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Well, yesterday at the drama club cast/crew/family/whatev party we were all downstairs. We were talking and someone goes, "Jen, you're so gay." as a joke. I say, "Nah, I'm just bi."

Most kids laughed and thought it was a good joke. Someone goes, "You are? Seriously?"

Someone else said, "Dude, she was just kidding." I say, "No, I'm serious."

They all stare and start asking me random stuff. One girl didn't believe me, and the girl who was sitting next to me on the couch scoocted away from me a little, but I didn't feel bad. NMy freind Jordan did a hand punch to me and said, "Power to ya" and a few others thought it was cool. Some ran upstairs and a little while later a girl came down and asked if what I said was true, because she heard them saying it and thought that they were spreading rumors. I told her I was 95% sure I was and that I was about 60/40 and not 50/50. She said that she was bi as well and that she knew what it was like to have rumors spread, which is why she asked.

The girl who didn't believe me STILL doesn't even after trhee or four people told her. My brother who was at the party I didn't tell; I don't feel like telling him yet.

I feel so happy. I dropped the bomb but it didn't go off '>

go you!! what you did takes a lot of guts. i wish i had the guts to come out to the people that i know (yes i am also bi).

yay well done. i no the whole thing with rumors as well i went thru it all. only problem is tellin the parents. *shrugs* o well ill tell them...sometime

It might be worth considering telling your brother now though as there are now people who know . He might find out off someone else and news like that is sometimes better handeled if given from the person involved. But for now good job youve got guts.

Coolness. '>  It's great that your friends were so cool about it.

Cool ^v^. Glad to hear it went over well. Isn't it odd when people don't believe what you tell them? My whole family still doesn't believe i'm seriously a fur. Oh well good job on the bomb dropping ^v^. *high fives*

Congrats, that took a lot of guts and I'm glad it worked out so well. Hopefully your brother will be just as cool with it when you tell him. If he's not I got something you can tell him to make him see your point about it, I'd post it but its not exactly PG13 *grins*. It was told to me by a gay friend.

Good job, Raef. Glad to hear that it went well.

Awesome!  You've got great friends. n.n

 Wow... that takes some guts... way to go on that. Just be careful and ready to accept all that your lifestyle intails.

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Quote (marley @ Mar. 07 2004, 4:54 pm)

go you!! what you did takes a lot of guts. i wish i had the guts to come out to the people that i know (yes i am also bi).

Ditto here.

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Quote (Sporty Fox @ Mar. 07 2004, 9:23 pm)

Congrats, that took a lot of guts and I'm glad it worked out so well. Hopefully your brother will be just as cool with it when you tell him. If he's not I got something you can tell him to make him see your point about it, I'd post it but its not exactly PG13 *grins*. It was told to me by a gay friend.

Curiosity killed the cat, you know - and I'm biting.  PM me with whatever this little tidbit is, please? '>

I guess I have a disconnect where public pronouncements about private matters are concerned.  "I am what I am and that all that I am," to quote Popeye.  What business is it of anyone else?  What you did, Raef, takes guts, but is it anybody's business?  Now you're going to have to deal with all the PUBLIC falllout from this;  just wait 'til it hits your friends' parents.  They're going to feel obligated to take a stand, because you've now made it THEIR business and put it "in their face",  instead of them being able to privately draw their own conclusions from your observed behavior.   Also, depending on your age, they maybe uncomfortable about you making a public pronouncement about sexual matters and wonder what it implies, not about your  thoughts and feelings, but about your activities.  Do they want their kids involved in this?  Just some thoughts...

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Quote (Oxymoron @ Mar. 09 2004, 7:17 am)

I guess I have a disconnect where public pronouncements about private matters are concerned.  "I am what I am and that all that I am," to quote Popeye.  What business is it of anyone else?  What you did, Raef, takes guts, but is it anybody's business?  Now you're going to have to deal with all the PUBLIC falllout from this;  just wait 'til it hits your friends' parents.  They're going to feel obligated to take a stand, because you've now made it THEIR business and put it "in their face",  instead of them being able to privately draw their own conclusions from your observed behavior.   Also, depending on your age, they maybe uncomfortable about you making a public pronouncement about sexual matters and wonder what it implies, not about your  thoughts and feelings, but about your activities.  Do they want their kids involved in this?  Just some thoughts...

However, it is often easier to deal with things when they are out in the open.  What if some of Raef's friends made jokes about homosexuals or at times would say hurtful things about other students who it was rumoured were bi or gay in front of her.  They don't know that this is something that would be hurtful to her as well, they are just saying what everyone else is saying.  

Making a public declaration is also as much a statement to yourself that you are not going to worry about hiding the fact that you are bi or gay.  If you are straight and have a crush on someone you would discuss it, but if you are bi or gay and not out in the open you have to keep it hidden inside.  Hiding many times means laughing along with jokes about being gay or bi even though they hurt you because you are afraid you will be found out if you don't.  *Chuckles*  From what I've seen of Raef, she wouldn't be the type to not give someone her piece of mind whether she is out in the open or not, but there are many who would just stay silent and let the hurt eat them up inside.

I say closets are for clothes, towels and storing various household items, not for furs/humans to hide who they are.  Perhaps a public declaration isn't the best way to start a policy of being open, but I'm sure it felt good to make a statement to the world and to yourself that I am X, and I am comfortable that I am X.

'>  I actualy agree with both of you. If Raef is ready to handle the public fallout then more power to her. However if she has a problem when people start to talk and act differently around her then I guess that was a big oversite on her part. For most people when they have something on there chest they wanna get it off. That is fine and very understandable. However... Raef did now make this there buisness and so... now she gets to enjoy all that goes with it. yes it took some courage. Yes it might be easyer if she said nothing... but now she spoke... it is all too late for anything to change. I just hope the best for her now. '>

"I guess I have a disconnect where public pronouncements about private matters are concerned.  "I am what I am and that all that I am," to quote Popeye.  What business is it of anyone else?

No ones, but, I hate keeping things like this away and shut out.


"What you did, Raef, takes guts, but is it anybody's business?"

Read the above '>


"Now you're going to have to deal with all the PUBLIC falllout from this;"

The public can bite me. *holds up pointer, middle, and ring fingers* Read between the lines, public! '>

"just wait 'til it hits your friends' parents."

Yeah. I've alreadyhad a freind tell their mom and their mom said they'd gladly take me in should I be kicked out, and others have said their parents had no problem with it.

"They're going to feel obligated to take a stand, because you've now made it THEIR business and put it "in their face",  instead of them being able to privately draw their own conclusions from your observed behavior."

Most of my freinds are trustworthy people. Their parents trust their judgement And should I carewhat they're parents think?

"Also, depending on your age, they maybe uncomfortable about you making a public pronouncement about sexual matters and wonder what it implies, not about your  thoughts and feelings, but about your activities."

I'm a fairly open celibate* too, I made sure I told my freinds that, and I'm willing to bet it's been passed around.

"Do they want their kids involved in this?  Just some thoughts... " '>"

Whether or not they want em involved is one thing. Whether or not the kids get involved is another.

"*Chuckles*  From what I've seen of Raef, she wouldn't be the type to not give someone her piece of mind whether she is out in the open or not"

You know me well '>


*Celibate=no sex till marriage. Celibate is considered abstaining from sex for religous reasons. I don't have a religion, per se, but a strict set of personal beliefs, which IS the definition of religion, and that's one of my beliefs.


OH!!! PS:

The girl who scooted away? She thought 'bizexual' actually meant 'incest'. I should have known she thought it was something else...she had earlier confused 'satanist' with 'masochist.' LOL.

Good on you! '>  I myself am bi, and I've only told a few of my close friends, plus my twin brother.