Author Topic: Furry Interviews!  (Read 17370 times)

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Offline Firebreath

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« Reply #50 on: December 08, 2003, 04:15:12 pm »
Actually, wrappings shouldn't be optional, sinr>Sat's a fun part of every present. '<img'>
"There is no problem that cannot be solved with the judicious and precise application of high explosives or heavy ordnance."

Offline firefox_b

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« Reply #51 on: December 09, 2003, 08:22:51 am »
Today's guest on Furry Interviews is the fabulous Wile E. Coyote! -- Welcome to the show, genius!  

(holds up sign) Thanks, Fox!

Oh, great!  First I had speech impaired 'toons, now I've got an elective mute!

(raises sign) But you know I don't talk on my show!

To thine own self be true, then.  Tell us, Wile E., why do you even bother with the Road Runner?-- He looks scrawny!  Not good for more than a mouthful, surely!

(holds sign) It's the principle of the thing, Fox!  He MOCKS me!

He's gotta pay, then! -- Wile E., you spend a lot of money on Acme products in an effort to catch "that blasted beep," don't you?  

(raises sign) Almost every cent I've got.  But they carry more stuff than Sears Roebuck!

Instead of blowing all that dough on Acme, why don't you just take some of your money and simply buy yourself food?

(holds up sign) It wouldn't be the same.  I just know he'd taste better!  And there are principles involved!

Kill it and grill it, eh?  I understand!  Well, Wile E., I'm a big fan of yours.  You know that we carnivores are all rooting you on!  There's a little of you in all of us...we feel your pain!  Tell you what, bro...I'm taking you out for a burger and fries right now, on me!

(letters sign) Ooh!  I'm in!  Make mine rare!

If you ever get the Road Runner, what will you turn your inventive genius to next?

(lifts sign) Well, after all the trouble I've had catching him, I figure that developing warp drive ought to be a snap!

You're truly a coyote ahead of your time, and an inspiration!  keep the faith, bro!  Come on, Burger King is waiting!  Join us again, furends, on Furry Interviews! (exits with Wile E.)

Meep-beep! (enter the Road Runner in a blur of motion.  He hoists up sign) I'm the CEO and chief stockholder of Acme. -- Business is so good!  (sticks out tongue rapidly and repeatedly at viewers, and vanishes in a whirlwind of motion, sending gale-force wind through the studio...)           '<img'>
Long ago in a galaxy far, far away, I got thrown out. -- Now, you're stuck with me!

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Offline beyond the darkness

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« Reply #52 on: December 09, 2003, 08:25:43 am »
*Passes out from laughing so hard*
"Beyond the darkness is a door to the light,
A door to your soul...

When darkness falls
Allow the light of your heart to guide you

Hope burns brighter than any star
And will shine long after the last star dies"


My Furry Code : FMF1 A+ C- D+ H++ M P+ R T++++ W Z- Sm RLA/CT/LW/AT a- cn++ d+ e+ f h* iwf+ j++++ p++ sm--

Offline Russano Greenstripe

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« Reply #53 on: December 09, 2003, 06:16:04 pm »
Actually, it was once explained in one episode why he constantly goes after the Road Runner: each portion of the Road runner has a different flavor. There's vanilla, pork chop, caviar, lime jello, ect.
I like to think
(It has to be! )
Of a cybernetic ecology
where we are free of our labors
and returned to our mammal
brothers and sisters
and all watched over
by machines of loving grace.
          -Richard Brautigan
           (1935-1984)

Offline Katra

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« Reply #54 on: December 09, 2003, 07:56:56 pm »
That was a good one. '<img'>  '<img'>  '<img'>  '<img'>  '<img'>  '<img'>  '<img'>  '<img'>
Richard Reid
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Offline firefox_b

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« Reply #55 on: December 10, 2003, 08:27:43 am »
Today's guest on Furry Interviews is Wolverine of the X-Men! -- Welcome to the show, Logan!

(lights cigar and scowls)  Is this gonna take long?

Err, Logan, this is a non-smoking studio. -- Do you mind putting that out?

(unsheathes Adamantium claws) Yes, I DO mind!

(nervously) Well, then, smoke 'em if you got 'em, I always say!  Blow some my way, big guy!  Now Logan, how long have you had these, well, anger management issues?

(jumps to feet) Issues?!  Are you sayin' I got ISSUES?

(trying to placate)  Easy, big guy, easy!  Now we all know that you were used, that Weapon X business, and you had some heartbreaks in Canada...

You got a problem with CANADA?!  (snarls)

No, no, Canada's a swell place, just great!  I thought all you Canadians were pacifists, gee! -- Let's change the topic, ok?  Logan, you've kind of gone through a renaissance, what with the two X-men movies and all...

Well, at least I didn't have to wear that yellow spandex outfit in them...

Take it from me, Logan, black is your color!  Logan, you're really my kind of guy...animal characteristics and capabilities...I wish I was half the anthro that you are!

Well, eat your heart out...

Heh...now Logan, you're really kind of sweet on Jean Grey, aren't you?

She's Cyclops' woman...for now...  (winks)

You have options, I'm sure. -- Oh my God...Wolverine, look!  It's Sabertooth!

I though I smelled something!  (flings self from chair and out of studio, snarling...the sounds of a fierce battle are heard)

Well, at least they took that outside, for once!  Join us again on Furry Interviews, and remember...Santa is watching (a clear invasion of privacy)!  Bye!   '<img'>
Long ago in a galaxy far, far away, I got thrown out. -- Now, you're stuck with me!

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Offline Russano Greenstripe

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« Reply #56 on: December 10, 2003, 04:44:38 pm »
ROTFLWP '<img'>   '<img'>  '<img'>

Do Inyuasha! Do Inyuasha!
I like to think
(It has to be! )
Of a cybernetic ecology
where we are free of our labors
and returned to our mammal
brothers and sisters
and all watched over
by machines of loving grace.
          -Richard Brautigan
           (1935-1984)

Offline Kale

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« Reply #57 on: December 11, 2003, 07:58:36 am »
*the man with the difibrilator steps from the side lines to revive kale, who appears to have suffered a heart attack from laughing*

Keep these up man, they roxx!
"A picture paints a thousand words, but only a thousand words can paint a thousand diffrent pictures" - unknown

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Offline Ulario

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« Reply #58 on: December 11, 2003, 08:04:24 am »
ROTFLMAO!!!! '<img'> '<img'> '<img'> '<img'>
tracivermeesch.com - Webcomic


Did I say blow it up?
... Lets blow it up!

Offline firefox_b

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« Reply #59 on: December 11, 2003, 08:21:37 am »
Nothing is sacred here.  Today's guest on FI is Little Bo Peep, who has lost her sheep.  --Welcome to the show, Bo Peep!  May I call you "Bo?"

No.

Are the sheep you've lost kinda like your "peeps?"

well, I guess you could say that...

Nice Shepherd's Crook and bloomers, by the way!

Tee hee hee, thank you!

Bo Peep, you've lost your sheep, and you don't know where to find them.  Well, of course you don't know where to find them!  They wouldn't be lost if you did, would they?

Gee, I guess not...

(rolls eyes and reads from poem) "...leave them alone, and they'll come home, 'wagging their tails behind them.'  Well, where else would they be wagging their tails?  In FRONT of them?!

Golly, that would look silly!

To say the least.  You need a new writer, Bo Peep.  See my agent on the way out, OK?

Thanks, Mr. Fox.

Don't mention it.  Now get out of here, OK? -- Twit!  Now our next guest is Old Mother Hubbard, who went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone.  But WHEN she got there, the cupboard was BARE, and so THE POOR DOGGIE HAD NONE!  Mother Hubbard, I'm sorry, but I've got to turn you in...

Oh no...but why?

You're unfit to own a dog.  I've gotta defend canine interests here.  Take her away, boys...(enter uniformed Animal Officers, who lead Mother Hubbard away, sobbing...)

Nursery rhymes...fit for children?--  I don't think so!  Next we'll go after that Little Old Lady Who Lived In A Shoe, and had so many children, she didn't know what to do!  EVER HEAR OF BIRTH CONTROL, LADY?  TRY KEEPING YOUR LEGS CROSSED?  DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO THE FATHERS ARE?  WELFARE PARASITE!  IF YOU BREED 'EM, FEED 'EM! -- Join us again, folks, on "Furry Interviews"...so many twits, so little time...

 '<img'>
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Offline beyond the darkness

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« Reply #60 on: December 11, 2003, 09:23:26 am »
RAOFL  '<img'>  '<img'>  '<img'>  I can't breathe!!!
"Beyond the darkness is a door to the light,
A door to your soul...

When darkness falls
Allow the light of your heart to guide you

Hope burns brighter than any star
And will shine long after the last star dies"


My Furry Code : FMF1 A+ C- D+ H++ M P+ R T++++ W Z- Sm RLA/CT/LW/AT a- cn++ d+ e+ f h* iwf+ j++++ p++ sm--

Offline Chaz_wolf

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« Reply #61 on: December 11, 2003, 01:05:07 pm »
LOL

Keep up the great work Firefox,

And I do agree
Quote
Nursery rhymes...fit for children?--  I don't think so!
Defently not.

I can't wait to read more form you.

Chaz
When you are laying in the gutter, you can see the stars.

Email or message me to chat.
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Offline firefox_b

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« Reply #62 on: December 12, 2003, 08:19:59 am »
Many thanks to all of our continuing viewers!  Today's guest on Furry Interviews is the well-known reindeer, Blitzen. -- Welcome to the show, big guy!-- You are one buff-lookin' reindeer!  What's it like, working for the man in red?

I've known better days.  That Rudolph kid has taken over.  It's Rudolph this, Rudolph that.  You almost never hear about the test of us reindeer any more, and I was here long before Rudy was...

I hear 'ya talkin', Blitzen.  Maybe you should get a union shop going there...

Naw.  Those elves are real Santa suck-ups.  They'd never go along with it (snorts)...


What do you and all of the other reindeer do on your time off?

Well, eat, poop, sleep, yiff, play Deer Avenger, and go elf-bowling.

--Elf bowling?

Yeah.  You set up some pins, and chuck an elf at them.  Great for relieving the old tension!  It's part of the Reindeer Games, you know...

--Reindeer Games?

Yeah, like in the song.  They're pretty wild!  You don't want to know what goes on in the reindeer bars afterwards!  Ever see a bunch of liquored-up reindeer and elves carousing?  The fur really flies, if you catch my drift!  We tried to ban Rudolph from the games, but the punk brought a discrimination suit.

--Discrimination suit?

Yeah.  You know...we used to laugh and call him names.  "Santa's Pet," "Light Bulb Nose," stuff like that.  He claimed that it was harassment, the wimp!

Not politically correct, I'm sure.  So being in Rudolph's shadow isn't good?

Damn straight!  The view never changes unless you're the lead reindeer.  But you'd be amazed what goes on between Rudolph and Vixen.  I'm writing a tell-all book.  --That ought to fix the kid's wagon, that freakin' creation of Montgomery Ward!

Well, put me down for an advance copy!  Maybe we can stop by the reindeer bar sometime.  And get a little rest for your big night, Blizen.  Santa would be lost without you guys!

That's fur-sure! (winks)

Join us next week on FI, furolks, when we lay seige to The Magic Kingdom. -- Bye!   '<img'>
Long ago in a galaxy far, far away, I got thrown out. -- Now, you're stuck with me!

--Be true to your species!--BITE THE POWER!!

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Offline beyond the darkness

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« Reply #63 on: December 12, 2003, 08:27:06 am »
*Bursts out laughing from the thought of someone picking up Legolas from LOTR and throwing him down a bowling alley*
That kinna reminds me of a Cartoon called Robbie the Reindeer. It was a claymation shown at Christmas a couple of years ago in the UK.
"Beyond the darkness is a door to the light,
A door to your soul...

When darkness falls
Allow the light of your heart to guide you

Hope burns brighter than any star
And will shine long after the last star dies"


My Furry Code : FMF1 A+ C- D+ H++ M P+ R T++++ W Z- Sm RLA/CT/LW/AT a- cn++ d+ e+ f h* iwf+ j++++ p++ sm--

Offline firefox_b

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« Reply #64 on: December 15, 2003, 09:45:50 am »
Welcome again to Furry Interviews, where our guest is Opus the Penguin. -- Welcome, Opus!

H'lo! (grins sweetly)

For those of you who may be too young to remember, Opus appeared about ten years ago in a brilliant strip called Bloom County by Berkeley Breathed (I am not making that name up).  The strip originally concerned humans like the teenaged Milo and the lawyer Steve Dallas, but gradually introduced more furry characters.  By far the breakaway character who became the soul of the strip was Opus the Penguin.  When the strip ended to the anguish of its fans, Opus had at least made it back to the Pole, where he was in the loving company of his mother. -- Opus, I never thought I'd see you again!

Yeah.  Isn't life strange?

The new strip called simply Opus mentions that you never adjusted well to penguin life. -- Is that so?

Well, eating smelts isn't as good as eating nachos or pizza.  Plus, would you like to live with your mother indefinitely?  I mean, a visit is ok, but ten years, geez!

I understand.  Love her, but she drives me crazy.  And she's trying to fix you up with a penguin gal who's, if I may say so, ugly as sin...

That's a good description.  It's a sordid tale now being brought up in the strip, which appears on Sundays.

I recommend to all that they try and see you, new fans as well as old friends.  You even had a Xmas special once, if memory serves, centering on your desire to have wings for flying.  When Santa got into a jam, however, you came to his rescue with amazing swimming abilities.

Well, you do what you gotta do. -- Care for some squid?
(extends repulsive-looking object)

Err, no thanks, I just ate. -- Well, Opus, it's great to see you back!  Somewhere, I still have my plushie of you.  I look forward to following your new adventures!  Will we see some other guys from your old strip?

Possibly, but this is a new century.  Are you where you thought you'd be ten years ago?

Afraid not.  A lot can happen in ten years, but you coming back is welcome indeed.  Now if only we could see Calvin and Hobbes again!

Amen to that. (chews on squid)

Ugh! -- Keep that downwind, please!  Join us again, furends, for Furry Interviews!   '<img'>
Long ago in a galaxy far, far away, I got thrown out. -- Now, you're stuck with me!

--Be true to your species!--BITE THE POWER!!

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Offline Kale

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« Reply #65 on: December 15, 2003, 10:06:29 am »
ROFTL, I never saw that strip, but it sounds quite good... got an archive anywheres?
"A picture paints a thousand words, but only a thousand words can paint a thousand diffrent pictures" - unknown

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Offline Jalex Darnco

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« Reply #66 on: December 15, 2003, 10:32:16 am »
Meh dad has a whole bunch of books of the things. ^.^

Offline Chaz_wolf

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« Reply #67 on: December 15, 2003, 12:11:44 pm »
LOL... Great work as always Firefox.

I hope you never run out of ideas.

Chaz
When you are laying in the gutter, you can see the stars.

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Offline firefox_b

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« Reply #68 on: December 16, 2003, 09:01:45 am »
Today's guest on Furry Interviews is Goofy, a Magic Kingdom dweller.  Goofy, here at Furtopia, we don't like to refer to anyone as "Goofy," since it seems so negative and judgemental. -- Who are WE to call you "Goofy?"  It's OK just to be the way that you are!  Can we call you something else?  Something with fewer negative connotations?

Garsh, Goofy is my name!  

Very well, then, err--"Goofy."  Now Goofy, you're a canine.  So is Pluto, Mickey's dog.  So why does Pluto go around on all fours and not speak, whereas you are bipedal, and talk?

Garsh, I don't know.  Walt just made me that way, hahyuck!

You're not the sharpest knife in the drawer, are you, Goofy?  Well then, why do Disney characters like you wear white gloves?

Why do firemen wear red suspenders, hayuck!  I dunno, gee...

Oh my! (aside to audience) Why couldn't I have gotten an interview with Prof. Ludwig Von Drake or Gyro Gearloose instead of this turkey?  Well, let's go for broke.  Goofy, is it true that Walt Disney's body is frozen in cryonic suspension?

Whut's that?

(rolls eyes) Pearls before swine, I guess.  Goofy, do you think Disney's brother Roy will step down from the Disney board?

Huh?

If ignorance is bliss, you must be ecstatic!  Well Goofy, let's take matters into our own hands, here!  I've just got to see what your hands look like under these white gloves...(wrestles with Goofy to remove his gloves)

Halp!  Michael Eisner, halp!

(removes a glove)  Oh my God!  It's another white glove!  Goofy, what are you?!

Whatever Walt wants me to be, hahyuck!

I thought as much.  Join us again on Furry Interviews, furends, when we'll interview someone with at least a double-digit IQ!  Bye!
Long ago in a galaxy far, far away, I got thrown out. -- Now, you're stuck with me!

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Offline firefox_b

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« Reply #69 on: December 17, 2003, 09:22:36 am »
Today's guest on Furry Interviews is none other than the Grinch!  Mr. Grinch, I guess you are furry, even though you are, well, green...

It's not easy being green...

Yeah, so Kermit tells me!  Mr, Grinch, are you still "a mean one?"

Why, no, I've reformed...

Pity.  I kind of liked you rotten.  I found the Whos hard to take for any period of time.

The Whos?

Yes, the Whos...

What?

No, Whos...

Where?

In Whoville...

What ville?

Whoville.

I don't know what you're saying...

No, I don't know is on third.  (stands and bows)  We humbly acknowledge Abbott  and Costello, without whose influence the past minute would not have been possible.  Now, Mr. Grinch, you've met little Cindy Lu Who...

Lu Who?

Don't cry...NOW KNOCK IT OFF!  Mr. Grinch, do you treat Max, your dog, better now than you did in your story?

Why, yes...he even got some of the roast beast I sliced up with the Whos...

Roast beast, Mmmm!  See that he gets some.  You don't want to join Mother Hubbard in the slammer.   Grinchie, did the Jim Carey version of "Grinch" do you justice?

Why, yes!  He brought out about my sad and difficult childhood...

Somebody's MARVELOUS!  And so are you.  Thanks for joining us, Mr. G.

I pity the fool who doesn't!

I said Mr. G, not Mr. T!  Join us again, furolks, on Furry Interviews!  (They share the roast beast, making disgusting slurping sounds...)    '<img'>
Long ago in a galaxy far, far away, I got thrown out. -- Now, you're stuck with me!

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Offline firefox_b

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« Reply #70 on: December 18, 2003, 08:27:56 am »
Today's guest on Furry Interviews is Speedy Gonzalez, the fastest mouse in all Mexico!  Speedy, why don't we see much of you anymore?

Probably,Senor, because I am a politically incorrect and possibly offensive stereotype.

You mean, not ALL Mexicans wear sombreros and speak broken English? -- Darn, there goes another of my cherished beliefs!  Speedy, are you related to Speedy Alka-Seltzer?

Well, I met heem once South of the Border...

Probably because of all that spicey food!  And like you, he is "fast, fast, fast!"

You make a leetle joke, senor, no?  And you show your age if you remember that commercial!

Careful, mouse-breath!  Foxes eat mice, you know...

Ha, you make me laugh!  You could never catch me, senor!

Bet I know someone who could.  I've always wondered, Speedy...in a race between you and the Road Runner, who would win?

Why senor, I would beat the pants off him!

But he doesn't wear any, hehehe!

Now you are making another leetle joke, no?

But pants are optional--you 'toons aren't anatomically correct, right?

Senor, please...this is a PG-rated forum!

Well, we'll call on you again, Speedy, next time we need a "short subject!"

Senor, I will not stay here and be insulted by a gringo!  Andelante! (vanishes in a blur of motion)

Touchy little thing, isn't he?  Still, I kinda like the little shrimp.  Until next time, hasta la vista, baby!  (puts on sunglasses and black leather jacket, and affects Austrian accent)-- I'll be back!!!   (exits)    '<img'>




Long ago in a galaxy far, far away, I got thrown out. -- Now, you're stuck with me!

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Offline Draska

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« Reply #71 on: December 18, 2003, 12:14:51 pm »
Hilarious! Keep 'em coming!  '<img'>
Um....what?

Offline Katra

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« Reply #72 on: December 18, 2003, 01:13:24 pm »
I seem to recall a race between Speedy and the road runner; but not who won. (Wile E and Sylvester were trying to interfere; of course.)

Nice bit on one of my favorite cartoon characters.
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Offline beyond the darkness

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« Reply #73 on: December 18, 2003, 01:51:16 pm »
*Manages to stop laughing*
Very funny!
*Resumes laughing*
"Beyond the darkness is a door to the light,
A door to your soul...

When darkness falls
Allow the light of your heart to guide you

Hope burns brighter than any star
And will shine long after the last star dies"


My Furry Code : FMF1 A+ C- D+ H++ M P+ R T++++ W Z- Sm RLA/CT/LW/AT a- cn++ d+ e+ f h* iwf+ j++++ p++ sm--

Offline firefox_b

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Furry Interviews!
« Reply #74 on: December 19, 2003, 08:55:39 am »
Today's guest on Furry Interviews is the Predator from the movies of the same name!  Mr. Predator, I'm not sure if you're furry or what.  You're certainly not cuddly or overly-photogenic. -- What exactly are you?

I'm a hunter from a superior race.  What the h*** are you?

Well SOMEONE got up on the wrong side of bed today!  I'm a red fox, if it's any concern of yours.  Predator, why do you come here to hunt?

Human prey poses sufficient challenge to interest me...

Well, I'm a hunter, too.  Yep, no mousies, squirrels, or bunnies are safe when I'm around!  But why do you alien guys have to come here to hunt?  

Your prattle annoys me.  I'll keep your skull as a trophy...

I don't think so, I'm still using it.  Besides, I've got friends...
(The studio doors slam open, revealing a large, muscular man)  --It's Ahhr-nold!  

(Arnold)  I'm back.  (A large log on ropes swings across the stage, pinning the Predator beneath it.  Mortally wounded, he activates a self-destruct device on his arm, and begins laughing, a terrible sound...)

S*** happens, hahahahaha, AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(Arnold to Fox) Come with me if you vant to liff...

Count me in!  (They run; a small nuclear device detonates, destroying the studio and flinging them dozens of feet.  Covered with dust, Fox coughs weakly and struggles to speak)  --is he--is the Predator dead?

(Arnold)  Ya. -- Terminated!

Well, furolks, the Predator may have killed off Jesse Ventura, the former governor of Minnesota in his movie, but there ain't no one who can beat THE GOVERNOR OF CALIFORNIA! -- The only bulletproof Kennedy!  Join us next week on Furry Interviews! -- Yay!!!! (hugs Arnold, who being a cybernetic organism, does not respond but looks extremely cool in his sunglasses and black leather jacket...)   '<img'>
Long ago in a galaxy far, far away, I got thrown out. -- Now, you're stuck with me!

--Be true to your species!--BITE THE POWER!!

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