Author Topic: Paws's short story challenge  (Read 14637 times)

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Offline Old Rabbit

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #50 on: September 05, 2012, 09:50:40 am »
More good writing. I know it's hard to stop when your
in the groove so to speak..

This story would make a nice novel and is worth keeping
for the future. :orbunny:
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Offline DarkDemon

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #51 on: September 05, 2012, 12:32:34 pm »
I love it! I could give you a long list of people who would read that novel! :D Please continue writing!
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Offline typingwithpaws

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #52 on: September 05, 2012, 01:20:26 pm »
Glass (part 2):

Everyone had evacuated the area searching for him and the camp was plunged into an eerie silence.
William switched to infra-red vision to search for anyone remaining that would fit the description of someone in a hostage situation. It did not take long, his eyes passed over a building with no windows and a glowing figure inside laying on the floor in one section and what looked to be a guard sitting on a chair in the opposing corner.

Quietly he padded up to the door and tried the handle, ready to dispatch the guard should he be alerted to his presence. The guard remained motionless but the door was also locked, this presented him with a noisy alternative. He ran around the back of the building behind the wall the guard was sitting and de-cloaked. Grabbing Mr. T with both hands he allowed vast quantities of electricity to flow into the multi-barrelled weapon.
One last check around proved that there was no more hidden assailants and so he powered up the laser turret. The barrel began to rotate, glowing red at each tip as it gathered speed. William braced himself and pulled the trigger. A great stream of bright red light pierced the darkness and completely wiped out the wall in front of it. over the sound of the laser he heard the horrific sound of breaking glass, so much glass. He waved the beam up and down to sweep away any overhanging parts of building then released the trigger. The dust was too think for any normal person to see through but since this did not bother William he pressed into the room. The guard was nowhere to be found but the simple barred cell was still intact, within was his objective. A lioness named Tessa, his previous commanding officer.

"Tessa" he said, hoping she could hear him after the previous noise.
"What's happening?" she screamed.

William raced toward the bars, pulled two of them out of the ground like they were nothing more than match sticks and began working on Tessa's bonds, first removing her blindfold.
While he worked on her leg ties he noticed the large pile of multicoloured smashed glass in the now open room space. It was all in various shapes and complex patters like a chemistry set but was in a full rainbow of colours.

"You shouldn't have come, this entire base was set up as a trap" Tessa informed him.
"Well that is unexpected, just means we are going to have to be fast about this, can you run on all four?"
"Excuse me soldier?"
"Ma'm, I mean no disrespect but can you run on all four? you know as well as I do that it is much faster than running bipedal."
"Who are you, to think you can make requests like that? where is your commanding officer?"
"I am a friend of yours, your rescuer and my commanding officer decided to sit this one out, along with any support. So will you please follow me outside."
"You and I are going to have a long talk when we return to base, If we can achieve that alive" Tessa grumbled.

The two of them walked outside the destroyed building and headed toward the hillside where William had entered the area. Looking up there was a nasty sight visible, over two hundred soldiers looking down on them, rifles raised.
One of them, William assumed their leader, stepped forward and spoke to them in a foreign language. William's translate immediately understood the words; "Drop your weapon and surrender or we will open fire and destroy you."

"He says he wants you to surrender" Informed Tessa.
"Just shut up and get behind me, be ready to run."

William had had enough of this mission already, stuck with a disrespectful commander and faced with a firing squad. It was time to get out of here.
Once again he took a wider stance, braced his left leg behind him as he gripped the Turret again. He redirected as much power as he could to the MRT and it spooled up faster than ever. William pulled the trigger and began to lay waste to the hillside, sweeping the red beam up and down while yelling at the top of what would have been his lungs.
Back and forwth he swept, as if mopping a floor littered with little black ants.

when he could no longer see anything due to dust he shouted "Run!" and they both did so. Tessa streamed along side him, running of all four of her paws while William lopped along beside her lugging Mr. T with him......




to be continued more methinks, gotta go to work. Need to explain what the smashed glass used to be, what it was for.
paws
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Offline DarkDemon

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #53 on: September 05, 2012, 02:24:39 pm »
*GASP* The supense!!! :D Maybe that stuff in the glass should have been some kind of new germ war-fare thing!! Or a biochemical weapon! That'd give you a reason for the government spending so much monee's! Or, maybe the government has bad guys who want this crazy stuff that could be extra useful with new cyborg stuff or even some new weapons or bombs!!! :o ((Sorry, I just think those ideas would be really cool to see in writing form :3))
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Offline Old Rabbit

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #54 on: September 06, 2012, 09:54:09 am »
Nothing like keeping the readers wanting more.  :D

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Offline typingwithpaws

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #55 on: September 08, 2012, 06:02:11 am »
here we go again.

Glass (Part 3):

William pounded along through the dust, Tessa coughed a few times trying to get a clean breath of fresh air as they ran.
They could both hear people moving in the dusty darkness, William was about to change over his vision from night to infra-red again when a ear-splitting crack echoed through the night followed by a distinctive 'ting' noise.
William lost vision in one of his eyes and the other lost colour and returned to normal vision mode. He was not about to let this slow him down however, with his spare arm he scooped up Tessa, ignoring her complaints and redoubled his speed.

"Put me down you idiot!" squealed Tessa as they blasted through the treeline and into the think forest toward the extraction point.
"Not until we're out of the danger area, the extraction point is another three miles from here. That last shot hit me it seems" He said.
"You're injured? Where's the blood?" yelled Tessa over the rushing air.

'She doesn't know about me?' William queried to himself. 'As if the strength and speed were not dead give away's.'

To discourage her curiosity he said "Don't worry about me, lets just get out of here."

More shots echoed through the air but none came close again and soon the welcoming arms of the recovery team were in sight.
As they reached the chopper the flight crew took Tessa into the aircraft while another escorted William to the rear door and instructed him to sit down.
"You're being re-deployed three clicks north" explained the crew member.

"Already? I can't, I'm down an eye and have lost complicated functions in the other. Operating effectively in the dark with these two impairments would be unwise" said William.

"Which is why we've got a technician on board for you, get inside and lay down, exposing the damage if you please"

William boarded and stowed Mr. T then lay down on his belly as the chopper shook under him, leaving the ground behind.
Tessa was strapped into her seat only a few feet from where he lay. She was thoroughly confused when the technician squatted beside the fox with a toolbox rather than a medical kit.

"What's dammaged?" asked the small
Squirrel as he prepared some tools.

"No idea you tell me" retorted William.

"that's not how this works, open your diagnostics menu and tell me what's fried"

"And how do you propose I do that?" growled William, he had already had enough of being treated like a machine.

"Say 'open diag' nice and clearly, that's how you are supposed to open all menu's or didn't you read the manual?"

"You guys never game me a manual!" He yelled.

"What's going on? are you going to stop the bleeding or not?" asked Tessa franticly.

"Open Diag" said William as instructed, he just needed to get this mess over and done with. Three seconds after finishing the verbal command a list of components appeared before his eyes. Scrolling down there were three highlighted in red marked as 'damaged'.

"The triple five circuit is down and so is the comparator, both will require parts or replacement according to the readout" William informed the Squirrel.

The technician mumbled something about 'attitude' then went to work. Tessa however, gawked at the process like a slack jawed idiot. William decided to stimulate a constructive conversation as his remaining eye went dark.

"What was all that glass work next to your cell Tessa?" he asked.

"You, your not...not a fox. You're an android!" she stammered out.

"Yes yes, look lets get past that, you will be debriefed when you get back to base, but for now can you answer my question?"

"The glass, the glass. Oh the Glass! From what I could understand from it and what they talked about, it was some sort of chemistry set. They are attempting to develop a chemical weapon and I had a hunch that I was to be the test subject."

"I see" said William, almost laughing at the ironic statement he had just made.

"Do you know anything about what they had planned?" she asked.

"Not a clue, my objective was to rescue you then escape, that is all."

"I can't hold it in any longer, Are you completely robotic or is all that some kind of prosthetic?" she asked gesturing at his body.

"The first is correct I am not all that ecstatic to report. I was once a soldier serving under you, though you might not remember me."

His vision returned with a flicker and his eyes began adjusting their focus to the correct level.

"Thanks" he said to the Squirrel.

"No worries, just make sure you look out for the bullets next time, these parts are not cheap!"

A voice came over the helicopters speakers; "Opening rear doors, be ready to jump in thirty seconds"
"Looks like I don't have time to catch up properly Tessa" he said as he stood up and put on a parachute from the rack.

"No doubt the captain will drag us into a room for a meeting soon in any case" she replied.

William took one last look around the cargo bay then jumped out the back as the clock reached 00:00.






i think that can safely finish glass. man i'm tired.
if you can be bothered, constructive critizism is welcome, pick holes. what DON'T you like?

paws
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Offline typingwithpaws

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #56 on: September 08, 2012, 06:34:38 pm »
Possibilities and Satellite next, but I wanted to put a final addition to the previous story:

William detached his chute when there was only a 30 foot drop remaining. He landed with a heavy footed thud in a small clearing, using his powerful legs to soak up the impact. Recovering from his descent he shrugged off his parachute pack then he took a quick look around the thick, dark forest that surrounded him.
It was then with great regret that he realised that he lad left the MRT on the helicopter!
William put a paw over his eyes and shook his head, "Why am I so stupid sometimes?"
As if to answer his question there was a slight whistling sound followed by a deafening 'Thud' before he and his surroundings were engulfed in flying dirt particles and dead leaves.

William brushed the debris off his face and head and looked toward the source of the impact. A few steps away was a gouge in the earth about four feet long, he walked over to it and looked into the hole. There covered in dirt and leaves with a little note attached was Mr. T.
William threw back his head and laughed, what a scenario. "You're tougher than I thought" he said to the big gun.
He hoisted the weapon from its crater and read the note attached; "You forgot this - Tessa."

William scrunched the paper and stowed it then shook the dirt off his gun and radioed base for his orders while he walked of into the gloom.





i just thought of that and thought it to be a kinda cool comedic break up. whatever, i liked the idea hehehehe
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Offline DarkDemon

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #57 on: September 08, 2012, 06:43:25 pm »
Hmm... Well, since you're tired I can understand :P You made just a few spelling errors here and there but it was just simple stuffs, you know? The other thing is, also this happens to me when I'm tired and writing, this part seemed to go by fairly quickly. Like you just stated what happened, you didn't really write it... If you even understand that, I'm pretty tired my self *shruggz* But overall, it was pretty good ^^ From what I've read, you can do much better :3
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Offline typingwithpaws

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #58 on: September 08, 2012, 09:13:26 pm »
Thanks Dark, i appreciate it. it would do me good to proof read my stuff before posting it ha, at least run it over MS word. i type it in the posting window. but even then i noticed i placed the word 'game' in a totaly retarded location  x_x

maybe i should get off my butt, clean the house then get back to it before it gets late.  :P
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Offline Old Rabbit

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #59 on: September 09, 2012, 08:24:52 am »
It's good to do rewrites and proofs, but it's up to you as this is a good place
for feedback.

By the way. I made a mistake when I refered to William as a andriod. He
would be a cyborg unless he really is all machine.

Just a thought. You could have the tech tell William to see the manuel
just ask for it like he did the diagnostic. "Say view tech manuel or user
manuel"  That could be something for a later chapter. Don't want to
make it too easy for William.  :D

Keep up the good work.

Oh! and there is a good word. "Cyborg"  :orbunny:
« Last Edit: September 09, 2012, 08:33:48 am by Old Rabbit »
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Offline typingwithpaws

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #60 on: September 16, 2012, 04:03:44 am »
breaking the rules here, i wanted to draw a comic on this but it wasn't coming out right.

pre-required information before reading:
Today we were all issued uncomfortable hard hats at work
Nuts is the guy who is always in the workshop and has a 'steriotype' hanging about him for miss treating apprentices (he dosen't of course but he's a pretty....crochety old man)

I've written a story based on these work characters before so i'll pick up there with their data.



Hard Hats:

Lee tapped away quietly at the keyboard, his claws clicking each key in turn followed by a dull thunk of the space bar.

sighing, he leaned back on his chair, put his arms behind his head and stretched his back. But rather than the sharp sound of stiff joints re-arranging themselves he was met with an entirely different noise; Thud, Thud, Thud.

"What the hell is that old prick up to now?" he grumbled.

Donning his new hard hat, high visibility vest and safety glasses he left his office and made his way toward the large white shed that was the workshop.
Forklifts zoomed past in all directions as he crossed the yard, Hink almost ran him over due to the high and wide load he was carrying on his own forklift.
Once out of that minefield of vehicular activity, Lee began paying more attention to the 'Thunk' noise, which was sounding more like a 'clock' than a 'thunk'.

The wolf flung open the door, slightly annoyed at having to leave his peacfull office and beheld something he had not expected one little bit.

Nuts was standing near the wall, holding a smaller member of his own species and ramming the hard-hatted apprentice into the wall again and again.
The apprentice had a strange blank look on his face and seemed to mind not every time his head was rammed into the concrete wall.

"What the heck are you doing you friggin idiot!" Yelled Lee over the noise.

"Ahh i'm jus seein' how good these new fangled hard hats are boss" replied the one eared fennec.

Lee's only response was to place a paw over his face, hang his head and return to his office.









yes it's very short, yes it's probably riddled with 'in' jokes. but i wanted to write it anyway for my own enjoyment. ive been very busy of late and have not had all that much time to write.
« Last Edit: September 16, 2012, 04:06:08 am by typingwithpaws »
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Offline Old Rabbit

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #61 on: September 17, 2012, 08:51:39 am »
I wouldn't worry about how short a story is. Your doing a
fine job. :orbunny:

One thing to keep in mind on comic's is one generally
makes a page of drawings to cover a paragraph of writing
or dialog. Of course that's not cast in steel, but a good rule
to follow.
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Offline typingwithpaws

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #62 on: September 19, 2012, 01:10:02 am »
Possibilities, Satellite and Cyborg. one clearly has to be geared toward William methinks ha.


Possibilities:

"Life is full of choices" lamented the Raccoon to his Lupin friend as they walked along the street.

"What suddenly brought this subject up?" She asked.

"Nothing in particular, just its that. well, do you ever wonder what would have happened if you did something different in your past?"

"No not really, the past is past as they say."

"Yeah but what if for instance, you had a bowl of cereal for breakfast this morning rather than toast, the energy difference could have affected your performance in gym class today."

"Does it really matter Daniel?"

"No not really Sasha, but what if it did?"

"Then I suppose if I did have toast for breakfast this morning it is entirely possible that I could have achieved another score on the 'beep test'. There are too many other factors that could have determined the outcome. Like how determined I was or how fast I reacted" Sasha explained.

"You're still a lot faster than me though"

"Hey that's not fair, it's my species. Totally unfair comparison."

Daniel loved having Sasha hanging around as a friend like this. He was the only Raccoon in school and because of this wasn't really automatically accepted into any of the usual groups.
He had no idea why the wolf had befriended him, there were plenty of her own species around to hang out with and they often asked her to join them but for unknown reasons she stayed with the Raccoon.

Daniel fixed up his crooked school tie then asked; "Why don't you spend more time with your own kind anyway?"

"Uhh, they seem nice from a distance as you see them. But once you get to know them, total idiots. Well, at least the ones I've talked to in schools. Always thinking they are so great and mighty. In reality they are no different from anyone else, they don't even show modesty about their abilities like you do."

"I wouldn't call having a higher sense of touch a great ability" muttered Daniel, looking at his paws.

"And you have a much cuter tail" she giggled and flicked it with one of her feet between steps.

The two friends ordered some chips from the shop and sat outside to eat.

"Ok then, If I chucked a sickie today, would you have come down to the shop? That choice alone would have affected the future" Daniel started before stuffing a few of the fried potato fingers in his mouth.

"No, If you did not come to school today I'd probably end up in the library or maybe exacting some smart comments on the other wolves. So yes that would have had a direct affect on what my activities today would have involved" she said.

Daniel chuckled, "Yeah I remember the last time you stirred them up, even the teachers thought it was funny as!"

"I don't get why they were so mad, it was only a paint bomb" she said then let out a bellow of laughter.

"Yeah he deserved it so bad, nice colour choice too. Bright florescent, glow-in-the-dark pink suited him so well"

They both were laughing now. Sasha almost fell off her chair, as she tried to catch herself from falling she knocked the bag of chips onto the footpath in front of them, spilling them everywhere.

"Oops" she said as the seagulls attacked, swooping down from everywhere to feast on the fallen food.

"Nice one, now they'll be hanging around for ages all asking for more with their 'mine mine mine' calls" said Daniel, rolling his eyes.

"Oh? And what if I do this" she said then picked up the smaller raccoon and ran back toward the school with him. "If we don't hang around then they can't annoy can they?"

"Not exactly what I had in mind" grunted Daniel as he jostled in her grip. "You know I am perfectly capable of walking myself don't you?"

"Oh ok, you're just so small compared to me. Kinda cute actually" she said putting him down.

"You know I hate being called cute" whispered Daniel.

"Anyway, common, we'll be late for class if we don't get a move on. Or are you too busy wondering what would happen if we didn't show up?" laughed Sasha, running off with Daniel in tow.







that was different. guests for tea, if i didn't have them i reckon I'd write some more.

paws
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Offline Old Rabbit

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #63 on: September 19, 2012, 08:29:56 am »
That was a bit different. Nice job on the dialog. :orbunny:
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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #64 on: September 19, 2012, 01:38:40 pm »
That was a bit different. Nice job on the dialog. :orbunny:

Yes, it resembled a movie script.  Nicely written. :)

I haven't given you a word in a while, so how about, spirit...

Offline DarkDemon

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #65 on: September 19, 2012, 07:32:40 pm »
I liked that last one :D and the one before it, I just got a chance to read them :3 but it was pretty interesting ((I like the paint-bomb thing! XD Epic))
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Offline typingwithpaws

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #66 on: September 26, 2012, 04:42:20 am »
Satellite:

Space.
It's cold and it's hot. Dangerous and unforgiving. But it is also peaceful and majestic. The earth looks so beautiful from where I'm floating high above it in microgravity. All the colours seem to be enhanced against the pure blackness of space behind it, even if it is speckled with countless unexplored stars and galaxies.

It's been two months since the war ended and i've become rather redundant for my original purposes. But being me does have it's perks.

My name is William, two years ago I was involved in a fatal wartime accident. I died. Due to some unforeseen character perks and a fair amount of luck I was selected to be the candidate for a revolutionary new type of robotic experiment. The result was a completely robotic copy of my former self, a rather scary concept as not a single part of my biological self remains. Thankfully it worked and I was able to return home in a few months to meet my family once again.

Now with the war over and the diplomatic situation on the repair, the forces have allowed me to live a free life as I once did before with a few restrictions. Pretty obvious things like to not use my strength for unfair advantages in certain situations, and to part with my various weapons that I carried for the past 2 years. Though of course there have been the odd occasion where I just may have surprised a overly-confident person in a challenge or two hahahaha.

Now, as a personal favour and part of a job, my commander rang me up the other day and asked if I wanted to being my family into space. I said yes but there was a catch, they wanted me to fix a few issues with the space station on the outside. The job was too tedious for a normal crew to carry out because the current space suits only allowed a few hours outside the pressurised interior while I can spend as long as I want outside.

So now I am floating outside the satellite with a small jet pack on my back and a tool belt around my waist. There's a few wiring issues that I just finished up before waving to the missus and the kids through the small window.

I can't imagine how they'd be feeling, no gravity holding them down, that feeling of falling might be similar I'd say. I cant feel anything, I'm all bolted together pretty solidly haha.

One last look around the space station's hull and ill head back in. Probably shouldn't be making a E-journal entry while on the job, but hey. Being half computer always has some up-sides right? and what's the boss gonna do? fire me? ha, he'd have fun getting someone else to do this job.

This is William Fennec signing off, good night all.








hey that was different also, short and sweet. a pre-log to details for william, if only basic while delving into my FAVOURITE area of stories....the aftermath. what do hero's do when there are no more bad guys to match their 'super' powers.

paws
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Offline Old Rabbit

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #67 on: September 26, 2012, 08:20:47 am »
I see you put William an family out in orbit.  Kind of a space fox family with
a robot dad instead  :D

Keep up the good work.

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Offline Mylo

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #68 on: September 26, 2012, 01:51:38 pm »
That journal entry added a lot of character to William.  :)  It kind of reminded me of Avatar or Alien when Jake and Ripley would do journals like that.  Keep it up!

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #69 on: September 30, 2012, 05:34:36 am »
I liked that journal but a question popped in my head while reading it. He doesn't need oxygen, right? And he was in a space suit? Sorry, I'm pretty tired :P can't really pick out the details!! Oh, and here's a word :D  Time    .... Also, can he grow? O.o
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Offline typingwithpaws

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #70 on: October 07, 2012, 04:27:53 am »
i forget what word i am up to...lets go with

Time:

"So what's it like?" Asked Dave as he walked beside his old friend.

"What do you mean? Like emotional changes or physical?" asked Shaun as he padded along beside.

"I thought the question was pretty obvious, but i'll outline it just for you" started Dave sarcastically. "How do you feel since you exited the program that resulted in your very strange transformation?"

"You already know half of my story. Crazy madman, super spy, unplanned results yada yada" replied Shaun.

"Thats not the point, I know you don't get much time out between your current military involvement but I want to know what it 'feels' like to be an animal."

"Right, now I understand what you're getting at. forgive me for being a stupid fox as per usual."

The two stopped at a park bench and Dave sat. Shaun also sat on the bench but it was rather awkward getting to that position with legs bent like they were. Not to mention the tail.

"Ok so the first thing that I noticed was eyesight. Its not like human in any way, but nor is it entirely animal according to Dr Parva. The program was designed to hybridise certain aspects to produce the best possible hybrid. As a result I have the clarity and movement detecting of the fox while retaining the colour and sharpness of the human eye." Explained Shaun slowly so that he would not be required to repeat himself.

"So that sign way up the street there held up by that man. What does that read?" said Dave as he pointed along the busy street.

"Time is short, the end is nigh" Said Shaun with confidence. "But you and I both know that he always writes that same message up on his sign. Is that old fruitloop ever gonna give up?"

"Doubt it very much. Speaking of time, How much of it do you have? Will you live a normal lifespan?" asked Dave, his eyes lighting up with curiosity.

"Not the foggiest idea. It's been a year since the incident and I don't feel like I've aged more than one human year, let along however many dog years that is."

"Yeah but you're not a dog" retorted Dave

"Same genus or something. Close enough for arguments sake."

The two just sat for awhile in silence, enjoying their newly refurbished friendship. Birds chirped and cawwed, making quite a racket.
Dave was getting annoyed at this. "Can't you bark or growl or something to make them shut up!?"

"When was the last time you saw a fox bark?" said Shaun rolling his eyes and raising an eyebrow.

"can't you do something?"

"I can do this." Started Shaun then screeched out a highish pitched coo that pierced the air and blocked out all other sound.
The birds all fell silent then flew off in a giant ball of feathers and chattering.

"What the heck was that?" yelled Dave, hands over his ears.

"It worked didn't it?" laughed Shaun.





ok so i disliked that, didnt flow well...i blame sleep lack of.  :-[

paws
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Offline Old Rabbit

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #71 on: October 07, 2012, 09:29:57 am »
Though it probably could be touched up, it's not bad as is. Dialogs
don't often flow well unless they are rehearsed.

Also it depends on how it relates to the story. A
outsider listening nearby would likely find it a very
curious conversation.

Keep up the good work. :orbunny:

How about "curious" for a word.
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Offline typingwithpaws

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #72 on: October 25, 2012, 03:42:41 am »
time for another long awaited chapter (at least by me) of my new favourite brainchild; William.

Spirit:

Smooth jazz filled the fox's head as he padded along beside his new commanding officer. The music helped calm his mind for the coming verbal abuse he would surely suffer from this new individual. It seemed to be a common trait among higher ranking officers, lamented William. That arrogance and degrading comments were part of the job somehow. He was rather fed up with it by now after several months in the field. He should at least have commanded some respect among the corps.

"Are you prepared for the testing Private?" barked the heavily muscled wolf.

"Sir, yes I am." replied William.

"Well I damn well hope so because If you're not, I'm gonna have you taken to the scrapyard and recycled into tin cans for other soldiers MRE's!"

William had finally had enough of this; "Sir, I respectfully request you use a different tone when speaking to me, It has begun to get on my nerves."

The Wolf stopped instantly, turned to face William and pointed one clawed finger at the robot and screamed with much flying spittle; "I will treat you exactly as I want to treat you! You are no flesh and blood soldier, you are only a piece of equipment and I will treat you as such! You don't even have spirit, let alone a soul!"

If William had blood, it surely would have been boiling by this point.

"Look here you, I don't want to be treated..." began William before being cut off.

"You dare to argue this point further? submit you bucket of bolts!"


Quick as a flash William raised a paw and rammed it into his superior officers throat and slammed him into the wall, cracking the concrete. The wolf's scowl had quickly turned to the wide eyed expression of pure fear. It was as if someone had stolen every ounce of his courage and thrown it out the nearest window.
William released his grip ever so slightly to allow the commander to take a wheezing breath.

"You listen to me very very carefully. I am just as much man as you are and I do not appreciate being treated like dirt. Not by you, not by your boss, not by anyone! I am my own master, I have free will, I do have spirit, and I do have a soul. No one can take that away from me!" growled William, tail swishing vigorously.

"You...you will be decommissioned for this" wheezed out the wolf.

"Decommissioned? No I don't think so, I'm far too important for that. You may be my superior, but only because command cannot have someone like me appear to have control."

"Who do you think you are?"

"Who do I think I am? I am a Father, a fighter, a protector, an assassin, a repair man, and a friend. That's who I am and there is no changing that. I might be made entirely of machinery, but I still care for who I am and what I do. Call it heart if you will."

William released his grip and allowed the wolf to collapse to the floor, dazed. The wolf looked up at his new adversary. William extended a paw to help the wolf up, he thought about it for a second then accepted the gesture.

"Despite what you might think, there is no reason you and I cannot be friends. As the age old saying goes, Treat others as you want to be treated yourself" elucidated William.
The commander gave a curt nod and straightened his uniform. "I shall take your comments into consideration. Also, I always thought the saying was 'Do unto others, before others do unto you'"

"Well you only have it completely backwards" said William with a very slight chuckle.

The pair continued their walk toward the testing chamber, now more as equals than ever before.







well that one felt better, wish it was a tad longer, was going to go into what a 'soul' in fact is from both characters opinions but ehh....also i think i need to work on setting the scene better. its something ive noticed missing from my other stories.
anyway, happy reading.

paws
« Last Edit: October 25, 2012, 03:45:55 am by typingwithpaws »
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Offline Old Rabbit

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #73 on: October 25, 2012, 08:39:05 am »
That was a good read.  Tells a lot about William in a few
sentences.  :orbunny:
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Offline Mylo

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #74 on: October 25, 2012, 02:43:30 pm »
Nice to see you do my word Typing.  :)  If you've ever seen Full Metal Jacket...that's what I thought of while reading this piece.  Great job!  Now try...foreigner