Author Topic: Paws's short story challenge  (Read 17140 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline typingwithpaws

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Male
  • Posts: 334
Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #100 on: March 01, 2013, 11:55:35 pm »
For my own benefit and others i am not going to write another instalment of the current story track today.
Instead I am going to write up some character information on my commonly used sets as they are from vastly different storylines.
hopefully it'll help me remember who does what  (:


Krum:

Krum is a heavily built single man often shown with a beard in his previous years until recently. Once a high ranking officer in the armed forces and later an operative for the Australian Federal Police (our version of the FBI) he is now 'officially' retired.

Forced back into action by his friend Nathan to aid Shaun in a mission, he now travels with these two individuals as a weapons expert and general intelligence due to his past training.

Like Shaun he is skilled in mechanical devices. This helps him repair, modify and repair various pieces of machinery from aircraft to cars and anything else that 'ticks'.
He has a loving nature at his core dispute his overly manly outer shell, displaying gruff behaviour and carelessness at small issues.



Sophie:
Sophie originally was a college graduate who had just started working full-time at a veterinary clinic when the arrival of an injured fox turned her world on its end. A special serum given to her as a baby by Dr. Parva, who also cultivated her education and other medical aspects of her life, combined with the bite of the injured fox mutated her DNA.

Now she lives her life trapped in the body of the vulpine as Shaun does a wolf. This has impacted her life greatly. Loss of family was the hardest, on the morning of the transformations discovery she was held to gunpoint by her step-father while her mother watched her try to talk her way out of the situation. Her limited school friends are miles away now and have not been in contact. The only immediate help she received was from her former employer who has since been out of contact, presumably murdered by Parva.

Soon after her second ordeal with Parva at the laboratory, from which Krum, Nathan and Shaun rescued her from, some telekinetic abilities became apparent. Parva claims these to be given as an experimental second stage to the serum. She is working to control and understand these abilities during her various adventures. This, coupled with her heightened sense of smell, hearing and sight prove very useful to assisting the team with their tasks.

Sophie displays a shy but self confident attitude. Nothing gets in her way when she is motivated to complete the task at hand. Most other times she is a quiet achiever. watching and observing the men as they blunder about with their activities. This allows her to make some very well-thought corrections at times. She has also grown very close to Shaun through the entire ordeal.

All in all she is not one to annoy or mess with, a level headed thinker but also a fantastic person to get to know, I recommend meeting up with her if you ever get the chance. Talking with a fox is an experience not to miss out on if you can avoid it.



Nathan:
Nathan is an old school friend of Shaun's. Sharing Krum's love of guns and other weapons he often supplies cover fire or long range accuracy for the team when it comes to their new missions. Employed with the rest of the team at the institution he is rash minded and quick to jump to conclusions. However, like Sophie, remains quiet for much of the time and prefers to stand guard.
Nathan despite this is loyal to the group and would not let anything get between himself and them. NOTHING at all.



Shaun:
Shaun is based with the personal tributes of myself but gifted with less of the flaws.
He is highly interested in mechanical work and the design aspects of new inventions. Like Krum is well suited in modification of various machinery and devices, has an interest in firearms but not in their use. Has little experience in their utilisation but the keener sight he has been gifted with is of great aid to his marksmanship. Lets face it, hitting a padlock with a shotgun slug at 150 yards is no small achievment. Dislikes hunting in non-practical ways but when angry at a particular person has no problems in making them suffer in a way porportunate to their crime.

Like Sophie Shaun was caught up in Dr Parva's experiments at a later stage. Having had a similar serum injected into him before a trip to north America. It was here that he was scratched by a Grey wolf during a pack encounter while camping in the mountains. The mutation was well timed by the Doctor and occurred not long after Sophie underwent her own metamorphosis. The result, Shaun's body resembles that very closely to a grey wolf. Being often mistaken for a large dog he is the perfect spy for the operations carried out by the team. Able to sneak into areas with Sophie and covertly take pictures or carry out tasks. Their heightened sense of smell, hearing and eyesight assist greatly in this task.

They have both grown close over their time spent together but as of this time, keep it quiet and get on with the job at hand. Though Shaun can often be found sleeping curled up with her in the corner somewhere.




William:
William is not from this dimension, nor from this time period. Set a few hundred years in the future in a world dominated by Anthropomorphic animals we find our character starting out as a low ranking officer of high loyalty in the armed forces. During a war with the rebels he was in an accident involving a large explosion. Subsequently he was killed. A project was put into commission, to create the first fully autonomous being. So with information downloaded from what remained of Williams biological self, a fully robotic version of his former self was created. No biological components remain yet he feels the same as he did before. It took some time to realise the truth about what had happened to him. Everything from touch, taste, sound, and hearing have been replicated within his computerised brain but with some improvements here and there. He is equip with night vision and infra-red. A colour matching faux fur covering that when activated renders William practically invisible to the casual eye, but under normal circumstances matches his original Fennec fox colour scheme.
He is faster, stronger and keener of mind than he was before yet still retains the usual emotions of fear, happyness, sadness and any other emotions and characteristics he had originally.

He is married to Marianne and has fathered two children, Sasha and her brother Hugh. Together they operate as a happy family whenever William requests time to go home and see them. Let's face it, who is going to argue with a person like this. However William is of a practical mindset and would only do such a thing as request for time off when missions are less important or his skills were not of up most importance.

William is also fond of showing off, especially with his new
William relates well to the other three he is currently travelling with due to their personalities matching so well but It is vital for him to return home to his own world to be with his own kind and family again.




So there you have it...a rough introduction to the characters, i KNOW i have missed a lot of stuff but my patience ran low  :P

constructive criticism always welcome on my work  ;)

paws
Down, never out!

Offline Old Rabbit

  • Species: Rabbit Artist
  • Happy Holidays.
  • *
  • Male
  • Posts: 15109
    • Art by Oldrabbit
Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #101 on: March 03, 2013, 11:01:01 am »
Looks like you have a good handle on your characters Types.

:orbunny:



Avatar drawn by me.
oldrabbit.com


Offline typingwithpaws

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Male
  • Posts: 334
Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #102 on: March 24, 2013, 03:32:34 am »
Well i have an artist under way with a picture of all the characters in this mini series. pretty exited about that  :P

*cracks nuckles*
right...have about an hour of usable writing time....i hope the words flow as i have no idea how this is going to transpire! I'll just wing it and see what happens.




The commander's office was rather dingy, some thin light filtered in through the closed vertical blinds when they moved in the light breeze from the open window.
My eyes had no issue as per usual adjusting to the low light, even night vision was not required so that was a slight shock. Krum was sitting to my left next to the others, he looked very menacing in this setting. Or at least menacing is how i would interpret it. Strange creatures these 'humans'.

Whilst the others had their discussion with the wide eyed commanding officer I just sat and did a bit of multi-tasking. I designated one subroutine to listen to the conversation so I would know what was going on if questioned. And while I did this I tried to remember some old notes from my college physics class regarding black holes and wormholes. There had to be an answer to my situation. Some way had to exist to re-activate that device and allow me to get home.
Not thinking about my family would probably be the best way to stay calm in this predicament, but I could not help glancing at a mental image of them I had stored.

Directing some more attention to the conversation at hand, I overheard Sophie and Shaun together trying to explain my reason for being here and the concept of me not being of 'living' tissue.

"So leme get this straight. This guy is an alien robot from another dimension who randomly arrived here due to some myan portal?"

"Yes Keegan! when you say it like that though it hardly adds any credit to the story" growled Shaun, breaking formality and addressing the commander by his first name.

"You will be wise not to speak to me like that in the future" threatened Keegan.

"What are you going to do about it?" Snarled Sophie.

"Oi! Cut it out you two!" shouted Krum. "Look, all we need is a few days to sort out where the heck he came from and how we're gonna help him get back. Will you give us some time with the science nerds tomorrow? I wanna see if Jasper has anything to add to the subject. He and I both went to school together and I know he's pretty switched on with quantum physics."

"Ok. You've got it. But any disturbance on my base caused by you five will not be tolerated, you might be highly respected people in your own field back home but here I don't even wanna know about the mess you're stuck in. Just fix it and get out of here" ordered Keegan sternly.

I really did not want to be there right now. It was just like that awkward moment when your best friend is arguing with their partner. Not a good feeling and not for the first time I had to fight the urge to activate my camouflage to simply disappear. Cowardly I know compared with the other issues I have been confronted with, Tanks, guns, mines. The works but none of those had me worked up like this heated discussion in this strange room with strange animals and people. At the very least Sophie and Shaun looked a little like my own people so that added a form of comfort to the predicament.

We all got up and left the room, Krum and Nathan announced they were 'buggering off' to the showers. I had no idea what they meant but they left after the announcement leaving me with the two feral canines.

"I'm sick of this. You wanna go do something active for a while William?" Asked Sophie.

"Of course! What did you have in mind?" I replied.

"Well as immature as it may sound, there is a beach about five minutes run north from here and you could throw some sticks or something for Shaun and I to chase."

"Hey! i'm no bloomin' dog!" retorted Shaun.

"Oh shut up you, you and I both know you had a good time the last time we did it."

"Yeah ok, you've got me." concluded Shaun, pawing at the ground with his head hung in what looked like embarrassment.

"Well then sounds like a plan. Come on William, hopefully a bit of a game like this will ease those circuits of yours and help us all think of a way to get you home" Sophie said with a smile.

I nodded in agreement and followed them out the door. Making new friends was always a terrific thing to do. Regardless of gender or race or in this case, species and dimension. It was a simple thing that I have not really had much time to do since my involvement in the military and proceeding my accident. My time just seems to get filled with family and the few friends I already have and failing that, sleep.

But sleep is such a waste of time these days, I only need about ten minutes to shut down and re-boot to have everything working in tip top shape again. This also makes me wonder if I will ever see these four loving, generous people ever again if we do indeed find a way to get myself back home.


The game we played, 'Fetch' I think it was called, was so comically simple I almost laughed. All I had to do is throw a stick as far down the beach as I could and Sophie and Shaun would race after it, competing to get to it first. After half an hour they both returned panting heavily and collapsed in the sand due to exhaustion. I gave them all the time they needed to recover and recuperate. Tomorrow hopefully would wield a chance to figure out the answer to the issue, as long as these 'scientists' were not obsessed with my own design. I had already firmly decided not to share any of my technology with them on moral grounds. Who knows what it may do to their society, and given the nasty nature of Commander Keegan, the plans it would help complete in the wrong hands. Power is a terrible thing and I was not about to let a race of slightly more primitive people be leapfrogged into an age with all the issues and problems of my own.

I walked back to the base with the fox and wolf where we found Krum and Nathan snoozing in one of the accommodation rooms set aside for us upon our arrival.

Shaun said goodnight to me and wandered into a vacant area of the room, Sophie smiled at me, I thought I heard her voice in my head somehow saying 'good night friend' also but I cannot be sure.

Krum was now snoring heavily so I turned down my ears sensitivity a little and settled into a cushy chair, alone with my thoughts.
I miss you Marianne.







there...one hour exactly. now it's bed time. this story must be heading towards resolution stage now, then i'll have to figure out a way to have a slight complication then wrap it all up.
If you're reading this, hope you enjoyed. because it's a bonus for me if you did, i only write this rubbish to entertain myself  ;)
Down, never out!

Offline Old Rabbit

  • Species: Rabbit Artist
  • Happy Holidays.
  • *
  • Male
  • Posts: 15109
    • Art by Oldrabbit
Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #103 on: March 25, 2013, 09:24:29 am »
Nicely done for a hours work Types..


Writing should be entertaining for the author. Writing about
something that was boring or a chore would likely make the
read boring too..

Thanks for sharing :orbunny:
Avatar drawn by me.
oldrabbit.com


Offline Leeseetsa

  • Hero Member
  • La, la, la~
  • *****
  • Female
  • Posts: 1942
Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #104 on: March 27, 2013, 03:58:55 am »
Nicely done, paws! :)
Hey, I have a DA:
http://leeseetsa.deviantart.com/

Never give up, everything you do has a reason; Never feel alone, there's always something there with you; Never feel defeated and dim, there's always a spark inside you

Offline typingwithpaws

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Male
  • Posts: 334
Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #105 on: April 04, 2013, 04:07:23 am »
"No! I don't want to jump any more! can't we just land please!?" screamed the researcher.

The Chinook helicopter had reached the jump point above the landing zone, some 10 clicks from the Mayan city.

Krum shook his head and jumped out of the rear of the aircraft, followed by Nathan performing acrobatics as he did so.
Shaun rolled his eyes and stepped off the ramp with Sophie close behind.

The 'brains' they had brought with them consisting of two scientists and the researcher were being troublesome. They had all volunteered for this mission to seek further knowledge on the portal device supposedly hidden there.
The two scientists, clad in camouflage gear and struggling with their heavy backpacks stood precariously on the edge of the loading ramp, white with fear but unlike their comrade were keeping totally silent.

William had had enough. He grabbed the researcher by the straps of his backpack and threw him hard toward the rear door. The man flew past the other two, throwing them off balance and causing them to fall.

William peered over the edge to watch them dwindle into small specs as they fell before they all deployed their chutes.

William then banged on the fuselage twice to signal the pilot that he was the last one out then dived out himself. He angled himself to gain some extra speed and hopefully catch up to the others.



Several hours later, after untangling one of the scientists from a tree he had landed in, they were approaching the city.

"There it is" whispered Shaun. "The portal thingie you came out of William."

"Yeah but finding that was the easy bit, I've got at least thirty baddies in sight" commented Nathan, sighting down his rifle scope.

"Surely that force would be an easy wipe away for you?" Asked one of the scientists, looking up at the android.

"We have a saying where I come from; The easier something looks, the harder it is." replied William.

Krum chucked softly, "Sounds a lot like Murphies law to me."

"They seem to have some kind of power source hooked up to the ring" mentioned Sophie. "But we'll need to get closer for anyone else to see it."

"How many can you hit without raising the alarm?" Krum asked Nathan.

"Ten" He replied confidently, screwing a suppressor to the rifle barrel. "Any rough idea on the range?"

"1,640 feet to the centre of dirt circle on the ground, wind speed 5 knots at target" Answered William.

"You are handy to have around arn't you?" said Nathan then settled down for the shots.

"Can you get any stragglers Shaun with your pistol?" Asked Nathan.

"Not a chance, last time was different" answered Shaun honestly.

"I might be able to offer some assistance with that too" offered William.

Shaun got up and handed William the pistol he had been issued with. William accepted it and looked it over, analyzing it as he went. Data streamed across his mind's eye displaying specifications, use instructions and notable features. It was also marked in his database as 'Vintage'. Due to this information, when he mentioned the weapons age Krum protested and explained that it was brand new and only designed in 1980. He cocked the breach open and looked inside the barrel, his on-board computer taking on data on angles and other trigonometry.

Shaun then handed William the silencer after fishing it out of his backpack with Krum's help. William installed it and raised the weapon, his targeting system automatically activated, displaying cross hairs and range data across his view point negating the need for the iron sights.

"Are you ready?" asked Nathan, calmly.

"15 armed targets in sight, the left most ones"

"Good, fire when ready."

The air was filled with a strange pressure sensation as each shot was fired, the noise was almost eerie.
The only other noise that could be heard was birds chirping, leaves rustling and the steady click-clack of Nathan's bolt as he cycled quickly between each shot.
Within eight seconds, fifteen bullets had found their targets while the remaining four seconds were spent as Nathan picked off two remaining guards.

With only five people left on site all of a sudden they panicked, running around and shooting wildly, two of them getting caught up in the friendly fire while the other three fled to the nearest jeep and sped off.

"Lets move" whispered Krum loudly, grabbing his bag and moving off into the dense scrub.

Nathan packed up his gear and tipped his hat at William, "Nice shots" he complimented then followed Krum and the others down the rough trail.
William shepherded the three scientists in front of him.

Forging through the thick forest took longer than expected as it took over thirty minutes to traverse the distance and arrive in the centre of the clearing.
Sophie and Shaun performed a quick run around the area before returning with the all clear signal. The trio of 'white coats' made a bee line for the device that appeared to be connected to the old Mayan structure made from rock and metal.

Three triangular prongs lined a stone circle with various glyphs around the outer rim.
The hours passed slowly while they all brainstormed ideas about how the device worked. Then Nathan, taking a small break from perimeter duty noticed something odd behind some thick vines. Curiosity got the better of him and he went over and pulled the vines away. There were two posts, each about 3 feet high and 8 inches square with a hand print in each.
Nathan swung his rifle on its strap to his back and placed each hand on the hand-shaped depressions. Nothing happened for a few seconds then a huge bolt of energy coursed through his arms and threw him back toward the others.

Nathan yelled and shook off the tingling in his arms while the others crowded around him asking what had happened. "Agh that prick bites!" was his only reply.
William and the scientists went to investigate the two mysterious pillars. William analysed them and looked for any give away details of hidden circuitry or other clues as to the cause of the shock. He found nothing, however the scientists brushed aside some soiling to reveal yet more glyphs. These ones appeared to be glowing with a dull blue-green energy.

"The....one.....power.....mind" read out the researcher, "That's all I can make out, the rest is too damaged to properly read."

The others went back to the machinery that the gurella forces had been setting up and fiddled with some of the buttons.

A crack echoed through the valley and one of the scientists fell to the ground.
Everyone jumped to their feet. "RUN!" bellowed Krum.

They all bolted for a small outcropping of shrubs except for William, who activated his camouflage and melted into the shadows. Drawing Shaun's sidearm he scanned the hillside for where the shot had originated from. Cycling through his vision spectrum's revealed a massive shock. The sniper had been located and he had no issues dispatching that inconvenience but the problem lay within the hundreds of human heat signatures surrounding the clearing!
He ran toward the others, taking care not to rustle any of the trees on his way past to give away his position. When behind them he whispered; "They're everywhere, in the tree's!"

"Crap!" cursed Krum under his breath.
"I have an idea" said Sophie, turning to look at William, then back at Shaun with worry in her eyes. "But I need to get to that pannel, is the machine powered up?" she asked the remaining scientists.

"du du du y y y y yes" one of them stuttered out.

"William, can you shield me? I only need a few seconds to get to those pillars." she said pointing to the hand-printed pillars.

"Of course but even I'm not completely bullet proof" he responded.

"Good, lets go. Right now!" she said, giving Shaun one last look.

Krum and Nathan began to protest but instead provided cover fire, Nathan firing shots as fast as he could while Krum lobbed an assortment of explosive devices toward the advancing army.
The two advanced from shrub to cover as often as possible, William had disengaged his cloak to draw the fire while Sophie slunk along in his shadow.

There was a metallic 'plink' noise and Williams left arm went limp. "ARGH!!!" he yelled out as the damaged components replicated a simulation of 'pain'.
The two reached the pillars and William reached out with his remaining good arm and using all his remaining strength pulled the massive block of granite close to them, providing them with cover from the bullets.

Sophie stood up and placed her front paws on the two corresponding hand prints. 'I hope this works' she thought to herself and concentrated. She visualized what Williams would was like from the stories he had told over the previous days, how life would be like. She had no idea what she was doing but something felt right.
William noticed the pillars glowing bright green now and a low hum resonating in the air. Sophie strained and grunted lightly, trying to keep the image in her head. She was beginning to feel rather tired for some reason.
Clouds seemed to gather out of no where and quickly thickened to dark thunderheads, spewing lightening and starting small forest fires here and there.
The air in the big stone ring with the triangles blurred and mixed the light together, swirling into a mess of color before turning white. Static electricity charged the air and made their fur stand on end. The portal was now a blinding white light against the dark and stormy background.

"GO!" shouted Sophie over the roar of the storm. "GO NOW!"
William hesitated for a moment, concerned for the weakening fox but then logic kicked in. If he stayed any longer she may get worse so it would be unwise to dawdle in a situation such as this.

William quickly moved out from behind the rock and ran toward the portal. More bullets flew in every direction, another hit his back somewhere causing his camouflage to flicker on and off unexpectedly. He reached the white wall of energy and dove through without hesitating, all his senses were overloaded. An almost glorious feeling then everything went black. Silence.










well it feels rushed but it IS a short story challenge after all. Stay tuned as i have at least one more installment and wrap up for this mini series. also the artwork for the characters should arrive sometime either this week or next  :D

paws.
Down, never out!

Offline flatout442

  • Sr. Member
  • ...
  • ****
  • Male
  • Posts: 275
Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #106 on: April 27, 2013, 07:32:36 pm »
Read the whole thread, I loved it!! Heres my suggestion, revenge.
One simply does not exist without bacon.

Offline Old Rabbit

  • Species: Rabbit Artist
  • Happy Holidays.
  • *
  • Male
  • Posts: 15109
    • Art by Oldrabbit
Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #107 on: April 29, 2013, 10:08:16 am »
Yes it turned out well. I would have said something sooner, but I missed
your last post.

Thanks for sharing. :orbunny:
Avatar drawn by me.
oldrabbit.com


Offline typingwithpaws

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Male
  • Posts: 334
Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #108 on: May 02, 2013, 01:33:56 am »
this 'technically' belongs in the arty thread...but its 100% relevant to this soooo....

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10502380/

i'll get round to doing the last chapter for this storyline soon, going nuts organising stuff though at the moment. just got back from a con...you know what it's like.

TWP
Down, never out!

Offline flatout442

  • Sr. Member
  • ...
  • ****
  • Male
  • Posts: 275
Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #109 on: May 02, 2013, 07:11:46 pm »
Nathan looks like a stereotypical Texan, has a gun and a cowboy hat.


Can't wait for the ending!!
« Last Edit: May 02, 2013, 07:15:26 pm by flatout442 »
One simply does not exist without bacon.

Offline typingwithpaws

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Male
  • Posts: 334
Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #110 on: May 03, 2013, 04:45:15 am »
"Come on! It'll be here any minute now!" yelled Krum, throwing his arms around to keep the thick scrub from whipping his face.

Bullets zinged through the bush as the group made their best effort to escape the advancing army of troops, bullets embedding themselves in trees and ricocheting off rocks.
Nathan had Sophie slung over his shoulder. After activating the portal device she was completely exhausted. Shaun was bringing up the rear, weaving between the branches on all fours.

"Why the hell didn't you wait till we were out of the valley before requesting air support!?" yelled Nathan over the commotion.

Krum didn't reply and instead continued powering onward. A roar of jet engines pierced the evening sky, the sudden noise change caused the gunfire to halt. The four paused to listen.

"Crap...GO GO GO!" yelled Shaun.
"Over there!" said Nathan, pointing at a small outcropping of rocks leading into a semi cave like building, possibly the ruins of a Mayan watch tower.

They rushed inside, Krum tripped over a stone and falling flat on his face before Shaun grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt with his powerful jaw and dragged him inside.
Dazed, Krum got up and thanked Shaun then checked his watch.
"Three, two....one"

There was an orange flash of light followed by an earsplitting rumble that shook the earth. Shaun and Sophie whined and covered their ears with their paws while Krum and Nathan covered their own and adopted evil grins.

"Air strike suckers!" yelled Nathan.
"I love the smell of Napalm in the morning!" finished Krum, laughing almost maniacally.





twenty four hours later saw the three back at the base accommodation. The group entered the dorm set aside for post mission operatives, Krum collapsed into the couch opposite Nathan who had parked his butt in a large arm chair.
Sophie jumped up next to Krum on the couch while Shaun nosed the door closed behind him and found a warm spot in front of the heater.

"Ughhhh...Is it Friday yet?" moaned Krum, referencing the age old tradesman complaint.

"I can't even remember what day it is. Seems to not matter so much in this line of work" replied Shaun, his eyes half lidded from fatigue.

"I can't stop thinking about William and the whole concept of these 'other universes', its scary enough being able to do things with the mind" commented Sophie, annoying Nathan with a levitating pencil in front of his face.

Krum stared blankly at the pencil, fascinated as it twirled around as if held up with invisible string.
The door must have swung open with the breeze because none of them expected the Commander to suddenly walk in. He turned to face the group, saw the pencil levitating in front of Nathan and froze for a moment, unsure how to react exactly.

The pencil clattered to the floor as Sophie brought her attention to the new room attendee.
"Sir?" queried Kurm.

"Oh right, yes" he began, straightening himself up. "There was a Flash drive left on my desk with a note saying to deliver to you four on your return."

Krum held out his hand and in it was deposited the small flash drive.

"Was there anything else?" asked Nathan.

"Nothing that I am aware of, i'd better keep going. Lot of paperwork to complete" said the commander then left just as quickly as he had entered.









damit i lost my train of thought. tomorrow i'll try and finish it up  x_x
Down, never out!

Offline flatout442

  • Sr. Member
  • ...
  • ****
  • Male
  • Posts: 275
Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #111 on: May 03, 2013, 08:22:02 am »
Alright, no pressure. I do like the suspense!

Also, I know how to make Napalm!! My mom loaded ordinance on to F/A-18 Hornets in the Marine Corps.
« Last Edit: May 03, 2013, 09:16:13 am by flatout442 »
One simply does not exist without bacon.

Offline Sledge

  • Hero Member
  • Species: Fyr Cat
  • Peace through superior firepower.
  • *****
  • Male
  • Posts: 22294
Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #112 on: May 03, 2013, 08:26:10 am »
Is it legal to share that? I hope so....  Napalm!  :D
A wise man once said: "don't anger a man who can end you from another zip code."

Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum. - If You Want Peace, Prepare For War.

Offline Old Rabbit

  • Species: Rabbit Artist
  • Happy Holidays.
  • *
  • Male
  • Posts: 15109
    • Art by Oldrabbit
Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #113 on: May 03, 2013, 08:47:30 am »
Alright, no pressure. I do like the suspense!

Also, I know how to make Napalm!! My mom loaded ordinance on to F/A-18 Hornets in the Marine Corps. The

No posting any recipes for weapons or explosives. I know the mix wasn't
given, but all the same.

Old Rabbit.

Edit: removed info on Napalm from the quote.
« Last Edit: May 03, 2013, 09:30:30 am by Old Rabbit »
Avatar drawn by me.
oldrabbit.com


Offline flatout442

  • Sr. Member
  • ...
  • ****
  • Male
  • Posts: 275
Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #114 on: May 03, 2013, 09:21:33 am »
Alright I edited it out. Napalm is not an explosive it is a highly flammable gel, also laundry detergent doesn't contain phosphates anymore because people did use them to make chemical weapons. Octane 83 is basically jet fuel and is extremely expensive and hard to come by.
One simply does not exist without bacon.

Offline typingwithpaws

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Male
  • Posts: 334
Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #115 on: May 03, 2013, 09:10:20 pm »
not quite the area to discuss such things, but yes it is easy to make, no its not octane 83, you're thinking of something else.

ANYWAY!
where was i?

they all stared at the flash drive in Krum's hand, wondering what it would contain.
Nathan got up and grabbed Shaun's laptop from the locker, handed it to Krum and squeezed himself onto the couch to watch.
Shaun came around behind and placed his front paws on the head-test, peering over Sophie where she lay.
Krum installed the flash drive and opened the file.

A slideshow opened, fast moving pictures flashed across the screen and ended with a face recording of William.

"Glad you managed to get this video" he said, addressing the four in their virtual positions from his prospective.

"Over the past few days you have shown me much and given me one of the most memorable times of my life. We leave in a few hours back for the portal area. I do hope it all worked out for you, and me for that matter. I just wanted to say thanks for your time and hospitality, It restores some faith in society for me. Knowing that not everyone is bad or scary, even if they are from an entirely different universe. If all extraterrestrial life was anything like you guys then no one would have anything to fear."

William took what appeared to be a deep breath and turned slightly to face where Krum was sitting.

"Krum..." he began again.

"How the hell did he know I was sitting here?" said Krum.
"Shhhhhh" was the reply he got from the others.

"...Having worked with you for the past few days I can honestly say you are one of the most skilled military men I have met. Someone with a friendly disposition and a rational mind is hard to come by where i'm from. You should be proud of this for it is these traits that make up some of the most heroic people on the planet.

Nathan, you may indeed be new to the military scene but a marksman as skilled as yourself is a rare find. Keep up the good work and try using some synthetic oil on the bolt of the rifle, you'll find it cycles a bit faster and smoother...wait....you have synthetic stuff right? Anyway, it was a pleasure spending time with you.

Shaun, you and Sophie may be trapped in a body not originally yours. But don't ever let that bring you down. It gives you many abilities that others do not, Things that not even technology can offer to other people. You have a good heart, a loving one. I am sure that will assist in pulling you all together during rough times ahead should there be any. Remember that the mind is a powerful tool, it can make or break a person.

Sophie. Like Shaun you have gifts, you may at times consider them to be a curse but as I said, the mind is a powerful tool. In your case especially. Your ability sets you apart from everyone, even my race has not developed this technology yet. So work with it, learn how it works and make it into the most versatile tool you have. I'll miss the time we spend on the beach, that's for sure. Something about watching you and Shaun play a simple game rekindled some childhood memories of mine that I had thought lost. For that, you have my thanks.

Not much space left on this flash drive for video footage so I leave you with some sights of my world. I do hope we can meet again someday, somehow.
This is William Fennec, your friend from across the way signing out."

The screen went blank for a moment then was re-lit with a mind boggling view. The four gazed upon the southern lights, shining all shades of pink and green as they danced across the sky. The camera's point of view panned downwards to the ground briefly, showing a pair of paws poking out from under a snazzy pair of denim jeans.

Nathan recognized that it was filmed from Williams point of view, possibly a recording of his eyes or something.

The camera continued to pan across to a whole crowd of animals, all standing upright as humans did and dressed warmly in the snowy environment. There were numerous species that the four recognized as they stared in awe at the video footage. William turned around as a fox-person was approaching him with a chilled beverage of some description, William could be heard laughing and shaking his paw in refusal. He said something about not being able to do that anymore and then panned back to the southern lights.
Krum thought he saw someone with a heads up display on their left eye but the picture changed soon after to some kind of helicopter footage flying over a large city. Buildings and everything looked so similar but were still different in some way. The camera panned to the interior of the helicopter, it was clearly of a military design. The same Fox fellow was sitting opposite William sporting a huge rifle with a glowing centre section.

Sophie commented that it may have been some kind of laser technology.

The picture changed yet again to a female fennec fox still dressed in a smart fitting shirt with a name tag marked 'Marianne'. Either side of her were two children, both grinning.

Even Krum thought that the scene was pretty cute...but he'd never let anyone else know that.

The video ended, leaving the four in silence but with warm memories. Krum was about to close the laptop when a flash of white and black interrupted the otherwise blank screen.

"Wait! go back!" yelled Sophie, ears perked up in interest. Shaun did likewise at the flash of data.

Krum slowly scrolled back to the flash, went past it a few times then finally settled on it.

"It's a schematic!" said Shaun.

"That it is" replied Krum, scanning the page.

It was a circuit diagram, but it was also rather complex. Across the top was the title of the diagram. "IDCD - Communications prototype" read Sophie.

"Dude, we HAVE to check this out!" said Shaun, sounding a little exited.

The others agreed, the thought washing away any previous sleepiness that had hindered them.







all i have to do now is remember what happened in this story series in case i have to reference it at times  :P

So tune in next time for 'Revenge'
Down, never out!

Offline flatout442

  • Sr. Member
  • ...
  • ****
  • Male
  • Posts: 275
Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #116 on: May 03, 2013, 09:29:58 pm »
Can't wait!!!

Octane 83 (and another ingredient that will not be named) is used to make Napalm-B which was only used in the Vietnam War, left over supplies were loaded on aircraft after the war but were never used. My mom was in the USMC for 4 years in the mid-80s and worked with this and other weapons on a daily basis.

That's enough weapons talk for me right now.
« Last Edit: May 03, 2013, 09:39:31 pm by flatout442 »
One simply does not exist without bacon.

Offline typingwithpaws

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Male
  • Posts: 334
Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #117 on: May 05, 2013, 02:23:03 am »
Hey guys, i have a question.

When reading over my stuff...does your mind automaticly set the scene well enough? its not the same reading it over myself. What i mean is when you read a published novel like Harry Potter or Eragon your mind builds the scene and when you get on a roll you don't 'see' words, but instead see the scene and the activities the character is undertaking.

Is my writing achieving this? I'd not be surprised if it is not but even so. Do i need more details in the scene setting that each character observes?

I'd be nice to be able to tailor this to increase satisfaction of readers, more win for everyone that way  :)
Down, never out!

Offline flatout442

  • Sr. Member
  • ...
  • ****
  • Male
  • Posts: 275
Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #118 on: May 05, 2013, 07:30:39 am »
Hell yes!
One simply does not exist without bacon.

Offline Old Rabbit

  • Species: Rabbit Artist
  • Happy Holidays.
  • *
  • Male
  • Posts: 15109
    • Art by Oldrabbit
Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #119 on: May 05, 2013, 08:27:54 am »
You did very well with your descriptions. I like the fact you don't
stop and over detail a scene. Bringing the details in as needed
like you did is better.

I am sure if you continue to write your discriptions will improve.
After all you can always go back and do rewrites if you think of
a better way to bring a story to life.

Keep up the good work. :orbunny:

« Last Edit: May 05, 2013, 08:40:23 am by Old Rabbit »
Avatar drawn by me.
oldrabbit.com


Offline typingwithpaws

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Male
  • Posts: 334
Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #120 on: May 20, 2013, 04:17:28 am »
Revenge:

I sat up slightly and adjusted my position. only to be welcomed by a sharp jarring ache on the side of my head, just below my left ear.
Cursing might not be the most polite response but its the only one that I have hard wired.

Working under cars every bloomin' weekend was once an enjoyable passtime but these days it has become a bit of a chore. But over the past weeks it has given me time to think. As I lay on my back and tighten a bolt here or lever the gearbox into place there I often subconsciously think to myself about various subjects. From the lovely vixen I saw from behind the fence at work to how i'm going to make my first million.

But today's thoughts were on anatomy. Of all the damn things I could have been born with, why would anyone want a tail? I mean...it has no really practical use. Always in the way, giving away subconscious thoughts and emotions that i'd rather have hidden. And all its doing right now is going numb because i'm laying on it!

Then the muzzle. Once again, always in the way. Can't see downward due to it being where it is. I often smash it on things when I turn my head quickly without a good understanding of my surroundings.

What is this? is god like having some kind of revenge on us for something? man...if he is, 'all loving' is a bit of an over statement!

I removed the last bolt holding the flywheel in then heaved the circular lump of metal away from the engine to inspect the rear main seal.

"And then there's the fur. washing oil out of this stuff ain't easy!" I complained to no one in particular.

I swear, if I was the one designing a race of sentient beings, i'd make them all with short noses, no tail and bare skin. With any luck that'd make life so much easier for everyone! Apart from the need for more insulative clothes I guess.

I gave the radio a kick to get the faulty device working again and continued my frustrating job.





short and sweet once again. slice of life almost. thought of this one while under the van last week (ironic huh) and how much of a prick it'd be as my fursona performing the same task.
paws.
Down, never out!

Offline Old Rabbit

  • Species: Rabbit Artist
  • Happy Holidays.
  • *
  • Male
  • Posts: 15109
    • Art by Oldrabbit
Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #121 on: May 20, 2013, 08:48:53 am »
A good slice of life for a furry.  :D 

Loved it. :orbunny:
Avatar drawn by me.
oldrabbit.com


Offline flatout442

  • Sr. Member
  • ...
  • ****
  • Male
  • Posts: 275
Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #122 on: May 20, 2013, 10:41:47 am »
(Claps violently) WELL DONE! 8)
One simply does not exist without bacon.

Offline typingwithpaws

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Male
  • Posts: 334
Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #123 on: July 27, 2013, 06:16:13 am »
guess who's back.
over a month since it last wrote...wow. Pizza ordered, fizzy bubbelech on hand. Photo's uploading.
but cold fingers from me not lighting the heater. *facepalm* really should have done that.
Oh well, dad's not home for another 5 weeks so I have not been living luxuries like lighting the heater. Hey, I'm a lazy guy.

Dad left for South America a few days prior to my arrival back from Anthrocon. Gotta say its good to be home and finally have some time to sit down and write again. It is a great stress relief and lets my mind escape from other issues contained in my life.

Right, add another comment to that long heated discussion on facebook, send a video to my friend so the song gets stuck in his head aaannnddddd.....go!
.
.
.
.
.
story ideas? scrolling up....any missed words? no, doesn't seem to be any.

PIZZA'S HERE!! be right back.



sweet, new custom pizza. Ordered it with all kinds of that new strange stuff they have on the menu. Heh, I've even forgotten what I ordered now.

Right, story ideas. Oh wait, friend just sent me a youtube video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsUpVawiI3U
hehehehehe. Man this pizza is good. So nice to have proper Coke a cola again too, you guys over in the USA use that corn syrup stuff in everything.

Hey what the heck? the hair on my hands is way darker than usual. When did that happen?
Chest hair too?....and its white looking? What gives?

Ugh, lost my train of thought. I'll have to do this writing later. I'll keep an eye on this hair issue and go to the doctor to see what he thinks.
Going to bed, night guys  :)


******


The radio came to life with the usual 'pop' noise, startling the young author awake.
He groaned and slowly reached out of his bed to hit the snooze button. The arm stopped short and hovered above the button for several seconds.
"Wh..t the hell!?" came the cry as the bed sheets were thrown from the bed and onto the floor. The figure rushed into the connected on-suite to his bedroom and raced up to the mirror.
"WHAT THE HELL! MY HAIR IS ORANGE!"

Not only that, he looked over his arms sticking out from the singlet he slept in. The sparse hair that once resided on his arms was now over an inch long and colored black from his elbow down to his hands, which had darkened in skin color and had small claws growing in place on nails.
From his elbow up had changed to a deep red/orange tone and followed over his shoulders. Down his neck and across his chest had become a creamy white with 'fur' in varying lengths depending on its location.

The biggest shock was the migration of his hears to the top of his head, which were now a totally different shape to what they were before, more pointy and 'cuppy'. Further more they moved and twitched in the direction of interest.

His face was still bare though, needing a general shave from the orange and white whiskers that were growing there.

Legs were likewise covered in black and red fur, changing color at the knee's with claws protruding from the ends of his toes.

"Crap, what the heck happened? I need to see a doctor or something about this. Wait, no that won't work. They'll probably put me in some kind of ward or something."

He began to start breathing heavily and quickly.
"Argh it's too early to be going through this kind of stress...wait...that's it! Dream! why didn't I think of it before? I'll just go back to bed, get to sleep and the alarm clock will go off in the morning. Lucid dreaming I think this is called?" he said, continuing to talk to himself.

After checking facebook and updating his status to "Woke up as a fox lol" he went back to bed, and pulled the sheets over his head to block out the 'sunlight' of the dreamt Saturday morning. Some time passed and eventually he fell asleep once again.

The alarm never did go off. Instead the waking process involved a lot of cursing, tossing and turning.

Opening his eyes, first sensation that registered in his mind was a dull aching pain, originating from the base of his spine and ankles. Following this realization his eyes came into focus...but slightly different than before, almost like someone had changed the color palate of the world.

Throwing the sheets off once again and any remaining drowsiness along with it he jumped out of bed, promptly falling on the floor, his face stopping farther away from the ground than it usually would have done.
"Ouch!" was the only word that came to mind.
Attempting to rub his nose only resulted in his hand smashing into his lower jaw.

Everything felt wrong. face extended into a muzzle, feet longer than they once were. Something made a brushing noise across the floor and a sensation made itself apparent in the base of his spine.

"Holy crap I have a tail! This is getting way too weird. What is going on? is this still a dream? I don't know what to do!"
Down, never out!

Offline Old Rabbit

  • Species: Rabbit Artist
  • Happy Holidays.
  • *
  • Male
  • Posts: 15109
    • Art by Oldrabbit
Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #124 on: July 27, 2013, 09:31:47 am »
Now that could be quite a problem for a human to
find his/herself in. :D

Nicely written as usual.

Of course it might even be more mind blowing for one
to go out and find the whole world had become furry
instead.  Would make a good Twilight Zone episode
either way.

Welcome back types.  :orbunny:
Avatar drawn by me.
oldrabbit.com