Author Topic: Poem About My Crush  (Read 2960 times)

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Offline BassCreator

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Poem About My Crush
« on: June 04, 2014, 04:19:36 pm »
Your eyes are so sharp that they can even pierce a demon's unfeeling heart. Your complexion is so perfect that not even the most skillful make-up artist can improve you. Your face is so beautiful that not even the Sierras can match your pure beauty. Your hair of gold is so pure that not even the finest of goldsmiths can replicate it. I don't know why you hide thou face in your hoodies and jackets, because in your entirety you are beautiful and this will never change as long as you are living until fate decides to bring death unto you.
« Last Edit: June 06, 2014, 05:05:24 pm by BassCreator »

Offline BassCreator

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Re: Poem About My Crush
« Reply #1 on: June 04, 2014, 04:20:08 pm »
 x_x Should I show him this poem? It was 100% original. He doesn't know I feel this way though so I have my doubts.  :-[
« Last Edit: June 04, 2014, 04:36:09 pm by BassCreator »

Offline Sergalicious

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Re: Poem About My Crush
« Reply #2 on: June 04, 2014, 04:45:52 pm »
its a nice poem, however here is one issue, that kind of thing " poems, jokes, etc" dont often work, in my view, ive never tried, but based on what ive been told. poems, jokes, dont work usually. they can, but as far as i know, dont work more then they do work. it would be better to show a said poem after you are together, should that happen. the poem itself is good though.
I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts...
You are someone else
I am still right here


Offline GrayWolf448

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Re: Poem About My Crush
« Reply #3 on: June 04, 2014, 10:56:18 pm »
the poem is good but personally i don't like the words "thou" or "art"

also like korvre said i think it would be better if you showed the poem after you get together. poems seem a little joking to me but it's different for ever person.

Offline BassCreator

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Re: Poem About My Crush
« Reply #4 on: June 06, 2014, 05:00:00 pm »
JD, this was about you. Just putting it out there.

Offline Sergalicious

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Re: Poem About My Crush
« Reply #5 on: June 06, 2014, 05:04:22 pm »
JD, this was about you. Just putting it out there.

didnt expect that. :)
I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts...
You are someone else
I am still right here


Offline BassCreator

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Re: Poem About My Crush
« Reply #6 on: June 06, 2014, 05:05:58 pm »
We talked about it earlier, I have yet to show him. :)

Offline JD

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Re: Poem About My Crush
« Reply #7 on: June 06, 2014, 09:02:19 pm »
I am at a loss for words :-[
That poem was beautiful

Offline GrayWolf448

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Re: Poem About My Crush
« Reply #8 on: June 06, 2014, 10:33:03 pm »
that was a complete surprises to me, i really didnt expect that you to were together ^^

Offline BassCreator

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Re: Poem About My Crush
« Reply #9 on: June 06, 2014, 11:05:16 pm »
It was to be honest for me too, I was a little heartbroken when he asked advice for someone else, but ended up to be me. :-[

Offline BassCreator

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Re: Poem About My Crush
« Reply #10 on: June 06, 2014, 11:34:44 pm »
I am at a loss for words :-[
That poem was beautiful
not beautiful enough to describe you, not nearly enough.

Offline Keitsu

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Re: Poem About My Crush
« Reply #11 on: June 07, 2014, 12:38:13 am »
that was a complete surprises to me, i really didnt expect that you to were together ^^
It was a surprise for me as well ^^