Emergency Services in an Anthro World (Non-serious edition)

[Draconium]

This ties in with Furry Health and Hygiene Regulations.

What would emergency services be like a world populated by anthros and humans? I'd imagine they would have a WAAAY harder job.

Let's have some fun with this!

I'd imagine 911 calls would be MUCH more interesting:

Example: The 3 Little Pigs 

Dispatcher: 911, what is your emergency?

Caller: *Sobs* There's a wolf at my door and he's trying to break in! He's already destroyed my brothers' houses.

Wolf (unseen): I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down! *Directs powerful gust of wind at door*

Caller: Ahh!!! I don't wanna become dinner, please send someone over!

Dispatcher: Calm down sir. Can you tell us your address?

Caller: It's 542 Grimm Lane.

Dispatcher: Alright, the police will be on their way.

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For EMTs I'd imagine equipment would be much more varied.

Can you imagine a backboard for an anthro elephant, it'd be a freaking table of plastic!

And what if an elephant needs CPR?  Do you get a bison or draft horse EMT?

And what about an injured herbivore? Would they be more comfortable with an herbivore EMT?

Would carnivores be restricted for EMT positions?


And now for a medical 911 call:

Dispatcher: 911, what is your emergency?

Caller: There's a zebra down. He's bleeding badly and unconscious.

Dispatcher: Can you tell us where this zebra is?

Caller: He's at the corner of Taur Street and Anubis Lane

Dispatcher: Alright, the EMTs will be on their way.


Meanwhile at the Station

Dispatcher: We have reports of a male zebra down with severe bleeding at the corner of Taur Street and Anubis Lane.

Human EMT: I guess you take this call.

Bison EMT: Yeah, I'll go.

[Savaaha]

I got a giggle out of this

[Rocket]

Fire

Fire Dispatch: For Engine 3, Engine 2, Truck 2, rescue 1, and fire car 2, respond 39th and furry road for a structure fire.

Fire car 1 after arriving on scene: Can we get PD started to this location, we have dragons.

PD Dispatch: 372A, 39th and furry road for arson in progress, there are two dragons breathing fire and causing nearby buildings and other things to catch fire, 39th and furry road.

PD unit: 372A en route.
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Jaws of life required.

Dispatch: 911, what is your emergency?

Caller: um, my tail has become stuck between the door and door frame, and I cannot get it loose, its starting to hurt pretty bad.

Dispatch: Is there anyone there who could help you get it unstuck?

Caller: No.

Dispatch: Ok, we'll have EMS and fire en route.

Caller: Thanks.

EMT to fireman, "we're going to need the jaws of life, he's really stuck."
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Noise Complaint

PD Dispatch: 375, 18th and Wolf avenue for a noise complaint, there's a male red wolf howling at the moon, caller states he's been doing it every night and is sick of the noise, 18th and wolf avenue.

PD unit: 375, does the caller know wolves are supposed to howl at the moon?

PD Dispatch: You'd think they would, they live on wolf avenue, but they want you to go and talk to him anyway.

PD unit: 10-4.

PD Dispatch: And were now getting a call in the same location complaining about a barking dog.

PD unit: 10-4.

[Adrius]

*rofls*

These gave me a pretty good laugh, if I get the chance to think of any or anything i'll post some. Interesting timing considering I start firefighter bootcamp next week monday.

But i'd assume herbivore patients would be more comfortable with herbivore EMT's. It's a bit paralell to the real world, at least in some respects. I've seen females not want male EMT's for various reasons.

As for equipment, they would probably end up with an extremely large AutoPulse (I think that's the brand, not sure though) automated CPR board. At least for well off companies. Otherwise it'd be a lot of muscle going into that CPR call... Interesting to think about though.

[Katra]

I can just see a rabbit jumping on an elephants chest for CPR...

[Kivva]

Moved cuz I'm silly sometimes. ><;;

[Draconium]

Severe Allergic Reaction:

Scene: Chiron High School vs. Anubis High School wrestling match

Dispatcher: 911, what is your emergency?

Caller: My friend suddenly broke out in hives and seems to be having trouble breathing. I mean, he's not unconscious but he's breathing like he ran a few miles but we haven't done any exercise.

Dispatcher: What exactly is your friend?

Caller: He's a 17 year old human male.

Dispatcher: Where is your location?

Caller: We are at the wrestling match at Chiron High.

Dispatcher: We need the address, sir.

Caller: It's at 41 Felidae Road.

Dispatcher: EMS is on route.

5 minutes later

Lion EMT: Hello, my name is Leo. I am an EMT with the Chiron Township EMS. How may I help you?

Victim: I'm having.... difficulty breathing. And these hives!

Lion EMT: Do you have an Epi-Pen?

Victim: *takes deep breath* No. I, I... feel... *takes breath* dizzy. *becomes cyanotic and blood pressure plummets*

Lion EMT: Oh no! He's coded! Transport immediately! Have ALS meet en route!

5 hours later

Scene: Chiron Community Hospital

Boy's Mother: Will he be alright?

Human ER doctor: Ma'am your son has had a life threatening allergic reaction.

Boy's Mother: To what?

Human ER doctor: Um... I know this is awkward but has he been around cats?

Boy's Mother: Yes, he sat next to a cat during today's wrestling match and the EMT who treated him was a lion.

Human ER doctor: That was the problem, he was allergic to the EMT.

Hmm. It looks like allergies would pose an enormous problem for furry EMTs. You could get nailed for negligence if the patient was allergic to you and you treated the patient and the patient died.

I can imagine it:

Zebra EMT: *Looks over patient history* Um. Looks like you'll have to directly treat this patient, I can't touch him.

Iguana EMT: Why?

Zebra EMT: He's allergic to me.


Multiple Envenomation/robbery:

Dispatcher: 911, what is your emergency?

Caller: It looks like a man is laying on the front of the house. I think he's in distress.

Dispatcher: Where is your location?

Caller: 313 Vespine Court.

Dispatcher: EMS is on route.

7 minutes later

Hawk EMT: Hello, sir. I am Falco of the Antieris First Aid Squad. How may I help?

Human EMT: This doesn't look safe. It looks like the door was ripped off.

*VERY loud buzzing penetrates the air*

Hawk EMT: We'll have to call for police backup!

9 minutes later

Beagle police officer: What happened, sir?

Victim: I was robbed.

Beagle police officer: Can you describe the robbers?

Victim: A yellow jacket and a hornet. They stung me until I was unconscious. When I came to I found the house ransacked and the robbers gone.

Beagle police officer: We're going to transfer you to the first aid squad. They will take you to the hospital. You may have been seriously injured by the attackers.

[Lightstep]

Wow, yeah, that would definately be an issue. I'm major allergic to cats (-sob-), so being treated by any feline EMT would be quite bad.

Dispatcher: 911, what is your emergency?

Caller: -screaming-

Dispatcher: Sir, what is your emergency?

Caller: -more screaming-

Dispatcher: EMS and police are on their way, sir. Please remain calm.

-Police and EMS arrive-

Caller (Collie): -on the floor, severely burned and still smoldering-

Tiger EMT: Victim severely burned. Looks to have been a cooking related incident. Long fur and gas stove. 2nd and 3rd degree burns. Stabilizing for immediate transport.

[Rocket]

Ambulance to Hospital, From another 3 little pigs style incident.


EMT in ambulance calling hospital with patient report:

"We are enroute to your facility with a 20 year old male wolf who was trapped under a wall he huffed and puffed over."

"Upon our arrival patient was unconcious, but breathing."

"Patient is now concious, alert, and breathing, complaining of head, neck, and right forepaw pain."

"All stats are normal"

"And we are about 10 minutes out."
 

[Kivva]

You guys are way too good at these, keep em going!

[Draconium]

I'd imagine that safety razors would be more common on ambulances. I mean how could you attach AED pads or ECG leads on fur? Also for trauma cases, you have to cut off the patient's clothes and fur to get to the injury and be able to manage the injury.

Also, I can imagine this line or something from a instructor for furry EMTs:

"In cases of predation, the first priority should be the airway and breathing. Then, all obvious external bleeding should be controlled. Try to ensure that the evidence is preserved. Also, if it is practical, try to have an EMT that is the same species or at least the dietary orientation as the patient. [...]"

Basically if your patient was an cow, try to have a cow EMT or at least an herbivore EMT.


Predation:

Scene: In front of a house at 341 Lapine Court.

Lion EMT: Is it safe to enter now?

Human police officer: Yes. The suspect is in custody.

Lion EMT: *Enters house and goes up to patient* Hello sir, I am an EMT from the Chevalia first aid squad. How may we help?

Patient: I...I... can you please leave me alone?

Lion EMT: Sir, we can't do that. Your attacker may have seriously injured you and the only way we can determine that is if you go to the hospital.

Patient: Um... May I get, a, um..

Lion EMT: *To another EMT* Hazel, why don't you talk to this patient. I'll go get the cot ready.

Rabbit EMT: *Applying direct pressure on a claw wound on the patient's arm* Sir, why don't you tell us happened?

Patient: I...I was attacked by a a coyote. He.. he grabbed me and...and tried to kill me. He *takes a sobbing breath* said... "I want some rabbit tonight." I only survived because I was in the kitchen cutting some greens for a salad and I...I slashed him with the knife I was using.

Rabbit EMT: Sir, we are going to take you to the hospital for treatment. Are you alright with that?

Patient: Yes. J...just make sure that coyote won't strike again.

Yep, Hazel is the rabbit EMT. I named him after the character in Watership Down

[Zing]

Just imagine, a coyote doctor operating on a rabbit. Or a cat giving a mouse CPR.

 

[Cobalt]

I'd imagine that safety razors would be more common on ambulances. I mean how could you attach AED pads or ECG leads on fur?

I know ways to remove chest hair from patients (or in this case fur) without the use of a razor. It just makes the back of the unit smell funny after.

As for the elephant-on-a-backboard one: Sorry, nothing I can do for you.

You'd probably want a set of tail splints on hand as well.