Author Topic: An extract  (Read 508 times)

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Offline Quirk

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An extract
« on: September 05, 2015, 01:06:27 pm »
I like writing - here's a bit of a story I'm crafting.  (: Constructive critisism is encouraged, and, well, is this worth continuing? (P.s., they're feral, not anthro.)

"... And the he-wolf bellowed across the snow-strewn valley, snarl and growl full of deadly intent, challenging the war-hardened fighters amassed before him and his remaining rebel troops: "We will listen to lies no longer! For we have gazed into the Heart of the Sun, and then, and only then, was when we truly saw. There are no gods! We shall never, never, send our pups off to slaughter to appease the supposed wrath of your so-called gods again!" His tail was held high; his eyes were slitted against the wind that so prevailed at such altitudes.
He raised a howl, expressing within it his grief at the loss of his cubs, innocent victims in a war that they could never understand; and he sounded his longing to fight, to claw and tear and bite and rend those responsible for all the death and cruelty they had caused. The scores of wolves behind him also took up the cry, an eerie death-chant, clawing at the ground in their eagerness for justice.
He heard the howls stop, as one.
Then so faded the echoes.
And, wistful gaze fixed ahead, the rebel leader ran forwards, his rusted armour glinting in the sunlight, and an army at his back."
« Last Edit: September 05, 2015, 01:08:49 pm by Quirk »

Offline Bronx

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Re: An extract
« Reply #1 on: September 06, 2015, 01:41:26 am »
That was really epic! I liked your choice of words and how you painted a picture with the descriptions.

I'd love to read more :D
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Offline Quirk

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Re: An extract
« Reply #2 on: September 06, 2015, 03:04:24 am »
Thankyou for your comment, it is greatly appreciated.  :) I'll be writing more, definitely, and I'll post the results on here. This isn't the sort of project I'd be planning to publish or anything, but if people want to read it, I'll gladly put it on Furtopia.  (:

Offline Old Rabbit

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Re: An extract
« Reply #3 on: September 06, 2015, 09:59:08 am »
That was really epic! I liked your choice of words and how you painted a picture with the descriptions.

I'd love to read more :D

I have to  agree. You paint a good picture, and the story wastes no time in grabbing the
readers interest, and emotions.

Keep up the good work. :orbunny:



« Last Edit: September 06, 2015, 10:01:15 am by Old Rabbit »
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Offline Quirk

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Re: An extract
« Reply #4 on: September 06, 2015, 11:06:02 am »
Thanks, Old Rabbit; I'll do my very best.  :) I'm exceedingly happy right now, as my little extract has done exactly what I intended it to do - capture the interest/emotions of readers.  :D