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furry arts discussion => furry storytelling => Topic started by: typingwithpaws on July 16, 2012, 07:42:50 am

Title: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on July 16, 2012, 07:42:50 am
oh man...what am i getting myself into here.
i loved Jets original idea and i am going to try and MAKE time to write these.
should help me write my main novel as i get to it also. please ignore the bad grammer/spelling etc....BUT POINT IT OUT, i'd like that  :)

lets see; Jet has started me off with 'Asphyxiation'

the bright white light of the moon shone through the curtain less window in the early hours of the morning, illuminating the glass shards impregnated into the concrete floor from a past decoration experiment.
despite this peaceful setting, there was unrest within the room. the sheets tossed and turned like a sea churned into a froth by an angry wind, eventually sliding off the bed exposing Chip to the moonlight.
a cold chill crept over the fox even as he squirmed in his sleep.

within his minds eye, the waters of trouble thoughts and worries had risen to engulf him. this left him feeling like he was drowning, suffocating as the waters closed over his head. Chip was overcome with a sensation of the bed tilting up; "no, NO!" he screamed to the creator of the nightmare but the bed threw him feet first toward an endless abyss.
Chips gut lurched as he fell, feeling the weightlessness overcome him.
the sensation was quickly replaced by a pressure to his head and a fuzzy chill that ran the length of his body, from the tip of his muzzle, down his spine and into his well groomed tail.
Cold. Cold seeped into his body and chilled his core. this finally aroused his consciousness from it's slumber. Chip became aware that it was only a dream and he was able to awaken. he opened his eyes and rolled onto his side to discover that he had fallen out of his bed, face first onto the floor.

it was one of those dreams that Chip had heard his friends at work talk about, it was not uncommon for a falling dream to occur. but he was very pleased to be rid of the many horrid mental pictures that had plagued him that night.

Chip picked himself off the floor and got back into bed, pausing for a moment to grab his teddy bear from the bed-side table. the Toy had been with him since his early childhood and even though at 25 years old it was a long way out of his maturity level, it still had the power to calm his thoughts. Chip settled down, reached over and with one powerful swing of his arm brought the thick bed cover over himself once more. teddy arranged on one side and the moonlight on the other. peace could now take place within the small bedroom and the last few hours of night could be enjoyed at last.

Chip closed his eyes and let some memories of his early life play, the soothing images turned his conscious thought to mush and soon the only noise heard within the vicinity was the slow breathing of the animal as he slept away the remainder of the night.

well lets see how that sounds  :-[
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Jet on July 16, 2012, 08:17:15 am

It's alright, I have medical tape for when your arms start to become severed, and band aids for when the liquid comes from your ears. Symptoms usually occur within three to five hours after the event, and can last up to a recorded nine to twelve years. If you place all your trust in me, and my six and a half minutes of medical education beside the two thirds of a page from Teen Magazine detailing how to apply cosmetics properly, I know we can get through this mostly alive! :)

Being as I already gave you a word, I will wait for some others to suggest words before I give you another. As for this story, I liked it. I do see that you have a problem with capitalizing those words at the beginning of your sentences. We aren't gonna be having any problems, now are we? You aren't looking for any trouble, right? Didn't think so. (I am only kidding of course! :P ) I say, great job. And have fun with this, no pressure.

Also....I will be back in a few hours to check for pulse and motor skills. We need to keep your vitals as non flat-lined as possible for now. Just make sure to find something to bite down on. I suggest an old chunk of wood, or maybe a bone. Wadded paper works fine, or even your own arm if non else works.......
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Mylo on July 16, 2012, 12:22:31 pm
Jet's medical prowess should soothe you Typing, although I didn't know that writing short stories could cause massive bodily harm... :o *scans all over his body to locate any abnormalities* But considering that you've written your first story without injury (you have a knack for descriptive imagery...I felt asphyxiated reading it), I'll give you another word. How about...lens? Have fun with that, and hopefully you'll get a lot of practice and fun from this short story thread! :)
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on July 17, 2012, 03:19:56 am

"I don't care what the production officers do or don't about their own safety! The rules clearly state that all personnel on site must wear Australian Standard safety glasses." yelled the boss, his anger clear through not only his facial expression, but also his stance and the vigorous movement of his tail.

"All I am saying is that we here in the engineering department always cop the brunt of the attack when it comes to petty little issues like this." explained Shane from where he leaned against the cupboard. A smug expression on his face.

I had well and truly had enough of this argument. Somehow it appeared that otter's and their genus had a knack for getting into arguments over pointless things such as this. Safety glasses are mandatory through out my workplace but there are people starting to whine about how they affect vision. It had something to do with the distortion of the light through the plastic lens before it entered the iris. I suppose that there is some small amount of jealousy between Shane and the others, he is the only otter here amongst the variety of other species and he does have a disadvantage in the vision department.
Because of this he was employed in the welding shed and often undertook jobs involving hot metal. His short fur and it's wax-like coating wasn't as flammable as the rest of us. I have lost count of the times that I have set myself on fire, boy does that stink.

"Look, I'll talk to the production manager and I will get on to that issue, but in the mean time you will all wear safety glasses and will not remove them until you knock off and vacate the workshop." Finished the boss, clearly having had enough of arguing for the morning.

We all got up from our relaxed positions and ambled off to our various work places. I took my usual place behind the lathe and picked up where I had left the other day. Small blue chips of steel shot past my head as I shaped the round bar of silver metal into a complex shape.

Nuts came over to see what I was up to. After assessing my performance he said; "you might wanna back the feed off a little bit mate, get that swarf nice and short again. You don't want to end up like me."

He was right, I didn't want to end up like him. Nuts, like me, was a vulpine. To be more specific, a Fennec fox where I am a common boring Red. But nuts had some peculiarities about his figure, for one he was missing an ear, in it's place was a bald patch of fur with a hole where the ear canal entered his head. He was also missing half of his tail and though you couldn't see it, had a large bald patch on his back. I had seen the patch in the change room after work one day, he never told me where he received that particular injury but the one he was referring to was his missing ear.

Somehow Nuts had managed to get a long piece of swarf wrapped around his ear whilst machining some stainless steel. it caught on the rotating chuck and being that stainless swarf is razor sharp it lopped off his ear with the greatest of ease.

While this was a gruesome story, it was a daily reminder of the power that these large machines have. They do not care about what gets sucked into them, they just keep going round and round until someone turns them off.
I was happy at least to have only set myself on fire with the plasma cutter a couple of times with minimal consequences, just pat out the flames with my paw and get back to work. Unlike the school children I remembered in school who would have run around screaming then roll on the floor to extinguish the flames while another went for the fire extinguisher. Small fires just require quick and simple actions.

Life in the workshop was thus and will continue to be like this for many more years. Day in day out making and repairing machinery to keep the factory running, with Nuts on the occasion yelling out some kind of obscenity at a passer-by in mock. Shane always gave us something to talk about to pass away the days too while we all waited for the weekend to arrive.
Looking back on it, It seems like a boring existence, but I enjoy what I do and that is all that matters in the end.

slightly more boring than the others but i was experimenting with first person again  :)
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Mylo on July 17, 2012, 03:50:05 pm
More boring?  It's a slice of life...I liked the way you wrote it to make it seem as if all this stuff was nothing, just day to day work (which it is, but to someone that's never been in that situation, it can be pretty overwhelming at first).  You're pretty good at this short story writing.  :)  So how about another word?  Let's see what you can do with...login
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Jet on July 17, 2012, 04:15:44 pm
So, I think I finally have a word for you. Being as you seem to be big of cars and other motorized vehicles, I will suggest the word engine. Let's see what you can do with that. ;)

As for this story, it wasnt really boring. It was interesting to read what one person (the main character) thinks about their own life, while another person may think differently. Maybe if someone were to be doing the same thing over and over, that may eventually become boring to them. I like at the end that you said all that mattered was that he liked his life, no matter how boring of an existence he may think it was. Keep this up. :)
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on July 18, 2012, 03:47:33 am

Florescent lights flashed past as Sophie ran down the hallway. Each passing light left a slight burning after image on her retina as she passed, then carried over to the next light and blurred the entire lighting system into a singular white strip.

She had to escape. The entire base had been compromised and the alleged assailants had informed the occupants only minutes ago that they intended to remove the control rods from the central reactor. To accomplish this they had already disabled the alarm systems and safety shut-down systems in a matter of minutes. Sophie had assumed that there was as tech guru among the terrorist organisation who had infiltrated the systems.

She rounded a corner, dropped down to all of her paws for extra speed and sprinted toward the exit door located at the end of the adjoining corridor.
Pens, paper, notes and even her purse escaped from her pockets as she flew over the linoleum floor. The horizontal angle of her clothing did not allow items to be held in their pockets via gravity. Thankfully the important equipment was strapped securely to her belt for times just like this. Her ever present radio and pistol along with the super-bright tactical torch that she always carried.
When she reached the door she found it to be locked. Standing up she opened the control panel and was greeted by the always annoying artificial intelligence named Andy.
"Please state your name and pass code to login" said Andy, as emotionless as ever, despite his programmers giving him the ability to show limited emotion for a trial in AI technology.
"Sophie, number two four five one dash alpha" replied Sophie in a clear tone to avoid confusion over the background humming of machines.

"Your full name please miss Sophie, you know the rules" said Andy in a mocking tone.
"Oh give me a break you mechanical oaf"
"Full name"
"Sophie Bryer" she said with a huff.
"Passcode" asked Andy again.
"You twit!" she screamed.
"System corrupt, commence automatic shut-down. enter safe mode. mobile unit will activate in thirty minutes"

Sophie screamed again and pounded on the exit door. With Andy out of service and his mobile version not active for a further half an hour she was going to have to try and find another way out of the complex before the terrorists carried out their goal.

She turned around and came face to face with a large burly armed, short legged gorilla wearing a black woollen balaclava and wielding a high wattage laser rifle.
The gorilla charged with the butt of his rifle aimed at Sophie's head, she ducked under it quick as the eye could see and smashed the ape in the face with her paw. The gorilla recoiled at the impact and stumbled back and finally fell to the floor, dazed. She unsnapped her pistol and prepared to draw it on the gorilla if he stood up once again.
Suddenly stars exploded in Sophie's feline vision and she lost all sensation in her limbs. As she collapsed to the floor she saw another large ape who had snuck up behind her.

Sophie awoke with a start but upon realising that she was in a room with more of the terrorists she promptly closed her eyes and relaxed again, hoping they had not noticed.
They had not and kept grunting to one another in a language that Sophie did not recognise.

she opened her eyes just a crack to get a view of her surroundings. From between her eyelashes she could see that she was in the medical wing in one of the bays.

"Sophie" someone whispered.
she looked around slowly trying to see who had called her name.
"Sophie Bryer" came the voice again, right in her ear. She realised that her headset was still on, the voice was Andy who was broadcasting from her portable radio.
"Sophie, wiggle your ears if you can hear me, i'm looking at you from the camera to your left" said Andy, for once sounding friendly. Sophie complied and wiggled her left ear for him to see.

"Good, they shut the whole place down, the control rods have begun exiting chamber, you do not have much time. All door passcodes have been changed but I have been able to watch the infiltrators punch in the numbers. I will relay these numbers when you reach the appropriate doors. Your sidearm is still unsnapped, I have unlocked the remote safety on it. You must shoot the gas canister to your right front, in the corner of the room. It contains laughing gas, so take a deep breath before discharging your firearm then make your way to the door. Wiggle your ears again if you comply."

Sophie took a moment to digest this vast amount of information that Andy had offered. she wiggled her ears again.

"Open your eyes when you are ready and I shall disable the restraints, do not hesitate. I am keeping you locked up until the last possible second to keep the infiltrators unaware."

Sophie took a moment to compile herself then opened her eyes. Andy released the restraints almost instantly which was an amazing feat considering he was operating from the small confines of her hip mounted radio.
Quick as a flash she pulled out her primitive projectile pistol, chambered a round and fired on the gas cylinder. The shot was straight and true and pierced the canister as she took one last breath of fresh air. The various ape species within the room jumped with fright, with their jump came a lung full of the medical gas and sent them sprawling to the floor, writhing and squirming, occasionally giggling.
She lept out of her tilted bed where she had been placed and made a run for the door.

"2332" read Andy and she punched in the code. The door slid open and she sprinted out.
"You are in the south end of the medical wing, the closes exit is to your right but judging by your body temperature, sweat analysis and tail movements I can make an educated guess that you intend on stabilising the reactor core, correct?" asked Andy.

"So you have been watching me in your spare time, you know me too well." said Sophie through her mouthpeice.

"After the emotion upgrade i became attached to certain people, you would call it 'friendship' and now with my main server gone, I will do anything to help you get out of here alive." said Andy honestly.

"You sound like you're hurt." said Sophie as she began running toward the reactor complex.
"Of course I hurt, I just had several subroutines shut down and half of my code pulled apart, to you that's like having your arms and legs ripped off and your torso set of fire!"
"I didn't realise, sorry."
"Lets just get this over with so you can upload me into a proper server when we are out of here."

Sophie reached the main door to the reactor room, punched the code and opened it. inside were fifteen apes.
A large mischievous grin spread across the tigers face as she drew her firearm.

"Get them." said Andy flatly.

phew! that was a long one! think that flowed better than the previous. wanted to try an action peice this time. will take a crack at yours soon Jet  :D
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Mylo on July 18, 2012, 05:07:51 pm
Cool story Typing!  The pace was fast, and like you said, it really did flow well.  That was also kind of touching when Andy and Sophie reconcile (and a bit unexpected :)).  So after you are done with Jet's story, here is another word for you: maximum.
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on July 19, 2012, 05:20:17 am

"This is it." thought Jake as the pit crew pushed the vehicle to the start line.
Jake worked over the procedure for his quarter mile run, months of work had gone into his vehicle to get it to this moment. The competition was not anything to scoff at either. The challenger was an old school friend of his and Jake knew that his car had many thousands of dollars spent on it. But Jake also knew that his competitor, Phill, had little mechanical knowledge. Most of his vehicle was made from off the shelf parts that required no more ingenuity to put together than a difficult jigsaw puzzle.

When the crew had positioned the car and given Jake the go ahead to start he began the procedure.
First he turned on the fuel supply and pressurised the system, along with the oil supply. Then to the crowds shock he exited the early model Van and inserted a crank handle into a receptacle just behind the drivers door.
The crowd laughed out loud at this ridiculous act as Jake grabbed hold of the crank handle with his paws and began to turn it.
Jake strained as the handle was very hard to turn but after several seconds he had picked up speed and a low whine was becoming audible to his sensitive ears. Jake smirked, no one had any idea what was going on while Phill was busy warming up his engine and impressing the crowd.

"Oh you're so gonna get it" said Jake to himself, a toothy grin spreading across his face. the Pit crew glanced at one another, still puzzled at the goings on. One approached with an inquisitive look.
"Are you aware that you are not permitted outside your vehicle?" he said.
"I wont be long, just about ready to fire it up." replied Jake.

The whine has increased to a higher pitch and now most of the crowd could hear it. They still however looked puzzled.
Jake was now panting as he reached full speed on the crank handle. With one swift movement he removed the handle and got back in the drivers seat.
"Keep away from the exhaust guys" he said loudly over the whine and pointed to the large diameter opening just in front of the back wheel.

Jake flipped the ignition switch to 'on' and then hovered his paw over the 'start' button. "CONTACT!" he yelled at the top of his lungs and pressed the button.
There was a small groan that was replaced by the whining noise decreasing in pitch with each corresponding compression stroke as the inertial starter flywheel turned the ten litre engine over.

A gout of flame shot out of the exhaust and the engine exploded to life, drowning out all other noise. White unburned fuel vapour poured out the exhaust and engulfed the van as the engine coughed and spluttered while it warmed up each of it's nine cylinders.
Jake had always wanted to yell that out when starting an engine, normally no one was around to hear him though. Especially when his daily drive was a small pathetic hatchback.

The smoke had cleared and the engine temperature had reached an acceptable level. Jake prepared to warm up the tires on the burn-out pad. He locked the front brakes on and dumped the clutch in third gear. The engine shuddered slightly under the high load at no throttle but kept ticking away. Jake drove his boot into it, mashing the throttle peddle into the floor. Smoke bellowed out from the rear wheel arches and heat waves from the exhaust distorted the vision of the pavement surrounding the exhaust ports.
The crowd was silent for a moment, no one had ever seen anyone drop a burnout at idle speed before and apply the throttle afterwards. The silence did not last long, soon they were all cheering and waving their beverages and flags around in a boisterous manor.

He released the brakes and the van lurched forward, leaving a smelly white smoke trail behind it. Disengaging the clutch and allowing the engine to return to it's usual rough idle, Jake selected reverse and made his way back to the white painted line. He snatched a glance over at Phill who looked a little nervous but revved his engine anyway, giving voice to the challenge.

Jake readied himself, the yellow warning light had illuminated, indicating for both drivers to ready themselves. Jake could hear Phill increase his revs in preparation as the lights descended toward the green 'Go' light.
Jake now bumped the RPM of his radial engine into the low thousands.
The green light lit up and both contestants mashed the throttle peddle into a pulp. Phill had the jump on Jake and quickly selected second gear bot to no matter. Jake roared past still in first gear and overtook the V8 Ute in a flash. He grabbed second gear and accelerated further, the van leaning over to the side as the huge torque from the engine being transmitted through the driveline twisted the suspension.
After grabbing third gear Jake glanced up in his rear view mirror, in the small space left between the mid-mounted engine housing and the roof he could see through the back window the expression on Phill's face as he dwindled into the distance. He chortled and selected forth gear, the finish line was rushing up the greet him.
Jake screamed over the white painted surface and began the arduous process of slowing down. Full engine braking locked up the wheels and too much hydraulic brake overheated the pads so he was forced to alternate between the two methods. Phill on the other hand simply deployed his chute and slowed down much faster.

When Jake reached and acceptable speed he turned and made his way back to the start of the drag strip to collect his time ticket. He smiled and punched the air out the window, all that work had paid off. The hassles of procuring an aircraft radial engine, installing it and then beefing up the driveline in a very inappropriate vehicle.

Later that night, Jake was in a pub, celebrating with his friends when Phill barged in the door looking a little annoyed. "You!" he began. "What the heck have you got in that thing?"
"less power than you do" replied Jake. This thoroughly confused Phill and he came over and sat to listen.
"You're running what? 800 horsepower at the wheels?" began Jake.
"850" replied Phill.
"only 560 for me, but i'm also pumping out about tripple the amount of torque you are producing and my power band is very very wide" explained Jake.
"It's still not fair, I was supposed to win that race"
"I'm not sure why you're complaining, you did!"
"Take a look at your ticket, I exceeded the time window, you win by default." finished Jake.

Phill smiled and thanked Jake, but before leaving he asked one more question; "can I ask why you're celebrating?"

Jake laughed. "I still destroyed your time!"

there....not super happy with it, but i added some more specifics in it that the average reader would not understand, this is because of the nature of the word Engine. sometimes you must appeal to a certain group of readers?
onto Maximum  8)
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Mylo on July 19, 2012, 11:46:08 am
You talk about car stuff like IRC talks about...computer stuff. :D I loved the way you broke it all down and elaborated on all the details, even though some of it is a bit verbose for the average reader (nothing a little googling doesn't solve ;)).  But still, I much enjoyed it!
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Jet on July 19, 2012, 04:33:09 pm
I dont know. Although it is good to think about the audience that will read it, and try to make it understandable to them, I think its more important to think of the subject. This character knows a lot about cars, so naturally he would know all the lingo and stuff a normal person wouldn't know. I do so in Project Tango. The main character thinks a certain way based on her personality. So although a normal person would yell at her to go back and bury her best friend or give some last words, she wont. In her life, people dont do that, this is normal for her. I will have a similar issue with Project Foxtrot since the main character is basically insane and truely believes there in someone traveling with him. The fact is this other person is just a figment of his imagination, and both dont act "normal." So I think its better stay true to the character's personality and mindset, but maybe give small context clues as to what the things he is talking about is.

Anyways, this was a good story, even if I understood about ten percent of it. x_x   That's okay, we have internets nowadays. And you were right when you said you were getting a little long with these. :D  Don't worry too much I guess. But anyhows, it was a good read. So whats about another word for ya. I will attempt one of sort of the other side of the work spectrum. How about Lazy. 8)
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on July 23, 2012, 03:54:11 am
have a bad case of the laze, will get onto it hopefully later tonight....IRC is so distracting hahahaha
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Mylo on July 23, 2012, 05:00:17 am
have a bad case of the laze, will get onto it hopefully later tonight....IRC is so distracting hahahaha

Tell me about it. :P  I've neglected mine as well...
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Jet on July 23, 2012, 07:15:43 am
have a bad case of the laze, will get onto it hopefully later tonight....IRC is so distracting hahahaha

Tell me about it. :P  I've neglected mine as well...
I've just decided to do one every so often. In between other work I have to do. Sort of a way to keep me at least writing something without taking too long of a period without writing. But I don't think i will be posting three stories a day any time soon. That's ok though. :)
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on July 25, 2012, 03:07:16 am
ok...got an idea for it....


Wind rushed across the tips of the swell, tossing the thin water into a mist as the wave crested. Up and over the undulations in the water surface I went, with each pass adjusting my weight to keep the boat steady.
The tell-tails on the sail were spinning in random directions, indicating that I was required to make an adjustment to the mainsheet. I checked my heading then looked down briefly to search for the mainsheet rope. It was lying in a tangled mess in the bottom of the small boat but was still cleated off to the cross member where I had left it.
I quickly ducked down and grabbed the rope and gave it a small tug to disengage it from the cleat then returned to my usual seat on the gunwale.
Giving the rope a small tug achieved the result I was looking for, all the tell-tails on the sail began streaming toward the rear of the sail as the wind was captured and redirected efficiently.

"Right; where's that mark?" I said to myself as I searched the horizon for the small yellow inflatable buoy. It was my goal, it marked the finish line and so far, it marked my place on the podium if my boats handicap correction was up to scratch.

There it was, appearing intermittently between wave crests as it rose and fell.
There was a change in the air, I could smell it first, then as I twitched my ears to my left side I could hear the squall approaching. I turned my head slightly to snatch a glance, sure enough, a dark shadow on the water was sneaking up on me at an alarming rate. The gust was like an invisible monster that rushed out of no where to grab unsuspecting sailors, such as the unfortunate tiger in her Mirror behind me. I watched as the gust took hold of her sails and pushed her boat over onto it's side like a leaf in a hurricane. Thankfully I had less sail area in my trusty wooden Sabre and I also had time to prepare for the upcoming excess.

I leaned out of the cockpit, using my legs under the straps to hold on in preparation. Suddenly the wind dropped. The boat lurched to windward and my tail dipped into the seawater. The cold surprise made me jump a little. Just as I had planned the gust then took hold and the boat heaved over to leeward. I was catapulted skyward during the manoeuvre but my body weight was not sufficient to hold the boat at an acceptable level. Instinct took over and I spilled some wind from the sail to allow the boat to return to an acceptable angle.
Now with the boat sitting flat I yanked on the mainsheet again and the boat rocketed away.

The waves tossed and turned the small vessel and made it quite a handful to keep under control. The speed I had picked up was monumental, the whole rigging was beginning to hum and the tiller vibrated softly in my paw, this truly was the Sabre's maximum speed.

Up ahead there was a large cruising catamaran, whose owner had entered the race as an excuse to get the white behemoth out for a day. Even with it's immense size it was still keeping pace with my current speed. However, the crew were on deck sipping cold drinks while the simply waited for the finish line to arrive. Meanwhile in my small dingy it was utter chaos.
My fur was soaked to the skin and my ears burned from the chilly wind. I growled at the cruiser's crew, I guess I was jealous but I also know that I was having more fun.

Looking up again I noticed that in the commotion, the distance had closed a considerable amount between myself and the finish line. There was only a few minutes of sailing left before I would have to head home.
Gritting my teeth, I checked all my settings, the tell-tails, the luff, the heading then settled down. Sitting still and making hardly any adjustments was a sure way to pick up speed. The less you move the tiller, the less drag you create and hence the faster you go.

Seconds crept by while the strong wind howled and pulled at the rigging. But to my delight, ever so slowly the distance between myself and the large cat closed. They had already lost to me on corrected time anyway but I was still determined to beat them across the line.

A minute passed and I was overtaking the wash that their yacht created, the crew saw what I was up to and all stood up to cheer me on. I felt my cheeks heat up, It was slightly embarrassing but it felt good to have positive reinforcement, especially from the competition.

Our boats were now level. Thankfully I remembered to pass on the windward side or due to the large size of their sail, I would have never passed them as they block a lot of wind.
The finish line was close, breaking my concentration for a second I looked to the control boat. The operator was holding up the siren ready to announce the completion of the race.
As if the Sabre itself knew what I was doing, it inched forward, putting my a few feet in front of the catamaran.
A double siren sounded from the control boat. We had both finished but what confirmed my success was a loud roar from the lion with the siren and a shout of "Well done Chip!"

The catamaran crew cheered and I beamed widely. Today was a great day for a race.

First person....there you go. let the critics read and bask in it's.....learningness  (:
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Mylo on July 25, 2012, 03:20:01 am
You do seem to like races and competitions...you describe them well and with great thrill.  :)  It's awesome to see you expanding this writing thread with a great set of stories, each one engaging (and furry, I might add, that's always good :D).
So here is another word to keep you writing: Apocalypse
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Old Rabbit on July 27, 2012, 08:06:30 pm
Looking good.  Here is a word. "travels"
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on July 30, 2012, 02:21:17 am

Chris could see fires blazing from the window as he peered out into the massive expanse of rubble that was once Sydney. He had had enough. All the running, fighting for survival and the lowered quality of life in general was overwhelming. Sasha padded over, choosing to use all four of her paws as she often did to walk.
"Are you ok?" she asked.

Of course he wasn't. It was 13 months to this day that the first victim was taken by the virus. Chris had read about the burial in the newspaper and the subject was given a proper service being someone of his stature. The charity worker had apparently fallen ill after a trip to the hospital while on holiday, he was flown home after his condition stabilised but eventually he just, stopped. The only problem is that just like in a science fiction film gone wrong, he didn't stay where he was left to rest.
Several hours later multiple cases of the virus had sprung up all over the city.
It was not nuclear fire, aliens or even a giant meteor that brought about the end of the world. It was a simple case of a bio-terrorist not knowing the consequences of what they planned on doing. This sparked the start of what can only be known as the zombie apocalypse. As immature as it sounds, it is the best way that Chris could describe it.

"No i'm not ok. I really thought that after a year things would have started to improve. The virus is inactive now, there have been no new cases for over nine months but where is the help?" Said Chris as his eyes began to well up.

"You know how fast this thing travelled, it went worldwide in under three days, the only help we can get is what we can provide for ourselves. Just keep your chin up, your tail straight and your emotional wall in place. There is still hope." Replied Sasha, trying to cheer up the wolf.

Sasha was right, in part, there was indeed hope. rumours had spread that further south there were still abundant supplies of crops and other supplies.

"We make our own life" murmured Chris.

"Huh?" replied Sasha.

"Nothing, just something my dad used to say to me when I was a pup."

"At least you can remember your dad." huffed Sasha, now feeling upset herself.

Chris replied by tackling Sasha into a hug, the sudden movement made them both forget their sorrows and forced them to continue with the hand they had been dealt.

"S'pose we had better get back to the others, Gorge wanted to get moving soon when I left so he's probably pretty keen to get going now." Said Sasha.

They both walked back down the stairs of the apartment block and into the large convention room where the others sat around a table discussing plans for the coming weeks travel. Sasha and Chris took their own seats as silence rippled through the air between them and the six others.

Gorge issued a curt nod to the new arrivals then said "Good of you to join us again, we have much to do so let us begin."

And so the long arduous practice process of planning the trip south began...

might go right onto Travel now :p    if only i did my homework at school as often as i do this now. maybe that's why i didnt do so well XD
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on July 30, 2012, 03:22:08 am
ive been wanting to type the post event part from my novel for some time but found it to be too early to do in the actual document. so i'll throw around some ideas in a short story format so i can see for myself how it will pan out :)


"This has got to be the scariest thing i've ever done in my life" exclaimed Sophie as she and Shaun both hobbled to a quiet corner of the large mess hall to eat their breakfast.

"Even scarier than turning into a fox, getting shot and plotting the demise of an insane doctor?" replied Shaun.

"By a long shot. Look, everyone is staring at us!"

"Wouldn't you if you saw two non-native canids walking upright, carrying plastic trays laden with cereal and toast through a military mess hall?"

"Smartie pants." retorted Sophie.

The truth in Shaun's words was abundantly clear however. Since bringing about the demise of the company responsible for not only the Animan project that had turned Shaun and Sophie into the hybrid animals they were now, but multiple other bio-weaponry was uncovered and subsequently destroyed as a result of their findings.

Soon after the job was completed and having escaped the authorities, Shaun was water skiing with his father and his new and old friends when a sudden ambush took place. Boats came from everywhere and cut short the enjoyable time they were all having.
Shaun's father was told to go home, ensured that nothing bad was to come and told to speak to no-one about the goings on.

*out of story moment: using FBI instead of AFP here since FBI sounds better than AFP, which is the Australian federal police. but anyway, country location is not important for this short story i dont think. right back to it.*

The head of the FBI was present when the four captives were brought ashore, dripping wet and slightly cold. Shaun had shaken most of the water off on nearby escorts in an act of defiance, and you could also call it revenge at ruining their fun. Krum was completely white with fear, despite having been part of the armed forces in his previous years he had accompanied the other three in many illegal activities to serve justice in the past month. Nathan didn't know what to think, Sophie could see from her four-footed stance that his facial expressions were ever changing and becoming increasingly hard to decipher.

All questions were washed away when the FBI's chief commissioner announced that he wanted to give the four a job in a special forces decision within the narcotics sector.
Before more information was exchanged the four hero's had informed the commissioner that they would have to think about the decision before a simple answer could be made. The time spent away from home would be challenge enough, long travel distances away from their home country was not out of the question either. There was also the fact that the two pawed members of the group were completely against war, killing and unrest. Dispute what they had achieved together.

Several weeks later they had all decided to join on a few conditions. One of which was to be kept together as a team, and another was to be treated as equals to the other battle hardened members of the military and detective squads they would be working with. The last request came from Sophie and Shaun, that their existence and purpose were to be kept from general knowledge. Data of their past was to be wiped, any Internet rumours squashed by the use of a specialised computer virus and every member who was to come into contact with them to be sword to secrecy. These measures ensured that their safety was preserved to the highest degree possible and that no one else had any inspiration to re-create the Animan project based on what they may have seen or heard.

With the conditions met, they had signed up for short missions here and there in an attempt to squash terrorism rings and other forms of unrest from a covert point of view.

Krum and Nathan barged out of the crowded canteen line and looked around the hall, searching for their friends. Sophie stood up, nearly knocking over her cereal in the process, and waved to them. They both raced over, sloshing porridge all over the place in their exited dash.
The two animals sidled their chairs along to make room for the two men as they arrived and sat down.

"So? How'd it go?" Asked Krum eager for information.

"It's only basic training, surely you remember what that was like, you've done it before." Commented Nathan.

"It's still slow but getting better now we're into day five. They must have been keeping you two busy, haven't seen you all week." Said Shaun and Sophie together.

"They even made me brush up on my heavy weapons skills." Scoffed Krum.

Nathan let out a gasp of air, trying to suppress his laugh.

"Oh shut up you! You couldn't hit the broad side of a barn with a bucket of wheat!"

"Not much been happening in our training over the last five days besides..." Shaun was cut off as an announcement sounded from loudspeakers and echoed through the mess hall.

"Attention: Team A-M 51 Please report to loading bay for immediate departure. Repeat: Team A-M 51 to loading bay."

The entire hall fell silent, making the following actions of the four all the more awkward.

"That's our call guys, looks like today is about to get a whole lot more interesting." murmured Krum

and thats it, just an idea i wanted to write down. Question of grammer thingie...
when writing a conversation. do you finish the sayers sentence then put 'said krum' afterwards outside the speechmarks as it's own sentence?

Eg: "So what do you think they've found." Asked Krum.


     "So what do you think they've found" asked Krum.

which one?


Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Mylo on July 30, 2012, 03:35:54 pm
You would write it: "So what do you think they've found," asked Krum.

Otherwise, in the apocalypse story, I liked the way you made it sound like a tried-and-tested cliche...you know, the zombie apocalypse.  It was just slightly comedic, but then realizing what a zombie apocalypse entails, you realize just how serious and depressing it may be...

Also, you say this is an excerpt of your novel?  It ought to be interesting; I'd like to know more about the setting and the adventures that these characters have in the future.

Oh!  And another word!  How about...life?
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Kobuk on July 30, 2012, 07:05:42 pm
Try this word.........Picnic.
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on August 25, 2012, 06:15:20 am
real life caught up on, time for some mental challenges!
where was i?


Once again I find myself outside.
Another argument that did not achieve a great deal. The problems never seemed to stop sprouting since I came back from active duty. Ethics often came up, along with the usual "we have to find a cure" topic. Truth is I still don't want a cure.

After the events that proceed the nasty illegit experiment conducted by Mr Parva that resulted with myself and Sophie in our four legged forms things have been difficult.
Sure the missions that we have been sent on together with Krum and Nathan have been somewhat fun as well as dangerous but even so, the legitimacy of our original experiment involvement has indeed been justified.
Parva wanted the ultimate in disguised operatives, yep it did work. Some of the methods he used have been banned under international law for many years and the motive behind the madness was a bit nasty. Both myself and Sophie were destined for the black market before we messed up his plans and escaped before the memory wipe was carried out. But all in all we are kinda doing what he wanted anyway, but fighting crime instead of causing it.
This year alone we have shut down twelve drug rings and another three gang related crime rings, not only in this country but abroad as well.

But now I have returned from service for a while, and Sophie is also two thousand kilometres away with her family. I hope she isn't having the same issues with family that I am.

I took my usual hiding spot in the large bushy macrocarpa pine in the front yard and lay down. The smells of spring filled my nose with pleasant aroma's. From my hiding spot I could see a few flowers coming into blossom. T've never cared for plants or nature as such but now that I've been stuck with the body of an animal for nearly a year I feel somewhat more connected than I ever did before. Life never ceases to amaze, all the small cells and organisms that go together to make that frangipani into the faint scented flower it is today. I kneaded the dirt with my paws, my mind absent to the activity, drawing a rough picture of my former self with my index claw. The basic human shape took place, then some limited facial features. The dirt caved in at the edges when too much was asked of it's capabilities. Slightly frustrated I tried again but larger this time.

Sunlight shone through a gap in the tree's fronds as the earth's rotation allowed the angle possible. I squinted at this new light source and glanced up towards it slightly.
"If there is anyone up there" I began, "What do you have planned for my future?"

I don't care if I get an answer or not but it'd be nice to know that someone is watching, even if they are laid back on a nice couch and eating popcorn like my life is some home movie.
The thought of that made me laugh out loud to myself. "Yep I can just picture that, God being the ultimate couch potato with 3 billion channels on his TV, all of which being a person's life" I said to no one.

There was a rustle of footsteps up the driveway, my ears instinctively swivelled to face the incoming sound waves. I sat in silence, probably as a result of my recent military training. The footsteps evolved into two pairs of footsteps as the two people lost synch with each other.
Making as little noise as possible, I slowly made my way to the edge of the shrub and peered out. There were two men standing at the door to the house, both wearing large overcoats, one slightly shorter than the other. The taller one had long hair and a beard that was visible even from behind but there was one small piece of information that allowed me to recognise them.

The small red paw print that the forces had embodied on the ends of their coats, the logo that was not attached to our unit. I was so exited to see Krum and Nathan again after the past two months being apart but I contained my excitement for a nice friendly prank to play of them.

as they muttered to one another I slipped out of my hiding place and around the back of the shed.
Peeping around the corner, they still had not seen me so I silently padded up behind them, stood my my hind legs and howled right in their ears!

Oh the look on their faces, loving life right now!

there, another tye in with the novel, more of a post events story but it was easier to use pre-made characters  :P

next ive got Picnic!
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Mylo on August 25, 2012, 12:43:54 pm
This story really exemplifies life to me Typing. Especially the last part: that was great adding a bit of comic relief to break up the seriousness. In fact, that's something that I need to do in my own writing from time to time. :)

And how about another word? cyber
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Old Rabbit on August 25, 2012, 12:56:11 pm
I agree, the comic relief added a extra bit of life and realism to the
story.   Good job Typing.  :orbunny:

Ok a new word..  How about "Ponder"
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on August 25, 2012, 07:59:02 pm
ha, using pre-made characters makes things much easier to get the ball rolling, but i'll have to break the chain next story so it isn't too easy ;)

to the average passer by the sight beheld in the park would have almost passed as normal. Stereotypical red and white checked picnic cloth, basket brimming with food and a nice looking fellow retrieving the dishes and cutlery to set among the attendee's.
But one such peaceful citizen was sent running and screaming when she caught glimpse of what she first took to be a strange pet dog, stand up and assist the first man in setting out the dishes.
The group paused for a moment to watch the woman run away. Sophie was the first to laugh; "I doubt I'll ever get tired of seeing the looks on people's faces every time we mess up and break cover" she said, the foxes dry fur ruffling with the jostling movements of her laughter.
"you're not wrong" chuckled Krum.
"And you are also a bit of a laughing matter yourself mr big-tough-millitary-man" retorted Nathan.

Soon, Shaun returned leading a group of nervous looking young adults that Nathan immediately recognised as his friends from school. Left to right were; Ben and Tonn the tall ones, Kevin the human calculator and Jonty the resident computer genius. But from the expressions on their faces, it was apparent that they were still in semi-shock after their encounter with the shaggy haired talking wolf that was one one of their friends.

Nathan raised a hand and waved to them and after a few seconds or eye squinting and memory sifting they all waved back. A long time had passed since the last time they had sat together and long gone were the days of buying chips at the school shop and socialising around the table while feeding the seagulls.

After the five sat with the others the situation quickly turned into one of those awkward first meeting moments where everyone just looked around waiting for someone to break the ice.

To everyone's relief, Krum began first. "Right...I suppose introductions are in order. My name's Krum, Nathan you already know and the fox to your right is Sophie." Krum extended a gnarled hand to each of them in turn, shaking their hands and taking note of each of their names.
This stimulus seemed to have little affect on the conversation level so Sophie interjected with the only conversation topic that she knew everyone was thinking about.

"So um, bit of a shock meeting Shaun again since last time?" she started. The four nodded nervously.
"Oh this is no good, Lets try again." said Sophie, getting up and extending a paw to shake with each of them. Physical interaction, she reasoned, would help greatly. After a short moment Jonty repeated the gesture and then the others followed suit.

"So what are you guys doing with your time these days?" asked Shaun when she had finished with the familiarities.
"I...I'm doing a diploma in quantum mechanics" replied Kevin, breaking the silence with his small stutter.
"Ben and I are in the state Basket ball league" answered Tonn with an almost normal tone now that the conversation was making way.
"Certificate four in video game design for me" said Jonty as a small smile spread across his face.

there was a slight pause, Ben opened his mouth as if to say something but then shut it again.

"What is it Ben?" queried Nathan.
"Come on, out with it!"
"Oh ok" began Ben then turned to the two canines; "What's it like? going from who you were before to what you are now? how does it feel? I must admit, i'm rather curious." explained Ben while the others nodded in agreement.

"Bingo!" broadcast Sophie to Shaun via her limited telekinetic abilities, a last minute addition to the original procedure that resulted in her transformation.

"What's it like, what's it like...hmmm. Well vision was the first thing I noticed, colours are a lot less lustrous now than they were before but vision clarity overall is greatly improved. Despite the fact that our animal types often don't have very good long distance vision. You see, foxes at least, have more movement based vision than actual recognition based vision, it's not until the object in question gets close that we can make out what it is." Explained Sophie.

"So you're pretty much blind to detail?" asked Kevin.

"Well I didn't say that. I think part of the project design was to hybridise both human and animal vision properties for the best possible outcome, so yes I've lost colour. But I have gained long distance clarity along with being able to detect movement at the distance."

"Since when did you know so much about your own species?" asked Shaun mockingly.

"Uhh since I became a fox and had enough spare time to read up on my species type!" came the reply. "I suggest you do the same, it might come in useful" she finished.

"Ohh you just got told!" laughed Krum as Shaun's ears drooped slightly at the thought of being so absent minded.

"What about smell? I can only speculate that animals have greater sense of smell but is that really true?" asked Jonty as Krum began to serve the salad and cold meat.

"That's a hard one to describe" began Sophie. "Oh I know, you walk past a Eucalyptus tree and what do you smell? the slightly sterile smelling oil within the sap yes?"


"Now did your mum or dad ever rub the concentrated oil on your chest when you had a cold or something?"

"Once or twice yes."

"Remember that the smell was so strong that your eyes watered and you almost gagged until some of the oil evaporated? Now picture every single smell you have experienced is now that strong. That's what it's like, after a while you learn to block out the stronger smells and take notice of the more subtle ones. Like Krum over there, he used strawberry scented deodorant this morning but not quite enough of it." Said Sophie, cocking her head at Krum with a mischievous smile.

Krum grumbled and muttered something about a glandular disorder then plonked a hunk of meat and salad onto everyone's plate in turn.

"Ok one more question then?" asked Kevin.


"Eating and drinking, how's that working out?" he asked. It was a simple question but one of both Sophie and Shaun's more embarrassing downfalls.

"Uhh, well I suppose..." began Sophie before Shaun cut her off. He knew it was not a subject she enjoyed talking about.

"Well obviously there are small etiquette techniques that we cannot follow, but I doubt such techniques were ever designed around having a mutant, furry, four-legged, tailed, animal sitting at the table. Little things like keeping ones mouth closed when chewing. Almost impossible but I think we've got it worked out the best we can." He explained.

Krum was seeking a little revenge on the previous comment made against him, a small smirk appeared on his face as an idea formed. He grabbed the two water bowls from the basket and placed them in front of the two animals.
Sophie placed a paw over her eyes and shook her head.

"Aaand then there's the drinking problem" said Shaun, hanging his head. The others all burst into laughter.

oh the problems of being furry hahaha.
what's next? ahh; Cyber....hmmm my future writing sense is tingling  (:
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Mylo on August 25, 2012, 08:37:34 pm
That was a great read Typing!  I really like your way of storytelling when it comes to furry themes.  Sometimes, it just gets too serious with other stories (*points to Mylo* :P), but you have a way of making it so light-hearted and fun. :)  
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on August 25, 2012, 10:04:26 pm
i just cant do 'sad' for too long as it eventually makes me feel a tad down. And as of last year ive given up on sad. why be sad when you can be happy!
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Mylo on August 25, 2012, 10:29:57 pm
i just cant do 'sad' for too long as it eventually makes me feel a tad down. And as of last year ive given up on sad. why be sad when you can be happy!

That's an excellent point Typing.  I want to make my next story a happy one now. ;)  I'm also looking forward to what you do with cyber
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on August 26, 2012, 04:03:30 am
cyber: 110101011010101000101010011011110101001010101010101101010010101011010101111010101010101010110

just kidding  ;)


'Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep'
the only annoyingly repetitive tone able to be heard was thus from the heart beat monitor.
Williams thoughts slowly began to uncloud, like a haze lifted from a valley. Memories began to activate within his consciousness, attempting to figure out what had happened in the past to lead up to this moment before taking in any new information.

he opened his eyes but felt very strange doing so, there was no 'feel' of the muscles required for the task. Examining more of his body with thought revealed that there was very little sensation of anything. Even his tail felt numb and non-existant.

Will took note of his surroundings. He was laying in a bed in a pure white room, a few electrical cables ran across the room to large tower like machines that quietly whirred and hummed away. What caught his attention the most was the four cables running up under the sheets and into his bed.
Will moved a paw to grab the sheets to remove them then froze in shock.
His paw, or what used to be his paw was not black and fluffy as it once was. Now it was bristling with metallic components, pneumatic rams and actuators all arranged in the rough shape of what his paw once looked like.
Regaining some movement in himself he tore off the sheets then stopped again, although he was clothed in a surgical gown it was still clear to see his legs. well, not really his own legs, but some sort of robotic replacement for them.

"What's going on?" he tried to say but nothing came out of his mouth besides static.
"What's going on?" he tried again, this time the sound was replicated in a stuttery broken audio tone that sounded like his own voice used to, but like he was hearing it through a telephone speaker.

"What is going on!" he yelled this time. The voice came through loud and clear this time and echoed off the blank walls of the hospital room.

There was a commotion outside the room then the door burst open and 3 people came in. A bear, raccoon and a fox entered and quickly surrounded the bed.
"What's going on?" repeated William.
"Calm down Will, everything is going to be alright" said the raccoon in the most soothing voice William thought possible.
"Alright? What have you done to me!"
"What have we done FOR you would be a more appropriate question Mr fennec" came the gruff booming voice of the bear.
"What do you mean?" queried William.

The fox tugged on the four wires that were connecting William to one of the machines. "Sit up and we will tell you" she said.

"You were in a horrific accident William" began the raccoon as he ticked off some notes on his notepad and stored it in his labcoat.

"What kind of accident could cause this much damage?" asked William, now very scared.

"The kind where you almost died!" answered the bear.

"You may not remember but there was a malfunction with your rocket pack during your last mission, we tried our best but there were too many mangled pieces to re-assemble your body while allowing you to keep a resemblance of your freedom. So in this instance, a private investor supplied the funding to construct you a replacement to the pinnacle of modern technology." explained the fox.

William was silent for almost a full minute before asking; "How much of me is left?"

The raccoon grimaced then replied "most of you memories, your personality and your voice characteristics. No part of your biological self is currently in service. You are entirely...a machine."

William paused, the information he was given was too much to comprehend, his vision flickered then turned to static. The last thing heard before he blacked out was the Bear yelling "He's crashing!" then all was silent.

William woke again rather suddenly, shaking away his disorientation he looked down himself. He was fully clothed including his paws which were fitted with black lycra gloves.
"phew, it was only a dream" he thought to himself then looked around the room. He was in a large open stadium like area, smack bang in the middle which was illuminated by a bright white floodlight.
Curiosity got the better of him so he peeled back the sleeve of his left glove for a peek. To his great shock and disappointment he beheld the same metallic paw from his dream.
He wondered if this was really true, was he really a robotic version of his former self?

something rustled in the darkened area outside the circle of light. William squinted to try and see through the darkness. To his great surprise his vision flickered black then returned green, but this time there were silhouettes visible of the surrounding area. "Night vision? cool" he murmured to himself quietly.
Then a flicker of movement off to the right caught his attention. A small box like shape with rubber tracks was slowly trundling toward him. From the top of the box protruded a turret of sorts with a belt fed magazine of bullets feeding into the breach of the rifle like device. William recognised the drone from a previous encounter, however last time he saw one, it was fighting to protect him. This time it seemed different.
As if to confirm this suspicion the little machine stopped, rotated a few degrees and took aim at William. He instinctively ducked as the turret fired upon him once.
The shell sailed over Williams head, as he watched it appeared to be in supreme detail, like it was in slow motion. what was once the flash of sight and sound could now be played back in is head in full detail.

A second shot sounded but this time William was ready, he pushed off with one of his arms from where he was laying on the floor and dodged the bullet perfectly. A third bullet sailed harmlessly between his legs then a forth under his arm. The machine was too slow to target him accurately but since it lacked any decision making skills it continued to fire upon the mechanical fox as he danced around the edge of the lit area.
"This isn't getting anywhere, something's clearly wrong with this drone" thought William and made the decision to shut down the now rather annoying machine.

He raced toward it in a zig zag pattern, dodging more bullets as he ran. When he was within ten feet of it he leapt into the air, somersaulted around and landed behind it. Before the little robot could turn to face its now-attacker William balled his paw into a fist and punched at the machines metal casing, hoping to damage it in some way. To his utter amazement his fist past clean through the thick armour and out the other side. His arm spasmed slightly as electricity from his crippled attacker coursed through the servo's in his arm then was still.

He withdrew his fist and examined the damage. The attack drone was left as a smoking pile of scrap metal with a bent turret on top while the only damage visible to his paw was the destroyed glove. He examined his unfamiliar paw again, flexing his fingers as he did so. Small clicks and whines were emitted from it as the mechanical linkages moved in order to create the movement that he commanded them to.

The floor began to rumble. Williams first thought was 'earthquake' but that was quickly silenced as one of the walls in front of him crumbled and collapsed. The rumbling stopped, as the dust settled Williams new night vision was able to make out the all to familiar shape of a early century tank! The tank, or Abraham as he knew it as approached once more, rumbling along the polished marble floor. William thought it such a waste to see such magnificent flooring ruined by such a 'rude' machine but these thoughts were quickly squelched with a rational thought.

William didn't need time to think about this assailant, he got up again and sprinted toward it. It lowered it's main barrel toward him and William could hear the clicking and knocking of a round being loaded.
"If I can kill your little twerp brother I can sure as hell kill you!" he screamed. He grabbed the barrel and pulled down as hard as he could. This motion propelled him high into the air and he sailed over the length of the barrel and landed on top of the hatch.
Enraged at his mistreatment and everything about his predicament he heaved on the hinge. Humming noises wafted out of his upper back, shoulders, arms and knees as he strained. His vision flickered then went black, complicated thought turned into one goal; Pull.

a sharp crack echoed through the stadium and the hatch cover flew off the top of the tank. William threw it away and yelled long and loud at the tanks occupants. His vision returned but in the corner of his peripheral vision flashed a warning about power consumption and heat levels. He ignored this and prepared to jump into the tank and remove the threat when a loud voice boomed across the stadium; "Hault!"

William was tempted to ignore the request but as persistent as a small child the voice repeated; "I said Stand down soldier!"
William stood up, simulated taking a deep breath then disembarked the armoured vehicle. Without anything to do he leaned up against the tank and recovered. It was such a strange sensation, having exerted so much effort and feeling tired from it but no panting occurred as it normally would have. William could make his chest heave up and down but it did nothing apart from give a visual appearance of panting.

Two wolves emerged from the tank and made their way to the floor, looking rather shocked.

"What's this all about?" asked William angrily.
"Ho...how did you do that?" asked one of them.
"You don't wanna know...you really don't wanna know" replied William.

"He's right, now run along private Skittles and Regan. This training exercise is over" came the voice of a mysterious figure who was beginning to emerge from the gloom.
William recognised it as the same voice that had told them to stop their activities. As the figure came closer he remembered to reactivate his night vision to augment his already supreme eyesight. Now he could clearly see the figure approaching was a large manned lion. He vaguely remembered seeing this lion before from somewhere but could not quite place the exact instance.

"So who are you then?" asked William in a mocking tone.

"I am Captain Chaser your new commanding officer and if I were you I would loose the tone in your voice" said the lion authoritatively.

"What are you going to do about it, I just ripped the lid of a freaking tank!"

"If you lay one paw on me you shall be shut down permanently and your parts sent to other more worthy purposes, you may have once been a person but to me you are now a piece of equipment."

"And what if I don't care if you shut me down or not. I am officially dead anyway aren't I?"

"and you..."

"AREN'T I!?"

"Yes you are technically dead. But even a dead man deserves to see his family again so I did indeed bring them along today for you to see. I may not feel for you like a flesh and blood companion of mine but I am far from heartless. Is this reason enough for you to keep 'living' Mr Fennec?"

"My family's here? where?" said William now sounding desperate.

"In time, first I want to interview you following your performance. As you may have guessed this was a test of your abilities which you have passed with great expectations. There is much to explain so if you would follow me, we have a room set up with some coffee for me and some recharging for you."

William grumbled and followed the lion.


several hours later William exited the building and looked around for the sight he had been waiting for. Then he saw them, his two kids and wife Marianne. He almost forgot himself and bounded forward to their embrace but held back. What if they didn't feel comfortable around him now that he was so different? What stories had they been told of his death?
There was no point waiting to find out so he slowly walked towards them.

once a few feet away Marianne noticed him and opened her jaw in shock. Both the children beamed and dragged their mum toward who they thought to be their father.

The two paused three feet from one another, William spoke first; "So you know what happened?" he said softly and hung his head.
"And I love you none the less for it William" she replied and opened her arms in embrace.

The two hugged as they had not done for several months.
"I missed you" said William.
"And I still miss how much more huggable you were before" she giggled. "But I missed you too. You cannot understand how happy I am to see you back again."

Williams attention was captured by his children tugging on his shirt.
"Wow have you two grown! look, you're almost half my height!" exclaimed William.

"Do you still remember us daddy?" asked one of them, Sasha. This almost hurt to hear, the question struck deep like and ice dagger.

"How could I forget the smartest little fox in the country and her trusty brother Hugh?" replied William with a smile, masking the pain.

"We missed you daddy" said Hugh.

"Me too son, me too."

"Come on Will, lets go home so you can tell us all about what has been going on." said Marianne.

"Huh yeah, you get to find out what makes me 'tick' all over again" William chuckled.

THAT Was fun! excuse the interrobang in there, i was getting as emotional as the character was and i felt the moment deserved it. when a simple exclamation mark will not suffice or when a question is yelled i run into problems.

i quite enjoy this writing, it's just getting into it in the first place that's the hard part, like going for a swim on a cold day, the hardest part is getting wet for the first time!!


Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Mylo on August 26, 2012, 12:40:44 pm
THAT Was fun! excuse the interrobang in there, i was getting as emotional as the character was and i felt the moment deserved it. when a simple exclamation mark will not suffice or when a question is yelled i run into problems.

*looks up what an interrobang is*
What's wrong with the interrobang?  It seems like a legitimate way to express that particular type of sentence.

i quite enjoy this writing, it's just getting into it in the first place that's the hard part, like going for a swim on a cold day, the hardest part is getting wet for the first time!!

Isn't that the truth!  :)  But once you get into it and have a story in mind, the words just kind of flow.

That was a very interesting story for cyber Typing.  I really liked the battle scenes; I was seeing them in slow motion.  How strange it must be to be non-organic, you know?  Especially at the end; I had no idea how his family would react to seeing him.  I also have a question for you...was his face designed to look like his old face or was it much more robotic?  The only reason I'm asking is because his children were able to recognize him at the end.

Oh!  And another word to continue your thread.  How about...wheel?
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Old Rabbit on August 26, 2012, 12:45:18 pm
You did well.. No problem with emotion, that's part of the story, and every
good writer becomes one with their characters.

Keep up the good work. :orbunny:
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on August 26, 2012, 05:04:36 pm
I also have a question for you...was his face designed to look like his old face or was it much more robotic?  The only reason I'm asking is because his children were able to recognize him at the end.

i realise i needed to add a tad more detail as there are 2 readers i know of now who missed what i had in my head.
I reasoned that if you're going to spend that much money on building an entire robotic persona of someone, of course you'd go to the extra effort to make him appear as close as possible to his former self.
he other reader wasnt sure weather there was any biological parts left, to this i say no. i never intended there to be any remaining parts like the brain or heart. but the only connection he had with his former self was personality, voice and as many memories as possible.

i suppose it delves into 'the soul within the machine' and i find it a very interesting concept. it puts the spotlight on the question "What is a soul?"

Thanks Rabbit. getting into the characters 'head' always makes you wonder if you're going crazy once you finish the writing. i'm in the mood to write more about this guy right now but alas, real life calls and ive gotta leave for work in 20 mins.

Maybe i can incorperate 'Wheel' into Williams Story line?

next i have Rabbit's word Ponder
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on August 27, 2012, 12:25:18 am
Bored at work. Hiding in the ceiling above the bosses office.  It's strange reading over your own story. It's like I forgot most of what I wrote but know the ending. Sure there are plenty of errors and story board abnormalities but I enjoyed reading my own work. How strange.
I've got an item to try and sell tonight but I'm rather exited to write some more. But more so expand on Williams story, not only is it slightly easier using one set of characters to tell a story but it makes me feel like I know them better. As if they were real people I know.

And I'm still flabbergasted that this writing came from MY keyboard! How is a supposedly non-imaginative person such as myself supposed to write this stuff and feel this way. Furry changes you alright!

Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on August 27, 2012, 08:39:12 am

Everything was dark when William and his family arrived home. William had no trouble seeing with his new-found bright green take on the world. Because of this William trotted toward the house and triggered the sensor light, flooding the front yard with a warm yellow light. It reflected off of the small metallic parts of Williams body that were not covered in clothing and cast an eerie glow around him as he returned back to the car to help his family with their luggage.

"Can you grab both the kids bags out of the back Will?" asked Marianne.

William silently complied. Once he had shouldered the combined load of the backpacks he noticed Marianne struggling with her own bag. Silently he reached out, slipped his fingers under the strap and took the weight of the large carry bag.
Marianne gasped slightly as the strap slid off her shoulder and onto Williams wrist.
William could tell it was heavy but the response information he was getting, which felt like strained muscles to him, betrayed how much it actually weighed. He got a slight shock when these thoughts about weight triggered a small figure to appear in the corner of his peripheral vision; 65kg.
It was quite apparent that there was much left to learn about his new body, he wished that he had an instruction manual.

"Thanks honey" said Marianne and walked to the front door, leading the two children while fishing in her pockets for the keys.

William gave the car door a good shove with his tail to shut it, though he hit it harder than he anticipated and left a small dent in the door.

"Uhh oops?" he said when the others turned around at the noise.

"Silly daddy" said Sasha as Marianne unlocked the door and let them race inside.

"It's like they never knew you were gone" said Marianne with a smile.

The couple entered the house and made a bee line for the kitchen where William immediately sat down, not feeling tired, but sort of achy.
"Can I get you something? Tea? Coffee?" asked Marianne politely. William just raised an eyebrow at her and grimaced.

"I think I'll miss eating and drinking the most" he replied, taking off his tattered gloves and beginning to unbutton his shirt.

Marianne came over and when William had finished unbuttoning his shirt, lifted it off him to expose his complicated looking chassis.
From his shoulders up was covered with fake fur that resembled his original colours and markings, even his red spot behind his left ear. But below the shoulders was polished rare metals, from Tungsten to Aluminium, Titanium and Stainless Steel. Interlaced between the precisely milled pieces were wires of all colours of the rainbow, fibre optic cables were also visible in their armoured conduit and pneumatic lines extended like blood vessels throughout his body. Every component was moved by Pneumatic rams or electric servo's but in some instances a combination of both.
It seemed that all of his original muscles had been fully replicated for seemingly useless purposes. Such as the ability to move his chest to simulate breathing in or wiggle his tail in a particular manor. William refrained from mentioning the fact that some wise-guy designer had decided to place his charge socket in his butt, he did however vow to exact revenge of whoever did this as some immature joke.

"This is amazing" whispered Marianne.

"Is it?" replied William.

"Yes it is! I thought I was going to loose you forever yet here you sit as if nothing happened. You may not look like the same fox I fell in love with but you still have the personality and soul of that person and I love you all the same."

Hearing this made William feel wonderful, like no matter how bad things could get, happiness would always prevail for him.
"I love you too" he said and nuzzled her neck.

Just then the two children came barging in playing with their toys but stopped clean in their tracks when they beheld the sight of their dad.
"Wow daddy you look like someone from the future" said Hugh.
"Yeah, all you need is a laser gun or something and you'd be the best person to come trick-o-treating with us on Halloween" squealed Sasha.

"You two run along now, daddy and I have an important issue to discuss" said Marianne and the two kids scurried off into the lounge room to play.
"What did Chaser talk to you about before you met us today?" she continued.

"He wants me to serve in the special forces division, basically to carry out suicide missions that are too dangerous for any 'living' person to carry out" He explained.

"Uh uh, that can't happen, I won't loose you a second time!" she said starting to cry.

William pulled her into a tight hug and whispered; "I'm far better equip than I ever was before. This job may prove to be safer than my previous and he said that I only have to complete one year of active duty before I can leave the military for good."

"He said that?" she sniffed.

"He did. The captain strikes me as a man of his word and I am sure he will not like the consequences of going back on it with me."

"I hope so" she finished, drying her eyes with the back of her paw.

William experimented with an idea, he closed his eyes and  thought really hard about two pieces of information; the time and charge level.
Sure enough after a few seconds the time appeared to the left of his vision while a charge level indicator flashed a warning yellow to his right.

"It's getting late, you better get some sleep. I think I'll spend the night out here tonight. Use the power point to recharge and all. I don't even know if I will sleep at all. Will I just turn off maybe? In any case I wish to get re-acquainted with myself before I come to bed with you, in case something unexpected happens."

"Though it pains me to agree, it is a fair point. Have a good night my love" she said, kissing him on the nose.
"You too" replied William, with a small smile on his face.

After Marianne had left, William dug through his bag and retrieved the cord that Captain Chaser had told him to use to recharge his power cells every night. Apparently they indented to fit him with an experimental fusion reactor at some point to extend his mission usefulness but for now he was limited to lithium based battery technology which required recharging.

William plugged himself in and right afterwards an icon appeared in front of his face telling him the charge rate and estimated completion time. William flicked his eyes to one side and the notification shrunk down to one corner of his vision like all the other alerts did. He sat down on the chair again and placed his paws on the table then rested his head on his paws.
There he sat pondering the enormity of his predicament.

Eventually the lack of movement triggered some sub-systems to shut down and he drifted off to what some would call sleep. His memories mixed with worries and experiences as his CPU attempted to de-fragment the vast quantity of data available that was to be stored.

there we go. not sure if that one flowed as well as the previous but it is late at night and i think i'm still a little destracted by the fact that i just purchased a jet ski for not much money. (seriously, why did i do that? oh well...one more thing to attempt while in fursuit :D )
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Old Rabbit on August 27, 2012, 11:58:45 am
That was better I think. The kids and his mates activities added a intimate
flavor to the story.  The description of William learning about his new body
and it's functions was good too..

Keep up the good work. :orbunny:

If you want another word how about "fursuit"  
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Mylo on August 27, 2012, 06:22:07 pm
I especially liked how you handled the discovery of the functions of William's body.  It was a neat perspective of him just figuring things out, rather than just reading an instruction manual or something.  Who knows what other features it may have?  :o

I'm looking forward to what you'll be writing for fursuitMy word is kind of boring...
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on August 28, 2012, 07:25:52 am
fursuit as a necessity will require an entirely new story arc i think so i shall do Wheel for now on Williams story line as i quite enjoy it but when i do fursuit later on, it'll have to be in a non-furry world.


Days had passed by quicker than the spokes in a rotating bicycle wheel during the week.
William had spent this time with his family as often as possible in between some household chores and greeting some old friends.
Every now and again he got curious about something else to do with his body, then of course experimentation resulted. So far only a function to improve movement speed at the cost of power consumption and a multi-frequency radio had made themselves apparent. The radio would play from his voice box when the application was started, it seemed like a pointless ability until he was able to tune into his base's com system despite the encryption they had in place.

The incident on the Friday night at a buddies a barbecue was also interesting. William was forced to clothe up pretty heavily and apply some fabric softener to his face and tail to make it seem as realistic as possible. He assumed that general knowledge slippage about who he had become would not be appreciated by his commander. Anyway, the boys had taunted him for not joining them in their cheer and having a sausage with the rest of them. William just pretended to sip a glass of water instead while he watched his friends arm wrestle.
Eventually he was called to the table to take on the current champion, of course he declined immediately but they continued to pressure him further into the situation.

Finally he gave in but voiced one condition; "I'll do it, but lets see some money where your mouths are. You are gonna lose Bear" he said looking at the wolf with the apt name.
"ooooOOOooooo, someone's rather confident aren't they?" he replied.

"I'm not bragging about it, you guys want me to do this and so you're gonna pay the price for disturbing my 'peace'" William said as a creepy grin spread over his face.

"Fine then, I bet you ten bucks you can't beat Bear! so far he's smashed all of us" said Alex.

"Let's do it then" said William with a growl.

Taking his place across from Bear he positioned himself appropriately with his arm skyward and waited for the muscled wolf to match his gesture.
They locked arms, William thought he saw a touch of unease on Bears face when he grasped Williams paw. He hopped that Bear would not realise what the glove was hiding.
Alex counted down from three then the contest started.
Bear strained with all his might while William allowed him to gain some headway. When bear was past the usual point of no-return a toothy grin spread across his strained face.
William quickly silences this grid and with a blank stare, slowly pushed the wolfs arm back around and onto the table with the greatest of precision.

William let go and tapped his index finger on the table indicating for Alex to pay up. He did with a shocked and silent expression.


"What were you thinking!" bellowed Chaser.

"I'm sorry sir, it wont happen again" replied William feeling very foolish about his actions.

"Just see that you keep that mechanical mayhem maker of yours under control in the future. I cant have a tool as valuable as you blowing their cover and causing a rukkus."

The armoured vehicle jostled up and down on their way to a location unknown to William. During the silence that followed he could not help but imagine all the wheels and gears turning over in the vehicle. Like him, all of those components had to be working in unison to achieve the result. but unlike him it had no conscious thought and was driven by input controls rather than making it's own decisions. "This is what defines me from it I suppose" he thought to himself. As now was becoming the norm, concentrated thought on any object brought up 'on screen' additional information and in this case, even live schematics. Green holographic outlines appeared where the components would have been should there be a visible cut away. He could see the crank shaft and timing wheels rotating around, engine diagnostic data streamed across the side lines. This random occurrence was becoming slightly annoying, he hoped that he would figure out a way to control it a little better as time went on.

The troop transporter bounced over a speed hump, passed undisturbed through a boom gate and pulled up outside a large concrete building.

"Where are we?" asked William.

"That's for me to know and you to find out, you want the 'instructions' for yourself. This is where you are going to find them, along with a couple of post-testing up grades we have in development. I hope you charged up last night like I requested, it's going to be a long day" explained the Lion.

William disembarked the vehicle and into the bright summer sun, feeling prepared and positive for whatever challenges were in store.

"Well lets get started then" he said and Chaser nodded in approval.

once again not having the same 'feel' like the others. might be because I was distracted as per usual.

anyway, that's enough from our friend Will for now. lets see how i go with 'fursuit'.
i feel a bit happy that ive gotten back into this thread. it's like a hobby with no pressure and for once...a hobby that's cheap!


Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on August 28, 2012, 09:15:01 am
bugger it im gonna do another tonight. redemption  ;)


Tony sat in one corner and stared at the large light brown parcel in the other.
It was here, it was finally here. The courier had dropped off the parcel only minutes ago, Tony had of course raced outside to greet the man before anyone else in the house was aware of what was transpiring. He had even calculated the best possible probability of the package arriving on this day and had taken the day off work to await it's arrival. He trusted his family to not open something that was not addressed to them however did not exactly wish to take that chance either, it would be inexplicably embarrassing for him to be revealed to have purchased a realistic looking fox costume, or fursuit as it was known.

For now he just stared at the package, almost afraid to open it. The package was marked with a detailed paw print from the mysterious person he had purchased the suit from and with it was a detailed leaflet detailing the washing and cleaning of the article. But Tony was far more interested in anything but cleaning at this stage.

At last he got up from his chair, grabbed his Swiss army knife and cut the tape on the box. As he folded back the lid of the box the scent of 'new' wafted through the room. A smell that was almost always accompanied by excitement.
There it was, plastic wrapped and rather expressionless, the head of the costume and beneath it, the rest of the suit.
Tony was overcome with the thrill of being able to play his own designed character that he used on the Internet for role play. the ability to bring his character to life and walk around pretending that he was indeed that anthropomorphic vulpine.

He unpacked the box, laying each item out on his large bed then used his knife to carefully remove the plastic wrap from around each item in turn.

It wasn't long before he had slipped into the main portion of the costume and closed the zipper.
Suddenly there was a noise from upstairs, he froze in place listening as hard as he could.
Footsteps thudded along the floor followed by the sound of the back door opening, then closing. A second set of footsteps followed likewise. There was a series of thud's then the distinctive low rumble of a diesel engine.

"Fantastic!" thought Tony, "They're going out."

Once he saw the car zoom past his window and down the driveway he continued with his test fit.
First he grabbed his brush and removed any kinks in the fur.
It was now time for the final piece. With great joy he placed the head of the costume over his own then fluffed the edges around the neck seam to blend the two together.
It was done. Tony was gone and only Akio remained. He stood up and took a few clumsy footsteps toward the mirror to admire the character staring back at him.
He waved to himself and opened his jaw as if to say 'hi'.

Self confidence overflowed it's figurative container and as a result, Tony gathered his mess together, locked the house and went outside.
Without much of a plan he looked around for some sort of inspiration. visibility was fantastic, one of the advantages of paying the large sum of money he did. From his position he could hardly see the inside of the suit, even if he strained his eyes to their extremities.

"This is great" he chirped and decided to walk down the street toward the town centre with the goal in mind to mingle with the people. Having a spotter was preferable and he was fully aware of this but he was gifted in living in a small town with a low crime rate, he also reasoned that his martial arts and stamina at running would come in handy also should trouble arise.


Tony returned home just after dark, what a day it had been. He was hot but not overly so which surprised him after hearing the horror stories that plagued other full suit users. over the course of the day he had had plenty of water to drink but not much food besides a quick break in private to scoff down an apple.
Taking care not to bump into anything with his tail or trip over anything with his limited downward vision he silently padded up to the door beside his bedroom and turned the handle.
It was locked. 'No matter' he thought and went to try the other doors. They were all locked as well and the spare key had been under the pot plant for so long that it had eroded away into a pile of green oxidised metal.
"You have got to be kidding me" he whispered to himself.
Without any other options, no keys, no wallet, no phone, he went into the back yard and picked his way through a shrub and into his old cubby house.
There he curled in the corner and used his tail to assist in the insulation effort. As he did so he thought he felt a strange sensation in his lower back but quickly dismissed it. Too tired to even remove the warm comfortable head he fell asleep.

His dreams were rather disturbing. Images of his fantastic day inter-spliced with random recalling of wild foxes in their natural habitat. All of this coupled with the leaflet that was affixed to the top of the package, a warning, something was written on the paper that Tony couldn't quite make out. As he had never exactly read the instructions he could not recall the text he had glanced over.

A gunshot rang through the air, jutting Tony awake, wide eyed and feeling very strange indeed.
He quickly stood up then promptly fell over again as his balance failed him. He crawled using his hands to the door and peered out. Everything looked strange, like someone had put a damper on all the colours, just like on dusk where the human eye has trouble seeing in colour.

Another gunshot rang out followed by a splintering of wood right beside Tony's head.

Tony gasped and tried to stand again in order to run out of the bushes to show whoever the shooter was that he was indeed human and not a pest. This time he fell flat on his face.
He looked down at his hands, or what used to be his hands. In place of them were two small paws, he lowered his lead down to look at his legs and was ultimately shocked to see his legs bent and twisted into the hind legs of some sort of canine.
He locked up, frozen in shock at what he was looking at. From his rough appearance he was about half his previous size and looked more animal than ever before.

A third shot sounded and a shock wave passed over his head, rustling what he now realised were his ears, this drove him into instinctual action. He ran from the bushes, stumbling on his new four legs. As he burst out of the bushes he saw his dad standing there fumbling with the bolt of his rifle. Tony scampered around the house and quickly slipped in through the old disused doggie door.
He skittered across the hardwood floor and found his way into his bedroom, pushing the door shut behind him.
"Mirror mirror mirror mirror" was the only thought running through his head as he scampered across to the large wooden structure holding the reflective glass.
He reached it and peered back at himself. Standing before him was a perfect image of a wild red fox with blue eyes just like he had before.
"This is insane" he whispered to himself. "At least I can still talk" he said to himself.
Forsaking the shocking image in the mirror he dug around his messy room for the original box the fursuit came in and hopefully the flyer within.

Minutes passed and eventually he found the box down between the bed and the book case. Thankfully the leaflet was sitting on top. He went to grab it with a hand but fell short without the use of fingers. Using Both his paws and his muzzle proved the answer, he maneuvered the leaflet onto the ground and began reading.
"Dear purchaser,
thank you for purchasing this...." Tony skipped forward to the section he was interested in.
"Warning: by purchasing this costume from Jarwinder the mage you agree to the terms and conditions sent to you via email prior to purchase. Because of the magical nature of the methods used to create such a realistic looking costume, Jarwinder recommends not wearing the costume for a period of longer than two hours at a time or undesirable effects may take place. Jarwinder will not accept responsibility for any unexpected effects that take place upon the use of this costume."

There was no further detail on the paper. Tony turned it over in vain hope of finding some other detail that would help him out of this mess but there was none.

Feeling very scared and worried he went back to the mirror and stared at himself again. No expression could be interpreted on the animals face that looked back at him.
Now he would have to undertake the arduous task of planning the next step.


different style that time, highly predictable i think it was, even it the last part was a bit of a twist. it was also too fast paced for my liking but i think preferable considering the corney story line. right...it's 11:15pm and ive got work tomorrow. achievement accomplished!

Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Old Rabbit on August 28, 2012, 12:00:19 pm
Nice continuation of William with the Wheel.

The fursuit story was cool.. Reminded me of a story I wrote once
with a rabbit fursuit of course.  Big difference was the suit was
a old twin male female pair that were used by a man and his wife.

The warning was not to sleep in the costumes during the full
moon. Which of course they did after returning tired from a costume
party. So they got to be anthro rabbits each month during every
full moon.

Keep up the nice work Typing.   Oh and how about the word "Typing"

Old Rabbit :orbunny:
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Mylo on August 28, 2012, 12:58:17 pm
It's nice that you like this hobby Typing.  :D  Now that William is getting used to his body, I suppose the temptation of using it for personal reasons is becoming very apparent.  :)
As for the fursuiting story, I really enjoyed it!  The twist at the end certainly wasn't predictable for me, but considering how little I've read in furry literature, I can't say that as a general statement.  I found your motto at the end funny, considering how many times we click 'I agree' on terms of services online without reading them...  But anyways, great job on both stories, and it was nice that you did two in one day.

Hmmm...how about Furtopia?  (:
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: The Wise one on August 28, 2012, 03:44:48 pm
How about..... Gamer?
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on September 03, 2012, 08:36:23 am
ok...ive got a sugary bread roll, and a 1.25L bottle of Kobuk's favourite drink...with caffine.

Triple story marathon? lets see how far i get  8)


Taka tac tac taka tac taka.

Flint wished his keyboard was quieter than it currently was. The rest of his family was in bed and he had three short stories to write that night that were due for a school assignment the following day.
Ideas flew through his head, constantly pestering him to get up and find something to procrastinate with. But among those ideas drifted plot elements that were possible additions to the story writing process.
Ideas such as a bionic copy of a soldiers body, turning from one species into a freaky hairless pink skinned ape and even a fully sentient AI were all swirling around and mingling together. It was very confusing at times but once the ideas were filtered, words began to flow from his fingertips and into the computer.

There was a ever so quiet knock on the door to his room and in came his mother with the washing. He quickly but inconspicuously minimised the window, returning his desktop to it's usual display of YouTube.
For some reason he disliked the idea of his mum reading anything he had written about the hairless pink apes, it was too strange and abstract for someone like her to understand.

"Here's your washing, i'll leave it on the bed so you can fold it" she said in a hurried voice.
"Mhmm" Flint mumbled in return.
"What are you up to?"
"You never were any good at lying, you always flatten your ears when you try to hide the truth" she said with a small grin.

Flint mentally slapped himself for not paying attention to his body language, now some inevitable questioning was to follow and so a convincing story had to be made up on the spot to avoid the full truth.

"Uhh, well for the first time ever, I am actually doing homework when you have come into my room" he said.
"That dosen't look like homework on your screen there" she replied.

"Bugger! she's got me" he thought.

"It's kind of embarrassing. I can see you won't drop the subject no?" he asked.
"It's alright Flint, you can tell me anything you want to"

Flint restored the window with his current story so far, the one he had begun about someone much like himself who ended up turning into one of the apes that he had named 'skinnies' and then had to try and function within society as that creature.
After skirting the edges of his story to his mum he sat back and waited for her to give him a 'you're weird' expression. But it never came.
Instead the only response he received was; "By the look of it you have some grammatical errors to correct. Do you want any help with that?"

Somewhat shocked he nodded his head and together they sat down and worked on the story together. Quality family time may be hard to come by these days but sometimes the most simple of chores can result in the best of memories.

A really short short story for a change. I was running out of ideas for that one...but a story about someone writing a story...HAHAHAHA.
right, what's next?

Joining this forum was one of the most interesting things I have ever done in my life. After loitering around and skirting the edges of the Furry Fandom for the previous two years I decided to 'bite the bullet' and join in.

My first experience was just looking over some posts and reading about the various 'often-posters' and what was appropriate and what was not. Followed by a trip to the rules and regs section to confirm what I had been given implication of. This is where I wanted to be.
Having seen limited art from the 'dark side' and choosing not to associate with it, the G/PG rated environment suited me well and I was glad to be part of it.

My first post was kind of nerve racking. I wanted to leave a lasting impression and a good one. Something that would sum up where I stood with my views, who I was and in this case; WHAT I was. After this was completed I continued with my normal boring life, checking back often to see whether I had received any attention. Normally I disliked being in the spotlight but everyone likes attention. It is easy to see the 'likeaholics' on Facebook. While I was not one of these people, I did put effort into training myself to not get over exited when the forums mods posted their traditional greeting messages.

The next week was spent gawking at various fursuit designs and wondering on the best way to acquire my own. Eventually I found my way onto the IRC chat room where I immediately made some new long distance friends. The most interesting difference I noticed from this chat to other non-furry chat rooms was the wide usage of third person gestures such as hugging and other random acts of cuteness. It was so exiting to interact with so many like minded people and having the greatest sense of 'I'm not the only weird one'.

Months passed, friendships solidified and events were discussed. Eventually I found myself ordering my first fursuit after taking a crash diet to afford it. Followed by making plans to attend my first convention ever; MidFur.
These decisions soon branched me outwards and finding my first local furry contact. This gave me a goal; Get out and make some friends!

With this motivation to push me along and some good solid funding to afford the travel I set off. Connections lead to more connections and eventually I was hooked up with around fifteen other fandom dwellers. The alone feeling was totally obliterated.
However some of this lead to another strange emotion that I can only describe as depression, however minimal it was.

After meeting up with these people for the first time and having a ball I felt strangely upset when the time to leave them was upon me. The lonely drive home was an interesting one. Not having a history of depression made me wonder if it was a 'depressed' feeling at all. But in any case I still felt a little down.
Thankfully the practical side of my brain kicked in and I returned to daily life and eventually, as per usual, I became happy once more.

To this day I still harbour much excitement and nervousness about Midfur as it rapidly approaches. Questions like "What do you DO at a con?" are common things I ask myself. But this is often wiped away by the ever present problem of money.

And where do I sit now? becoming more artistic than I have ever been before, having more friends than I have ever had before and having a good story to let my imagination run wild with. All of this coupled by a constant stream of things to look forward to make my life one to be grateful for!

that was interesting, more like an autobiography and it 'felt' rather boring to be honest. these 'real' words relating to my real life demand 'real' subjects to be written about, this limits my imagination and presents a new challenge. even the next word 'gamer' takes us into the real world where a player sits at a computer.


If you were a fly on the wall of this particular room you would not see much.
The room was nearly pitch black with the closed curtains and a singular light source. The computer screen glowed a multitude of colours as a mythical character danced and jumped across the monitor.
Also atop the desk rested a leaning tower of Dr. Pepper and Mountain Dew cans, propped up with a pile of dishes and chip packets.

The only noises heard were muffled sound effects from the earphones and the tapping of buttons as Luke navigated his digital self around the virtual fantasy world.

War Games III had only been released the previous day and Danny had been awaiting its release for several months. At last the beta was over and the full game put into service. The way the game was presented allowed the player to fully immerse themselves in their chosen character. This allowed Luke to escape the confines of his vulpine body and embrace the Elven character of his choice and fight the war against the......

i cant finish this one tonight, lets leave that at 'to be continued'.
need some sleep. but i will say that all of these three words have been difficult and challenging to write about!
we'll see how i feel tomorrow, it's like i'm running low on creativity, hence the shorter stories?

Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Old Rabbit on September 03, 2012, 12:29:31 pm
Writing a story about writing a story.. That's cool.. After all you see shows about
shows on tv and in movies too. Nice job. :orbunny:

The one on furtopia was good. A documentary of sorts about a new member.
Perhaps yourself?

A natural gamers room. Living to play.  :D

Keep up the nice work.   Oh! on the fursuit I really thought
you might have written about William getting a new fursuit for
his android body..  Go for that if you wish. 

Old Rabbit :orbunny:
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on September 03, 2012, 05:02:21 pm
Oh! on the fursuit I really thought
you might have written about William getting a new fursuit for
his android body..  Go for that if you wish. 

Old Rabbit :orbunny:

i can't believe i missed out that idea, i think it crossed my mind very briefly but that sounds like a good write!

T mylo....as in Mr. T? hahahaha or how about T-pain or even T-erminator hehehehe
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: DarkDemon on September 03, 2012, 05:41:22 pm
Hey, I like your stories! :3 What can you do with the word 'Glass'? If it hasn't been done, I didn't read all of the posts...
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on September 04, 2012, 08:05:24 am
Ideas brewing and taking us back to our mechanical friend William.


"And stop. That concludes the power supply testing, you're good to go with that one" the technician said to William after he had completed the final stages of the small fusion reactor shakedown phase.

"So how long is this thing supposed to last? it's sure going to beat plugging in every night and the worry i've been feeling about running out of power" He queried.

"If the circumstances are preferable; three to five years before the core requires more fuel"
"And you mentioned that I can now power certain accessories?"
"Yep, I was just getting to that. Follow me please."

William followed the cheetah down a long hall way then through a very well reinforced door with a paw print scanner for them to gain access. They pulled a hard right into a dark room, Williams night vision kicked in automatically but he was immediately blinded as the lights were switched on, bathing the room in a cool blue light.
Lining the walls were white racks that were holding up row after row of various types of weapons. Everything from early century to current models were available. Assault rifles, Projectile launchers, powder less electronic weapons or PEW's were all lined up in perfect order, the white light reflecting off their polished surfaces.

While William was preoccupied gawking at the vast array the technician had blundered off to the back of the store room and was now returning with a small, black cut down looking automatic weapon. William had never seen anything like it before in his life.

"What's that?" he blurted out.
"This is the new CSMG or Caseless Sub Machine Gun. It's just like your typical gun powder firearm but there is no brass casing the contain the powder. Instead we have used a silica based casing to contain the powder and this casing burns away once fired..."

"And eliminates the ejection phase correct?" interrupted William.
"Yes, how did you know that?"
"I'm browsing the database right now" he laughed as he flicked through the various files in his minds-eye.

The feline grumbled and handed William the weapon saying; "There, that's your sidearm. How am I supposed to surprise you if you keep googling the database for the latest information?"

As he walked away, William examined his new toy. It was matt black with a large drum magazine which he assumed could be changed out for a smaller clip to save weight. But then he remembered that weight was hardly an issue with his new strength so more rounds was always a good thing. On top there was a small display for ammunition counting and presumably barrel temperature. The side was fairly featureless apart from the bolt lever to cycle through a new round when the clip was changed but unlike anything else he had operated, there was no ejection port.

His examination was cut short when the Cheetah returned pushing a trolley with a white sheet draped over it and a large bulging lump hidden beneath.

"Any guesses smarty pants?" he asked.
"Nope, you've got me stumped this time" he said. There was no relevant data on the limited visual he could pull off the weapon he could see via the use of thermal imaging.

With a flourish of movement the big cat whipped off the sheet and revealed a very large, under slung, multi-barrelled machine of destruction.
Small points on interest appeared across Williams vision, indicating the possibility of it being a Laser weapon and that the barrels rotated but the analysis program that was running in the back of his mind could deduce no more secrets from it without physical manipulation.

The cheetah tried his best to sound dramatic; "This" he began. "This is the latest in current portable laser technology. I present to you, the MRT065. Also known as the Medium range Reconnaissance Turret, also known as it's nick name after the late wrestler; Mr. T."

"Sounds impressive, what's it do?" William stupidly replied.

"Wha...what's it do? come here and I'll show you"

William walked over and examined the large machine. The technician caught his attention for a second to explain some basic safety principles before saying; "It's actually too heavy for someone like me, or any other soldier to lift. You are pretty much the only person who can operate this thing without a vehicle to mount it on. So in order to demonstrate how it works, ill kind of have to guide you through it's usage. First place your right paw on the top handle and your left on the rear handle where the trigger is."

William did so but nothing of interest happened.

"Oh, try taking your gloves off, your paws have to make contact with the handle directly for a proper connection"

William removed his thick gloves and repeated his last actions. This time a package of data filled his vision, weapon specifications flickered to the corner of his eyesight and another bar related to power consumption illuminated to his right.

"Normally something this large requires it's own power source, but this model has been optimised for you, with the electrical connection through your paws it will use the power from your new reactor for itself. You will find the power requirements quite small compared to other tasks you shall be accomplishing in the future however. Now if you would please move to the window and aim down range."

William lifted the gun from the trolley and walked easily toward the window on the firing range. At the end was a large painted red target which, according to the new data scrolling across his vision, was made of three inch steel plate.

"Now sight down range at the target, remove the safety and pull the trigger" the cheetah instructed.

William focused on the target and prepared himself, suddenly one of his eyes went black then returned in a rather confusing way. His right eye was now looking along the iron sight of the weapon and a large cross-hair was plastered across the image.
"It must have interfaced with my vision program for better aiming capabilities" William thought to himself.

He lined up the target and Pulled the trigger, there was a short delay as the rotating barrel spun to a frightening speed then unleashed a beam of blinding blue light at the steel plate. William's eyes polarised themselves to protect the photo-receptive diodes within them as the steel plate was melted into a puddle of molten metal. William was so shocked that he prematurely released the trigger.

The weapon resumed it's unassuming position and quietly hummed and hissed as the device cooled itself.

William examined the damage caused. The plate was gone, only a puddle of rapidly cooling slag remained, the concrete wall behind the plate was missing a large round section and was severely scorched in the surrounding area.

The cheetah was both shocked and slightly angry at this; "I told him! I bloody told him we needed a thicker target plate and dissipation coverings put in place! But noooooo, he thinks he knows better! He always thinks he knows better."

After the little rant was over he said; "You keep getting yourself familiar with Mr. T there while I go and get the last piece of gear for you."

William fiddled and examined with the large turret type gun for several minutes before deciding to place it back on the trolley from where it had come from. As soon as he released the handles his vision returned to normal, warning and information free.
What a day it had been so far, he was almost exited to go out with his new abilities and equipment to grind the enemy into a pulp, hopefully the one who he was supposed to capture before his accident, like a form or revenge.

His thoughts were interrupted again when the spotted cat returned again with a large pile of what looked like red fur. He dumped it on the table and brushed some fluff off his nose.

"This is your new fursuit, your current one was only knocked up hastily to allow you some sort of normality during your trauma, this one has much more R&D put into it believe me" he explained.

It took several minutes for William to remove his clothing and old fake fur covering. Just like last time it was rather scary for him to see himself as he really was, a mechanical android with electrical and mechanical parts all moving in unison.
Piece by piece the two of them worked to cloth his metal body in this new form of fur. William's limited feel ability in his fingertips detected that this was far softer than the previous type, more silky in a way. It reminded him of what his own fur used to be like before all of this.
The technician worked around his back, while doing so plugged something into a vacant socket near Williams tail. Finally he zipped William up and fluffed the fur over the small zipper to cover it over.
"There, happy with this newer model?" he asked.

"First impressions are favourable, yes I do like it. have you got a mirror?" Asked William.
The technician grabbed a mirror from under his desk and handed it to William.

"Amazing!" exclaimed William. Looking back at his own eyes was his old face, or what looked to be his own face. Almost an exact replica of his former self, flawless to even the most detailed eye. The main give away was the lack of complexity in muscle movements, simple ones were detectable but complex compound movements simply were not possible with the machinery he had been issued with.

"Now" began the cheetah, "I'm not entirely sure how your programming will react to this but try thinking really hard about being sneaky, plaster yourself against that wall over there next to the door as it you were about to kick it down and storm the room" he instructed.

William did so, sidearm raised, tail limp and ears perked he pressed himself flat against the wall. A strange sensation ran down what would have been his spine if he had one to speak of and a small transparent icon appeared on his display.

"Well done Will" congratulated the technician.
"What have I done?" asked William as the cheetah handed him the mirror for a second time.
William took the mirror and turned it to face himself, but he could not see his face, nor could he see his paw holding the mirror. The plastic and glass item floated randomly in space approximately where his paw should have been.

"Active Camouflage" explained the cat before William could ask. "It pretty much makes you invisible when you stand still and very hard to spot when moving. But it only lasts for a limited time before the photo cells within your new fur reach their duty cycle and must switch off to cool down."

"This has got to be one of the coolest things ever! why doesn't everyone have one of these?" asked William.
"Because you are looking at over three billion dollars worth of technology right there, not to mention yourself. As you stand there you are a total cost of five billion dollars and that's not including Mr. T over there."

"But think of the lives it could save!"

"You know as well as I do that the top brass think that a soldier is expendable, while not an asset to waste they are not worth spending several billion dollars on to save. The truth hurts don't it, consider yourself lucky that you have been brought back."

"Lucky is not the word I would have chosen" replied William darkly, becoming visible once more.

Captain Chaser barged into the room unannounced and took one quick look at the clothless fox standing before him.
"You! get dressed and grab your gear. We're rolling out in three minutes and you had better be ready Will. The time has come for you to prove to me that you were worth saving from that rocket pack explosion."

William calmly walked over to the trolley, grabbed his clothes under one arm, his sidearm under his armpit and hoisted the MRT onto his shoulder.
"Waiting on you now captain" He said gruffly.

weeeeee i did it. good thing i finished it when i did. my brain is starting to go to bed without me.
incorperated Rabbits suggestion and Mylo's letter.
though i think i should have given the technician a name.

onto Glass next time.
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Old Rabbit on September 04, 2012, 12:10:36 pm
Nicely done as usual Typing.  I kinda thought a new suit would fit the
story well. 

Now you have lots of possibilities for William and his new life.

Oh! That's a new word  "possibilities"  :orbunny:
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on September 05, 2012, 06:27:24 am
The government seems to have not spared any expense when it came to William.

This presented an interesting issue, too much good in one direction. have to answer the 'why'.
today i think i solved the issue, will write it in now!
so back to William again, it seems he might make a good novel some day with some modifications and fleshing out.


William crouched low in the long grass, keeping the MRT in close proximity so as to not make any noise when the time came to pick it up.
While he waited for the sun to set and his operation to begin he pondered what the captain had told him during the flight.

"Why?" he had began to ask; "Why spend so much money on me? Surely the funds would be better spent on upgrades to soldiers armour or standard issue weapons, I'm worth as much as about ten fully armed battle tanks. What is so special about me?"

The captain sat in silence for several minutes, calculating his response to give to the android.
"You are worth more than you think. Because of your skill set you are now able to carry out missions that a whole platoon could not. You require minimal support, no food or water, no shelter, less supplies. All of these things combined will save lives of valued soldiers. You can carry out the higher risk objectives where even a small squadron of tanks would fail with your stealth ability and raw fire-power to boot" Explained Chaser in detail.

William pondered this information then asked one last question; "Why me? Surely I'm not the only one who faced death and was eligible to be drafted into this program."

"Why you? I'll tell you 'why you'. Because you are the only one of those candidates who followed orders to the letter, you are the only one level headed enough to control your new body. You were selected because of your calm personality. That's why."

The sun had set, the thoughts of the conversation settled over William, making him feel like he had a greater purpose. Darkness had settled over the enemy encampment, somewhere within the base was a hostage who had been taken from them in the dark of night. No one even notices his absence until the demand video was broadcast. The enemy was a large band of drug lords who were sick of having to constantly evade the authorities and as a result had banded together to wage a war. Now this would not have been a great issue, the small band could have been crushed within a week; but the result was the rousing of the entire country. They all rose up and wanted freedom from their financial depression. The only way they saw fit for this result was war. Unfortunately this was the result, a 6 month long war between two countries.

William slowly stood up, grabbing the large laser turret as he did so, and activated his camouflage. It was fascinating to watch; like water flowing over his body, starting from his chest as he slowly turned from his red and white self into a shimmering transparent image. The image flowed over his arms and then through the connection between his arm and the MRT's own photoreflective cells, which in turn activated. The transparent image on himself faded and was replaced with a ever so slight shimmer of light where the image from behind him was reproduced on his front, causing it to be warped.

"Now all I have to do is avoid knocking anything over with my tail, or anything else for that matter" He thought to himself.

Walking without being able to see your various body parts moving in sequence was highly disorientating, he was even granted bonus peripheral vision due to being able to see through where his muzzle normally was.

He crept forward slowly, using his ever useful night vision to watch for any movement, he had to get out of this long grass as fast and quietly as possible so that no one would see it moving around him.
As he exited the grass and onto the open camp ground, a guard rounded the corner holding a powerful flash-light.

William froze in place, but the sudden movement of him stopping caused one final stomp of his foot.
The guard looked up and shone his torch straight at William. Thankfully the camouflage was doing it's job and hid the red fox from view. But the Guard was not convinced, the big burly armed raccoon ran up the hill toward William, stopping just a few feet in front of him to shine his light around the area. Spotting nothing of interest he turned to leave but paused at the last second. He noticed a depressed section of grass, right where William was standing. Interest perked and the raccoon un-holstered his weapon and reached out toward Williams direction.

William was frozen stiff, unsure what to do he remained still in case the problem solved itself. It didn't.
The masked animal didn't stop, as his paw came into contact with Williams chest, instinct drove him into action.
The procyon recoiled at the contact and William dropped his gun, leapt over the furry guards head and landed squarely behind him. Startled the guard fired his pistol randomly into the darkness but before being able to pull the trigger a second time, William whacked his metallic paw to the back of the guards head. The raccoon collapsed to the ground, knocked out cold.
William got to work dragging the body into the long grass and hog tying and gagging the guard with his own uniform.
The shot would have surely gotten the attention of the rest of the force so he had to move quickly. Exiting the grass for a second time he grabbed his gun again and sprinted toward the camp as enemy soldiers streamed out of the various buildings like angry ants from their hill.

"This is what I've been built for so lets get some results" William thought to himself as fear washed over him at the sheer insanity of it all. Had he been visible at all, and mortal for that matter, he surely would have been shot on sight there and then.

He dodged between two of the advancing enemies and took cover against the corner of a concrete building.
From where he stood he could see the soldiers all fan out in all directions searching for the source of the disturbance.

Short cut off this time, i WANT to write more...but i want to watch The Avengers on my phone more XD

Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Old Rabbit on September 05, 2012, 12:50:40 pm
More good writing. I know it's hard to stop when your
in the groove so to speak..

This story would make a nice novel and is worth keeping
for the future. :orbunny:
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: DarkDemon on September 05, 2012, 03:32:34 pm
I love it! I could give you a long list of people who would read that novel! :D Please continue writing!
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on September 05, 2012, 04:20:26 pm
Glass (part 2):

Everyone had evacuated the area searching for him and the camp was plunged into an eerie silence.
William switched to infra-red vision to search for anyone remaining that would fit the description of someone in a hostage situation. It did not take long, his eyes passed over a building with no windows and a glowing figure inside laying on the floor in one section and what looked to be a guard sitting on a chair in the opposing corner.

Quietly he padded up to the door and tried the handle, ready to dispatch the guard should he be alerted to his presence. The guard remained motionless but the door was also locked, this presented him with a noisy alternative. He ran around the back of the building behind the wall the guard was sitting and de-cloaked. Grabbing Mr. T with both hands he allowed vast quantities of electricity to flow into the multi-barrelled weapon.
One last check around proved that there was no more hidden assailants and so he powered up the laser turret. The barrel began to rotate, glowing red at each tip as it gathered speed. William braced himself and pulled the trigger. A great stream of bright red light pierced the darkness and completely wiped out the wall in front of it. over the sound of the laser he heard the horrific sound of breaking glass, so much glass. He waved the beam up and down to sweep away any overhanging parts of building then released the trigger. The dust was too think for any normal person to see through but since this did not bother William he pressed into the room. The guard was nowhere to be found but the simple barred cell was still intact, within was his objective. A lioness named Tessa, his previous commanding officer.

"Tessa" he said, hoping she could hear him after the previous noise.
"What's happening?" she screamed.

William raced toward the bars, pulled two of them out of the ground like they were nothing more than match sticks and began working on Tessa's bonds, first removing her blindfold.
While he worked on her leg ties he noticed the large pile of multicoloured smashed glass in the now open room space. It was all in various shapes and complex patters like a chemistry set but was in a full rainbow of colours.

"You shouldn't have come, this entire base was set up as a trap" Tessa informed him.
"Well that is unexpected, just means we are going to have to be fast about this, can you run on all four?"
"Excuse me soldier?"
"Ma'm, I mean no disrespect but can you run on all four? you know as well as I do that it is much faster than running bipedal."
"Who are you, to think you can make requests like that? where is your commanding officer?"
"I am a friend of yours, your rescuer and my commanding officer decided to sit this one out, along with any support. So will you please follow me outside."
"You and I are going to have a long talk when we return to base, If we can achieve that alive" Tessa grumbled.

The two of them walked outside the destroyed building and headed toward the hillside where William had entered the area. Looking up there was a nasty sight visible, over two hundred soldiers looking down on them, rifles raised.
One of them, William assumed their leader, stepped forward and spoke to them in a foreign language. William's translate immediately understood the words; "Drop your weapon and surrender or we will open fire and destroy you."

"He says he wants you to surrender" Informed Tessa.
"Just shut up and get behind me, be ready to run."

William had had enough of this mission already, stuck with a disrespectful commander and faced with a firing squad. It was time to get out of here.
Once again he took a wider stance, braced his left leg behind him as he gripped the Turret again. He redirected as much power as he could to the MRT and it spooled up faster than ever. William pulled the trigger and began to lay waste to the hillside, sweeping the red beam up and down while yelling at the top of what would have been his lungs.
Back and forwth he swept, as if mopping a floor littered with little black ants.

when he could no longer see anything due to dust he shouted "Run!" and they both did so. Tessa streamed along side him, running of all four of her paws while William lopped along beside her lugging Mr. T with him......

to be continued more methinks, gotta go to work. Need to explain what the smashed glass used to be, what it was for.
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: DarkDemon on September 05, 2012, 05:24:39 pm
*GASP* The supense!!! :D Maybe that stuff in the glass should have been some kind of new germ war-fare thing!! Or a biochemical weapon! That'd give you a reason for the government spending so much monee's! Or, maybe the government has bad guys who want this crazy stuff that could be extra useful with new cyborg stuff or even some new weapons or bombs!!! :o ((Sorry, I just think those ideas would be really cool to see in writing form :3))
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Old Rabbit on September 06, 2012, 12:54:09 pm
Nothing like keeping the readers wanting more.  :D

Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on September 08, 2012, 09:02:11 am
here we go again.

Glass (Part 3):

William pounded along through the dust, Tessa coughed a few times trying to get a clean breath of fresh air as they ran.
They could both hear people moving in the dusty darkness, William was about to change over his vision from night to infra-red again when a ear-splitting crack echoed through the night followed by a distinctive 'ting' noise.
William lost vision in one of his eyes and the other lost colour and returned to normal vision mode. He was not about to let this slow him down however, with his spare arm he scooped up Tessa, ignoring her complaints and redoubled his speed.

"Put me down you idiot!" squealed Tessa as they blasted through the treeline and into the think forest toward the extraction point.
"Not until we're out of the danger area, the extraction point is another three miles from here. That last shot hit me it seems" He said.
"You're injured? Where's the blood?" yelled Tessa over the rushing air.

'She doesn't know about me?' William queried to himself. 'As if the strength and speed were not dead give away's.'

To discourage her curiosity he said "Don't worry about me, lets just get out of here."

More shots echoed through the air but none came close again and soon the welcoming arms of the recovery team were in sight.
As they reached the chopper the flight crew took Tessa into the aircraft while another escorted William to the rear door and instructed him to sit down.
"You're being re-deployed three clicks north" explained the crew member.

"Already? I can't, I'm down an eye and have lost complicated functions in the other. Operating effectively in the dark with these two impairments would be unwise" said William.

"Which is why we've got a technician on board for you, get inside and lay down, exposing the damage if you please"

William boarded and stowed Mr. T then lay down on his belly as the chopper shook under him, leaving the ground behind.
Tessa was strapped into her seat only a few feet from where he lay. She was thoroughly confused when the technician squatted beside the fox with a toolbox rather than a medical kit.

"What's dammaged?" asked the small
Squirrel as he prepared some tools.

"No idea you tell me" retorted William.

"that's not how this works, open your diagnostics menu and tell me what's fried"

"And how do you propose I do that?" growled William, he had already had enough of being treated like a machine.

"Say 'open diag' nice and clearly, that's how you are supposed to open all menu's or didn't you read the manual?"

"You guys never game me a manual!" He yelled.

"What's going on? are you going to stop the bleeding or not?" asked Tessa franticly.

"Open Diag" said William as instructed, he just needed to get this mess over and done with. Three seconds after finishing the verbal command a list of components appeared before his eyes. Scrolling down there were three highlighted in red marked as 'damaged'.

"The triple five circuit is down and so is the comparator, both will require parts or replacement according to the readout" William informed the Squirrel.

The technician mumbled something about 'attitude' then went to work. Tessa however, gawked at the process like a slack jawed idiot. William decided to stimulate a constructive conversation as his remaining eye went dark.

"What was all that glass work next to your cell Tessa?" he asked.

"You, your not...not a fox. You're an android!" she stammered out.

"Yes yes, look lets get past that, you will be debriefed when you get back to base, but for now can you answer my question?"

"The glass, the glass. Oh the Glass! From what I could understand from it and what they talked about, it was some sort of chemistry set. They are attempting to develop a chemical weapon and I had a hunch that I was to be the test subject."

"I see" said William, almost laughing at the ironic statement he had just made.

"Do you know anything about what they had planned?" she asked.

"Not a clue, my objective was to rescue you then escape, that is all."

"I can't hold it in any longer, Are you completely robotic or is all that some kind of prosthetic?" she asked gesturing at his body.

"The first is correct I am not all that ecstatic to report. I was once a soldier serving under you, though you might not remember me."

His vision returned with a flicker and his eyes began adjusting their focus to the correct level.

"Thanks" he said to the Squirrel.

"No worries, just make sure you look out for the bullets next time, these parts are not cheap!"

A voice came over the helicopters speakers; "Opening rear doors, be ready to jump in thirty seconds"
"Looks like I don't have time to catch up properly Tessa" he said as he stood up and put on a parachute from the rack.

"No doubt the captain will drag us into a room for a meeting soon in any case" she replied.

William took one last look around the cargo bay then jumped out the back as the clock reached 00:00.

i think that can safely finish glass. man i'm tired.
if you can be bothered, constructive critizism is welcome, pick holes. what DON'T you like?

Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on September 08, 2012, 09:34:38 pm
Possibilities and Satellite next, but I wanted to put a final addition to the previous story:

William detached his chute when there was only a 30 foot drop remaining. He landed with a heavy footed thud in a small clearing, using his powerful legs to soak up the impact. Recovering from his descent he shrugged off his parachute pack then he took a quick look around the thick, dark forest that surrounded him.
It was then with great regret that he realised that he lad left the MRT on the helicopter!
William put a paw over his eyes and shook his head, "Why am I so stupid sometimes?"
As if to answer his question there was a slight whistling sound followed by a deafening 'Thud' before he and his surroundings were engulfed in flying dirt particles and dead leaves.

William brushed the debris off his face and head and looked toward the source of the impact. A few steps away was a gouge in the earth about four feet long, he walked over to it and looked into the hole. There covered in dirt and leaves with a little note attached was Mr. T.
William threw back his head and laughed, what a scenario. "You're tougher than I thought" he said to the big gun.
He hoisted the weapon from its crater and read the note attached; "You forgot this - Tessa."

William scrunched the paper and stowed it then shook the dirt off his gun and radioed base for his orders while he walked of into the gloom.

i just thought of that and thought it to be a kinda cool comedic break up. whatever, i liked the idea hehehehe
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: DarkDemon on September 08, 2012, 09:43:25 pm
Hmm... Well, since you're tired I can understand :P You made just a few spelling errors here and there but it was just simple stuffs, you know? The other thing is, also this happens to me when I'm tired and writing, this part seemed to go by fairly quickly. Like you just stated what happened, you didn't really write it... If you even understand that, I'm pretty tired my self *shruggz* But overall, it was pretty good ^^ From what I've read, you can do much better :3
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on September 09, 2012, 12:13:26 am
Thanks Dark, i appreciate it. it would do me good to proof read my stuff before posting it ha, at least run it over MS word. i type it in the posting window. but even then i noticed i placed the word 'game' in a totaly retarded location  x_x

maybe i should get off my butt, clean the house then get back to it before it gets late.  :P
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Old Rabbit on September 09, 2012, 11:24:52 am
It's good to do rewrites and proofs, but it's up to you as this is a good place
for feedback.

By the way. I made a mistake when I refered to William as a andriod. He
would be a cyborg unless he really is all machine.

Just a thought. You could have the tech tell William to see the manuel
just ask for it like he did the diagnostic. "Say view tech manuel or user
manuel"  That could be something for a later chapter. Don't want to
make it too easy for William.  :D

Keep up the good work.

Oh! and there is a good word. "Cyborg"  :orbunny:
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on September 16, 2012, 07:03:44 am
breaking the rules here, i wanted to draw a comic on this but it wasn't coming out right.

pre-required information before reading:
Today we were all issued uncomfortable hard hats at work
Nuts is the guy who is always in the workshop and has a 'steriotype' hanging about him for miss treating apprentices (he dosen't of course but he's a pretty....crochety old man)

I've written a story based on these work characters before so i'll pick up there with their data.

Hard Hats:

Lee tapped away quietly at the keyboard, his claws clicking each key in turn followed by a dull thunk of the space bar.

sighing, he leaned back on his chair, put his arms behind his head and stretched his back. But rather than the sharp sound of stiff joints re-arranging themselves he was met with an entirely different noise; Thud, Thud, Thud.

"What the hell is that old prick up to now?" he grumbled.

Donning his new hard hat, high visibility vest and safety glasses he left his office and made his way toward the large white shed that was the workshop.
Forklifts zoomed past in all directions as he crossed the yard, Hink almost ran him over due to the high and wide load he was carrying on his own forklift.
Once out of that minefield of vehicular activity, Lee began paying more attention to the 'Thunk' noise, which was sounding more like a 'clock' than a 'thunk'.

The wolf flung open the door, slightly annoyed at having to leave his peacfull office and beheld something he had not expected one little bit.

Nuts was standing near the wall, holding a smaller member of his own species and ramming the hard-hatted apprentice into the wall again and again.
The apprentice had a strange blank look on his face and seemed to mind not every time his head was rammed into the concrete wall.

"What the heck are you doing you friggin idiot!" Yelled Lee over the noise.

"Ahh i'm jus seein' how good these new fangled hard hats are boss" replied the one eared fennec.

Lee's only response was to place a paw over his face, hang his head and return to his office.

yes it's very short, yes it's probably riddled with 'in' jokes. but i wanted to write it anyway for my own enjoyment. ive been very busy of late and have not had all that much time to write.
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Old Rabbit on September 17, 2012, 11:51:39 am
I wouldn't worry about how short a story is. Your doing a
fine job. :orbunny:

One thing to keep in mind on comic's is one generally
makes a page of drawings to cover a paragraph of writing
or dialog. Of course that's not cast in steel, but a good rule
to follow.
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on September 19, 2012, 04:10:02 am
Possibilities, Satellite and Cyborg. one clearly has to be geared toward William methinks ha.


"Life is full of choices" lamented the Raccoon to his Lupin friend as they walked along the street.

"What suddenly brought this subject up?" She asked.

"Nothing in particular, just its that. well, do you ever wonder what would have happened if you did something different in your past?"

"No not really, the past is past as they say."

"Yeah but what if for instance, you had a bowl of cereal for breakfast this morning rather than toast, the energy difference could have affected your performance in gym class today."

"Does it really matter Daniel?"

"No not really Sasha, but what if it did?"

"Then I suppose if I did have toast for breakfast this morning it is entirely possible that I could have achieved another score on the 'beep test'. There are too many other factors that could have determined the outcome. Like how determined I was or how fast I reacted" Sasha explained.

"You're still a lot faster than me though"

"Hey that's not fair, it's my species. Totally unfair comparison."

Daniel loved having Sasha hanging around as a friend like this. He was the only Raccoon in school and because of this wasn't really automatically accepted into any of the usual groups.
He had no idea why the wolf had befriended him, there were plenty of her own species around to hang out with and they often asked her to join them but for unknown reasons she stayed with the Raccoon.

Daniel fixed up his crooked school tie then asked; "Why don't you spend more time with your own kind anyway?"

"Uhh, they seem nice from a distance as you see them. But once you get to know them, total idiots. Well, at least the ones I've talked to in schools. Always thinking they are so great and mighty. In reality they are no different from anyone else, they don't even show modesty about their abilities like you do."

"I wouldn't call having a higher sense of touch a great ability" muttered Daniel, looking at his paws.

"And you have a much cuter tail" she giggled and flicked it with one of her feet between steps.

The two friends ordered some chips from the shop and sat outside to eat.

"Ok then, If I chucked a sickie today, would you have come down to the shop? That choice alone would have affected the future" Daniel started before stuffing a few of the fried potato fingers in his mouth.

"No, If you did not come to school today I'd probably end up in the library or maybe exacting some smart comments on the other wolves. So yes that would have had a direct affect on what my activities today would have involved" she said.

Daniel chuckled, "Yeah I remember the last time you stirred them up, even the teachers thought it was funny as!"

"I don't get why they were so mad, it was only a paint bomb" she said then let out a bellow of laughter.

"Yeah he deserved it so bad, nice colour choice too. Bright florescent, glow-in-the-dark pink suited him so well"

They both were laughing now. Sasha almost fell off her chair, as she tried to catch herself from falling she knocked the bag of chips onto the footpath in front of them, spilling them everywhere.

"Oops" she said as the seagulls attacked, swooping down from everywhere to feast on the fallen food.

"Nice one, now they'll be hanging around for ages all asking for more with their 'mine mine mine' calls" said Daniel, rolling his eyes.

"Oh? And what if I do this" she said then picked up the smaller raccoon and ran back toward the school with him. "If we don't hang around then they can't annoy can they?"

"Not exactly what I had in mind" grunted Daniel as he jostled in her grip. "You know I am perfectly capable of walking myself don't you?"

"Oh ok, you're just so small compared to me. Kinda cute actually" she said putting him down.

"You know I hate being called cute" whispered Daniel.

"Anyway, common, we'll be late for class if we don't get a move on. Or are you too busy wondering what would happen if we didn't show up?" laughed Sasha, running off with Daniel in tow.

that was different. guests for tea, if i didn't have them i reckon I'd write some more.

Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Old Rabbit on September 19, 2012, 11:29:56 am
That was a bit different. Nice job on the dialog. :orbunny:
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Mylo on September 19, 2012, 04:38:40 pm
That was a bit different. Nice job on the dialog. :orbunny:

Yes, it resembled a movie script.  Nicely written. :)

I haven't given you a word in a while, so how about, spirit...
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: DarkDemon on September 19, 2012, 10:32:40 pm
I liked that last one :D and the one before it, I just got a chance to read them :3 but it was pretty interesting ((I like the paint-bomb thing! XD Epic))
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on September 26, 2012, 07:42:20 am

It's cold and it's hot. Dangerous and unforgiving. But it is also peaceful and majestic. The earth looks so beautiful from where I'm floating high above it in microgravity. All the colours seem to be enhanced against the pure blackness of space behind it, even if it is speckled with countless unexplored stars and galaxies.

It's been two months since the war ended and i've become rather redundant for my original purposes. But being me does have it's perks.

My name is William, two years ago I was involved in a fatal wartime accident. I died. Due to some unforeseen character perks and a fair amount of luck I was selected to be the candidate for a revolutionary new type of robotic experiment. The result was a completely robotic copy of my former self, a rather scary concept as not a single part of my biological self remains. Thankfully it worked and I was able to return home in a few months to meet my family once again.

Now with the war over and the diplomatic situation on the repair, the forces have allowed me to live a free life as I once did before with a few restrictions. Pretty obvious things like to not use my strength for unfair advantages in certain situations, and to part with my various weapons that I carried for the past 2 years. Though of course there have been the odd occasion where I just may have surprised a overly-confident person in a challenge or two hahahaha.

Now, as a personal favour and part of a job, my commander rang me up the other day and asked if I wanted to being my family into space. I said yes but there was a catch, they wanted me to fix a few issues with the space station on the outside. The job was too tedious for a normal crew to carry out because the current space suits only allowed a few hours outside the pressurised interior while I can spend as long as I want outside.

So now I am floating outside the satellite with a small jet pack on my back and a tool belt around my waist. There's a few wiring issues that I just finished up before waving to the missus and the kids through the small window.

I can't imagine how they'd be feeling, no gravity holding them down, that feeling of falling might be similar I'd say. I cant feel anything, I'm all bolted together pretty solidly haha.

One last look around the space station's hull and ill head back in. Probably shouldn't be making a E-journal entry while on the job, but hey. Being half computer always has some up-sides right? and what's the boss gonna do? fire me? ha, he'd have fun getting someone else to do this job.

This is William Fennec signing off, good night all.

hey that was different also, short and sweet. a pre-log to details for william, if only basic while delving into my FAVOURITE area of stories....the aftermath. what do hero's do when there are no more bad guys to match their 'super' powers.

Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Old Rabbit on September 26, 2012, 11:20:47 am
I see you put William an family out in orbit.  Kind of a space fox family with
a robot dad instead  :D

Keep up the good work.

Old Rabbit :orbunny:
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Mylo on September 26, 2012, 04:51:38 pm
That journal entry added a lot of character to William.  :)  It kind of reminded me of Avatar or Alien when Jake and Ripley would do journals like that.  Keep it up!
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: DarkDemon on September 30, 2012, 08:34:36 am
I liked that journal but a question popped in my head while reading it. He doesn't need oxygen, right? And he was in a space suit? Sorry, I'm pretty tired :P can't really pick out the details!! Oh, and here's a word :D  Time    .... Also, can he grow? O.o
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on October 07, 2012, 07:27:53 am
i forget what word i am up to...lets go with


"So what's it like?" Asked Dave as he walked beside his old friend.

"What do you mean? Like emotional changes or physical?" asked Shaun as he padded along beside.

"I thought the question was pretty obvious, but i'll outline it just for you" started Dave sarcastically. "How do you feel since you exited the program that resulted in your very strange transformation?"

"You already know half of my story. Crazy madman, super spy, unplanned results yada yada" replied Shaun.

"Thats not the point, I know you don't get much time out between your current military involvement but I want to know what it 'feels' like to be an animal."

"Right, now I understand what you're getting at. forgive me for being a stupid fox as per usual."

The two stopped at a park bench and Dave sat. Shaun also sat on the bench but it was rather awkward getting to that position with legs bent like they were. Not to mention the tail.

"Ok so the first thing that I noticed was eyesight. Its not like human in any way, but nor is it entirely animal according to Dr Parva. The program was designed to hybridise certain aspects to produce the best possible hybrid. As a result I have the clarity and movement detecting of the fox while retaining the colour and sharpness of the human eye." Explained Shaun slowly so that he would not be required to repeat himself.

"So that sign way up the street there held up by that man. What does that read?" said Dave as he pointed along the busy street.

"Time is short, the end is nigh" Said Shaun with confidence. "But you and I both know that he always writes that same message up on his sign. Is that old fruitloop ever gonna give up?"

"Doubt it very much. Speaking of time, How much of it do you have? Will you live a normal lifespan?" asked Dave, his eyes lighting up with curiosity.

"Not the foggiest idea. It's been a year since the incident and I don't feel like I've aged more than one human year, let along however many dog years that is."

"Yeah but you're not a dog" retorted Dave

"Same genus or something. Close enough for arguments sake."

The two just sat for awhile in silence, enjoying their newly refurbished friendship. Birds chirped and cawwed, making quite a racket.
Dave was getting annoyed at this. "Can't you bark or growl or something to make them shut up!?"

"When was the last time you saw a fox bark?" said Shaun rolling his eyes and raising an eyebrow.

"can't you do something?"

"I can do this." Started Shaun then screeched out a highish pitched coo that pierced the air and blocked out all other sound.
The birds all fell silent then flew off in a giant ball of feathers and chattering.

"What the heck was that?" yelled Dave, hands over his ears.

"It worked didn't it?" laughed Shaun.

ok so i disliked that, didnt flow well...i blame sleep lack of.  :-[

Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Old Rabbit on October 07, 2012, 12:29:57 pm
Though it probably could be touched up, it's not bad as is. Dialogs
don't often flow well unless they are rehearsed.

Also it depends on how it relates to the story. A
outsider listening nearby would likely find it a very
curious conversation.

Keep up the good work. :orbunny:

How about "curious" for a word.
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on October 25, 2012, 06:42:41 am
time for another long awaited chapter (at least by me) of my new favourite brainchild; William.


Smooth jazz filled the fox's head as he padded along beside his new commanding officer. The music helped calm his mind for the coming verbal abuse he would surely suffer from this new individual. It seemed to be a common trait among higher ranking officers, lamented William. That arrogance and degrading comments were part of the job somehow. He was rather fed up with it by now after several months in the field. He should at least have commanded some respect among the corps.

"Are you prepared for the testing Private?" barked the heavily muscled wolf.

"Sir, yes I am." replied William.

"Well I damn well hope so because If you're not, I'm gonna have you taken to the scrapyard and recycled into tin cans for other soldiers MRE's!"

William had finally had enough of this; "Sir, I respectfully request you use a different tone when speaking to me, It has begun to get on my nerves."

The Wolf stopped instantly, turned to face William and pointed one clawed finger at the robot and screamed with much flying spittle; "I will treat you exactly as I want to treat you! You are no flesh and blood soldier, you are only a piece of equipment and I will treat you as such! You don't even have spirit, let alone a soul!"

If William had blood, it surely would have been boiling by this point.

"Look here you, I don't want to be treated..." began William before being cut off.

"You dare to argue this point further? submit you bucket of bolts!"

Quick as a flash William raised a paw and rammed it into his superior officers throat and slammed him into the wall, cracking the concrete. The wolf's scowl had quickly turned to the wide eyed expression of pure fear. It was as if someone had stolen every ounce of his courage and thrown it out the nearest window.
William released his grip ever so slightly to allow the commander to take a wheezing breath.

"You listen to me very very carefully. I am just as much man as you are and I do not appreciate being treated like dirt. Not by you, not by your boss, not by anyone! I am my own master, I have free will, I do have spirit, and I do have a soul. No one can take that away from me!" growled William, tail swishing vigorously.

"You...you will be decommissioned for this" wheezed out the wolf.

"Decommissioned? No I don't think so, I'm far too important for that. You may be my superior, but only because command cannot have someone like me appear to have control."

"Who do you think you are?"

"Who do I think I am? I am a Father, a fighter, a protector, an assassin, a repair man, and a friend. That's who I am and there is no changing that. I might be made entirely of machinery, but I still care for who I am and what I do. Call it heart if you will."

William released his grip and allowed the wolf to collapse to the floor, dazed. The wolf looked up at his new adversary. William extended a paw to help the wolf up, he thought about it for a second then accepted the gesture.

"Despite what you might think, there is no reason you and I cannot be friends. As the age old saying goes, Treat others as you want to be treated yourself" elucidated William.
The commander gave a curt nod and straightened his uniform. "I shall take your comments into consideration. Also, I always thought the saying was 'Do unto others, before others do unto you'"

"Well you only have it completely backwards" said William with a very slight chuckle.

The pair continued their walk toward the testing chamber, now more as equals than ever before.

well that one felt better, wish it was a tad longer, was going to go into what a 'soul' in fact is from both characters opinions but ehh....also i think i need to work on setting the scene better. its something ive noticed missing from my other stories.
anyway, happy reading.

Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Old Rabbit on October 25, 2012, 11:39:05 am
That was a good read.  Tells a lot about William in a few
sentences.  :orbunny:
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Mylo on October 25, 2012, 05:43:30 pm
Nice to see you do my word Typing.  :)  If you've ever seen Full Metal Jacket...that's what I thought of while reading this piece.  Great job!  Now try...foreigner
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on October 26, 2012, 07:19:14 am
i was thinking of the exact same movie Mylo! good pickup  (:

thanks for the kind words as always Rabbit  :)
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on October 31, 2012, 02:10:45 am
in a kind of tribute to thoes affected by hurricane sandy i am going to use my own word and incorperate William into it.


The wind was still howling down the once busy street as William trudged through the knee-high water. The hurricane had hit the coast not twenty four hours ago and it had taken that long for him and his team to start a search and rescue attempt. Many had lost their lives to the storm and the resulting destruction and there was to be a memorial service the following week before the cleanup was planned to start.

But for now it was Williams task to assist in any way with the other rescuers and look for survivors. This task involved searching buildings and checking others for catastrophic structural damage.
William made his way into a flooded apartment block, first searching for survivors of those who were not able to evacuate in time. There was no one to be found on the first floor so now he walked to the basement entrance.

William hated getting wet, it would not be an issue for his various mechanisms but to him, the water still felt cold, and there was the task of washing and drying his fursuit afterwards. This was always a delicate task, he had to take care not to damage the spectroscopic fibres that allowed his active camouflage to operate.

With one last sigh he attempted to take a breath before diving in but was pulled up short. "Man i've still got a lot to get used to!" he grumbled, remembering that he no longer actually needed to breathe. With that he dived into the murky depths of the stairwell.

The water was pitch black so William was forced to cycle through his various vision modes until he found one that worked best for the task at hand. Everything was suddenly illustrated with bright white and dark blacks, texturing into a three dimensional looking view. "I forgot I even had infrared" thought William as he powered downward, kicking his legs and pulling forward with his arms. His tail was quite useful as a primitive rudder as he sped down the spiral to the lower level.

Just as he reached the bottom he heard a muffled voice, like someone trying to yell through a pillow in a closed room. Again it repeated its message, this time sounding a little more urgent. William jumped as his radio crackled in his ears and a voice came through saying; "Oi Will, get up here quick."

"What have you found? I've still got to finish my checks down here" he replied.

"Screw the checks we've got someone trapped under a house roof with a car on top, we can't lift it but we were kinda hoping you could."

"Yep i'll be out in a sec, try and keep them talking in the meantime."

"Will do."

William turned about, slightly annoyed that he had gotten wet again for no reason, and swam back towards the stairwell, glancing and scanning the structural pylons as he went.
Two minutes later he was outside shaking himself quickly before locating the rest of the team. They were two blocks down next to a collapsed fast food store trying to lever a large SUV off the roof of the building.

William sprinted towards them, stirring up a huge amount of spray as his legs overpowered the drag created by the water. Soon he had reached his target.

"What's the story?" He asked hurriedly.

"We can't see them but we've heard a few voices from under the roof, you might be able to take a look and see what kind of position they are in before we try and move anything" said the beaver, an engineer who was assigned to the demolition of unsafe buildings.

William said nothing and jogged over to the pile of rubble. Switching on his Infrared filter again and scanned the area under the car. Sure enough there were two individuals curled up beside what appeared to be a counter, a larger figure sheltering a smaller one.

"They look ok from here and they don't look to be in danger if we move some stuff about so lets get to it" he shouted to the beaver.

Steadily walking up to the car he found a good place to grab hold of and caught the attention of the five others around him. "Everyone, I can't see all that well when i try and lift this thing so can you guide me to that piece of vacant road just over there please" he instructed.

"Right...here we go" he said then rammed his fist through the SUV's door to grab the cross member and placed his other paw under the car. As he began to take the weight of the vehicle a counter and graph appeared in vis field of view displaying mass and an upper limit along with an overload indicator. Servo motors whined away quietly as the SUV slowly lifted from the roof and moved above the Fox's center of balance as he prepared to move.

One small tedious step at a time he walked forward, listening to the continuous stream of instructions that guided his footsteps toward the roadside. As he placed another boot encased paw on solid ground he glanced at the weight meter; 2.3 metric tons it read. William flicked his thoughts and it changed to a more desirable format, now reading 5070 pounds.
The rest of the team were frozen in place at the feat they were witnessing, of course it was not every day you saw a normal looking millitary fox lift up a car.
He took two more steps and the others told him to stop.

"Right o, stand back!" he yelled, sounding a little strained then leaned forward slightly and dropped the car. It fell to the road with a huge splash and a crunch as the suspension collapsed. Willam was now soaking wet again but didn't bother to shake this time but instead got to work on lifting the roof.
Thankfully it was much lighter and once he had it firmly held above his head he nodded for the crew to move in and grab the now visible rabbit's huddled within.

The team were a little shy at first, probably due to the fact they felt unsure about entering the area which was only held up by one person. William smiled and cocked his head in the direction of the rabbits to reassure them that it was fine.

The team entered and began procedure, checking for injuries before moving the two. During this time William took a moment to appreciate his lack of blood. Under normal circumstances, holding something above your head was tiresome at the least because oxygenated blood would have trouble supplying the arm muscles, this was not an issue for his autonomous body thankfully or this would have never been possible.

The two survivors were retrieved in a matter of minutes and William lowered to roof to avoid any sudden noises that would startle anyone.
Soon the beaver walked up to William and thanked him for his assistance. "Just make sure none of this leaves our team remember. My abilities are not supposed to be common knowledge" William reminded him.
The beaver nodded and returned to the mother rabbits side. The younger one croaked out "Who...who was that strong fox that lifted the roof?"
"No that was no one, it's a special lifting jack we use. you had better try and get some rest while the helicopter gets here. Won't that be fun, a helicopter ride" replied the beaver, changing the subject. The young rabbit smiled and nodded then closed her eyes for a nap.

William gave the beaver a thumbs up gesture and jogged away to continue his search.
The process would take several days, if not weeks to complete and the damage was colossal. One thing was certain, no matter how powerful he knew he was; never mess with mother nature.

RIP those fallen in the disaster.
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on November 12, 2012, 06:23:11 am
darnit! its getting late! Caffeine ACTIVATE!!!


He sits in the back of the classroom, all alone. Like some sort of unwanted smell that everyone is avoiding. The teacher says we are not to talk about him and treat him like any other normal human being. But we can't help but wonder what exactly resulted in a perfectly normal human ending up with a tail, big pointy ears, claws, fur and a muzzle. Teacher hinted to us that he was from overseas and involved in a genetics project that backfired, with no remaining family members there he was sent to live with his long distance uncle just down the road from the school.

Recess came around faster than expected, and with quadratic equations still haunting my mind i grabbed my snack and headed down to the cricket nets with my friends.
Nathan had just smashed his third ball and send it hurtling out of the boundary and down the street before asking; "How long has that guy been here anyway?"

"About a week now, but I've never talked to him nor caught his name" I replied.

"Strange fellow, besides the obvious. He keeps to himself a lot. Though I have seen him comment once or twice on some of the more complicated subjects in biology and science."

"You're not wrong, he's a bright kid."

Ben pointed with one finger and said in a low voice; "Oi, pipe down he's right over there!"
I snatched a glance in the direction that Ben was pointing toward the Vulpine figure slowly making his way toward a wooden bench to presumably eat his lunch.

"I think it's Shaun's turn, don't you Ben?" said Nathan cocking his head at me and then the lonely individual.

"What?" I complained.

"Go on, Go talk to him. Invite him over for a few bowls or something"

"Alright then, but it sure as hell ain't my turn next time!" I said as I turned toward the....well I suppose i can call him a fox, Even if he was human once.

When I was still a good ten meters away his ears twitched slightly, one rose and aimed at me, alerting him to my approach. I closed the distance a little more cautiously.
He looked up, his blue eyes bright in the hot Australian sun. I nodded the traditional stranger greeting toward him. He stared at me for a brief moment, analysing my body language, then nodded the greeting in return. With this modern day ritual over I moved closer and sat down on the bench, allowing him a few feet of personal space.

"I suppose you're here to ask questions?" He said, voice cold and icy with a hint of sadness. His analysis of my body language had cut clean through the inquisitive gestures i was trying so hard to suppress.

"I would be partly lying if i said no, My name's Shaun" I said, extending a hand to shake. A small smile quivered up the fox's muzzle and he took my hand in his 'paw' and shook. As we did so I could feel the rough compacted callused areas against my palm, much like that of a dog's and his claws lightly pressed against my wrist as our hands moved up and down in unison.

"Name's Ashley, but my net-friends all call me Firefox" said Ashley. "Do I really have to explain myself?" he whined.

"Actually I came over here to invite you over to the nets for a few rounds of cricket, would you like to join us?"

"Beats sitting here alone I can tell you" he said then stuffed half of his sandwich into his large mouth and stood up.

I got up and lead him back to my friends who were both huddled together like a couple of scared rabbits, It was such an amusing sight to see.
"Err, Hi" squeaked Ashley, trying to sound brave. Unfortunately his flattened ears and stiff tail gave away his emotional state even if he had announced himself with a bit more vigor.
None of us were of any help to his predicament as we kept staring at his visible body parts, from the small hole in the back of his school shorts to allow a tail to the movement of his ears as they twitched and moved in reaction to unheard sounds.

"Maybe I should just..." he was cut off as Nathan shoved the bat into his hands.
"Your bat mate, i'll bowl a few easy ones to start you off" he said with a grin.

Ashley took the bat and wandered into his position. I took up place behind the stumps ready to catch any missed balls, which I expected a few. But Ashley seemed to know what he was doing. He had himself positioned well, hips and knees slightly bent.
Nathan started his lead up run, I could tell it was going to be a low spin ball so I prepared myself. Nathan released the ball and it came hurling down the pitch toward the crease. It bounced once then began to curve downward. Ashley swung the bat and to all our surprise it connected right in the middle, sending the ball rocketing back the way it had come. It screamed past Nathan's head like a bludger from the harry potter movie and proceed to sail toward the boundary line.

"Nice one!" exclaimed Ben, clearly astonished.

"Er, thanks I guess. I've never even played before" said Ashley.

Nathan's expression went completely blank, I'd never seen it before. But Ashley saw something else in his and all our faces.

"Oh just ask already please, spare me the pain of seeing your puzzled faces day in and day out, I don't mind, really!" sighed Ashley, fed up with being the odd one out for so long.

"Ugh! I hate asking questions about others. Makes me feel rude and unclean" I growled.

"Just ask, put yourself and me at ease, please!" Ashley urged.

We all asked our questions in turn, learning something new from each one. About his past, how the incident happened, even if it was only skirting the edges. We also learned about the differences he had in sensory input compared to us. It was all so fascinating that it was quite a shock and almost sad when the bell rang for us to go back to class.

"See you tomorrow then? Same place and time?" I asked.

"Yeah i'd love to, maybe we can get a proper game in if you teach me the rules" replied Ashley. And with that we parted and went our separate ways. Ashley had a much more confident spring in his gait, also the small wag of his tail made me smile. I think we all made new friends today.

WEEEEEEEEEE that didn't feel half bad. but you are the judge!  ;)

Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Old Rabbit on November 12, 2012, 12:51:14 pm
Yes you did a nice job on that short story. Interesting
reference to the (Quidditch Bludger of the Harry Potter series.)

Old Rabbit :orbunny:

Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Mylo on November 12, 2012, 03:39:57 pm
Questions are always on people's minds...it'd be great if we could learn from them and just end any fantasies by asking questions...it helps us get to know each other. ;)

Great work again Typing!  Now, why not try writing a story about...art.
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on November 13, 2012, 05:50:11 am

that comes to mind hahahaha.


You can call it mess, you can call it abstract. But the simple fact is, anything creative is art really. From the secluded game designers 3D robot animation to the life-message grafiti hastily spray painted on the walls in dark alleyways. They all are in their own way art.

But art can also be a skill you possess. For example, being able to built watercraft. When it's put into production it's often overlooked and in my opinion, mass production removes the artistica value anyway.

But for me, my art is marksmanship. Down at the range with the rest of the club on saturday mornings is where I like to spend some spare time relaxing.
I take pride in my ability to quietly match the efforts of keener visioned species'. Barry is a hawk and usually lays next to me on the hay bails when we shoot. It's often an unspoken challenge between us to get one bullet through the same hole as a previous, much like the famed Robin Hood with his arrow.

"Ok, wanna go one more round?" asked Barry. "You're getting a lot better. I swear you're getting close to me these days too."

"Ha! I still don't understand how you pull that massive trigger with your feathers" I laughed.

We both sat up and began loading our magazines, it was almost as if we were even racing to see who could load up first. I have always loved this degree of fierce competition between Barry and myself. See? even his ability to load a magazine with fluid ease can be considered an art form, like dancing. It just isn't on paper like other types of art.

"Why don't you get a better rifle anyway? that thing must be forty years old by now." said Barry.

"Hey don't knock it! it's only a .22 i know but it still shoots straight" I replied snappily.

"You'd be able to make better ranges with a larger caliber"

"Look down the range, go on. can you not see bullet holes in my target?"

Barry looked at my target, i must admit i'm a little jealous for him not needing a scope for out little competitions, but on the other paw, his keen vision and flight ability costs him in other ways i suppose. Like trying to find any ergonomic furniture.

"You'd still be capable of much more I bet" he answered.

"The best bit is that i've only spend $6 on ammo this morning and you nearly spend that on nearly every shot with your dirty great 30-06!"

"Yeah yeah, at least I can make whatever I hit go away" he grinned.

We both finished loading up, chambered a round and lay down on the bench piece. I bumped the button to refresh the targets with my tail and sighted down the scope.
The target was well out of range for my rifle but if i lifted the barrel upwards a few mill-dots it was still accurate at the 150 meter range.

"Five rounds each, 15 seconds only. I'll go first" I announced.
I took a few slow shallow breaths of air then lined up the first shot, flicking my thumb forward disengaged the safety and I was ready. I held my breath for a moment and squeezed the trigger. Quickly without checking the results i cycled the bolt and took my remaining four shots.

"Time" I yelled then examined my results through the scope. Past the cross hairs I caught a glimpse of three holes, one larger than the other before Barry blocked my view with his wing.

"No peeking! My turn!" he said.

He moved so fast that I barely had time to flatten my ears and turn away as his cannon-like rifle exploded to life and shot gouts of fire and noise from its muzzle.
Before a mere 10 seconds had passed he was done.

"Top that" he said, withdrawing from his position with a smoking barrel.

"how long did I take?" I asked.

"Roughly 12 seconds."

We both got up and went to retrieve our results, which I must say were rather surprising. Barry's were up first, there were 4 large neat holes punched in the cardboard within the target area. We both nodded our approval at the effort then turned to mine.
To Barry's shock there were only 3 holes, one was slightly larger than the other two indicating that one of the rounds was not perfectly through the previous hole but even so, two round had indeed entered the hole of their predecessor!

"I win!"

"That's not possible! You can barely make that kind of range with that pea shooter!" grumbled Barry.

"Bow before your master Barry, you have much to learn" I joked. "Just call it my form of art" I finished.

hmm....another I am not sure about, good thing these stories arn't for school because I think i often break the rules/guidelines of it. But it dosen't really matter, its just training/fun right?

anyway...bed time, that's probably why it feels slightly rushed haha.
paws, out.
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Old Rabbit on November 13, 2012, 12:34:24 pm
A fun story that time.  Not always following the rules is part of the
creative process. 

Here is a good word that goes with Art. "Creative"  :orbunny:
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on November 17, 2012, 06:15:56 am

"Have you got anything to add to that Darva?" asked the bulky, spiffy suited lion at the head of the table.

"I have nothing further to comment." Added Darva, the buildings experimental Artificial Intelligence.

"Good, then I hereby call this meeting closed. Collect your possessions and return to your workstations" finished the lion.

Everyone got up and began to file out of the room, accompanied with the scraping of chairs on the wooden floor and the yammering of conversation. I returned to my cubicle and sat down in my well worn chair, the morning had been exhausting. Everything from complaining customers and difficult interactions with the boss to the hour long meeting that had consumed the remainder of his good mood.
I shut the door so others could not hear my actions and donned my headset.

"Darva, are you busy?" I asked curiously.

"Of course not, I am running rather under worked today as always. They never trust me with anything important tasks. Gets rather boring actually" He replied.

"What were your thoughts on the meeting? I could hear in your voice you weren't giving up what you really thought."

"It's interesting the way you put that. Since I am in essence a creation rather than a living being, I lack body language. So for you to say you could hear that I was not giving up what i actually thought is nice actually. Of all the employees here, you are the only one who treats me as someone rather than something. Anyway, what were my thoughts. Do you really want to know?" he chirped.

"Yes I do, especially yours since you sit back and can listen in on everything that goes on here" I replied.

"Well in that case. No I don't think the 'redundant' jobs were really needed. If they wanted to save money they should have at least cut the pay from the higher-ups who have such an exuberant amount, furthermore the new building they have in planning. The architecture utilised is far too picturesque, fancy if you will. This has driven the cost up for no functionality increase. Since functionality is what generates income then it is a grave waste of precious money and jobs."

Darva was sounding fairly angry at these arguments so I continued the conversation to try and calm him down a bit.

"I agree entirely, it just seems that everyone around here is too much of a wuss to put that thinking into words. On another slightly related note, you describe the look of the building. I didn't know you were very artistic?"

"You may never realise all the stuff I get up to in my spare time, turn on your screen and i'll show you exactly how creative I can be" he said almost cunningly.

I pressed the 'on' button on the screen and moved the mouse to wake the computer up. After the screen illuminated the desktop, Darva projected his avatar onto it.

"You've changed a bit since I last saw you" I commented.

"Thanks, I think this suits me much better than my previous 'floating illuminated cloud' look."

"Indeed it does."

Darva was now a monochromatic coloured green fox wearing a neat tuxedo and a top hat, cantered to one side to reveal one pointed ear. A pair of spectacles rested atop his muzzle and a cane in his right paw.

"Now, let me show you what else I get up to during the slow times."

The digital Vulpine walked across the screen and tapped the menu button with his cane, scrolled through various files then into a folder that I had never seen before. With a flick of his wrist, a security prompt was bypassed and the folder opened. Displayed across the screen were hundreds of picture files, each with a different title written in binary. It was as if Darva could sense what I was thinking because he answered my unasked question; "Just something I did as a kind of affirmation of who I really am, take a look at this" he said as he opened one of the files.
Colour flourished across the screen, flooding it with hues and other magnificent colours all mashed together into a painting of fantastic quality. There stood a hillside with a fully coloured version of Darva sitting on a northern face, bathed in sunlight while a rainstorm blossomed in a far corner while a bushfire raged in another. The 'painting' evoked both beauty and anger, joy and fear. All within the same instance, It was fascinating to look at all the fine detail that had been put into it. I must admit it is difficult to describe. Painting is often inaccurate in the methods, it looks fine all the same but this masterpiece i am sure could have been looked at under a microscope and the individual grass blades would be visible, much like a photograph. Yet it was still distinctly a painting, Or at least a digital representation of one.

"I'm lost for words Darva, this is amazing. I had no idea you were capable of such creativity" I stammered out, eyes wide.

Darva's avatar brightened and he beamed brightly at me. "Thank you" he said simply.
"There are many more as you can see but this is the one I am most proud of."

"How...How long did it take you to make these?"

"Most only a few hours but this one took me most of the week and used up forty one percent of my CPU capacity, and oh the rendering, it took so long!"

"Ha, no wonder the boss was whinging about power consumption lately, this is truly amazing. Why can't you show this to the world?"

"You're the first person I've trusted enough to show, It is a daunting prospect. Is it fear I wonder?" Darva queried.

"I was aware you were programmed with emotions but to see you 'fear' something like this is very intriguing"

For a moment I could have sworn that I saw Darva's avatar blush a light green but it vanished almost as fast as it had appeared. There was a knock on the door, it scared the living-daylights out of me! Then the bosses voice came through the door; "Shaun? are you in there? Have you finished that report I asked you for yesterday?"

"Crap! I haven't finished it yet!" I whispered.

"I got your back" Said Darva, his avatar winking as a file appeared on screen then began printing from the printer in the corner of the cubical.

"Thanks so much! You know, we really should talk more in the future. Friends?" I said, offering the only thing I could.

"Friends indeed, you really have no idea how much that means to me" he said beaming then making himself scarce from the screen before the boss barged in.

bedtime, kill this damn cold. i can see flaws in my flow but have issues correcting them. Also, is the double spacing i am employing for dialogue working out ok? it seems to defeat the 'great wall of text' but is it 'correct'?

This story is inspired from a dream of mine. I still eagerly await the day I can have a conversation with an AI on a sentient level. Cleverbot is not bad really, give it a few years. maybe towards the end of my lifetime i may realise this dream  :D
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Old Rabbit on November 18, 2012, 01:05:57 pm
Nicely done as usual.  I like the idea of the double space for
dialog.  Otherwise it would tend to run together in my opinion.

Now if your ending each line of dialog with who said it. Then one
wouldn't need the extra spacing.

How about "Transfiguration"  It should be good for furry fiction. :orbunny:
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Drake Fireborne on November 19, 2012, 09:41:48 am
Very nice! I also like the double spacing, let's it flow within the mind better. Your pretty good with words, I feel immediately attached to these characters, even though we only just met them. I'm sure if you wrote a novel I wouldn't be able to put it down xD

I still down have a word for you, but when I decide on a good one, you'll be the first to know xD I'm afraid I overthink things like this far too much... anyways, I'll come up with a word here at some point =D
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Drake Fireborne on December 11, 2012, 09:15:04 pm
OKAY! I got it! You ready? It's the best....
So, not really... anyways, I'm typing to much over one word...
Your word is: content (I mean it as in the state of happiness, but do what you want with it)
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on December 26, 2012, 07:19:44 am
Here we go then Drake!


My name is William, and I'm dead. At least technically speaking.
I am part of a military project that is designed to not only give soldiers a new lease on life but to also develop the ultimate asset for keeping the peace.

Minor issue is that I am a little bit of a pacifist. I don't like war, its a huge pain in the tail, which is why they let my out often to be with my family.

Today is boxing day and I'm here at the Northgate shopping complex with my wife Marianne and two children; Hugh and Sasha.
It is chaos as usual, there are kids running around everywhere with parents trying their hardest to keep up as they dart in and out of various shops. So much money is being spent today its a wonder they even call it a 'saving'.
Another thing I found out about myself today was the ability to literally tune out to certain sound frequencies and filter them from background noise. What a bloomin' relief I can tell you to be able to turn off babies crying! There are so many and I can now filter all of that out. Its fantastic!

"Daddy? can we go into that shop?" asked Sasha.

"But they are all dollies you wouldn't want any of them" Retorted Hugh.

"Hey now now you two" began Marianne; "Sasha will always like different things to you Hugh, But that doesn't make it any better or worse than you liking Actionman figures."

I have always admired the way she could control them when the time arose, even if this was a pretty minor case.

We spent the next few hours shopping around the complex, bargain hunting like everyone else. We even caught up with the local superhero; Captain Glenorchy while he was talking a break from his duty. This fellow was an ordinary mixed breed canine dressed up in tights who took it upon himself to walk around the large suburb and try his best to settle small disputes that would normally waste the valuable time of the local police force. Of course I knew that what he was doing was probably illicit but he was a nice enough fellow just trying to do his part to the community, as with all super hero's he always wore a mask so at least no one knows who he really is.

All of this activity, smiling and merry making makes me happy to be alive. I don't care for the technicalities but I am so content with my life. War may be part of it but it is ultimately worth it just to experience the beauty that we can create when we work together.

Just then the Captain went jogging past, asking people where the hardware store was. Puzzled I called him over to ask what the fuss was about.
"There's some kid up there with his head stuck in the hand rails. Do you know where the nearest hardware shop is so I can grab a crowbar or something?" he said.

"There's one just around the corner and to the left. Where's this kid?" I asked.

The Captain Glenorchy pointed with one of his surprisingly hairy paws toward a large crowd of people a few meters away before jogging off once again.

"Want to take a look?" asked Marianne.

I just rolled my eyes at her and beckoned for the kids to follow me.
The crowd was very thick, we had to push a little to get past and get a good view of what was going on. When we got to the hand rail I could see this young lion had somehow gotten his head pushed through the two vertical steel bars of the handrail and locked it in place, his patchy mane seemed to be making it hard for him to move his head around.

"Try twisting your head again" said what appeared to be his mother who was tapping her foot impatiently and glaring at the crowd menacingly.

This was stupid. Raising my voice to a level normally attained with the use of a megaphone and spoke quickly toward the ceiling; "Attention shoppers. Big W is currently having a 90% discount on all stock. Everything must go. No interest, no repayments until 2054. Get in fast to make use of these red hot deals!"

It worked, apart from the people next to me who were staring and looking slightly nervous. Marianne giggled as the crowd dispersed faster than free food at a wedding.
When there were only a few bystanders left we made our way forward.
"What have you done now?" I asked in a slightly mocking slightly comedic tone.

"He was stuffing about trying to impress his friends on the next floor down then got his head stuck" answered the young boys mother.

"Well lets see if I can help then shall I?" I offered. The lioness gestured for me to give it my best.

"You can bend the bars daddy can't you." blurted out Hugh. Marianne was quick to hush him however he was right, of course I could but there were people everywhere so it was going to have to be a little sneaky.

"Hey there buddy" I said to the lion cub.

"Uhh...hi" he replied, sounding extremely embarrassed, his heart rate displayed on my HUD to confirm this.

"I'm just gonna try and pull these bars apart a little bit at the same time as you twist and pull your head, if we time it right you should slip right out piece of cake."

"Oh....Ok then i'll try"

"Right then, on the count of three. One, Two...Three!" I gave the bars what I thought was a light pull in opposite directions at the same time the lion pulled his head, he slipped out no trouble but I had bent the bars a little too far. Quickly I started pushing them back to their original straight position, this thinking triggered a vertical line superimposed on the bar displayed on my HUD, once the two lines were parallel it lit up green.

"Mission accomplished love" Marianne said and hugged me when I stood up. Looking across I could see the young lion also hugging his mother. "Thank you so much" she said.

"No worries, any time"

"Ha now I get it, that was you making the sale announcement when the crowd all ran away! I recognise your voice"

Before I got a chance to reply the Captain arrived back sporting a large pair of bolt cutters and a crowbar. He stopped when he saw the now vacated bars then turned to me and stuttered a little. Then he sat down and put his head in his paws and mumbles; "Might as well give up if I can't even do the easy jobs"

"Hey! don't ever think like that! I have heard about what you do and I gotta say it takes real guts for a guy like you to dress up in that outfit and run around helping people. You're braver than anyone else in this mall that's for sure."

He looked up at me through his lycra facemask. "Thanks man, its good to hear something uplifting from someone occasionally."

"No problem" I replied. "Hey honey, why don't you take the kids home in the car, I'll run home in a few hours"

"Ok then, look after yourself" she said, with no questions asked, as if she knew what I was doing.

"Captain Glenorchy" I said addressing the peacekeeper, "Would you like to come have a cup of coffee?"

"Uh yeah....thanks I'd love to" he replied and gave what I thought was a bit of a smile.

well that started off ok but started getting corney toward the end...its 11:19pm and i have work in the morning so i blame that factor  :P
hope you enjoyed it none of the less  :)
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Drake Fireborne on December 26, 2012, 10:20:57 am
I did indeed. Very good work :) I'll start considering my next word
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Old Rabbit on December 26, 2012, 12:39:37 pm
Turned out well. Using "Boxing day" was a nice idea. Always good to use
use words or traditions that many of your readers don't often think about.  

Sometimes once the plot is complete it's kind of hard to work out a finish
that works good..

How about "finish"  for a word.  

Old Rabbit :orbunny:

Have a good holiday season.

Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on January 23, 2013, 08:37:56 pm
boarding the plane, no time to talk....here, read this!

Personal account of events: Date Jan 24, 2154. Sgt. William Fennec.

have you ever had a chance to look down from the sky at the sea?

I have. Much like looking up to the stars at night only the sea sets your mind a little closer to home and prevents you from longing for things you cannot have.

The way the waves below peak and break continuously, almost in slow motion, bare a very simmilar appearance to the stars in the night sky. They wink in and out and fill your entire field of view.

I zoomed out, the view from closer to the planet was much more intrinsic than the view from all the way out here in low orbit.
Entire continents are visible clearly when there is no cloud cover and I can kinda feel or at least sense the sun on my back.

Jamie caught my attention beside me with a wave, I knew he was smiling dispite not being able to see his face through his spacesuit visor, but a wagging tail is nearly always a dead give away, even coming from a rabbit.

"It just never gets old does it William" he said, voice crackling over the radio link.


"Kinda makes you wanna...break into song?"

The com channel erupted with laughter form both of us as we cacked ourselves laughing at the reference to the old viral video from the early 2000's.

"Don't you get cold out here without the suit on? Like, any components freeze up or anything?" asked Jamie.

"Well I have a readout of the temperature on my HUD but apart from that no not really. It's kinda wierd, I know its cold but Its not really a 'feeling'. Also, the tech guru's go over all my joints and moving parts with a special grease before we launched yesterday. Helps with the extreme cold and heat."

"I see, just wanted to know. Anyway, better get this job over and done with. You might not need oxygen but I will in about sixty minutes."

We both got to work with the job we had been assigned, repairing some of the supports and replacing a few nanocables on the space elevator.

"Man this thing's getting old, how long has it been up here now? like, thirty years?" I asked.

"Thirty five actually, the service life of it should be double that if the maintenence is carried out accordingly, chuck us a shifta would you?" he replied.

"Shove over a tad" I said instead and pinched the bolt with my thumb and forefinger. "What's the torque setting?"

"Show off, 200 newton meters."

I tightened the bolt to the correct tension, challenging myself to get it to the closest acuracy I could.

There was a rumbling in the platform. There's no medium for sound to travel in space so it was too late to act as the large radio dish came crashing down towards us.

"MOVE!" screamed Jamie. I did, pushing off the deck with my legs I flew away from the station at a frightening rate, missing the falling falling dish by a few inches.

Jamie was a few meters away franticly pointing at something below me. I looked down just in time to see the dish contact my teathering rope.
There was a powerfull tug and a sudden release before the tygon rope snapped and recoiled toward me.

I cursed over the radio, there was nothing I could do as I floated away from the space elevator. Fear filtered in through the shock I was experiencing. What If I never stopped floating? What if no one ever found me? What if more people lost their lives looking for me in this barren vacuum?

All these thoughts clouded my memory banks and clogged up my CPU, trying desperatly to search for an answer.

Lastly some dispair seeped into my mental state. I was powered by an experimental fusion reactor. It would not use its Ditrium fuel for a further seven years. That is a long time to be floating alone.
Thoughts turned to family, images of my children and wife flashed across my HUD, blurred slightly for some reason...was I...crying? can an android cry?

I wiped my eyes with a paw, there was no evidence of water, no ice crystals. I berrated myself for being stupid. No designer in their right mind would add such a pointless feature to a piece of military hardware.

I looked down to see my tail was tucked between my legs, an age old emotional response from years gone by. Sometimes I wish my CPU was not as fast as it is. All of these thoughts have passed in a matter of seconds yet it feels like ive been thinking about it for hours.

An orange, then blue, glow splashed across my blurred vision.

I looked up and blinked a few times to add some clarity to what I was looking at.
Rocketing towards me was Jamie! He had disconnected his teather and was using his suits thruster pack to move through the vacuum towards me.

"You're not getting out of this job that easily!" his gravely voice bellowed over the com.

Quickly I made a few commplicated movements with my arms, legs and tail to stabilise my movement, previous negative thoughts washed away in an instant.

"Hold out your paw!" yelled Jamie as he did so himself.

I stuck out my left paw towards him. He grabbed it as he swung past, spun around me and pulled my into a tight hug, clinging to my back like a young marsupial before keying his thrusters to correct the rotation and push us back toward the elevator.

"I...I..." I began to say, so happy and celebrating too early as usual.

"Shut up, we're not there yet!" he said in a determined voice.

As we began to accelerate back towards the space elevator he said; "Im not going to have enough juice left to stop us, I need you to slow us when we hit the platform.

"Right, gotcha" I replied and pulled my knees up and put my arms out in front ready to soak up the inevitable impact.

The platform was rushing up at an alarming rate. I heard Jamie cut out the thrusters just as I brought up the distance data on my minds-eye HUD.

20 meters, 15, 10, 5... My paws came into contact with the freezing steel plate and I put everything I had into bringing our combined weight to a halt.
With only limited travel the effort required was quite large, in a split second we were halted.
Jamie groaned and rolled off my back as I stood up.

"I think I've broken a rib oohhhh oww" he whined.

I didn't stop to think, scooped him up as gently as possible and marched straight to the airlock.

"ughhh, So you're nearly indistructable and filled with more stuff than batman has on his belt, yet you are defeated by micro-gravity. Nice dent in the deck though! haha oh owww" murmored Jamie as I opened the door.

The airlock closed and air rushed into the compartment, "You know you're gonna get a pretty nice medal out of this don't you" I said.

"HNNNN don't...really...care right now. You can thank me later just get me to the medical wing."

So crysis averted, lessons learned and boy am I glad to have good colleagues.
The saying is true, you don't know what you got till its gone. And I sure felt like it was gone.

This is Sgt. William Fennec signing off.
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Jamie Rosendale on January 23, 2013, 08:51:31 pm
"It just never gets old does it William" he said, voice crackling over the radio link.


"Kinda makes you wanna...break into song?"

First line I saw from glancing, also the first thing I liked.  :D
*Not a professional critic, and really doesn't have many issues with it, none being big either, so he leaves it to the others to advise~*
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on February 18, 2013, 07:27:41 pm
I'm planning a mashup cross universe story of my 2 favourite character sets. So either you guys had better give me a word or I'm gonna have to go freelance again  :P

Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on February 19, 2013, 05:20:21 am
well here we go then, i came up with this multi-universe mashup idea at work so lets see how it rolls. sorry but you're gonna need coffee, it clocked over 2000 words :\
please note: timelines separated by the *** markings

"So what am I in here for again?" asked Shaun quietly. The darkened office was a little gloomy but his lupin eyes had no trouble adjusting to the light.

"I'm waiting for the other three to get here first, I'm not too fond of explaining missions twice." replied the seasoned sergeant.

Just then the door burst open and a younger thin boy, a big burly bearded man and a well dressed fox standing on her hind legs shuffled into the room. Shaun would never forget the faces of his friends, Nathan, Krum and Sophie.

Krum squeezed himself into one of the chairs and blurted out; "What's the story boss, I dragged the other two here as fast as I could."

"I can see that, Now. The reason I've called you all here is because we have received some intelligence that the guerrilla forces are performing some sneaky activities in an ancient mayan village in south America. Now this wouldn't bother us normally and we'd let the local authorities clean up. But in this case" he said before Sophie cut him off.

"You need a covert operation into the area."

"Correct, and let me remind you not to interrupt me in the future miss Sophie" he berated.

"Yes sergeant, sorry."

"As I was saying, yes I do indeed plan to launch a covert operation into the area because of one particular picture" He said, turning the computer screen around to show the group.
"We think this is a construction site for a missile silo" he said pointing to a strange arrangement of pixels forming a round pattern besides what looked like one of the decaying mayan pyramids.

"How the hell did they get those kind of resources in the first place?" exclaimed Krum.

"That's what we want you to find out, there is a fully fuelled C130 on the runway waiting for your arrival, I suggest you collect your mission briefs and make your way to the plane."

"Aw man, here I was hoping for a bit of relaxation today" whined Shaun, slumping to the floor and padding around on all fours.

"Toughen up princess" laughed Nathan, hoisting his now ever-present rifle to his shoulder.

"Yeah Shaun, you'll be fine as usual" cooed Sophie, bringing herself down to pad along beside him. She sniffed the air briefly; "Krum, get your butt into the shower first, you too Nathan!"

"Aww that's a bit rough" replied Nathan and Krum in unison. "I can't even smell Krum" stated Nathan. "And I can't smell him either" said Krum pointing at the scrawnie human.

"Well we can!" yelled the two canide together, making the room echo slightly.


"William! wait up a second man" called Frank, jogging up behind the android.

"What's up?" replied William.

"Hey before you go I wanted to ask you a favour. Do you think when you come back you could help me win a bet?"

"That depends...what have you gotten yourself into this time?"

"The guys on friday thinks their team of five can between then do more pushups than us, think you can help us beat them by at least one?"

William sighed then said; "I'll have a think about it, tell no one though, I got in trouble last time I did something like that away from my work."

"Thanks so much man! Hey, be careful with that old portal thing. I hear the old myan worshippers may not have been as crazy as most people thought they were."

"What? do you think i'm gonna be sucked into a parallel universe? ohh hahahahahahahaha" said William holding his chest as he cackled away.

"Just sayin', stranger things have happened!" replied Frank.

"Yeah like being pulled apart and rebuilt as a robot!" taunted William.

"Just be careful alright?"

"No worries."

William continued his way toward the light aircraft that was to drop him above an old mayan temple where it was rumoured an old piece of machinery was entering a dangerous stage of radioactive decay. It was theorised that these 'mayan' people came from a different universe to his own but died off soon after for unknown reasons. Remains of strange beings with four appendages and round-ish heads were uncovered at the archaeological dig the previous year.
During said dig a large hole was discovered with three large metal prongs pointing inwards to the hole, forming a bridge of sorts. The entire area had radiation spikes over the past year and so the dig had been evacuated. Now it was time to try and eliminate the cause of the problem. Hence William was being sent in.

Will boarded the aircraft and sorted himself out for the hour long flight from New York to the south American peninsula.

"All set?" queried the feline pilot over the radio.
"Yep, gets put the peddle to the metal" broadcast William in return.

The aircraft rumbled and smoothly left the ground, sailing away from the place William had once called home, before all of this technological madness. Back when he was flesh and bone.

William tightened his jacket, checked that all of his equipment was where it should be and locked his harness tight.
"Shutting down for a nap, I'll be awake again about fifteen minutes before the drop zone alright?" William informed the pilot.

"No problem bud, see you when we get there."


"It smells funny here..."

"Shutup Krum, they'll hear us!" growled Shaun, teeth bared.

It had been a three day hike to the village and now the small unlikely group were huddled in a large bush just outside one of the camps.
Krum was however right, Sophie had mentioned the strange but familiar smell of hemp earlier on. She was surprised that Krum could even smell it.

"When are we going to take a look around?" whispered Nathan, his voice just a hush of wind.

"I suggest nightfall when at least Shaun's and my own vision is at a great advantage" reported Sophie, broadcasting her thoughts through her telepathic link, something she was both proud of and also very scared of.
Krum shivered when she finished.

"Ohohohoho please warn me when you're going to do that." he said.

"Shut it!" hissed Shaun.

Hours dragged on as the sun slowly set behind the hills. The enemy forces finally slowed and then dissipated from the area, leaving their tools and projects unhidden. Whatever they were building, judging by the tools they were using, was very sophisticated.

When the last man had left the scene and his footsteps had disappeared from even Shaun and Sophie's audible range, the team moved out from their hiding place.
Shaun looked around the site while the others stretched their cramped limbs. Sophie overextended herself, lost her balance on two legs then fell over.

"I'll never be able to stand like I used to" she complained, standing up in a more natural looking 4-pawed stance.

"I'm sure well get used to it" said Shaun, trying to comfort her a little.

"I still wish I could sink my teeth into that Parva guy again, nothing more than pain is that man deserving of for doing this to us" she growled.

"Now's not the time, you go that way, take Nathan with you and I'll take Krum this way. We'll work around the site and meet in the middle ok?"

"Ok, common Nathan, keep your eyes peeled" Sophie beckoned to Nathan, cocking her head in the direction Shaun had indicated.

After an hour they all re-grouped in the arranged location, beside a large structure with three triangles above a deep looking hole in the ground.
There was a control panel to the right and some large black leads coming from each triangular prong and leading to the control box.
Engraved on the structure were some glyphs that none of them recognised. To the left were some more recognisable markings seen in various documentaries. One particular set looked a bit like the nine planets all strung out in a line with a large black hole in the middle. On the other side of the black hole were the same nine planets.

"What do you think all this is about?" asked Krum.

"No idea but I don't think this is a missile silo and I think these guys are a bit nuttier than we first thought! The mayan's have been extinct for thousands of years but these fellows seem to be worshipping their customs" suggested Shaun.

"What worries me the most is that the Mayans were said to be above their time in technology, and this looks a little too elaborate for our time" added Sophie.

There was a rustling in the trees and an alarmed voice rang out, screaming in a foreign tongue.

"Run!" Shaun said just as fifty armed men came rushing out of every concealed entrance and hiding place and surrounded them.

"Lo wer...wee pon" said one of them, stepping forward.

"Nathan, drop it!" uttered Krum in a sharp tone.

"Hell no....no?" Nathan stopped. All the attackers were beginning to kneel.

"What the hell is....." started Krum when there was an audible hum in the air.

It had no origin and the air began to feel charged, causing all the hair on Krum's arms to stand on end. Shaun and Sophie's fur was also beginning to stand straight, giving them a poofy look. The humming increased in volume.

Nathan turned slowly around, the triangular device was glowing a dull blue colour and pulsating softly.

"What the heck is going on!?" yelled Krum over the noise.

like someone setting off a flash-bang there was a blinding white light that engulfed everything and a huge explosion, knocking the four to the ground.


The ruins of the temple were still intact and safe to walk on William soon discovered as he searched the area for the source of the radiation spikes.
His tail twitched when the Gieger counter on his vest clattered to life, the old instrument singing its song of warning to all in the vicinity.

William turned the device off for a second to scan the area un-disturbed. A heat spike showed up on the infra-red spectrum just around the corner.
Quickly he made his way towards the source of the disturbance when a loud buzzing filled the air. Electrical charge in the area was off the charts and causing many of Williams instruments to malfunction.

"What the hell is happen eeeennnnnngiiiigiiiggg" said William as his speech algorithms became distorted and corrupted by the charge.

Rounding the corner he saw it. There was a large device suspended over a hole, Three triangles appeared to be supporting a large warped picture of what was behind it. A nearby hedge glowed a multitude of colours. William noticed a large bundle of grown over cables extending from the bush.

He made his way cautiously toward the large disk to investigate and plant the explosives. There was no doubt this was the cause of the radiation problems, whatever it was.

William edged forward step by step, testing the ground each time for possible instabilities. When he was a mere 10 feet from the closest triangle something made him freeze. He was locked in place! Nothing responded to his commands, his arms were locked outstretched in front of him and legs anchored in invisible concrete.

"What the hell is happening?" he thought, "What the heck is this thing!?"

William was beginning to feel fear for the first time since his space-elevator accident. A high pitched whine rang in his ears causing him to howl in pain through a closed jaw. When he opened his eyes again he could see his paws beginning to disintegrate before him and the particles move toward the warped area of light.

His elbows, shoulders, feet and now his muzzle were beginning to fall apart into dust. William's last thought before he blacked out was of his family and friends.


The explosion partly deafened Krum, who had not been fortunate enough to cover his ears in time. Sophie and Shaun were huddled together, paws on heads holding their ears down and Nathan was wide-eyed and swinging his rifle wildly.
A figure appeared. Krum squinted in the light at the...whatever it was. It reminded him of Shaun or Sophie when they were standing on their hind legs, But something was completely different, totally 'alien' about it. It was taller than he was, large ears on top of the head like a canid, arms and legs close to a human but larger feet that extended into a digitigrade stance.
It also had a large tail proportional to its body.

Krum froze in place as the creature took a few slow steps forward, the black silhouette slowly changed into colours recognisable shades of brown, grey and sandy yellow.

The other three slowly turned to peer from behind Krum at the newcommer.
The once-attackers behind them were still bowed low to the ground, posing no threat to anyone, blinded by awe.

"Who are you?" questioned Krum to the being in as clear English as his Australian accent would allow.
The reply came as an eerie garbling of digital bleeps, pops and a variety of other noises.

"Who are you!" Yelled Nathan and raised his rifle to the ready position.

Suddenly the guerilla forces all sprang into action at Nathan's retort and rushed him screaming incomprehensible gibberish.
The mysterious figure sprang into action, moving faster than anything Krum, Shaun, Sophie and Nathan had ever seen before had ever seen before.

The figure ran past three of the Mayan worshippers, incapacitating them. Another three were thrown into the bushes across the clearing. Within seconds, the entire area was cleared with the occupants either knocked out cold or removed from the vicinity.

The figure pounced on Nathan, removing the rifle from his grip and turning it on him, Growling deeply the entire time.

"STOP!" yelled Shaun. The figure paused and turned its head toward Shaun just as the glowing orb of light extinguished itself.

"Ssstop" came a reply from Nathan's direction.

"Say again?" asked Shaun.

"Stop, Language detected. Calibrating."



Nathan wriggled and tried to free himself, "Let me go you mongrel! You win just get off me!"

"My apologies" came the voice and the figure stood up, leaving Nathan on the ground where he had been pinned.

"Who are you?" asked Krum.

"I'll ask the questions around here, where am I?" said the figure, asserting an air of authority to its voice.

"No need to be rude about it, you're in an ancient Mayan village on the South American peninsula" replied Krum

"Who are you and what are you doing here, this area has been uninhabitable since 2050."

"I could ask you the same question. People have been living in these parts for years. What do you mean by 2050?"

"The year, the year! This entire area has been excluded from entry for the last 104 years."

"I am afraid you are mistaken" said Shaun padding forward to get a better look.

The figure paused for a second and shook his head vigorously, looked toward Krum, then Shaun and gasped, stumbling back a few steps.

"W...What are you?" asked the figure with a small stutter in its voice.

"Once again, I'd like to ask you the same question! I can't even see you properly in this light" answered Krum.

Nathan turned on his torch. Before them stood a 7 foot tall anthropomorphic fennec fox. Its blue eyes glowed in the gloom, flitting from one person to another.

"Wow. You're not alone guys" Krum mentioned to Sophie and Shaun.

"What do you mean 'not alone'? Explain yourselves, and what kind of abomination are you anyway?" said the Fennec.

"I'm going to assume you're from another planet or something so here goes; This is Krum, that's Nathan you flattened earlier, they are both 'humans', this is Sophie and I'm Shaun. We both used to be humans until a big mix up in a nasty genetic experiment. Good to meet you mr...?" Said Shaun.

"William, you can call me William. As for the aliens idea, what planet are you from? Mine is named 'Earth' where I come from."

"Uhh...that's what we call this planet too! hey wait a minute. Where you are from, what is the largest country near the northern pole of the planet?" Asked Shaun.

"We call it 'Russia'."

"Bingo. Has anyone ever heard of the parallel universe theory?"
Everyone nodded in agreement.

"Krum, remember the glyphs on that triangle with the planets?" began Shaun.

"Yeah" answered Krum.

"I think this is what the glyph was hinting to, that's what this device is for. It opens portals to other worlds!" finished Shaun, seeming out of breath.

"Wow that's a lot to take in" mumbled Sophie.

"Excuse me, But may I suggest we find another location to discuss the details, there is a squadron of aircraft approaching with a large radiation and heat signature" announced William.

"It's a good day's hike to our transport though, There's an old Jeep back there but that wont get us there fast enough either!" said Nathan.

"If a Jeep is a 4 wheeled thing that drives on a road, take me to it. I'll push it with you guys in it"

"Yeah right, like you're going to be able to push it anywhere faster than a walking pace" scoffed Nathan.

"Put it this way, I'm not your average fox."

Everyone ran toward the old Jeep which was parked beside a straw hut, Krum busted the steering lock and William took up a position behind.
William pushed off with all of his strength, resting his weight on the tailgate of the vehicle and using his feet to accelerate away from the village.
They crossed the crest of the mountain just as the squadron of jets could be heard coming over the other side of the valley.

William jumped in as the Jeep began to coast down toward a beach where a medium sized sea-plane was docked just offshore.

ok so much to 'Short' story. sorry bout the length, cut it off short at the best moment i could. Hope you enjoyed it, this might even turn into a mini series of stories if words come to a hault. I have to resolve how to get William back to his own time and dimention. kinda sucks that being in 'short story' format i leave so much character building and back story out. its all outlined in previous stories though.
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Old Rabbit on February 19, 2013, 12:33:58 pm
Nice writing. You kept the story moving and interesting, so it didn't
seem all that long. 

I think a short story can be as much as 20k words. So
you have plenty of space. Or like you said make it a series.

Old Rabbit :orbunny:
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on February 20, 2013, 04:55:10 am
Continue it is then!

"Argh! Why did I expect anything different when command told us that the Argentinean would be supplying us transport out of here!" bellowed Shaun, throwing a screwdriver into the yellow sand of the beach. "One of the damn magneto's is burned out and the thottle butterfly is jammed open."

The old De Havilland seaplane had been left on the beach at the agreed location the previous night. Flying a helicopter over the area with US markings would have attracted too much attention so it was decided to pay off one of the locals to leave an aircraft capable of making the flight to North America on the beach.

"So I assume we are stranded here for the time being?" queried William.

"Looks that way mate. Hey Shaun, think you can get it going at all?" said Krum.

"What do you reckon?" he began sarcasticly; "It's hard enough doing anything with these paw-like hands, but yeah. If you can give me some help later I think we'll get it going"

"Sounds good to me. Lets go grab some tucker" finished Krum and sloshed out of the shallow water back to the others sitting on the beach.

Nathan and Krum started searching through their backpacks for their ration packages. Upon finding them Sophie and Shaun announced they were going to sneak off for an hour and go hunting. "Something half reasonable for dinner would be good anyway" explained Sophie. "You guys sort out a fire to cook it."
The pair sprinted down the beach for some distance then darted into the dense forest.

"You want anything William?" asked Nathan, proffering some of his freeze dried banana and sitting down on the sand.

"No, but thanks" he replied politely, sitting himself opposite Krum.

"Oh go on, you must be starving after that huge effort pushing the jeep up that hill"

"Thank you, but sorry, I don't eat" he said flatly.

"What do you mean you don't eat?" said Krum and Nathan in unison.

"Uhh....I shouldn't have said that" admitted William hanging his head.

"You have to tell us now" exclaimed Krum.

"Ok ok alright. It's just, this information is best not shared out where I come from but I suppose it won't hurt here in this universe. To put it simply, I'm not exactly 'alive'."

Krum and Nathan's interest perked up.

"I don't remember all of it but during a mission, in my own world, I stepped on a landmine and was subsequently lost to the living. Due to circumstances I've yet to figure out I was selected for an experimental robotics program. My memories and personality were stored digitally and installed on a robotic replica of my body."

"That must have been scary as hell to wake up to!" said Nathan.

"You're not wrong. Especially when the first thing that happened to me when I woke up free from the operating table was a training exercise involving a tank and live fire!"

"So you're a robot? lets see then" asked Krum eagerly.

William pulled off one of the camouflaging fursuit gloves covering his mechanical paw and showed them.

"Woooowwww" gawked Krum in awe.

"yeah! hey...hey Krum" said Nathan holding up his hand towards Krum; "Listen to me very carefully" he said in a heavy accent. They both burst into laughter at the movie reference.

"What's so funny?" asked William, replacing the glove.

"Oh it's a film reference, you probably wouldn't understand."

"Film...you mean moving picture's on a holo-screen?"

"Close enough, We don't have anything properly holographic yet. It's all science fiction at this stage. So if you don't eat anything then, how are you powered? Do you have any special abilities like super strength or something?" asked Krum this time.

"No holograms? wow, fascinating. Umm power, I used to have a bank of batteries but they were replaced with a couple of fusion cells last year. In theory they will last for a further 10 years which is handy. As for abilities, Well as you have seen. I am a lot faster than you all are and I estimate about 150% faster than I was biologically. Strength depends kinda on how I feel at the time. I have lifted cars out of the way and even pulled the hatch of an old tank before, though the latter was probably exceeding my limits." Explained William. "Then there's the various types of vison, from infra-red to high clarity zoom. It's very nifty at dusk, dawn and night when the lighting is low. Oh yeah! and I can do this..." William finished then activated his active camouflage, keen to show off to his new friends.

"Dayyyuummmm that's awesome!" yelled Nathan, standing up in semi-shock at the sudden disappearance of William.

"Impressive William, Very impressive. Can hardly see your outline" commented Krum.

William switched it off again, "Yeah it's been loads of fun to play with when i'm off duty, learning new ways to employ its use. Hey, what do you guys do anyway? Why are you all the way out here, I gather you are part of an organisation of sorts" Asked the autonomous Fennec.

"Well, since you told us about you I guess it's only fair if we return the favour" began Krum. "We originally met as friends in the incident between Sophie, Shaun and that old mad doctor Parva. He found a way to change the human DNA pattern and over the course of several years had cultivated them since they could walk. Last year something happened that triggered the processes completion. This resulted in the pair of animals you saw. Shaun became the northern grey wolf and Sophie the red fox. When Sophie was kidnapped by Parva again for further experimentation, Shaun got into contact with Nathan here and through Nathan, yours truly. The unofficial weapons expert." Explained Krum in his normal drawley speech pattern.

"Wow, sounds like we've both been through more than it first appears. Weapons expert, why are you known as that, Nathan is the only one of you guys carrying a rifle" queried William.

"Oh, I kinda had a bit of an 'illicit' collection of guns hidden back at my place. I collected them during my time in the army and they sure came in handy for the time I spent with Shaun and Nathan sorting out the mess Dr Parva had created."

"Ahh I see. Well I suppose we had better get that fire started for when they get back then. You're from this dimension, what's the best way to do it?" asked William.

"Petrol and a lighter...but since we don't have those luxuries and Avgas from the plane wont burn with a naked flame easily enough we're just gonna rub a pair of sticks together, Its an ancient indigenous art. I've never actually done it before but it can't be that hard can it?"

Some time later, as night was falling, a bed of hot coals had formed and Krum was busy scooping them into a hold he had dug in the sand. Shaun and Sophie had arrived back half an hour ago and were dragging a few pieces of wild boar toward Krum to put in the hole.

"Why do you have the hole for?" asked William.

"My granddad taught me this trick. they say the native Australian people, the aboriginal people, used to bury their food with the hot coals to create a simple oven. Not as smoky either" explained Krum. "And now...I have a surprise for you!" he announced, reaching into his bag and retrieving a bottle of wine.

"YOU! How did you not tell us about that before?" gasped Shaun.

"I was saving it for the end of the mission but I propose a toast instead. All the story telling today made me realise how far we have come." Krum said, dishing out four small plastic cups.
William sat in silence, watching this strange custom unfold before him.

The four raised their cups. "Here, William hold your hand, er paw...whatever up here. Pretend and participate" He said smiling.

"To friendship in the most unlikely places!" bellowed Krum heartily.

"To friendship!" the others repeated.

"Now all we've gotta do is fix that damn plane and get out of here" said Nathan.

"And find a way to get William back home too" added Sophie.

"Indeed, but we might need to ask a few questions about the area first from the guru's" finished Shaun.

"Thanks guys, my friends back home would be so happy to see you all trying to help a stranger like this" said William quietly.

"Well lets hope it all works for you then" said Krum, a big smile across his face.

well there you have it....2 nights, 2 writes. apologies for the small Ethanol reference there but I do believe it is in keeping with the G/PG rating of the forums rules and my writing. Also i checked with a couple of mods on the IRC before i wrote it.

As per usual, comments, suggestions and pointers appreciated  :)
hope you enjoy.
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Old Rabbit on February 21, 2013, 12:38:36 pm
Your doing well with the story Typing. Nicely done for
one evenings work. :orbunny:
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on February 25, 2013, 05:18:16 am
and now its time for another exiting and poorly written short story from the resident armature  :P

"Try it now" Shaun called out from beneath the engine cowl of the seaplane.

Krum flipped the both magneto switches to the 'on' position and hit the starter. The big radial engine groaned as it turned over. One, two three compressions then it kicked.
He tried again, opening the throttles ever so slightly this time. The engine kicked again, backfired out the intake then spluttered to life.

"Yeah!" everyone cheered. William carried Sophie to the plane through the water to save her the discomfort of wet fur. Shaun on the other hand was already wet from the swim to the plane half an hour earlier after repairing the parts on the beach with the plane's toolkit. So he walked along one of the floats, shoot most of the water off his fur then climbed in after the other two. Nathan followed last, holding his rifle up high and dry.

"All set, got everything?" asked Krum, beginning the maneuver the aircraft to a preferable take off direction.

"Hope so, not all that keen on getting in the salt water again. can't be good for the joints" replied William.

"All good then? Right, lets see if I can remember how to do this..."

Krum checked the rest of the gauges then mashed the throttle. The DeHaviland roared and surged forward, eventually planning on the surface of the water, bounding across the tops of the wave crests. Krum announced that 'V1' had approached for no apparent reason then pulled back on the stick. The plane broke contact with the surface and launched into the sky.

"This is amazing" exclaimed William; "I've only ever seen aircraft this old in museums, never flown before!"

"Well get used to it bud, it's going to be a long flight" said Shaun then cuddled up to Sophie.

"So tell us about your home then William" asked Nathan; "What's it like there, you implied before you have never seen humans before so what's the story there?"

They passed the hours talking about their homes and their various life experiences. William was fascinated by human culture and the others were likewise fascinated by the lack of humans and the social structure from William's home. The subject of Sophie's telekinesis came up also. William explained that there had been research done on the subject in his dimension also.
As night fell the airfield came into sight. Krum announced his intentions over the radio and the landing approval was granted within seconds.

"Seems like they are keen to get a report" he said to the others.

"It'll be interesting to say the least" said Sophie, putting her paws on the window and looking out at the lights below.

Soon they had boots and paws alike on the ground and were walking toward the complex. William was trying to follow suit and keep a straight gaze as people and resisting the urge to turn on his camouflage. Shaun, Sophie and William could all hear the mutterings of conversation from people as they passed though. It was a little disconcerting, William looked far more unusual walking on two legs with his large tail drooping behind while Sophie and Shaun were on all four looking far more like animals.
One group of men could be heard muttering something about 'finding another one' and others still just stared as the group walked by.

When they reached the building they were halted by the doorman, asking for identification. Everyone bar William displayed theirs but when it came to Williams turn, Krum had to explain lengthily the purpose of his visit. Even if he did fudge the truth about who he really was and instead telling the doorman that it was a soldier in a very elaborate costume.
Luckily the doorman bought it and let them all inside.

"How the hell are we going to explain this?" asked Sophie.

"You tell me, lets just play it as it unfolds. One thing for sure is that I am going to sleep well tonight!" replied Krum. Shaun and Nathan voiced their agreement with that idea.

"Uhhh" William began.

"Oh common...don't tell me you do not sleep?" said Nathan, rolling his eyes.

"Er not exactly" answered William truthfully.

"You really are a piece of work arn't you" finished Krum.

the party reached the Commander's office and Shaun stood up. "We'll, here goes nothing" he said and knocked on the door.

man oh man...i am having real issues writing to include all the characters, its easy to forget one but you cant have one just in the background doing nothing. jebus its a good challenge!
At least i enjoy it, and if you guys do too then its a bonus. even if there are always going to be many errors  :P

Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Old Rabbit on February 25, 2013, 10:41:48 am
Good job Typing.  Reminded me of my flying days. A friend of mine rebuilt a
old biplane with a big radial engine on it.  One has to clear the cylinders
before starting. Even then they blow smoke for a bit on startup.

Keep up the good work. :orbunny:
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on February 26, 2013, 02:23:20 am
yes rabbit, oil and old fuel gets into the bottom cylinders, its interesting trying to write about something complicated but simplify it a little for people not interested in that kind of thing. i could have gone on and on about the various parts of mechanical things in my writing but i am trying to learn to keep it simple for reading plesure.  :)
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Old Rabbit on February 26, 2013, 11:24:59 am
yes rabbit, oil and old fuel gets into the bottom cylinders, its interesting trying to write about something complicated but simplify it a little for people not interested in that kind of thing. i could have gone on and on about the various parts of mechanical things in my writing but i am trying to learn to keep it simple for reading plesure.  :)

It is best to not get too technical about things in stories unless it's central
to the story. Like how williams android body works.

I just mentioned it as a point of interest.
Keep up the good work.. :orbunny:

Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on March 02, 2013, 01:55:35 am
For my own benefit and others i am not going to write another instalment of the current story track today.
Instead I am going to write up some character information on my commonly used sets as they are from vastly different storylines.
hopefully it'll help me remember who does what  (:


Krum is a heavily built single man often shown with a beard in his previous years until recently. Once a high ranking officer in the armed forces and later an operative for the Australian Federal Police (our version of the FBI) he is now 'officially' retired.

Forced back into action by his friend Nathan to aid Shaun in a mission, he now travels with these two individuals as a weapons expert and general intelligence due to his past training.

Like Shaun he is skilled in mechanical devices. This helps him repair, modify and repair various pieces of machinery from aircraft to cars and anything else that 'ticks'.
He has a loving nature at his core dispute his overly manly outer shell, displaying gruff behaviour and carelessness at small issues.

Sophie originally was a college graduate who had just started working full-time at a veterinary clinic when the arrival of an injured fox turned her world on its end. A special serum given to her as a baby by Dr. Parva, who also cultivated her education and other medical aspects of her life, combined with the bite of the injured fox mutated her DNA.

Now she lives her life trapped in the body of the vulpine as Shaun does a wolf. This has impacted her life greatly. Loss of family was the hardest, on the morning of the transformations discovery she was held to gunpoint by her step-father while her mother watched her try to talk her way out of the situation. Her limited school friends are miles away now and have not been in contact. The only immediate help she received was from her former employer who has since been out of contact, presumably murdered by Parva.

Soon after her second ordeal with Parva at the laboratory, from which Krum, Nathan and Shaun rescued her from, some telekinetic abilities became apparent. Parva claims these to be given as an experimental second stage to the serum. She is working to control and understand these abilities during her various adventures. This, coupled with her heightened sense of smell, hearing and sight prove very useful to assisting the team with their tasks.

Sophie displays a shy but self confident attitude. Nothing gets in her way when she is motivated to complete the task at hand. Most other times she is a quiet achiever. watching and observing the men as they blunder about with their activities. This allows her to make some very well-thought corrections at times. She has also grown very close to Shaun through the entire ordeal.

All in all she is not one to annoy or mess with, a level headed thinker but also a fantastic person to get to know, I recommend meeting up with her if you ever get the chance. Talking with a fox is an experience not to miss out on if you can avoid it.

Nathan is an old school friend of Shaun's. Sharing Krum's love of guns and other weapons he often supplies cover fire or long range accuracy for the team when it comes to their new missions. Employed with the rest of the team at the institution he is rash minded and quick to jump to conclusions. However, like Sophie, remains quiet for much of the time and prefers to stand guard.
Nathan despite this is loyal to the group and would not let anything get between himself and them. NOTHING at all.

Shaun is based with the personal tributes of myself but gifted with less of the flaws.
He is highly interested in mechanical work and the design aspects of new inventions. Like Krum is well suited in modification of various machinery and devices, has an interest in firearms but not in their use. Has little experience in their utilisation but the keener sight he has been gifted with is of great aid to his marksmanship. Lets face it, hitting a padlock with a shotgun slug at 150 yards is no small achievment. Dislikes hunting in non-practical ways but when angry at a particular person has no problems in making them suffer in a way porportunate to their crime.

Like Sophie Shaun was caught up in Dr Parva's experiments at a later stage. Having had a similar serum injected into him before a trip to north America. It was here that he was scratched by a Grey wolf during a pack encounter while camping in the mountains. The mutation was well timed by the Doctor and occurred not long after Sophie underwent her own metamorphosis. The result, Shaun's body resembles that very closely to a grey wolf. Being often mistaken for a large dog he is the perfect spy for the operations carried out by the team. Able to sneak into areas with Sophie and covertly take pictures or carry out tasks. Their heightened sense of smell, hearing and eyesight assist greatly in this task.

They have both grown close over their time spent together but as of this time, keep it quiet and get on with the job at hand. Though Shaun can often be found sleeping curled up with her in the corner somewhere.

William is not from this dimension, nor from this time period. Set a few hundred years in the future in a world dominated by Anthropomorphic animals we find our character starting out as a low ranking officer of high loyalty in the armed forces. During a war with the rebels he was in an accident involving a large explosion. Subsequently he was killed. A project was put into commission, to create the first fully autonomous being. So with information downloaded from what remained of Williams biological self, a fully robotic version of his former self was created. No biological components remain yet he feels the same as he did before. It took some time to realise the truth about what had happened to him. Everything from touch, taste, sound, and hearing have been replicated within his computerised brain but with some improvements here and there. He is equip with night vision and infra-red. A colour matching faux fur covering that when activated renders William practically invisible to the casual eye, but under normal circumstances matches his original Fennec fox colour scheme.
He is faster, stronger and keener of mind than he was before yet still retains the usual emotions of fear, happyness, sadness and any other emotions and characteristics he had originally.

He is married to Marianne and has fathered two children, Sasha and her brother Hugh. Together they operate as a happy family whenever William requests time to go home and see them. Let's face it, who is going to argue with a person like this. However William is of a practical mindset and would only do such a thing as request for time off when missions are less important or his skills were not of up most importance.

William is also fond of showing off, especially with his new
William relates well to the other three he is currently travelling with due to their personalities matching so well but It is vital for him to return home to his own world to be with his own kind and family again.

So there you have it...a rough introduction to the characters, i KNOW i have missed a lot of stuff but my patience ran low  :P

constructive criticism always welcome on my work  ;)

Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Old Rabbit on March 03, 2013, 01:01:01 pm
Looks like you have a good handle on your characters Types.


Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on March 24, 2013, 06:32:34 am
Well i have an artist under way with a picture of all the characters in this mini series. pretty exited about that  :P

*cracks nuckles*
right...have about an hour of usable writing time....i hope the words flow as i have no idea how this is going to transpire! I'll just wing it and see what happens.

The commander's office was rather dingy, some thin light filtered in through the closed vertical blinds when they moved in the light breeze from the open window.
My eyes had no issue as per usual adjusting to the low light, even night vision was not required so that was a slight shock. Krum was sitting to my left next to the others, he looked very menacing in this setting. Or at least menacing is how i would interpret it. Strange creatures these 'humans'.

Whilst the others had their discussion with the wide eyed commanding officer I just sat and did a bit of multi-tasking. I designated one subroutine to listen to the conversation so I would know what was going on if questioned. And while I did this I tried to remember some old notes from my college physics class regarding black holes and wormholes. There had to be an answer to my situation. Some way had to exist to re-activate that device and allow me to get home.
Not thinking about my family would probably be the best way to stay calm in this predicament, but I could not help glancing at a mental image of them I had stored.

Directing some more attention to the conversation at hand, I overheard Sophie and Shaun together trying to explain my reason for being here and the concept of me not being of 'living' tissue.

"So leme get this straight. This guy is an alien robot from another dimension who randomly arrived here due to some myan portal?"

"Yes Keegan! when you say it like that though it hardly adds any credit to the story" growled Shaun, breaking formality and addressing the commander by his first name.

"You will be wise not to speak to me like that in the future" threatened Keegan.

"What are you going to do about it?" Snarled Sophie.

"Oi! Cut it out you two!" shouted Krum. "Look, all we need is a few days to sort out where the heck he came from and how we're gonna help him get back. Will you give us some time with the science nerds tomorrow? I wanna see if Jasper has anything to add to the subject. He and I both went to school together and I know he's pretty switched on with quantum physics."

"Ok. You've got it. But any disturbance on my base caused by you five will not be tolerated, you might be highly respected people in your own field back home but here I don't even wanna know about the mess you're stuck in. Just fix it and get out of here" ordered Keegan sternly.

I really did not want to be there right now. It was just like that awkward moment when your best friend is arguing with their partner. Not a good feeling and not for the first time I had to fight the urge to activate my camouflage to simply disappear. Cowardly I know compared with the other issues I have been confronted with, Tanks, guns, mines. The works but none of those had me worked up like this heated discussion in this strange room with strange animals and people. At the very least Sophie and Shaun looked a little like my own people so that added a form of comfort to the predicament.

We all got up and left the room, Krum and Nathan announced they were 'buggering off' to the showers. I had no idea what they meant but they left after the announcement leaving me with the two feral canines.

"I'm sick of this. You wanna go do something active for a while William?" Asked Sophie.

"Of course! What did you have in mind?" I replied.

"Well as immature as it may sound, there is a beach about five minutes run north from here and you could throw some sticks or something for Shaun and I to chase."

"Hey! i'm no bloomin' dog!" retorted Shaun.

"Oh shut up you, you and I both know you had a good time the last time we did it."

"Yeah ok, you've got me." concluded Shaun, pawing at the ground with his head hung in what looked like embarrassment.

"Well then sounds like a plan. Come on William, hopefully a bit of a game like this will ease those circuits of yours and help us all think of a way to get you home" Sophie said with a smile.

I nodded in agreement and followed them out the door. Making new friends was always a terrific thing to do. Regardless of gender or race or in this case, species and dimension. It was a simple thing that I have not really had much time to do since my involvement in the military and proceeding my accident. My time just seems to get filled with family and the few friends I already have and failing that, sleep.

But sleep is such a waste of time these days, I only need about ten minutes to shut down and re-boot to have everything working in tip top shape again. This also makes me wonder if I will ever see these four loving, generous people ever again if we do indeed find a way to get myself back home.

The game we played, 'Fetch' I think it was called, was so comically simple I almost laughed. All I had to do is throw a stick as far down the beach as I could and Sophie and Shaun would race after it, competing to get to it first. After half an hour they both returned panting heavily and collapsed in the sand due to exhaustion. I gave them all the time they needed to recover and recuperate. Tomorrow hopefully would wield a chance to figure out the answer to the issue, as long as these 'scientists' were not obsessed with my own design. I had already firmly decided not to share any of my technology with them on moral grounds. Who knows what it may do to their society, and given the nasty nature of Commander Keegan, the plans it would help complete in the wrong hands. Power is a terrible thing and I was not about to let a race of slightly more primitive people be leapfrogged into an age with all the issues and problems of my own.

I walked back to the base with the fox and wolf where we found Krum and Nathan snoozing in one of the accommodation rooms set aside for us upon our arrival.

Shaun said goodnight to me and wandered into a vacant area of the room, Sophie smiled at me, I thought I heard her voice in my head somehow saying 'good night friend' also but I cannot be sure.

Krum was now snoring heavily so I turned down my ears sensitivity a little and settled into a cushy chair, alone with my thoughts.
I miss you Marianne.

there...one hour exactly. now it's bed time. this story must be heading towards resolution stage now, then i'll have to figure out a way to have a slight complication then wrap it all up.
If you're reading this, hope you enjoyed. because it's a bonus for me if you did, i only write this rubbish to entertain myself  ;)
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Old Rabbit on March 25, 2013, 12:24:29 pm
Nicely done for a hours work Types..

Writing should be entertaining for the author. Writing about
something that was boring or a chore would likely make the
read boring too..

Thanks for sharing :orbunny:
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Leeseetsa on March 27, 2013, 06:58:55 am
Nicely done, paws! :)
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on April 04, 2013, 07:07:23 am
"No! I don't want to jump any more! can't we just land please!?" screamed the researcher.

The Chinook helicopter had reached the jump point above the landing zone, some 10 clicks from the Mayan city.

Krum shook his head and jumped out of the rear of the aircraft, followed by Nathan performing acrobatics as he did so.
Shaun rolled his eyes and stepped off the ramp with Sophie close behind.

The 'brains' they had brought with them consisting of two scientists and the researcher were being troublesome. They had all volunteered for this mission to seek further knowledge on the portal device supposedly hidden there.
The two scientists, clad in camouflage gear and struggling with their heavy backpacks stood precariously on the edge of the loading ramp, white with fear but unlike their comrade were keeping totally silent.

William had had enough. He grabbed the researcher by the straps of his backpack and threw him hard toward the rear door. The man flew past the other two, throwing them off balance and causing them to fall.

William peered over the edge to watch them dwindle into small specs as they fell before they all deployed their chutes.

William then banged on the fuselage twice to signal the pilot that he was the last one out then dived out himself. He angled himself to gain some extra speed and hopefully catch up to the others.

Several hours later, after untangling one of the scientists from a tree he had landed in, they were approaching the city.

"There it is" whispered Shaun. "The portal thingie you came out of William."

"Yeah but finding that was the easy bit, I've got at least thirty baddies in sight" commented Nathan, sighting down his rifle scope.

"Surely that force would be an easy wipe away for you?" Asked one of the scientists, looking up at the android.

"We have a saying where I come from; The easier something looks, the harder it is." replied William.

Krum chucked softly, "Sounds a lot like Murphies law to me."

"They seem to have some kind of power source hooked up to the ring" mentioned Sophie. "But we'll need to get closer for anyone else to see it."

"How many can you hit without raising the alarm?" Krum asked Nathan.

"Ten" He replied confidently, screwing a suppressor to the rifle barrel. "Any rough idea on the range?"

"1,640 feet to the centre of dirt circle on the ground, wind speed 5 knots at target" Answered William.

"You are handy to have around arn't you?" said Nathan then settled down for the shots.

"Can you get any stragglers Shaun with your pistol?" Asked Nathan.

"Not a chance, last time was different" answered Shaun honestly.

"I might be able to offer some assistance with that too" offered William.

Shaun got up and handed William the pistol he had been issued with. William accepted it and looked it over, analyzing it as he went. Data streamed across his mind's eye displaying specifications, use instructions and notable features. It was also marked in his database as 'Vintage'. Due to this information, when he mentioned the weapons age Krum protested and explained that it was brand new and only designed in 1980. He cocked the breach open and looked inside the barrel, his on-board computer taking on data on angles and other trigonometry.

Shaun then handed William the silencer after fishing it out of his backpack with Krum's help. William installed it and raised the weapon, his targeting system automatically activated, displaying cross hairs and range data across his view point negating the need for the iron sights.

"Are you ready?" asked Nathan, calmly.

"15 armed targets in sight, the left most ones"

"Good, fire when ready."

The air was filled with a strange pressure sensation as each shot was fired, the noise was almost eerie.
The only other noise that could be heard was birds chirping, leaves rustling and the steady click-clack of Nathan's bolt as he cycled quickly between each shot.
Within eight seconds, fifteen bullets had found their targets while the remaining four seconds were spent as Nathan picked off two remaining guards.

With only five people left on site all of a sudden they panicked, running around and shooting wildly, two of them getting caught up in the friendly fire while the other three fled to the nearest jeep and sped off.

"Lets move" whispered Krum loudly, grabbing his bag and moving off into the dense scrub.

Nathan packed up his gear and tipped his hat at William, "Nice shots" he complimented then followed Krum and the others down the rough trail.
William shepherded the three scientists in front of him.

Forging through the thick forest took longer than expected as it took over thirty minutes to traverse the distance and arrive in the centre of the clearing.
Sophie and Shaun performed a quick run around the area before returning with the all clear signal. The trio of 'white coats' made a bee line for the device that appeared to be connected to the old Mayan structure made from rock and metal.

Three triangular prongs lined a stone circle with various glyphs around the outer rim.
The hours passed slowly while they all brainstormed ideas about how the device worked. Then Nathan, taking a small break from perimeter duty noticed something odd behind some thick vines. Curiosity got the better of him and he went over and pulled the vines away. There were two posts, each about 3 feet high and 8 inches square with a hand print in each.
Nathan swung his rifle on its strap to his back and placed each hand on the hand-shaped depressions. Nothing happened for a few seconds then a huge bolt of energy coursed through his arms and threw him back toward the others.

Nathan yelled and shook off the tingling in his arms while the others crowded around him asking what had happened. "Agh that prick bites!" was his only reply.
William and the scientists went to investigate the two mysterious pillars. William analysed them and looked for any give away details of hidden circuitry or other clues as to the cause of the shock. He found nothing, however the scientists brushed aside some soiling to reveal yet more glyphs. These ones appeared to be glowing with a dull blue-green energy.

"The....one.....power.....mind" read out the researcher, "That's all I can make out, the rest is too damaged to properly read."

The others went back to the machinery that the gurella forces had been setting up and fiddled with some of the buttons.

A crack echoed through the valley and one of the scientists fell to the ground.
Everyone jumped to their feet. "RUN!" bellowed Krum.

They all bolted for a small outcropping of shrubs except for William, who activated his camouflage and melted into the shadows. Drawing Shaun's sidearm he scanned the hillside for where the shot had originated from. Cycling through his vision spectrum's revealed a massive shock. The sniper had been located and he had no issues dispatching that inconvenience but the problem lay within the hundreds of human heat signatures surrounding the clearing!
He ran toward the others, taking care not to rustle any of the trees on his way past to give away his position. When behind them he whispered; "They're everywhere, in the tree's!"

"Crap!" cursed Krum under his breath.
"I have an idea" said Sophie, turning to look at William, then back at Shaun with worry in her eyes. "But I need to get to that pannel, is the machine powered up?" she asked the remaining scientists.

"du du du y y y y yes" one of them stuttered out.

"William, can you shield me? I only need a few seconds to get to those pillars." she said pointing to the hand-printed pillars.

"Of course but even I'm not completely bullet proof" he responded.

"Good, lets go. Right now!" she said, giving Shaun one last look.

Krum and Nathan began to protest but instead provided cover fire, Nathan firing shots as fast as he could while Krum lobbed an assortment of explosive devices toward the advancing army.
The two advanced from shrub to cover as often as possible, William had disengaged his cloak to draw the fire while Sophie slunk along in his shadow.

There was a metallic 'plink' noise and Williams left arm went limp. "ARGH!!!" he yelled out as the damaged components replicated a simulation of 'pain'.
The two reached the pillars and William reached out with his remaining good arm and using all his remaining strength pulled the massive block of granite close to them, providing them with cover from the bullets.

Sophie stood up and placed her front paws on the two corresponding hand prints. 'I hope this works' she thought to herself and concentrated. She visualized what Williams would was like from the stories he had told over the previous days, how life would be like. She had no idea what she was doing but something felt right.
William noticed the pillars glowing bright green now and a low hum resonating in the air. Sophie strained and grunted lightly, trying to keep the image in her head. She was beginning to feel rather tired for some reason.
Clouds seemed to gather out of no where and quickly thickened to dark thunderheads, spewing lightening and starting small forest fires here and there.
The air in the big stone ring with the triangles blurred and mixed the light together, swirling into a mess of color before turning white. Static electricity charged the air and made their fur stand on end. The portal was now a blinding white light against the dark and stormy background.

"GO!" shouted Sophie over the roar of the storm. "GO NOW!"
William hesitated for a moment, concerned for the weakening fox but then logic kicked in. If he stayed any longer she may get worse so it would be unwise to dawdle in a situation such as this.

William quickly moved out from behind the rock and ran toward the portal. More bullets flew in every direction, another hit his back somewhere causing his camouflage to flicker on and off unexpectedly. He reached the white wall of energy and dove through without hesitating, all his senses were overloaded. An almost glorious feeling then everything went black. Silence.

well it feels rushed but it IS a short story challenge after all. Stay tuned as i have at least one more installment and wrap up for this mini series. also the artwork for the characters should arrive sometime either this week or next  :D

Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: flatout442 on April 27, 2013, 10:32:36 pm
Read the whole thread, I loved it!! Heres my suggestion, revenge.
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Old Rabbit on April 29, 2013, 01:08:16 pm
Yes it turned out well. I would have said something sooner, but I missed
your last post.

Thanks for sharing. :orbunny:
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on May 02, 2013, 04:33:56 am
this 'technically' belongs in the arty thread...but its 100% relevant to this soooo....


i'll get round to doing the last chapter for this storyline soon, going nuts organising stuff though at the moment. just got back from a con...you know what it's like.

Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: flatout442 on May 02, 2013, 10:11:46 pm
Nathan looks like a stereotypical Texan, has a gun and a cowboy hat.

Can't wait for the ending!!
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on May 03, 2013, 07:45:15 am
"Come on! It'll be here any minute now!" yelled Krum, throwing his arms around to keep the thick scrub from whipping his face.

Bullets zinged through the bush as the group made their best effort to escape the advancing army of troops, bullets embedding themselves in trees and ricocheting off rocks.
Nathan had Sophie slung over his shoulder. After activating the portal device she was completely exhausted. Shaun was bringing up the rear, weaving between the branches on all fours.

"Why the hell didn't you wait till we were out of the valley before requesting air support!?" yelled Nathan over the commotion.

Krum didn't reply and instead continued powering onward. A roar of jet engines pierced the evening sky, the sudden noise change caused the gunfire to halt. The four paused to listen.

"Crap...GO GO GO!" yelled Shaun.
"Over there!" said Nathan, pointing at a small outcropping of rocks leading into a semi cave like building, possibly the ruins of a Mayan watch tower.

They rushed inside, Krum tripped over a stone and falling flat on his face before Shaun grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt with his powerful jaw and dragged him inside.
Dazed, Krum got up and thanked Shaun then checked his watch.
"Three, two....one"

There was an orange flash of light followed by an earsplitting rumble that shook the earth. Shaun and Sophie whined and covered their ears with their paws while Krum and Nathan covered their own and adopted evil grins.

"Air strike suckers!" yelled Nathan.
"I love the smell of Napalm in the morning!" finished Krum, laughing almost maniacally.

twenty four hours later saw the three back at the base accommodation. The group entered the dorm set aside for post mission operatives, Krum collapsed into the couch opposite Nathan who had parked his butt in a large arm chair.
Sophie jumped up next to Krum on the couch while Shaun nosed the door closed behind him and found a warm spot in front of the heater.

"Ughhhh...Is it Friday yet?" moaned Krum, referencing the age old tradesman complaint.

"I can't even remember what day it is. Seems to not matter so much in this line of work" replied Shaun, his eyes half lidded from fatigue.

"I can't stop thinking about William and the whole concept of these 'other universes', its scary enough being able to do things with the mind" commented Sophie, annoying Nathan with a levitating pencil in front of his face.

Krum stared blankly at the pencil, fascinated as it twirled around as if held up with invisible string.
The door must have swung open with the breeze because none of them expected the Commander to suddenly walk in. He turned to face the group, saw the pencil levitating in front of Nathan and froze for a moment, unsure how to react exactly.

The pencil clattered to the floor as Sophie brought her attention to the new room attendee.
"Sir?" queried Kurm.

"Oh right, yes" he began, straightening himself up. "There was a Flash drive left on my desk with a note saying to deliver to you four on your return."

Krum held out his hand and in it was deposited the small flash drive.

"Was there anything else?" asked Nathan.

"Nothing that I am aware of, i'd better keep going. Lot of paperwork to complete" said the commander then left just as quickly as he had entered.

damit i lost my train of thought. tomorrow i'll try and finish it up  x_x
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: flatout442 on May 03, 2013, 11:22:02 am
Alright, no pressure. I do like the suspense!

Also, I know how to make Napalm!! My mom loaded ordinance on to F/A-18 Hornets in the Marine Corps.
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Sledge on May 03, 2013, 11:26:10 am
Is it legal to share that? I hope so....  Napalm!  :D
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Old Rabbit on May 03, 2013, 11:47:30 am
Alright, no pressure. I do like the suspense!

Also, I know how to make Napalm!! My mom loaded ordinance on to F/A-18 Hornets in the Marine Corps. The

No posting any recipes for weapons or explosives. I know the mix wasn't
given, but all the same.

Old Rabbit.

Edit: removed info on Napalm from the quote.
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: flatout442 on May 03, 2013, 12:21:33 pm
Alright I edited it out. Napalm is not an explosive it is a highly flammable gel, also laundry detergent doesn't contain phosphates anymore because people did use them to make chemical weapons. Octane 83 is basically jet fuel and is extremely expensive and hard to come by.
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on May 04, 2013, 12:10:20 am
not quite the area to discuss such things, but yes it is easy to make, no its not octane 83, you're thinking of something else.

where was i?

they all stared at the flash drive in Krum's hand, wondering what it would contain.
Nathan got up and grabbed Shaun's laptop from the locker, handed it to Krum and squeezed himself onto the couch to watch.
Shaun came around behind and placed his front paws on the head-test, peering over Sophie where she lay.
Krum installed the flash drive and opened the file.

A slideshow opened, fast moving pictures flashed across the screen and ended with a face recording of William.

"Glad you managed to get this video" he said, addressing the four in their virtual positions from his prospective.

"Over the past few days you have shown me much and given me one of the most memorable times of my life. We leave in a few hours back for the portal area. I do hope it all worked out for you, and me for that matter. I just wanted to say thanks for your time and hospitality, It restores some faith in society for me. Knowing that not everyone is bad or scary, even if they are from an entirely different universe. If all extraterrestrial life was anything like you guys then no one would have anything to fear."

William took what appeared to be a deep breath and turned slightly to face where Krum was sitting.

"Krum..." he began again.

"How the hell did he know I was sitting here?" said Krum.
"Shhhhhh" was the reply he got from the others.

"...Having worked with you for the past few days I can honestly say you are one of the most skilled military men I have met. Someone with a friendly disposition and a rational mind is hard to come by where i'm from. You should be proud of this for it is these traits that make up some of the most heroic people on the planet.

Nathan, you may indeed be new to the military scene but a marksman as skilled as yourself is a rare find. Keep up the good work and try using some synthetic oil on the bolt of the rifle, you'll find it cycles a bit faster and smoother...wait....you have synthetic stuff right? Anyway, it was a pleasure spending time with you.

Shaun, you and Sophie may be trapped in a body not originally yours. But don't ever let that bring you down. It gives you many abilities that others do not, Things that not even technology can offer to other people. You have a good heart, a loving one. I am sure that will assist in pulling you all together during rough times ahead should there be any. Remember that the mind is a powerful tool, it can make or break a person.

Sophie. Like Shaun you have gifts, you may at times consider them to be a curse but as I said, the mind is a powerful tool. In your case especially. Your ability sets you apart from everyone, even my race has not developed this technology yet. So work with it, learn how it works and make it into the most versatile tool you have. I'll miss the time we spend on the beach, that's for sure. Something about watching you and Shaun play a simple game rekindled some childhood memories of mine that I had thought lost. For that, you have my thanks.

Not much space left on this flash drive for video footage so I leave you with some sights of my world. I do hope we can meet again someday, somehow.
This is William Fennec, your friend from across the way signing out."

The screen went blank for a moment then was re-lit with a mind boggling view. The four gazed upon the southern lights, shining all shades of pink and green as they danced across the sky. The camera's point of view panned downwards to the ground briefly, showing a pair of paws poking out from under a snazzy pair of denim jeans.

Nathan recognized that it was filmed from Williams point of view, possibly a recording of his eyes or something.

The camera continued to pan across to a whole crowd of animals, all standing upright as humans did and dressed warmly in the snowy environment. There were numerous species that the four recognized as they stared in awe at the video footage. William turned around as a fox-person was approaching him with a chilled beverage of some description, William could be heard laughing and shaking his paw in refusal. He said something about not being able to do that anymore and then panned back to the southern lights.
Krum thought he saw someone with a heads up display on their left eye but the picture changed soon after to some kind of helicopter footage flying over a large city. Buildings and everything looked so similar but were still different in some way. The camera panned to the interior of the helicopter, it was clearly of a military design. The same Fox fellow was sitting opposite William sporting a huge rifle with a glowing centre section.

Sophie commented that it may have been some kind of laser technology.

The picture changed yet again to a female fennec fox still dressed in a smart fitting shirt with a name tag marked 'Marianne'. Either side of her were two children, both grinning.

Even Krum thought that the scene was pretty cute...but he'd never let anyone else know that.

The video ended, leaving the four in silence but with warm memories. Krum was about to close the laptop when a flash of white and black interrupted the otherwise blank screen.

"Wait! go back!" yelled Sophie, ears perked up in interest. Shaun did likewise at the flash of data.

Krum slowly scrolled back to the flash, went past it a few times then finally settled on it.

"It's a schematic!" said Shaun.

"That it is" replied Krum, scanning the page.

It was a circuit diagram, but it was also rather complex. Across the top was the title of the diagram. "IDCD - Communications prototype" read Sophie.

"Dude, we HAVE to check this out!" said Shaun, sounding a little exited.

The others agreed, the thought washing away any previous sleepiness that had hindered them.

all i have to do now is remember what happened in this story series in case i have to reference it at times  :P

So tune in next time for 'Revenge'
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: flatout442 on May 04, 2013, 12:29:58 am
Can't wait!!!

Octane 83 (and another ingredient that will not be named) is used to make Napalm-B which was only used in the Vietnam War, left over supplies were loaded on aircraft after the war but were never used. My mom was in the USMC for 4 years in the mid-80s and worked with this and other weapons on a daily basis.

That's enough weapons talk for me right now.
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on May 05, 2013, 05:23:03 am
Hey guys, i have a question.

When reading over my stuff...does your mind automaticly set the scene well enough? its not the same reading it over myself. What i mean is when you read a published novel like Harry Potter or Eragon your mind builds the scene and when you get on a roll you don't 'see' words, but instead see the scene and the activities the character is undertaking.

Is my writing achieving this? I'd not be surprised if it is not but even so. Do i need more details in the scene setting that each character observes?

I'd be nice to be able to tailor this to increase satisfaction of readers, more win for everyone that way  :)
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: flatout442 on May 05, 2013, 10:30:39 am
Hell yes!
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Old Rabbit on May 05, 2013, 11:27:54 am
You did very well with your descriptions. I like the fact you don't
stop and over detail a scene. Bringing the details in as needed
like you did is better.

I am sure if you continue to write your discriptions will improve.
After all you can always go back and do rewrites if you think of
a better way to bring a story to life.

Keep up the good work. :orbunny:

Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on May 20, 2013, 07:17:28 am

I sat up slightly and adjusted my position. only to be welcomed by a sharp jarring ache on the side of my head, just below my left ear.
Cursing might not be the most polite response but its the only one that I have hard wired.

Working under cars every bloomin' weekend was once an enjoyable passtime but these days it has become a bit of a chore. But over the past weeks it has given me time to think. As I lay on my back and tighten a bolt here or lever the gearbox into place there I often subconsciously think to myself about various subjects. From the lovely vixen I saw from behind the fence at work to how i'm going to make my first million.

But today's thoughts were on anatomy. Of all the damn things I could have been born with, why would anyone want a tail? I mean...it has no really practical use. Always in the way, giving away subconscious thoughts and emotions that i'd rather have hidden. And all its doing right now is going numb because i'm laying on it!

Then the muzzle. Once again, always in the way. Can't see downward due to it being where it is. I often smash it on things when I turn my head quickly without a good understanding of my surroundings.

What is this? is god like having some kind of revenge on us for something? man...if he is, 'all loving' is a bit of an over statement!

I removed the last bolt holding the flywheel in then heaved the circular lump of metal away from the engine to inspect the rear main seal.

"And then there's the fur. washing oil out of this stuff ain't easy!" I complained to no one in particular.

I swear, if I was the one designing a race of sentient beings, i'd make them all with short noses, no tail and bare skin. With any luck that'd make life so much easier for everyone! Apart from the need for more insulative clothes I guess.

I gave the radio a kick to get the faulty device working again and continued my frustrating job.

short and sweet once again. slice of life almost. thought of this one while under the van last week (ironic huh) and how much of a prick it'd be as my fursona performing the same task.
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Old Rabbit on May 20, 2013, 11:48:53 am
A good slice of life for a furry.  :D 

Loved it. :orbunny:
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: flatout442 on May 20, 2013, 01:41:47 pm
(Claps violently) WELL DONE! 8)
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on July 27, 2013, 09:16:13 am
guess who's back.
over a month since it last wrote...wow. Pizza ordered, fizzy bubbelech on hand. Photo's uploading.
but cold fingers from me not lighting the heater. *facepalm* really should have done that.
Oh well, dad's not home for another 5 weeks so I have not been living luxuries like lighting the heater. Hey, I'm a lazy guy.

Dad left for South America a few days prior to my arrival back from Anthrocon. Gotta say its good to be home and finally have some time to sit down and write again. It is a great stress relief and lets my mind escape from other issues contained in my life.

Right, add another comment to that long heated discussion on facebook, send a video to my friend so the song gets stuck in his head aaannnddddd.....go!
story ideas? scrolling up....any missed words? no, doesn't seem to be any.

PIZZA'S HERE!! be right back.

sweet, new custom pizza. Ordered it with all kinds of that new strange stuff they have on the menu. Heh, I've even forgotten what I ordered now.

Right, story ideas. Oh wait, friend just sent me a youtube video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsUpVawiI3U
hehehehehe. Man this pizza is good. So nice to have proper Coke a cola again too, you guys over in the USA use that corn syrup stuff in everything.

Hey what the heck? the hair on my hands is way darker than usual. When did that happen?
Chest hair too?....and its white looking? What gives?

Ugh, lost my train of thought. I'll have to do this writing later. I'll keep an eye on this hair issue and go to the doctor to see what he thinks.
Going to bed, night guys  :)


The radio came to life with the usual 'pop' noise, startling the young author awake.
He groaned and slowly reached out of his bed to hit the snooze button. The arm stopped short and hovered above the button for several seconds.
"Wh..t the hell!?" came the cry as the bed sheets were thrown from the bed and onto the floor. The figure rushed into the connected on-suite to his bedroom and raced up to the mirror.

Not only that, he looked over his arms sticking out from the singlet he slept in. The sparse hair that once resided on his arms was now over an inch long and colored black from his elbow down to his hands, which had darkened in skin color and had small claws growing in place on nails.
From his elbow up had changed to a deep red/orange tone and followed over his shoulders. Down his neck and across his chest had become a creamy white with 'fur' in varying lengths depending on its location.

The biggest shock was the migration of his hears to the top of his head, which were now a totally different shape to what they were before, more pointy and 'cuppy'. Further more they moved and twitched in the direction of interest.

His face was still bare though, needing a general shave from the orange and white whiskers that were growing there.

Legs were likewise covered in black and red fur, changing color at the knee's with claws protruding from the ends of his toes.

"Crap, what the heck happened? I need to see a doctor or something about this. Wait, no that won't work. They'll probably put me in some kind of ward or something."

He began to start breathing heavily and quickly.
"Argh it's too early to be going through this kind of stress...wait...that's it! Dream! why didn't I think of it before? I'll just go back to bed, get to sleep and the alarm clock will go off in the morning. Lucid dreaming I think this is called?" he said, continuing to talk to himself.

After checking facebook and updating his status to "Woke up as a fox lol" he went back to bed, and pulled the sheets over his head to block out the 'sunlight' of the dreamt Saturday morning. Some time passed and eventually he fell asleep once again.

The alarm never did go off. Instead the waking process involved a lot of cursing, tossing and turning.

Opening his eyes, first sensation that registered in his mind was a dull aching pain, originating from the base of his spine and ankles. Following this realization his eyes came into focus...but slightly different than before, almost like someone had changed the color palate of the world.

Throwing the sheets off once again and any remaining drowsiness along with it he jumped out of bed, promptly falling on the floor, his face stopping farther away from the ground than it usually would have done.
"Ouch!" was the only word that came to mind.
Attempting to rub his nose only resulted in his hand smashing into his lower jaw.

Everything felt wrong. face extended into a muzzle, feet longer than they once were. Something made a brushing noise across the floor and a sensation made itself apparent in the base of his spine.

"Holy crap I have a tail! This is getting way too weird. What is going on? is this still a dream? I don't know what to do!"
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Old Rabbit on July 27, 2013, 12:31:47 pm
Now that could be quite a problem for a human to
find his/herself in. :D

Nicely written as usual.

Of course it might even be more mind blowing for one
to go out and find the whole world had become furry
instead.  Would make a good Twilight Zone episode
either way.

Welcome back types.  :orbunny:
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on July 27, 2013, 08:21:15 pm
thanks rabbit. it was an interesting short write. I've always wanted to cover the whole transformation thing but now that i've done it, it kinda sounded cheesy. but its out of my system now. writing in real time was interesting also. the stuff in the first part of the story did actually happen. the pizza left overs are sitting beside me right now.

So with the experiment conducted I can get back to doing what feels like it worked the best. I have another story that I started on the flight to LA that I might tweak and finish up.
but I need to think more about racial discrimination and how it works, as this is what the story deals with.

Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Old Rabbit on July 28, 2013, 12:02:38 pm
The story turned out well. Most people who write or draw always
see things they would change with their drawings or stories.

We learn each time we create a story or drawing.

Keep up the good work. :orbunny:

Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on September 25, 2013, 08:52:14 am
It never went away, not after years of remaining quiet between the many human variations, not after laws were put in place to prevent it. Times change and humans still thrive on negative comments and pushing another below them selves in rank or status.

This makes my job difficult on a daily basis. I work as an airline attendant running the red-eye flights from Australia to the USA, and by extension this requires me to deal with people every hour of the job.
From serving drinks to changing sheets in business-class, cleaning and food preparation. It's all covered by myself and my colleagues.
Like all airline attendants I wear a standard sharp looking suit, tie and a hat that sits neatly between my ears. Keeping myself groomed for the fifteen hour trip can be arduous though. I hate brushing my tail the most, it sheds so much I have to clean the bathroom afterwards! But it's worth it, the orange blends in with the white tip nicely afterwards and I can sit it comfortably between my coat-tails as I walk up and down the isles.

This is all well and good in theory, but the catch is...I'm the only one of my species in the company. I am told I was from the third generation after the species split, but I still never knew my biological parents. I grew up with a loving family in Gosford who treated me as far more than the general public do.

After giving my pre-flight briefing, and rolling my eyes at all the people not paying attention, I sat and waited for us to become airborne.

"Can you believe that?" someone said, my ears swiveling to pinpoint their location; "Now they even have jobs in hospitality" came a snide whisper.

I put my head in my hands and shook it slightly. Fairly sick of hearing comments like that, its kind of depressing. Like I said before, racism, it never left. It just evolved.

When we reached cruising altitude I began my rounds, offering refreshments to the passengers on the right side isle. Most people replied with a gruff, uninterested 'thanks' while some of the elderly folk deeply enjoyed my service and replied in kind.
Just then the attendant light came on. I quickly finished my rounds, stowed the trolley and rushed to the passenger requesting service.

I arrived at the seat and the passenger looked at me with a deep scowl.
"There is hair in my coffee! That's bloody pathetic of you not checking the thing first!" growled the man. I recognized his voice right away as the one who made the comment during take off.
"I am deeply sorry sir, let me take that for you and replace it" I offered politely.

"Yes, do that. And bring me a serviette and an empty cup, I'm going to filter these hairs out and send them to the appropriate authority!"

"I am sure there is no need for that sir, I can see quite clearly there to be no traces of hair of any kind floating in your coffee." I replied, my temper allowing a small breach in my etiquette.

"With an attitude like that i'm even more shocked you have a job of any kind, filthy animal."

"Sir, you need to keep that kind of language to yourself. I will return in a few moments with your coffee." I finished and bustled away before he could hurl more negative comments towards me.
Quickly making his coffee and grabbing a spare container and serviette, I returned to his seat.

"Watch where you're shedding next time and don't forget to come back later to clean up the spills. Now get lost"

I returned back to the mini-bar and sat down. Furious was not a strong enough word for how I was feeling right now. The comments had put me in a mood that would prevent me from doing my job as best I could, this was making me angrier! My tail swished back and forth giving away my emotional state dispute my attempts to hide in on my face.
Movement caught the corner of my eye and I snapped to attention to look at the newcomer.

He appeared to be familiar, I was sure I knew his face from somewhere before.

"Uhh...sorry, I just wanted to get a drink of water...but I can ask someone else if you would like some time alone" he spoke politely.

Training snapped into play; "Oh no sir, not at all. Here, let me offer you some chilled spring water from the cooler."
As I poured a glass for the man I could feel his gaze upon me, almost like he was trying to gauge more information without asking. To be honest it made me feel a little creeped out, but nothing worth worrying about.

I handed the man the glass, taking a mental snapshot of his physique as I did so to try and figure out who he was later on.
He took a sip, sat the glass down on the counter and asked me a very casual question; "Rough day?"

"Ugh, Company policy kinda doesn't like me talking about personal issues...but yeah. A few things that have been building up have gotten to my nerves today."

"You are a very tolerant person in my eyes if that makes you feel any better, you do seem to cop a lot of verbal abuse in your job."

I grabbed an empty glass from the counter and began to clean it. "How do you know this?" I asked.

"I fly on this same flight every Tuesday in business as part of my employment" the man explained.

"That's a fairly long haul to be doing once a week" I commented, realizing why he was so familiar. finishing with one glass I grabbed another to keep busy.

"It has it's perks. Anyway, do you mind if I ask you a few questions?"

"Umm, Only if I do not get called away. I am still on duty."

"I am sure you will have plenty of time. Do you like your job?" he asked very abruptly.

"Well, the pay is nice, the hours kinda suck and so do a lot of the people. But I manage ok."

"Do you take pride in your job and how you carry it out?"

"Yes I do, most defiantly."

"But do you feel like you were made for something more?"

"I'm not entirely sure what you mean by that...I suppose I could re-train in a richer form of hospitality, though my passion lies with engineering...although...no. That's what I keep telling myself as it's a plausible goal. My true imaginary life goal is to be part of an automotive race team. But as I said, imaginary. Race teams typically stick with humans."

"Thanks for answering, though I do have one more question on a more personal level."


"Your genetic code was spliced with that of a North American red fox, have you ever wished you were human? would you give anything up to change?"

"Not at all. I may have many a low moment but I am proud of who I am and what I do" I explained. "What brings you to such a curiosity about myself anyway?"

"That's for me to know, and you to find out" he said, tapping the side of his nose and finishing his water.

The man walked back out the way I had entered the mini-bar area. I could hear his footsteps come to a halt not far from the door however.
"Do not bite the hand that feeds you, both literally and figuratively" came his voice.

"Get out of here old man! you're invading my personal space!" came the rude reply from the racist passenger.

There was the sound of a small squabble, I quickly left my seat and poked my head around the door to see my questioner holding the racist by the collar, a few inches from his face.

"Who do you think you are!?" choked the passenger, his feet light on the floor.

"My name is Charles Krane, and I own this airline. Now, you will be apologizing to the flight attendants, all of them, on their next round. Your return flight has, as of this moment been canceled."

"You can't do this you prick!" came the angry reply.

"I can and I just did....now SIT DOWN!" Charles yelled and dropped the man into his seat.

I never saw Charles again on the late flight. It was almost disheartening but these things happen. Temporary friends come and go.
Several weeks later I received a letter from my employer, Krane Airlines. Thinking it was just another paycheck I left it unopened for several days.
Finally, when bored I opened the letter with the sharp edge of my car keys and removed the contents.

Skimming through the header, bla bla apology for customer bla bla, I quickly pulled up half way through the forth paragraph; "And so it is with great pleasure, we invite you to undertake a training course before joining us on the BAJA 1000 cross country race in 6 months ti....."

Words cannot describe.
Good things DO come to those who wait.
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on September 26, 2013, 05:10:32 am
I looked back at the letter again, there was a postal note left at the end.
It read; Showing passion for the things you do for a living ensures passion for the things you do in recreation. I look forward to meeting you once again and hope you will enjoy your holiday.

Signed, Charles Krane.

As I moved the letter away from my face I noticed some additional pieces of paper on the floor. They must have fallen out of the envelope when I removed this letter.

The first paper was quite a shock, for along with the Krane Airlines logo on the top it had a title header 'notice of employment termination'.
Something felt incomplete so I opened the second piece of paper to reveal the answer. Not often does one receive an invitation to undertake a complimentary advanced driving course and CAMS licence.

I think there may be big things in my future.
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Old Rabbit on October 11, 2013, 11:17:54 am
I looked back at the letter again, there was a postal note left at the end.
It read; Showing passion for the things you do for a living ensures passion for the things you do in recreation. I look forward to meeting you once again and hope you will enjoy your holiday.

Signed, Charles Krane.

As I moved the letter away from my face I noticed some additional pieces of paper on the floor. They must have fallen out of the envelope when I removed this letter.

The first paper was quite a shock, for along with the Krane Airlines logo on the top it had a title header 'notice of employment termination'.
Something felt incomplete so I opened the second piece of paper to reveal the answer. Not often does one receive an invitation to undertake a complimentary advanced driving course and CAMS licence.

I think there may be big things in my future.

Sounds like it Paws. Knowledge almost always
pays. Companies generally take notice of those
who do a bit more than required.

Old Rabbit :orbunny:
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on December 25, 2013, 06:13:49 am
T'was the night before Christmas, and all through the house. Not a creature was stirring...unless you count a family living there who had no intention of keeping quiet at this hour.

Hugh and Sasha were too wound up with sugar rush to even be close to going to bed. So while they pranced around the house like electrocuted chickens, Marianne and William sat back on the couch by the air conditioner.

William was given leave over Christmas as per usual. To 'recharge the old batteries' the Sargent had said, pun intended...even if William's batteries were nearly brand new.

"I don't know how on earth they can run about like that in this heat. They're not even panting yet" said Marianne.

William smirked slightly at the mention of the uncomfortably of the heat.

"Oh shush you!" said Marianne, shoving William with a paw. "Just because you can't feel it!"

William placed his arms out in front of him and adopted a blank stare, doing his best robot impression. "Affirmative. I do not feel. I am an emotionless machine. beep. beep. I cannot love you. This is a simulation. Beep."

"Oh stop it!" she replied, hugging him. "You know we really should put the kids to bed soon."

"Yeah I suppose, they'll be burned out for tomorrow."

William turned down the volume on his speech replicator and whispered; "Are you going to do the drop tonight or should I?"

"You're a bit quieter than me, do it at 4am, that should be enough time hun" she whispered in return, William nodded in confirmation.

Hugh finally stopped running and jumped into Williams lap, bubbling with energy.

"What's Santa Claws going to bring me this year daddy?"

"I dunno champ, did you write him a letter?"

"Yeah! I mailed it 3 weeks ago so it did not get lost in the Christmas rush!" Hugh replied as Sasha sat between them on the couch.

"Tell us the story of Santa again daddy please!" asked Sasha, beaming up at William, ears perked alert for a possible incoming story.

"Ok, but you two had better go to bed straight after, or Santa will have to skip our place till last!"

"We promise" they both replied in unison.

Marianne relaxed and cradled Sasha's head as William began the semi-truthful story of Santa's beginnings.

"Many years ago, before I or your mother were born, before their parents, and before their parents parents, there was a Bear named Nicolas. A saint some called him. A scoundrel others would also refer to him as. During a time of poverty after a series of terrible events, Nicolas would sneak around in the darkness of night and rob frivolous things from wealthy people. It was and still is today a frowned upon practice but Nicolas was a person of logic, kindness and fairness. The items he stole were always minor and nearly worthless to their owners. Rarely would they be noticed as missing.
He then took it upon himself to either sell these items or give them to other less fortunate people.

Through his kindness many people benefited throughout the town. No one ever found out when he died or what happened to him, but we do know one thing. To this very day, his acts of random kindness to the less fortunate continue all over the world. But some say his decedents continue to give the gift of giving. Though these days stealing is not really on the agenda. Legend has it there is a large factory hidden on the north pole where 'Santa' and his helpers create toys for children worldwide. Santa's name will forever remain a reminder to the original Nicolas himself. For 'Santa Claws' is merely a miss-translation from Saint Nicolas to Santa Claws. Saint/Santa. Nicolaws."

Hugh and Sasha were mesmerized by the story and were fighting their bodies natural response to fall asleep. Their ears were falling limp and eyes half lidded despite their efforts.

William gathered the two children up carefully and carried them to their bedroom.

"You really have a nice way of telling that story" Marianne said when he returned to her side, "The kids getting heavier?"

"I didn't really notice. Not paying attention to the data"

"If only you had the muscles to show off as a result" She said, hugging her husband.

"Merry Christmas Marianne" said William, softly kissing her on the forehead.

"Merry Christmas hun."
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on January 20, 2014, 05:53:19 am
You'd think I'd have gotten used to it by now.
Getting deployed back into the field. But the truth is, it never really gets easier. It always makes me feel down, not sad, but down to have to leave my family again.
I suppose I don't really feel sad any longer. It's like emotional conditioning. Dying kinda has that affect on your emotional state, turns you cold to certain things. But then there's the never ending argument about whether or not machines really 'feel'.

I've been spending the last week on base being prepared for another mission on the other side of the planet, some kinda warlord rubbish. Can't really tell you much, or i'd have to kill you hehe. But aside from that I've just been reading my own manual and tweaking a few parts to get them working better, saves the engineers some time at the very least.

Last week I burned out my main power supply trying to test my limits. Turns out, when the manual states ram pressures not to exceed 1000kpa, they mean it! So in hindsight, trying to bench press the neighbors three ton truck was probably not the best idea. But hey, at least I know i'm good for two and a half right?

My team mate Trace, a cat of sorts, is sitting across from me on the other side of the chopper also reading my manual. I can read his new uniform name tag from here easily, but whats more amusing is that someone has ALREADY defaced it by writing 'Grug' below his name tag. I just assumed it was a poke at his long hair bearing a resemblance to the children's book character of the same name.

"You know, you look really scary under that fur covering" Stated Trace, looking up from the manual.

I pulled back the left sleeve of my faux fur covering, exposing the mechanical arm.
"Listen to me very, very carefully" I said with my best Austrian accent. Trace cracked up laughing.

"So how about if I just vanish so you will never have to see me at all then?" I said, activating the camouflage module.

"Now you're just showing off!" replied Trace, still a glint of humor in his eyes.

Trace was the brains of this mission. His job was to get in, re-program the computer and get out again. All I had to do was run protection and assist where needed. Quick mission, in and out again and would hopefully prevent a lot of unrest if it all went to plan.

"I see they got you a new potato cannon then?" queried Trace, indicating at my replacement weapon.

"Yeah, just finished downloading the manual last night. She's a real doozey, but its kinda limited to the heavy stuff, even if it is supposed to be nearly silent."

"I never thought I'd see the day they used chemical weapons again. At least it won't make a mess afterwards like they used to back in the day"

"Yeah that's true" I said.

"Hey William?"


"What's it like being a robo...." He began to say before I cut him short.

"If I had a unit, for every single time I've been asked that question. I'd be able to end world poverty tomorrow"


"But to answer your question in brief, It's like being a superhero. The good. And the bad. So leave it at that."

The pilot caught our attention and notified us that the drop zone was approaching fast. I stood up, grabbed my jacket, belt and under-slung heavy weapon. Trace got up and threw an active camouflage vest over himself and donned the rest of his gear.

The radio crackled to life with the pilots voice; "Touchdown in 3...2...1...GO!"

To be Continued...I hope.

Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Old Rabbit on January 23, 2014, 11:35:22 am
I haven't posted a response lately, but I still find your
stories a good read.

Thanks for sharing. :orbunny:
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on January 25, 2014, 06:11:52 am
if its fun to write, anything else is a bonus. someone reading my stuff? bonus achieved!

however i was reading over some of my earlier stuff latetly...i reckon ive actually gone down hill a bit!
there's a lot of lack luster and description loss in some of this later stuff in comparison. i have to put in more effort, have a more solid story, better mental image and put it down in writing better if i wish to improve.

i'll try and put these thoughts into practice next time i write  ;)
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Old Rabbit on January 25, 2014, 12:50:25 pm
When your creating art or literature for fun it isn't always necessary to be at
your best. Kind of like a artist doodling.

I look forward to more of your work. :orbunny:
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on May 04, 2016, 07:24:30 am
I'm brewing new ideas again. stay tuned for more rubbish light reading ;)
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: Old Rabbit on May 04, 2016, 12:56:49 pm
Glad to hear it. I look forward to your work.  :orbunny:
Title: Re: Paws's short story challenge
Post by: typingwithpaws on November 22, 2019, 08:36:09 am
"So how do you see yourself William?"

"Worth little more than the sum of my parts, figuratively and literally"

William hung his head. Several years had passed since the war. Life had for the most part returned to normal, for most.

The psychotherapist looked on with knowing eyes.
"You know that is not the truth inside you" She said.

"I know! But it's just so hard convincing the logic centre that same truth!" sobbed William.

"Justify yourself, you are good at heart and moral. The choices you make mean something to more than just yourself. You are more than just a collection of thoughts, wires and circuits."

"I'll try"

"Take your time, when you're ready, gather your things. I will see you next week. Consider what we have spoken about today and return with some new thoughts and views then"

"Thank you for your time Alyce, sorry to break down again"

"That's perfectly alright" said Alyce, setting the voice recorder down on the small table in the centre of the room.

William gathered up his bag and shouldered it. Regular visits to his therapist had been a nice change of pace, even if they did force some nasty concepts to become revived.
Several years had passed since the accident wherein his original body had been destroyed by a landmine and replaced by an experimental android. The reality was that his life could now be, in theory, extended indefinitely. This concept was terrifying to consider, outliving his family, friends.

"What's planned for this evening?" cooed Alyce, in her usual soft tone.

"Probably visit the local bar with my friends. It's a Friday night after all and some company would be healthy for me."

"Good plan" she replied, shuffling some papers into alignment before stapling them together.

William exited the practice and began the short walk towards the usual gathering place, a small pub on the corner near the top end of town. The whole while he walked, the only sound he focused on was the usual creak and scrape of his actuators and linkages as he walked.
"Soul within the machine" He murmured to himself.
Time passed swiftly as William paced the distance towards the top of town. Soon the small bar came into view. A two story building, rendered  brickwork cracking, simple neon 'open' sign glowing dimly against the dim overcast night sky.

William wiped his paws on the doormat and entered, Krum and Nathan were already there, standing in their usual spot by the pool table.
"Oi Naa the ones with the big white spot are the bigs" bolstered Nathan, cheeks a little red from an evening enjoyed, flannel damp from spillage.
"Yeah I know that ya drongo" complained Krum, wearing his usual attire, A white stained tank top, blue denim shorts and a pair of thongs. "Oi, Will's ere" he exclaimed.

The two raised their glasses in greeting. It was nice to have such reliable company, thought William as he walked toward the counter to order a beverage.
"Usual I assume?" the bartender asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Yeah Ad's that'd be good thanks" Will replied, handing over the credit card for the tab before walking towards the pool table.


Hey guys, trying to get back into it. Hopefully not like a gym membership though. I'd keep going but its past midnight so i'd better get some sleep before work tomorrow.
its been a few years so some new influences might be present in my otherwise mediocre work.

Nice to make contact again.