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general furry discussion => lifestylers => Topic started by: Spirit on June 08, 2010, 07:01:19 am
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I'm normally shy and try my best to be just like everybody, but last week I put on my collar and wore it to school. On the first day it attracted lots of attention, but I tried to handle it, and it worked somewhat. The next day... I have no clue what I was thinking, but I wore it again. Not many people asked, but I imagine it'd already spread around via gossip. This is middle school I'm talking about, so I wasn't surprised. The next day I figured it was too late to get my reputation back, so I wore it again just to prove I wasn't a freak AND a scaredy cat. Well, I kind of am a cat, but whatever. That day I was hassled a lot. "Hey, nice collar, dog!" "It really -giggle- matches your -hah- eyes..." and so on. At archery after school it was horrible. Somebody actually said that he heard there was rumors of an insane girl wearing a collar, but he didn't think it could possibly have been me. Yeah...
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If you don't want the harassment and teasing from friends/school, then the best thing to do is not wear the collar. It's as simple as that. ;)
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At least after three days it's not like there's any reason to wear it again.
I'm sure you'd get your reputation back if you don't wear it again. People'll forget and you can say you were just going through a funny phase or something ;)
If you wear it any more it could probably stick...
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If you don't want the harassment and teasing from friends/school, then the best thing to do is not wear the collar. It's as simple as that. ;)
Aye, this. Know your audience....
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The idea that you just try to be like everybody just makes me sad. I hate what school does to people.
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Ah, forget what they say! If your friends don't mind it, don't let anybody else! Why should you care about what anybody you don't care about thinks?
I started wearing my collar, but after a week or two, people stopped caring! Some people even think its cool :D! (Check out the collar thread too!)
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Are you really only 10? Put it away and wait until high school. It is brave of you to wear it again even after the teasing, but I think with your age being what it is, everybody around you (parents, teachers, school administrators) is more likely to worry about why you're wearing it (do your parents know you wore it to class?) and blow this up into something it's not. When you're a teenager, everyone just expects you to be weird. And as Shim says, some people might even think it's cool.
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Are you really only 10?
Agreed. I didn't take that into consideration. Complete change of heart now. I would wait until highschool. Sounds far off, but its worth it.
In elementary school, not only would the students be "on your tail" about it, but teachers would worry too.
Middle school is the same, if a bit worse. I can honestly say, people were MORE socially accepting of whatever it is that you do in elementary school.
Highschool, you'll soon learn NOBODY CARES! If I had tried to do that in middle school? I would have been slaughtered and the head pinned on the wall for all to see and throw bits of food at.
As much as I hate to say it, here goes.
As awesome as it is that you've found the fandom at such a young age, and really, it is awesome, but at your age, your parents and teachers are a big aspect. They can, and probably WILL blow it up into something huge..
(I'm sorry I just posted about how you shouldn't care, and then went on to tell you the opposite)
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In the interest of your own safety, you might want to leave the collar off yes. However I encourage you to find friends who accept you as you are, not as they want you to be. You don't have to pretend to be somebody else to be liked. Don't act like everybody else. Don't pretend to like the same things they like or dislike what they dislike. Be you. Be honest to yourself. The teenage years can be some of the hardest especially in that prison they call school. Someday you'll be free of that, don't let it break you. Good luck.
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As the others are saying, it might be best to save wearing it until high school.
I don't know how things are now, but when I was in high school lots of people wore all sorts of cooky stuff, dog collars included (they weren't even furs, they just liked wearing collars).
I suppose doing odd things becomes more acceptable in high school, since everyone is kinda finding themselves and living out their youth before graduating.
;)
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Are you really only 10?
I didn't know people would find that surprising. :D
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Are you really only 10?
I didn't know people would find that surprising. :D
Considering most people here are in their 20's, yes. Even I'm surprised and I'm 15. Anyway, Its best to leave something big like this until everyone is a bit older, when I found my collar(Its a really old rubber one that used to be part of a shock collar my dad had gotten for my old dog Sasha(RIP), but it doesnt work anymore so I snuck off with it before school) I still only wore it during the second half of the school day, due to a situation that my good buddy Shim went through that got him 6 weeks LOP,(Which is basically you cant use the library and computer lab and you only get a half an hour lunch out of a total 55 minutes) and suspensions(?). Which taught me to be careful about who I wear it around.
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Are you really only 10?
I didn't know people would find that surprising. :D
I never would have guessed. :o
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Are you really only 10?
I didn't know people would find that surprising. :D
Well... now you know. Truthfully, I had no idea. :D
I think I agree with what has been said up to this point. The older you get, the more okay it is to express yourself differently. People can still run into conflict in high school about collars, and that's with a more mature crowd.
As for now, if you can think of other places to wear your collar, that would probably be cool -- with friends, at home (if your parents don't mind), etc.
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Everyone is mostly saying wait until HS.. I'd actually say wait until College. College is very accepting, open, and a very expressive environment. HS.. at least mine.. was far, far from anything of the sort. HS is very cliquish and close-minded, and bullying, peer pressure, rumor spreading, and teasing is at it worst (much more so than elementary or middle school). So.. yeah.. I'd wait until college if you wanted people to leave you alone about it. Though personally I've also noticed that no matter what you do in high school, if people don't generally like you anyway for whatever reason in your control or not, then they will find SOMETHING to always harass you for and it all just depends on who you are really.
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Everyone is mostly saying wait until HS.. I'd actually say wait until College. College is very accepting, open, and a very expressive environment. HS.. at least mine.. was far, far from anything of the sort. HS is very cliquish and close-minded, and bullying, peer pressure, rumor spreading, and teasing is at it worst (much more so than elementary or middle school). So.. yeah.. I'd wait until college if you wanted people to leave you alone about it. Though personally I've also noticed that no matter what you do in high school, if people don't generally like you anyway for whatever reason in your control or not, then they will find SOMETHING to always harass you for and it all just depends on who you are really.
I agree with Brent the Buizel here. Pretty much everything he said here is how I feel about high school. I'm debating whether to wear one when I go to college but if I had a choice between wearing it during high school or during college I would choose college in a heartbeat.
And the reason I think most people were surprised about your age is that most 10 year-olds, at least from my experience, aren't as willing to travel to places outside of the social norms, and I commend you for that.
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Due to a situation that my good buddy Shim went through that got him 6 weeks LOP,(Which is basically you cant use the library and computer lab and you only get a half an hour lunch out of a total 55 minutes) and suspensions(?).
That's so not how it happened :o!
http://forums.furtopia.org/index.php/topic,38232.0.html (That's how it happened)
But regardless, you understand the point that's being brought across.
Given the choice, I would wear a tail as well, the whole "live out your childhood" bit, but my parents flat-out won't let me, so I'll have to wait until college for that :P one. Patience is a virtue I don't have. Maybe you do Spirit, good luck.
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Are you really only 10?
I didn't know people would find that surprising. :D
Yeah, just making sure. Also, my first instinct was to say, like Brent said, skip middle/high school entirely and wait until college. But I'm sure if high school seems like a long way away, college must seem like an eternity.
I read your other thread about wanting to make a fursuit and I think it's so cool that your mom is helping you with that. :3 Just be careful you don't give her the wrong impression about the fandom...if she already has unfavorable ideas about the word "fursuit", she might really worry about the collar thing. I ask again, just for clarification, does she know you wore it to school?
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I've done something like that but a bit less noticable. I just wear dog tags with my fursona's name on it if I need to express that side. I haven't really become serius enough to get a "collar", if you know what I mean.
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I've done something like that but a bit less noticable. I just wear dog tags with my fursona's name on it if I need to express that side. I haven't really become serius enough to get a "collar", if you know what I mean.
You mean just a regular cat/dog collar right? No need for the quotation marks here. :)
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I've done something like that but a bit less noticable. I just wear dog tags with my fursona's name on it if I need to express that side. I haven't really become serius enough to get a "collar", if you know what I mean.
You mean just a regular cat/dog collar right? No need for the quotation marks here. :)
Yeah, I did kinda wonder about those. And what does "if you know what I mean" well... Mean?
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You're pretty brave to do that. ^_^
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You can pull the look off in high school if you are part of the "Freaks and Geeks" Clique. I got away with something even weirder in high school then a simple collar. This is not a joke by the way it is simply the truth. For about three or four weeks maybe even longer during my senior year I went around school wearing a black trench coat (Not weird), a jesters hat (Pretty weird) and a black Zoro mask (Very weird) and referred to myself as 'Death's Jester' (Incredibly weird) The thing is I was so odd to begin with that even the teachers didn't think anything of it, and no one treated me any different. I doubt even my friends remember it now. The point of this story is that the farther along you get in school the more individualistic you can be with in reason depending on who you want to be friends with. My friends were the theater kids and the students in the classes that made advance placement classes look easy.
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WAY TO GO! When i was in middle school, I wore a tail and went through the same thing, and im High School, the ridicule slowly disappears if you wear a tail, ears, or collar, ect proudly. Now I wear my tail everyday and people don't care anymore :)
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People get used to new things rather quickly, even if they are fast to redicule...And they are fast to forget. So,whatever you decide, things will be okay
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When I first read your entry I wanted to tell you to stay the way you are and stick to your beliefs, no matter what others say. I've also tried to change myself to adjust to society but eventually, I came to the conclusion that I'm more happy when I'm just being myself. Feeling this happiness, I also got stronger and that's acknowledged by many people.
Nevertheless, what I've experienced in life is: The younger children/people are, the crueler they behave. So I would also recommend you to wait, while admiring you for your strength you've proved with that. This is more worth than anything else, in the end. :)
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The first word from the last post I saw was "stick" but misread as sick and here I was feeling a bit.... flustered x3
Then I re-read and felt much better.
Honestly, between being conformist and ignored and being different and rejected, i prefer the latter.
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Honestly, between being conformist and ignored and being different and rejected, i prefer the latter.
I second this.
1+ awesome point for you, Serra
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Honestly, between being conformist and ignored and being different and rejected, i prefer the latter.
I second this.
1+ awesome point for you, Serra
I would agree, but that would look like I'm conforming, so I'm just going to jump in a lake. :3 *swims around*
no but really, I agree
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Thought I'd throw in my thoughts.
Being as you're 10 kind of puts you in a weird place.
On one hand, I disagree with the people saying to wait until high school. I mean, if you DO keep wearing your collar, the kids in your grade will become accustomed to it, it'll be normal for them to see you wearing something out of the ordinary. On the other hand, I do agree with the people saying to wait until high school because, as a few mentioned, it may bring up questions from your teachers/counselor/parents.
You may earn a reputation as 'the weird kid', but I think we all earn that at some point in our lives. My partner started wearing a collar in high school, people really didn't bother him too much. We also wore tails our senior year and, yeah, there were some comments, but most people were positive about it or just didn't care. My class even defended me when my home ec. teacher noticed the tail after my wearing it for weeks and told me to remove it because it 'disrupts the class'. They backed me up on the fact that I'd been wearing it and they were already over it.
So people tend to just get used to things that are constants in their environment, really. When we STOPPED wearing our tails to the mall, everyone started asking where they were, as if they'd always been there and we'd cut off a limb or something.
But whatever you decide, it's less about what you wear and more about how you act. Confidence makes anything work. ANYTHING.
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Thank you Nicholai <3
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Seriously, the best response for anyone that asks about it is to just say "I felt like wearing it" I did the same thing with a chain, I had it go around my neck and dangle like a leash and I had a few people grab it and "act" like they were taking me for a walk, however when they saw me laughing with them they just walked away. I know it was dumb of me to do, looking at it in hinde-sight but it was still fun. My brother took the chain back though and I haven't done anything like that again. (Then again, my being a part of the gothic subculture made things easier for those around me to accept it)
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I'm just going to say this, ***DO WHAT YOU WANT***
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I say, if they can't accept who you are, then they are not your true friends. Friends warn you about how people will react to you or help you out of certain dilemmas that they consider themselves experts at.
I personally was a freak from preschool to High School. It wasn't until soft more year did people realize what I was doing was pretty cool. They thought that swords, guns, tanks, sci-fi, history, RPG's and furries were for the freaks of society. Well they can now eat their words.
(also... Your really only 10? Did you draw that? It's amazing! I wish I could draw like that.)
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It's been awhile since the original post, but thought I'd say that people are going to make fun of and harass you anyway, no matter what you do. Might as well go ahead and have fun since they're going to find something to pick at you about anyway. The age of 11 is a bit young to be wearing a collar just because it might elicit concern from parents and teachers. They might think you're wearing a collar due to other negatively perceived things collars can be associated with, like gangs, or things of an adult nature. Don't wear your collar (unless it's for something like Halloween) if it's against school policy, or if you think your parents or teachers might have a problem with it.
Even then, I wouldn't wear it until you're ready to put up with the ridicule. When you think you can not let the teasing get to you, or when you can come up with snarky things to say back to them to make them look like the idiots, you're ready to wear your collar. Something else you can do is just agree with them, or make a joke about what they're teasing you about. It's hard for them to tease you about most things if it doesn't appear to phase you. They'll get bored and move on to someone else who gives them more of a reaction. As to your "friends," if they're making fun of your collar, they're not really your friends, and if they aren't your friends, they don't matter.
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I think I told people at school when I was in 8th grade, i even wore my fursuit to school. for the most part they didnt care, but every school is different and region generally is different. for the most part i live in a small town with a bunch of rich kids who could care less. In high school more people found out even though they found it weird they could care less. But you will always have some who just like to put others down and think they are the best. Just have to realize your better than them and walk away. but id wait until your older, when your younger parents and teachers tend to get involved which is not fun
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... My 4th grade teacher gave me a black suede collar that had rainbow borders around the edges for Christmas. I loved it and no one said anything.
You're school sounds ridiculous I'm sorry. =/
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... My 4th grade teacher gave me a black suede collar that had rainbow borders around the edges for Christmas. I loved it and no one said anything.
You're school sounds ridiculous I'm sorry. =/
Why did she give you a collar?
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... My 4th grade teacher gave me a black suede collar that had rainbow borders around the edges for Christmas. I loved it and no one said anything.
You're school sounds ridiculous I'm sorry. =/
Why did she give you a collar?
I think I was unknowingly the class pet, and she was trying to make a joke out of it. Got no idea haha. xD
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Are you really only 10? Put it away and wait until high school. It is brave of you to wear it again even after the teasing, but I think with your age being what it is, everybody around you (parents, teachers, school administrators) is more likely to worry about why you're wearing it (do your parents know you wore it to class?) and blow this up into something it's not. When you're a teenager, everyone just expects you to be weird. And as Shim says, some people might even think it's cool.
Trust me, your no scaredy cat of anysort if you did this and your only 10! theres nooo way i would have done it at that age. right now, in middle school everyone gossips and anything kids can make fun of they will in two secs. just keep it out of school till highschool, you'll see how much better it works :) to start off you'll be surprised at how many more people there are you never met, but also they tend just to ignore it or assume its a fashion or kind of click
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Are you really only 10? Put it away and wait until high school.
oi vey....im 13 and i wear a tail,ears,well no ears since i ma dragon and wear a dragon tail XD and i actually haev contacts that give me eyes like a dragons(the yjust cover certain parts of your eyes and the yblend in so tha tit dosnt look like ur wearing contacts)!
and i get teased all the time!
but i got teased all the time b4 this XD
its only 2 or 3 people that tease me...jerks....theyre just jealous of me and what i can do!
i should back-0-hand'em -_-
anywasy back on track!
ok then,so your gonna get teased ofr a little while,dont hold off,when they see that sometiems you dont wear it,and someiems you do,then theyll figure that its just like a hobby or a fashion style of yours!
DONT WORRY,THEY JUST DONT UNDERSTAND,KIDS MAKE FUN OF WHAT THE DONT UNDERSTAND!
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I have been trying to find a sage-colored collar, and I luckily have found out my High School has a thriving (Although virtually unheard of) Furry community. I just never cared to search.
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If it isn't against policy, and it doesn't hurt anyone, then I see no reason as to why you should stop. Sticks and stones, love. Words might sting, but they're only words. If you wear it strongly, people view you as strong. I wore a collar for most of my middle school years, and it was an almost constant barrage of teasing at first. But I simply sniffed, put my nose in the air, and wore it like it were made of diamonds. Eventually, they stopped teasing me, because they got bored with "old news". If it makes you happy, and if you really want to wear it, don't let anyone else tell you you can't. Respect your parents and teachers, but at the same time, if they question you, help them try to understand your point of view. Life is full of social restrictions. Just be you, and you will be beautiful.
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This thread is past the six month grave-digging limit, so it has been locked.