Author Topic: Story openings  (Read 569 times)

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Offline Hesper Scott

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Story openings
« on: November 28, 2014, 11:25:15 pm »
Hey, I was thinking about having one of these two monologues as the opening to a story. Could I hear anything about which is better and why? They're narrated by different characters.

#1: Today, Iím wondering why my family moved to Cherry Creeks. It may have involved the influence of sinister deities beyond our control, but probably it was just awful luck. The schools are good, and the houses cheap. Low crime, endless backyards, and the blandest people to be found anywhere. At least I have my good health. Oh wait, no I don't.

#2: I thought it was possible that things were going to change. I thought I would leave, be safe forever, never have to deal with this town ever again. It would have been a nice ending. It's tidy, simple, and peaceful. The problem is that it didn't happen. I'm still here, Addy's here too, and I don't think I'm allowed to use the oven anymore... at least not unsupervised. I don't joke when I say that I fear for my life.
« Last Edit: November 29, 2014, 02:27:10 pm by Hesper Scott »
Whenever I see these signatures, I feel like I should use mine to say something really interesting and profound, but I always end up with some generic quote or saying. Hmm. That's unfortunate. Well, now guess who looks like a excessively meta killjoy. I do!

Offline Iara Warriorfeather

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Re: Story openings
« Reply #1 on: November 29, 2014, 11:47:11 am »
#2 sounds better to me. I think because it leaves the name of the town a mystery, and makes you wonder why the character is feeling the way they are...it just reads as more compelling.
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