrating, and I feel like I'm totally stranded on the ground because I can't. But stretching them out does feel nice. |3

Okay, I bet I've weirded a lot of you out. Whatev. I don't really mind all too much, after all, I'm still me, this is another part of me. Accept me for who I am, or don't be my friend. That said, I love you all, and thanks for reading!

~Kyo.

'>

Congratulations, welcome to the club!

I honestly don't understand the otherkin thing too well, but boy am I familiar with that moment that comes when you finally discover other people like yourself. And I'll celebrate anything that makes you that happy. '>

I know exactly how you feel with the whole phantom limb thing.
My shoulder's don't ache, but they feel really heavy and uncomfortable, but I can't walk around with my top off  

I only just discovered that I have a connection to Dragonity. I did the dragon 'test' and got 70%, Dragon minus the scales, so I'm pretty certain I am one. I always noticed that raw meat looks so tasty before the humans go and ruin it with their rediculous 'cooking'.

Wow, I'd have to say you're lucky. I'm just a boring old human (seriously) but I'd love to be something else... Even if just temporarily. But, I guess I just don't have it in me.

Congradulations! *hugs* I feel happy for you.

Can anyone send me the link to the Draconity Purity quiz? I'd like to see it. '>

Thanks for all your kind words and thoughts, guys! It really brightens my day. '>

Since I've had a couple different people ask me about it, here's a like the the Draconity Purity Test. Now don't worry if your score is a bit low, it fluctuates a bit, and if you look closely, the test is a little bit biased. XD

Heh...I am not-human in the same way that you are not-human, so no worries.  :3  I just don't generally discuss it unless I know it's going to be acceptable, and I didn't know how it'd go over on this particular forum.  (by the by, if you *do* still need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me, or look me up on dA under the name - surprise - Ormspryde)

I've never felt human. Never.

I'm still in that pre-awakening kind of stage right now, if you have any suggestions that'll be helpful.

I could be a Dragon/Fox/Wolf/etc. Don't know.

(Or I could be a large mechanical insect bend on galactic domin...wait. YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT.)

Yoy have my sympathy, i could probably never know how your feeling right now. The closest i have ever got to my fursona is a couple of tripping over my tail and making unusual noises. It seems like your getting the real deal. '>


Man it must be had to want to fly, but unable to, you have my deepest regards.  '>

I did the dragonity test and i cam out with %78, i never saw that comin

[Quote]

Quote (ShadowKitsune @ Nov. 29 2007, 6:22 am)

I'm still in that pre-awakening kind of stage right now, if you have any suggestions that'll be helpful.

Trust your instinct. ^^

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(Or I could be a large mechanical insect bend on galactic domin...wait. YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT.)

See what? '>

Quote

Yoy have my sympathy, i could probably never know how your feeling right now.

Thanks, but don't feel sorry for me! I'm coming back to myself, and it makes me happy. ^^ Yeah it's hard at times, but its worth it. '>