Author Topic: My first Furry story  (Read 931 times)

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Offline Mystravyn

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My first Furry story
« on: April 23, 2004, 10:20:23 am »
This is a story I'm working on.  The main character is my fursona, Mystravyn (or Mystie).  I've done some fiction writing before, but this is my first furry story.  I don't have a title yet.  Anyway, here's the first chapter:

Mystravyn threw on a pink tanktop and skirt and flew out the door, her long red hair and long white ears flowing behind her.  She hoped that Digger was still out there waiting for her.  Digger was a darker bunny than Mystie was, but lighter in personality.  Actually, he could be a flat out buffoon sometimes, but that was part of why she loved him so much.  She was almost deadly serious most of the time.  She tried to have a sense of humor about things, but she always ended up caught in the trap of morosity somehow.  And the fact that Digger was someone else's mate just seemed to cement Mystie's lot in life as always being miserable.

Digger was still waiting.  Mystie gave a short prayer of thanks to the gods and waved.  His mate was out of town for another week, and Mystie was all too eager to take advantage of that time to get Digger all to herself.

His gray furred body was clothed in a black t-shirt and dark blue jeans.  He waved back and ran a hand through his short black hair.  "You know you're late, right?"

"Yeah, I...uh...

"Oh, don't worry about it.  I'm just playin'."

"Heh, of course.  Well, what did you want to do?"

"I don't know.  Maybe get some food and then go for a walk?"

Mystie couldn't think of anything she would rather do than take a walk with Digger.  Well, she thought of a few things, but none of them could be done in public.

As they were making their way to the restaurant they were to eat at, Mystie looked over at Digger.  "What do you see in her?"

"Who?  Oh, HER!  Well, I see a pretty kitty who always loves to laugh."

"Is that why you never wanted to be my mate?  Because I don't laugh that much?"

"Eh?  Um...no.  You wanted to be MY mate?"

Mystie stopped right there.  Her legs were shaking and she felt like she was going to collapse.  "You...you...never knew?"

"No, I really didn't.  But I don't think I would have wanted to had I known."

"You what?"

"I enjoy your friendship.  I don't want to ruin that."

They continued walking.  They ended up at the restaurant and got a table.  The meal was silent.  Digger just looked at his food and seemed to be only able to eat very little of it.

"Mystie, I need to go."  He got up and turned toward the exit."

"Wh..why?"  Tears started to roll down her cheeks.

"Sorry, I'll talk to you later."  He left his money on the table and walked out of the restaurant.  Mystie sat there for while by herself, crying.  She wondered how she could have been so stupid to tell Digger her true feelings for him.  She should have known that she never really had given him any signs that she was interested in him for anything but friendship.  She paid for their food and slowly left the restaurant, looking around at what seemed to be a room full of happy couples as she did.




Follow the white rabbit...

Offline Loganberry

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My first Furry story
« Reply #1 on: April 23, 2004, 08:26:44 pm »
I like this a good deal. Quite nicely paced, and with characters who appear real. Made me smile a few times, too - at this, for example:

Mystie couldn't think of anything she would rather do than take a walk with Digger.  Well, she thought of a few things, but none of them could be done in public.

Heh. '<img'>

I think at the end I'd have started a new para after "...walked out of the restaurant," since it's quite a dramatic event and probably could do with a pause to let the reader take that in.

As I say, though, this is a really good start. And it has bunnies in it. Never a bad idea. '<img'>




Hazel considered this lot briefly, but it beat him.

Offline Mystravyn

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My first Furry story
« Reply #2 on: April 24, 2004, 03:23:31 am »
Thanks for the comments!  '<img'> Here is the next part:

Mystie got back home and didn't want to do anything but sit on her couch and mope.  She felt like her life had taken an all-time low turn.  She thought about how she could at least still be spending time with Digger if she hadn't opened her dumb mouth.  Now she was sure that he hated her for being so selfish and questioning his love for what's-her-name.  What was her name?  Ah, who cares?  Her name might as well have been "brick wall", since that's what was now between her and Digger, and probably for good.  It seemed plainly obvious that she was just going to have to cry herself to sleep, which is exactly what she ended up doing.

A knock on her door woke her up.  She slowly got up off the couch and realized she was quite sore and should probably had gone to her bed to do her crying and sleeping.  She opened the door, and standing in the doorway, with a rose in his hand, was Digger.

Mystie just stood there and stared.  She really couldn't believe that he was standing right there in front of her.  She had convinced herself that she had ruined anything they had, as friends or otherwise.

"Well, are you just going to let me stand out here like an idiot?"

Mystie chuckled.  Something that she would not have pictured herself doing a few hours earlier.  "Oh, sorry.  Please come in."

Digger enter her house and Mystie shut the door behind him.  He smiled and held the rose out to her, and she took it.  She put it to her nose and smelled the fresh flower.  It made her forget all about her recent anguish.  She motioned Digger to the couch, and they sat down beside each other.

There were a few minutes of ackward silence, which Digger finally broke.

"I'm really, really sorry about the way I walked out on you at the restaurant.  I hope you forgive me."

"Of course I do.  I'm sorry for spooking you like I did.  I value our friendship too, and I would rather have that with you than nothing."

"Well, I wasn't completely honest with you earlier.  I...uh..."

"You...what?"

"I wanted to be your mate, too.  But I didn't think you were interested, and I was too afraid to ask you directly.  See, you were always so straight forward about everything else, that I thought that if you were interested, you just would have come out and told me."

"I guess that was the only thing I couldn't be direct about, because it's the one thing that meant the most to me.  I thought that if I approached you, and you weren't interested, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if anything happened to our friendship as a result.  But it looks like we were both wrong."

"Yeah, Mystie.  I suppose so."  He inched his way closer to her on the couch.

Mysties ears perked up and she looked away, afraid that her eyes would betray her emotions.  Digger reached out and turned her head back toward his, and reached in with a big, long kiss.  Before she realized it, they were laying on the couch instead of sitting, him on top of her.  The things that Mystie had been thinking about that she would rather do with him than take a walk came to sudden, blissful fruition.
Follow the white rabbit...

Offline Blade Dance

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My first Furry story
« Reply #3 on: April 30, 2004, 02:44:01 pm »
Very nice, I like the connection of their past friendship. Look forward to reading more!
~Jahmus~ The Jedi Fur

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