furry arts discussion > furry storytelling

Paws's short story challenge

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So, I think I finally have a word for you. Being as you seem to be big of cars and other motorized vehicles, I will suggest the word engine. Let's see what you can do with that. ;)

As for this story, it wasnt really boring. It was interesting to read what one person (the main character) thinks about their own life, while another person may think differently. Maybe if someone were to be doing the same thing over and over, that may eventually become boring to them. I like at the end that you said all that mattered was that he liked his life, no matter how boring of an existence he may think it was. Keep this up. :)


Florescent lights flashed past as Sophie ran down the hallway. Each passing light left a slight burning after image on her retina as she passed, then carried over to the next light and blurred the entire lighting system into a singular white strip.

She had to escape. The entire base had been compromised and the alleged assailants had informed the occupants only minutes ago that they intended to remove the control rods from the central reactor. To accomplish this they had already disabled the alarm systems and safety shut-down systems in a matter of minutes. Sophie had assumed that there was as tech guru among the terrorist organisation who had infiltrated the systems.

She rounded a corner, dropped down to all of her paws for extra speed and sprinted toward the exit door located at the end of the adjoining corridor.
Pens, paper, notes and even her purse escaped from her pockets as she flew over the linoleum floor. The horizontal angle of her clothing did not allow items to be held in their pockets via gravity. Thankfully the important equipment was strapped securely to her belt for times just like this. Her ever present radio and pistol along with the super-bright tactical torch that she always carried.
When she reached the door she found it to be locked. Standing up she opened the control panel and was greeted by the always annoying artificial intelligence named Andy.
"Please state your name and pass code to login" said Andy, as emotionless as ever, despite his programmers giving him the ability to show limited emotion for a trial in AI technology.
"Sophie, number two four five one dash alpha" replied Sophie in a clear tone to avoid confusion over the background humming of machines.

"Your full name please miss Sophie, you know the rules" said Andy in a mocking tone.
"Oh give me a break you mechanical oaf"
"Full name"
"Sophie Bryer" she said with a huff.
"Passcode" asked Andy again.
"You twit!" she screamed.
"System corrupt, commence automatic shut-down. enter safe mode. mobile unit will activate in thirty minutes"

Sophie screamed again and pounded on the exit door. With Andy out of service and his mobile version not active for a further half an hour she was going to have to try and find another way out of the complex before the terrorists carried out their goal.

She turned around and came face to face with a large burly armed, short legged gorilla wearing a black woollen balaclava and wielding a high wattage laser rifle.
The gorilla charged with the butt of his rifle aimed at Sophie's head, she ducked under it quick as the eye could see and smashed the ape in the face with her paw. The gorilla recoiled at the impact and stumbled back and finally fell to the floor, dazed. She unsnapped her pistol and prepared to draw it on the gorilla if he stood up once again.
Suddenly stars exploded in Sophie's feline vision and she lost all sensation in her limbs. As she collapsed to the floor she saw another large ape who had snuck up behind her.

Sophie awoke with a start but upon realising that she was in a room with more of the terrorists she promptly closed her eyes and relaxed again, hoping they had not noticed.
They had not and kept grunting to one another in a language that Sophie did not recognise.

she opened her eyes just a crack to get a view of her surroundings. From between her eyelashes she could see that she was in the medical wing in one of the bays.

"Sophie" someone whispered.
she looked around slowly trying to see who had called her name.
"Sophie Bryer" came the voice again, right in her ear. She realised that her headset was still on, the voice was Andy who was broadcasting from her portable radio.
"Sophie, wiggle your ears if you can hear me, i'm looking at you from the camera to your left" said Andy, for once sounding friendly. Sophie complied and wiggled her left ear for him to see.

"Good, they shut the whole place down, the control rods have begun exiting chamber, you do not have much time. All door passcodes have been changed but I have been able to watch the infiltrators punch in the numbers. I will relay these numbers when you reach the appropriate doors. Your sidearm is still unsnapped, I have unlocked the remote safety on it. You must shoot the gas canister to your right front, in the corner of the room. It contains laughing gas, so take a deep breath before discharging your firearm then make your way to the door. Wiggle your ears again if you comply."

Sophie took a moment to digest this vast amount of information that Andy had offered. she wiggled her ears again.

"Open your eyes when you are ready and I shall disable the restraints, do not hesitate. I am keeping you locked up until the last possible second to keep the infiltrators unaware."

Sophie took a moment to compile herself then opened her eyes. Andy released the restraints almost instantly which was an amazing feat considering he was operating from the small confines of her hip mounted radio.
Quick as a flash she pulled out her primitive projectile pistol, chambered a round and fired on the gas cylinder. The shot was straight and true and pierced the canister as she took one last breath of fresh air. The various ape species within the room jumped with fright, with their jump came a lung full of the medical gas and sent them sprawling to the floor, writhing and squirming, occasionally giggling.
She lept out of her tilted bed where she had been placed and made a run for the door.

"2332" read Andy and she punched in the code. The door slid open and she sprinted out.
"You are in the south end of the medical wing, the closes exit is to your right but judging by your body temperature, sweat analysis and tail movements I can make an educated guess that you intend on stabilising the reactor core, correct?" asked Andy.

"So you have been watching me in your spare time, you know me too well." said Sophie through her mouthpeice.

"After the emotion upgrade i became attached to certain people, you would call it 'friendship' and now with my main server gone, I will do anything to help you get out of here alive." said Andy honestly.

"You sound like you're hurt." said Sophie as she began running toward the reactor complex.
"Of course I hurt, I just had several subroutines shut down and half of my code pulled apart, to you that's like having your arms and legs ripped off and your torso set of fire!"
"I didn't realise, sorry."
"Lets just get this over with so you can upload me into a proper server when we are out of here."

Sophie reached the main door to the reactor room, punched the code and opened it. inside were fifteen apes.
A large mischievous grin spread across the tigers face as she drew her firearm.

"Get them." said Andy flatly.

phew! that was a long one! think that flowed better than the previous. wanted to try an action peice this time. will take a crack at yours soon Jet  :D

Cool story Typing!  The pace was fast, and like you said, it really did flow well.  That was also kind of touching when Andy and Sophie reconcile (and a bit unexpected :)).  So after you are done with Jet's story, here is another word for you: maximum.


"This is it." thought Jake as the pit crew pushed the vehicle to the start line.
Jake worked over the procedure for his quarter mile run, months of work had gone into his vehicle to get it to this moment. The competition was not anything to scoff at either. The challenger was an old school friend of his and Jake knew that his car had many thousands of dollars spent on it. But Jake also knew that his competitor, Phill, had little mechanical knowledge. Most of his vehicle was made from off the shelf parts that required no more ingenuity to put together than a difficult jigsaw puzzle.

When the crew had positioned the car and given Jake the go ahead to start he began the procedure.
First he turned on the fuel supply and pressurised the system, along with the oil supply. Then to the crowds shock he exited the early model Van and inserted a crank handle into a receptacle just behind the drivers door.
The crowd laughed out loud at this ridiculous act as Jake grabbed hold of the crank handle with his paws and began to turn it.
Jake strained as the handle was very hard to turn but after several seconds he had picked up speed and a low whine was becoming audible to his sensitive ears. Jake smirked, no one had any idea what was going on while Phill was busy warming up his engine and impressing the crowd.

"Oh you're so gonna get it" said Jake to himself, a toothy grin spreading across his face. the Pit crew glanced at one another, still puzzled at the goings on. One approached with an inquisitive look.
"Are you aware that you are not permitted outside your vehicle?" he said.
"I wont be long, just about ready to fire it up." replied Jake.

The whine has increased to a higher pitch and now most of the crowd could hear it. They still however looked puzzled.
Jake was now panting as he reached full speed on the crank handle. With one swift movement he removed the handle and got back in the drivers seat.
"Keep away from the exhaust guys" he said loudly over the whine and pointed to the large diameter opening just in front of the back wheel.

Jake flipped the ignition switch to 'on' and then hovered his paw over the 'start' button. "CONTACT!" he yelled at the top of his lungs and pressed the button.
There was a small groan that was replaced by the whining noise decreasing in pitch with each corresponding compression stroke as the inertial starter flywheel turned the ten litre engine over.

A gout of flame shot out of the exhaust and the engine exploded to life, drowning out all other noise. White unburned fuel vapour poured out the exhaust and engulfed the van as the engine coughed and spluttered while it warmed up each of it's nine cylinders.
Jake had always wanted to yell that out when starting an engine, normally no one was around to hear him though. Especially when his daily drive was a small pathetic hatchback.

The smoke had cleared and the engine temperature had reached an acceptable level. Jake prepared to warm up the tires on the burn-out pad. He locked the front brakes on and dumped the clutch in third gear. The engine shuddered slightly under the high load at no throttle but kept ticking away. Jake drove his boot into it, mashing the throttle peddle into the floor. Smoke bellowed out from the rear wheel arches and heat waves from the exhaust distorted the vision of the pavement surrounding the exhaust ports.
The crowd was silent for a moment, no one had ever seen anyone drop a burnout at idle speed before and apply the throttle afterwards. The silence did not last long, soon they were all cheering and waving their beverages and flags around in a boisterous manor.

He released the brakes and the van lurched forward, leaving a smelly white smoke trail behind it. Disengaging the clutch and allowing the engine to return to it's usual rough idle, Jake selected reverse and made his way back to the white painted line. He snatched a glance over at Phill who looked a little nervous but revved his engine anyway, giving voice to the challenge.

Jake readied himself, the yellow warning light had illuminated, indicating for both drivers to ready themselves. Jake could hear Phill increase his revs in preparation as the lights descended toward the green 'Go' light.
Jake now bumped the RPM of his radial engine into the low thousands.
The green light lit up and both contestants mashed the throttle peddle into a pulp. Phill had the jump on Jake and quickly selected second gear bot to no matter. Jake roared past still in first gear and overtook the V8 Ute in a flash. He grabbed second gear and accelerated further, the van leaning over to the side as the huge torque from the engine being transmitted through the driveline twisted the suspension.
After grabbing third gear Jake glanced up in his rear view mirror, in the small space left between the mid-mounted engine housing and the roof he could see through the back window the expression on Phill's face as he dwindled into the distance. He chortled and selected forth gear, the finish line was rushing up the greet him.
Jake screamed over the white painted surface and began the arduous process of slowing down. Full engine braking locked up the wheels and too much hydraulic brake overheated the pads so he was forced to alternate between the two methods. Phill on the other hand simply deployed his chute and slowed down much faster.

When Jake reached and acceptable speed he turned and made his way back to the start of the drag strip to collect his time ticket. He smiled and punched the air out the window, all that work had paid off. The hassles of procuring an aircraft radial engine, installing it and then beefing up the driveline in a very inappropriate vehicle.

Later that night, Jake was in a pub, celebrating with his friends when Phill barged in the door looking a little annoyed. "You!" he began. "What the heck have you got in that thing?"
"less power than you do" replied Jake. This thoroughly confused Phill and he came over and sat to listen.
"You're running what? 800 horsepower at the wheels?" began Jake.
"850" replied Phill.
"only 560 for me, but i'm also pumping out about tripple the amount of torque you are producing and my power band is very very wide" explained Jake.
"It's still not fair, I was supposed to win that race"
"I'm not sure why you're complaining, you did!"
"Take a look at your ticket, I exceeded the time window, you win by default." finished Jake.

Phill smiled and thanked Jake, but before leaving he asked one more question; "can I ask why you're celebrating?"

Jake laughed. "I still destroyed your time!"

there....not super happy with it, but i added some more specifics in it that the average reader would not understand, this is because of the nature of the word Engine. sometimes you must appeal to a certain group of readers?
onto Maximum  8)

You talk about car stuff like IRC talks about...computer stuff. :D I loved the way you broke it all down and elaborated on all the details, even though some of it is a bit verbose for the average reader (nothing a little googling doesn't solve ;)).  But still, I much enjoyed it!


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