(to my knowledge, these are all my own, as i made them up on the spot)
Chuck Norris knows what happened to Elvis
When Chuck Norris runs a red light, he gets a check in the mail
How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Norris? (an awful lot)
Chuck Norris beat a wall in a staring contest
Chuck Norris can shuffle a deck of cards without touching them
Chuck Norris can finish race before it begins
At one point, Chuck Norris played baseball. he broke the bat, stole every base, and the ball right flew out of the park. he never even picked up the bat.
Chuck Norris chose to have Andrew Ryan as his slave.
Chuck Norris and Mr. T once had an arm wrestle. the earth split in half,leaving one on each side. they have yet to find a table that will support their combined strength.
Handsome jack wears his mask because of his encounter with Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris hit a grand slam while bowling
Chuck Norris has Chewbaca as his pet
If Chuck Norris licks a frozen pole, his tongue does not get stuck; the pole melts
Chuck Norris does not win lotteries; they give themselves up willingly
Chuck Norris can win in a game of chess on the first turn
One day at school, Little Johny heard his friends talking about what who would win in a fight between Chuck Norris, Bruce lee, and Mr T. Johny said that they were a bunch of old men, and he could take them all on by himself. on the way home, Johny got lost in the alleyways, and found himself in a T-shaped intersection. he turned to his left, and saw Chuck Norris walking towards him, looking most displeased. he turned to his right, and there was Bruce lee. he turned behind him, and yep, there was Mr T. the three of them suddenly took off into a run, yelling at Johny and holding out their fists. Johny did not exist. ever. he was never born, nobody was ever knew him. he was not "taken out of existence" he just never existed in the first place.