Link to main story:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/2792557/Yes, I know this is just the epilogue. Unfortunately my Hard Drive crashed inbetween writing and editing the story. This one file was all I could recover, and it was in the pseudo stages of editing. I fixed it up a little bit from where it was, and posted.
What's the story leading up to this? Well, the story begins in a college setting. My character Triard meets my friend's character Saetia, in the lunchroom. After a brief staring contest she goes up and talks to him, and shows him a spot up on the catwalk in the auditorium / theater, where they can smoke inside, since it's raining. They hang out a couple more times, then Triard asks her out on a date, and takes her to the movies. They share their first kiss, and go back to the college. Around 3 AM that night, neither could sleep. Triard texts Saetia, and asks her if she wants to hang out, she tells him to go to their special spot, which is the spot she took him to when they first met. She has out a little picnic of some small foods laid out, with champagne when he arrives, and she takes his virginity on the catwalk.
Fast forward a couple of weeks, Triard takes Saetia to a concert. They have a good time down in the pit area, before a lion who has been stalking Saetia for months, comes forward in Triard's absence, and tries to kidnap her. He returns in time to get into a fight with him, and the lion ends up Tazed and arrested. The next scene takes place after the Lion gets out of jail. Saetia calls Triard in the morning during the winter, telling him she has urgent news. She planned on telling him that she's pregnant.
They begin to go for a walk, but are interupted by the lion again. Triard threatens him with a knife, the lion pulls out a gun, and points it at an innocent bystander, ordering Saetia to come with him. Triard makes the decision to lunge at the lion, and is shot in the wing for his efforts, followed by the bystander being shot, then Saetia being kidnapped. He hi-jacks a car, and takes off. Triard hops in his car and chases him, the lion spinning around at a police barricade. Triard plays chicken with the other car, spinning him out. Saetia didn't have her seat belt on, and is fatally wounded in the crash. The lion, now desperate, drags her from the car and starts yelling at the cops to back off. Realizing that he can't escape, he shoves her into a tree, and fires two shots into her chest, before pointing the gun at himself. Triard lunges, ignoring his wing, and tears him limb from limb. ((I was really proud of that scene too. T_T)) He then goes to comfort Saetia, who dies in his arms after telling him about the baby.
The story I have uploaded on FA picks up around there. I'm looking for comments in general, about both my writing style, and the story line itself. I'm not taking full credit for this either, about 60% of the work overall was done by me, probably around 40% was done by Saetia's owner.
