MINISTRY OF INFORMATION COMMUNICATION #1003
8:45 AM
Greetings, Hooftopians, this is Arbutus speaking, Minister of Information for the Ungulate Revolution. I have chosen to make an unscheduled announcement to inform you of a startling but glorious new development in the Ungulate Revolution.
This news comes to us from the front page of
Ungulates of the World, an online revolutionary publication dedicated to solidifying Ungulate rule:
Ungulates account for the vast majority of large herbivores currently on earth. Their influence stretches across nearly every biome, and their indigenous range includes all zoogeographic regions except Antarctica. With human help, ungulates have expanded into nearly every corner of the globe: "Ungulates of the World" indeed!
As I recognize not all readers will have experience decoding revolutionary communiqués of this sort, allow me to summarize:
The humans have pledged allegiance to the Ungulate Revolution. Over the course of nine glorious hours, they have come to see the light and have devoted themselves to helping us expand into every corner of the globe! We are now in undisputed control of all zoogeographic regions except Antarctica, and our influence is spreading further by the second.
The humans, if you are not familiar with them, are... well, first of all, they're kinda funny-looking, but MORE IMPORTANTLY, they are the dominant species on Planet Earth. Their superior brain pans have enabled them to gain unrivaled influence over all the continents of Earth, and now they have dedicated themselves to helping our revolution spread. Powerful allies indeed! With their help, we have confined all uncooperating predators to a frozen island at the bottom of the world, where they will remain until such point as they opt to join our cause.
Join the Ungulate Revolution and the Ungulates United local #416! Be on the right side of history!
***END COMMUNICATION***
