Author Topic: Chuck Norris Facts (Read 27862 times)

Ragnorrock_13 · « **Reply #25 on:** August 27, 2011, 10:42:51 am »

If Chuck Norris is Jesus, then what does that make Bruce Lee?

Buddha

Mylo · « **Reply #26 on:** August 28, 2011, 02:44:02 pm »

When we were looking for weapons of mass destruction in the Middle East, we found out that Chuck Norris was just vacationing there.

Morphy · « **Reply #27 on:** August 28, 2011, 10:22:23 pm »

Chuck Norris has won The Game... twice.

Onion · « **Reply #28 on:** August 30, 2011, 10:21:58 pm »

Chuck Norris went to Jared!

Mylo · « **Reply #29 on:** August 30, 2011, 10:48:27 pm »

Chuck Norris doesn't buy airplane tickets. He jumps, roundhouse kicks the earth, and lands.

Ragnorrock_13 · « **Reply #30 on:** August 31, 2011, 12:08:56 am »

Chuck Norris has better taste than the most interesting man in the world. He drinks Sierra Nevada.

Morphy · « **Reply #31 on:** September 13, 2011, 02:01:37 am »

Chuck Norris once tried shadow kick-boxing. Six weeks later, his shadow was released from the hospital and still walks with a limp to this day.

Mylo · « **Reply #32 on:** September 13, 2011, 10:59:38 pm »

We only see one side of the moon because Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the other side.

Sunny Snowflame · « **Reply #33 on:** September 23, 2011, 10:49:05 am »

Chuck Norris can touch 'dis!!

It's Hammer Time!

Arashi_Calunata · « **Reply #34 on:** October 09, 2011, 09:26:15 pm »

My lord... I have three posters of this sort of thing.

-Chuck Norris' smile once brought a puppy back to life.
-Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. It's descendants are known today as Giraffes.
-Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

Sheeta · « **Reply #35 on:** October 09, 2011, 10:23:57 pm »

Most kids wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Tommy Fox Stone · « **Reply #36 on:** October 11, 2011, 07:31:15 pm »

Chuck Norris is so fast he is able too run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head...

Narei Mooncatt · « **Reply #37 on:** November 14, 2011, 10:05:26 am »

Chuck Noris' helicopter doesn't hover. It beats the air into submission.

MWBrantley · « **Reply #38 on:** November 15, 2011, 07:20:07 pm »

Most earthquakes are actually caused by Chuck Norris doing pushups.

dragonfire · « **Reply #39 on:** November 17, 2011, 01:18:22 am »

Chuch norris can beast a statue in a staring contest

Narei Mooncatt · « **Reply #40 on:** November 17, 2011, 01:36:57 am »

Chuck Norris will argue with a fense post, and win.

MWBrantley · « **Reply #41 on:** November 17, 2011, 12:01:07 pm »

does not fly to a distant city. He sits in the airplane and the distant city flies to him.

Richter · « **Reply #42 on:** November 17, 2011, 06:28:55 pm »

Chuck Norris CAN eat just one Lay's Potato Chip.

MWBrantley · « **Reply #43 on:** November 20, 2011, 10:04:06 pm »

Chuck Norris just puckers his lips, and the candles on his birthday cake blow themselves out.

Hashira · « **Reply #44 on:** December 15, 2011, 07:24:54 pm »

Chuck Norris threw a grenade, it killed fifty people, then the grenade blew up.

Rocket T. Coyote · « **Reply #45 on:** December 28, 2011, 10:53:00 pm »

Chuck Norris upset the Periodic Table. He only recognizes the element of surprise.

aspect · « **Reply #46 on:** December 29, 2011, 12:30:14 am »

Some people can bend a spoon with only their mind. Chuck Norris can bend a spoon without even using his mind.

aspect · « **Reply #47 on:** December 29, 2011, 12:32:48 am »

Chuck Norris' consciousness doesn't move forward through time, time moves backward through Chuck Norris.

Soulneko · « **Reply #48 on:** December 29, 2011, 04:16:23 am »

Chuck Norris can simply walk into mordor

Rocket T. Coyote · « **Reply #49 on:** December 29, 2011, 09:31:52 pm »

Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick satellites into orbit.