Pushed Around

[Kattywampus]

Ya know..when I wear my tail in public, old ladies come up to me and say "awww, that's soo cute, deeaary.."
I wear a tail to work now(attached to my coat), and no one cares.
I don't really explain things unless someone specifically asks, "HEY are you a furry?" but that rarely happens.  But yeah.. like 95% of the time that people comment about my tail and/or ear-hats/headbands, it's something positive.

I'm out of school, so I don't get bullied any more.

When I was younger I had glasses and they'd call me stupid things like "four eyes" or "pirate" (I had an eyepatch to help my lazy eye).  I don't remember anything else between 2nd grade and 9th... except that in elementary school (mostly 5th and 6th grade) almost everyone avoided me because I was that crazy kid that sat there and whistled like a bird or barked or meowed or something for no apparent reason.

Well, I ignored all the taunting until high school.  There are two big events that I remember, one in 8th grade and the other in 11th.  They aren't exactly furry, but they are times that I stood up for myself and I'm quite proud of them.

8th grade I had shown an interest in Wicca (witchcraft) and had started reading about it in my study halls.  In one of these study halls, a group of kids around me had started poking fun at me and asking me stupid things like "cast a spell on Adrian so she'll sleep with me!"  Meanwhile I tried to calmly explain why I couldn't, but they just thought it was funny.  So finally, one of them (for no reason I can see) told me one day that no one liked me, that I had no friends.  I let it stew in my mind for a few seconds, and then I got up, walked over to his desk and started screaming in his face.  And that was the end of that chapter... the kids apologized and the teacher congratulated me.  As surprised as I was. n.n

In 11th grade, some random kid I knew (well-known as a bully) started laughing at me in the halls for some reason I can't remember.  I ignored him for a while, and then one day I just got sick of it and I literally roared across the hall at him.  It scared the crap out of him, but it didn't stop it.  Instead, he kept asking me to do it.. which wasn't all that bad... but the day he brought in a digital video camera and started taunting me in front of it was the day I decided to ask him to leave me alone.  It's funny, after that his friends came up to me and told me they saw the video tape, they apologized for him (whether he wanted to or not) because what he was doing was pretty mean.  And then, when he still wouldn't stop it, I took it to the school nurse for a harassment claim.  Which stopped it in its tracks...

Lesson:  Bullies are wimps.  Don't let them get to you.

[Kattywampus]

Silverhair, I rather like the idea of a Meow-cow.  You go, grrl.

Harrasssment claims? Hmm...THAT sounds like an idea....I might end up doing that. For some reason I continually get called a hopeful (though I show no skin and wear no makeup) and have no clue why...don't even KNOw the bints calling me that.....*shrugs*

[TheIronMaiden]

I haven't had any trouble with people at school since 9th grade. There used to be people who picked on me, but I ended most of those on my own in one way or another. I definitely wouldn't advise anyone to use any of the methods I did though, since they could've all backfired fairly easily.

One event that stands out in my mind was from 9th grade. I was walking home with a friend, and an aquaintence of his from school (a large/kinda muscular druggie) joined us. Once he arrived he started being a pr**k to me. I had seen him a fair amount of times before, and pretty much every time he was mean to me, but this time it was worse than normal. As we went along, he started throwing handfuls of tiny stones at me and had me walking rather far behind them. This went on for about 20 mins. and I got fed up and started walking closer to them. He had a 3 foot long stick that he had picked up earlier and when I got close, he started jabbing at me with it. I grabbed it and broke about 5 inches off of it. He jabbed it at me again, and the jagged end I had just broken the piece from stabbed me just above my eyeball. I got really angry then, and ripped the stick out of his hand. The opposite end of the stick had a fist sized nub on it, and a smashed him in the leg with that part of the stick. Then I started walking away, broke the stick into three seperate pieces and chucked them one by one at him. I missed each time, but he got the idea. He came up to me, said he was sorry, and asked to see my eye, which was bleeding pretty good at this point. He said I could wipe my eye on his sweatshirt, and the three of us walked home. The next day after school, he met up with me and my friend. He asked how my eye was, and then told me I had left a pretty large bruse on his leg from the stick. I never had another problem with him.

[Timber Fox]

I only had one problem with a bully, of sorts, in 10th grade.  I was looking into my locker and he smashed the door against my head, leaving me with a large bruised lump for few days.  Someone saw me just after it happened when I was holding my head almost crying in pain and helped me to the office, and he was then suspended shortly after.  They should have expelled the sucker but there wasn't enough proof that he did it "on purpose"...(no one hits a locker door that hard by accident, bah).  After that he then wanted to be really nice to me and wanted me to be his partner for group things in history, presumably because he was an almost-flunkie and I'd do all the work.  If that isn't a classic nerd story I don't know what is.  Other than that I haven't had any problems with people in real life bothering me...I've had to deal with my fair share of trolls online, however.

My furriness?  I don't tell anyone directly.  I just do as I please, and if they so happen to ask me if I am I'll tell them.  Most people just think I'm just weird and move along, which means they probably wouldn't care if I told them.

[Ulario]

I've been picked on for many things all of my life.  Since I'm older, my peers are no longer cruel to me.

However, I do still get picked on for other things.

Mainly because of the fact that I'm pagan.  If I had a quarter for every time I've been told that I'm going to hell, I could buy a new fursuit.  I've learned to deal with it since my beliefs are my beliefs and nothing is going to change them.

As for being furry, I have recieved a few hate mail letters.  Most of them I just laughed at because it was so obvious that it was a pathetic youth who needed someone to pick on the feel big.  Others still have had a few choice words about my (as in Ulario's mate) mate (since he's human).  

I haven't had any trouble with my furryness in real life.  I draw furries constantly, but in High School, I was just seen as an animal lover... and now that I'm in college, most of the other art students applaud my skills as an artist.  In fact, I recently made a video about furriness in my multimedia class (I'd upload it to share, but it's over 300 meg).

Anyways, the only person that you need to please is yourself.

[Skunki]

Quote (Ulario @ Feb. 05 2004, 9:50 pm)

I've learned to deal with it since my beliefs are my beliefs and nothing is going to change them.

for real, why won't people realize that they can't change how you view things. only you can change you and chances are you won't because you don't want to (i used "you" alot there). people are so naive (and dumb) and they think that the world is their burrito. when will some people learn that they can't enforce their ideas onto you if they don't like you for who you are?

[Draska]

I've never really had any problems with bullys, except in 3rd and 4th grade, where this one jacka** wouldn't leave me alone, no matter what I did.  But he left and everything was fine after that.

[Sporty Fox]

I've been out of school for 20 years now and l still can relate to what your going thru. Back then nobody here had heard of furry, you were just called other names/slurs. I've learned over the years that you can't change peoples minds about what they think about you but you can blow their minds by not being what they expect.
  I work as a pharmacy tech for a major chain with over 30,000 employees. I just joined an elite group of less than 250 for customer service awards. Imagine the looks on some of my favorite customers faces when I come in or leave in my beat-up biker leathers and my wolf skull cap. Most of them won't give me the time of day until they reconize me and are shocked because of what they associate with "bikers".
  If someone gives you a hard time for being a fur than try to make them look bad by showing a different side of furry than what their seeing. Bullies lose their "power" when they look foolish and wrong. Most bullies are looking for acceptance from others and if you can show everyone else your positive side then the bully loses.
  This topic has brought up a lot of forgotten (repressed) memories of my teen years. But as someone who has been thru it trust me it does get better. And years from now when you run into the wreck who used to bully you you'll have the satisfaction of knowing your better off in life than they are. And that makes it worth the wait!

I got 2 mails a few weeks ago. One of them was, "Eww furry perv' and the other was, 'Woah, furry? Aren't they the ones who do the nasty in fursuits? You don't seem the type...aren't you 15?'


-_-' The first I ignored, the second I responded to and got an 'ahh, ok, I get it now' deal.


I told one of my freinds (a guy) that I'm Furry. he kept going on and on about how I need to shave, if that's the case! I couldn't stop laughing and decided NOT to tell him what Furry is for the moment, lol.

[RoseWind]

Quote (Ulario @ Feb. 05 2004, 10:50 pm)

Mainly because of the fact that I'm pagan.  If I had a quarter for every time I've been told that I'm going to hell, I could buy a new fursuit.  I've learned to deal with it since my beliefs are my beliefs and nothing is going to change them.

As a fellow pagan i agree whole heartedly

As for the rest of it no one except maybe my little brother and my only other furry friend know about it, my mom would probably go on one of her "be careful on those sites" talks and my dad would say something in that direction (that is if they even know what a furry is) I plan on letting my classmates know slowly once i get my website working (i cant find a host and i cant get furtopia to work '> ) anyway once I get it working (through some miracle) My classmates may start reading it and learning about it that way.  I get made fun of enough (they dont even realize their making fun of me when they talk about wicca) without letting them know, theyll all find out by looking at my laptop screen eventually anyway  

[LilKitten]

Well, Kattywampus, I think your purty '>... so don't worry about what other people say because you a lot prettier than a lot of people I have seen... and with the Wiccan thing I actually know how you feel (Forgot who said that.) People called me a witch (Yeah, I live in a christian bible belt) and left me alone when I lied and told them all I worshiped satan... I know how to get to people '>... and Raef, I know we got off to a bad start, but I know someone who was in the exact same position as you when she was 15 (^^)... and a friend as well... PLady is now a respecable artist (PLadywolf is her AIM name if ya wana talk to her, she went to my school).  I'm 18 now... and I have seen what has happened to most of those people.  They will eventually get it in the end... now, those same people who made fun of me I use as floor mats at school.  I was shy... and I could never talk back to someone like that, and when I did, they would laugh.  I don't care about their feelings now, and well... just try to over look what they say.  There was one really bad college football team that always lost every football game, and in the end of every game, they would chant "That's alright!  That's ok!  Your gona work for us some day!" because eventually, everyone who graduated from that college because like, managers of big buisnesses.  They will get their pay back... or, you can do like me and be a she-dog x.x...  I could assure you, if I went to your school, they wouldn't do that to you anymore.  I usually don't say anything or stick up for anyone... but I had to sit, listen, and watch Tia being made fun of, every day almost, and it upset me so much... and trust me, those people would not be able to sit down for a year if I got ahold of them.  They don't understand... and they judge without knowing... and "think" they know... when they don't.  I don't walk around and tell people, only a select few of my friends know, because I know what reaction it gets.

[Drakalu]

Quote (Ulario @ Feb. 05 2004, 10:50 pm)

Anyways, the only person that you need to please is yourself.

This is so true.  I too have been following a pagan path for a number of years so I undestand what you are talking about.  Before that I was picked on because of the usual reasons though for the most part I did not let it get to me.  Consider the source, why does someone have a problem with who you are or your beliefs?  Most times it is because they either have a self-esteem issue of their own or they are ignorant of anything besides their own world.  I have been told that I am going to hell and that I need to be saved because of the stigma of the label someone else has given me.  The truth is I am more of a "christian" than those that attend church regularly.

So what's the moral to this little story?  Do not be afraid to be who you are.  Some will accept you and some won't.  That is a fact of life.  What matters is what you think about yourself.  Be confident and comfortable with who you are.... those that really matter will accept you whether they agree with you or not.  This will always be true.  Just know that you always have family and friends who will love you no matter what.

Brightest Blessings and So Drago Be,

[LilKitten]

I hate people who don't "practice what they preach."  And I competely agree, the only person you should please is yourself.

[Drakalu]

... and your mate, though that is a different subject entirely.    '>  '>

[LilKitten]

Aww... after reading this it makes me sad... no one picks at me... aww *Gives everyone a hug.* I'm to mean for anyone to pick at, cause what they give to me I give back five times. '>... Why can't people just get over it and get along.

"Why can't people just get over it and get along."


Cause people are stupid, ignorant, and mundane? Hehehe....mostly, anyway...the gifted few who aren't are smashed and battered for being different. Power to yaz '>

[BlueFox]

just like Tobodai, i didnt really have any friends until i came here (life is much better now!'>, for i was always the different person, the one no one really understood... especcially this year, sixth grade where everyones just trying to be cool and get in on all the new "trends". my advice would just to take it has it is. sometimes i do wish people were different in that way though...

[Jybian]

getting picked on is never fun and untill umm... last year it happened to me for being the weird kid who nobody understood. occasionally I would sleep in class and curl up in my desk. instead of snoring i purred wierd huh? well I'm not in school anymore and curl up for a good cat-nap whenever. If you really are being harrased for being furry or whatever there are always two things to remeber.
1. the people doing this have no balls and don't know themselves yet
2. You are you don't let them get to you if you do it only serves their purpose

[Drakalu]

No one can do anything to you unless you give them the power to do so.  Be comfortable and confident with who you are because untimatly the only ones you have to answer to are yourself and your creator (however you choose to view it/them).  All others come beneath that... parents and teachers deserve your respect as they are doing what they can to guide and look out for you.  Friends are those that walk with us for a time during our journies.  All others play only minor roles and deserve the same weight in how we live our lives.

I have much to say about this because I see it on a regular basis... far too often for my tastes.  *sighs*

[agius]

Quote (Drakalu @ Feb. 20 2004, 10:56 am)

No one can do anything to you unless you give them the power to do so.

Ah, thank you.

Seriously, ignoring bullies is the same as enabling them. Bullies don't pick on others because they're jealous, or they have issues of their own (I know I'm contradicting people here, but it's true), or any other reason than because they can. The only language most bullies speak is force, and the only way to get them to stop is to stand up for yourself. I always got mad in middle school (the worst 3 years of my life) because bullies never got in trouble for picking on me, but every time I stood up for myself I got in trouble. That made it really hard for me to figure out that it really didn't matter whether I got in trouble or not: standing up for yourself, defending your rights, is the only way to preserve them.

'course, once I got to high school everything was fine. High school rocks.

[Drakalu]

You will still see it even after high school though that is the point where the type of bullying changes from physical to psychological.  Sometimes you will have to do something in life that you don't want to or don't agree with but must be done.  Sometimes however you must take a stand for yourself, beliefs, identity, loved ones, etc and say enough is enough.  When people realize they truly can't push you around.... they stop.

[snarfle]

Hum. Do I want peeps to know me for being gay, a Pagan, a furry, or what? I'd rather peeps first and formost knew for being a guy. A basicaly kewl furry pagan whos also gay? Kinda a mouthfull! Lol. But of the 3, furry is to me more fun first label.

Some peeps cant be themself except maybe in secret imagination. Due to their parents while they are kids. Some are afraid to openly be themself as adult due to cultural taboos, discrimination, or thinking they'll be regarded as someone who "needs to grow up". Others, unafraid let themself be as they are. The Furry fire burning brightly in & thru them. Both for their own sense of selfness manifest. And as a lamp for others at ether end of the poles of being/not being themself freelly.

Pssst. Life often travels the dusty road. Plenty of rocks. A few fallen trees. Across. Crossing, makes one stronger. Then could be. Down paved highway.

If you cant openly be yourself. Be so in that secret refuge within & in pretend. Your furryness understands & supports that way. In the outside world, you can use creative fun or silly replies to queries bout being a furry. Such can imo, break the ice and melt discrimination. If I tell someone that "Yes I'm a furry & I take it serious". You get a diff responce then if you had said something like: "Yeah I like furry, is fun and sometimes I even get petted". They might laugh with you in the latter. And such types of responces to queries are imo more conducive to your being regarded first as a peep.  

Bullies normally stop bullying once you show your willing to stand up to them, and even fight back. Dont go about with a victim attitude. Try to get someone you know as a capable street fighter to teach you the basics. Once you know & can apply those. You generally lose that "I gotta prove myself" thinking And you get bothered less & in fewer fights. Cause peeps are more prone to not pick or see you as a victim type. Furries have a strong connection to animal spiritedness. Even little bunnies can thump with feets and so on. If a bunny type, identify with one like one from Monty Python. LOL. Is a dangerous bunny, beware! Lol.

Parents tell kids fightings wrong, or dont fight. Unwillingness to fight just fosters victim mindset. If your immune system bought the dont fight attitude. You'd soon die of simple otherwise harmless bacteria invasions.

Attitude is everything. If you think someone is going to hurt you or try to hurt you. You can either think defensively, or you can decide your willing to hurt them. Once you can make that attitude shift, you'll find would be attackers often back down. Or at least leave you alone after that first skirmish where you showed real willingness to hurt them. If they wont leave you alone after that. Then have them arrested and charged with assault by the police. Refuse to be a passive victim. And you'll stop being a victim.
I wish you a peaceful life. Personal peacefullness imo more comes from a real willingness to whomp what would deny you peace. Wether thats an ilness your trying to beat. Or a bully your trying to beat in responce to ther attempt to see if you'll let them beat you.

Thats my view.

[FlameWulf]

I have been picked on my entire life. Mostly when i was younger. Now people are just afriad of me, probably becuase im a gothic furry.*gasp*Yeah i know its not a common combination but its who i am and im proud of it. Unfortunately "normal" people hate goths and they seem to hate(or just dislike) furries so when you are both of these things the hate is twice as strong.
I have very few friends because of this.

I have never told anyone that im a furry, but it shows in my personality. I think my Mom might know about it but she doesnt really know what to think of it. My best friend knows about furries as artwork and he thinks its pretty cool, But he knows nothing of the furry fandom or anything. At first i think he would think it was a little odd but he wouldnt hate me for it. My other friends might however so i dont plan on telling anybody about about being a furry unless they ask.

Unfortunanty your right Snarfle....most of the time you have to fight back to get a bully to leave you alone. Sometimes that doesnt even work. They just keep trying to fight you. I agree with everyone here so far. If someone has such a closed mind that they pick on you or beat you up because they dont understand you. Then they are the ones with the problems. Not you. They are the insecure ones. The ones that feel they need to prove themselves to be liked. I know its hard. But dont let them get to you. But i also dont recomend fighting them unless you have to. Try ignoring them or talking to them first. If that still doesnt work, then if i was you i would teach them a lesson.

These are just my views. im not trying to tell people what to do. Im just stating the way i would deal with things.