Author Topic: Why the need to tell about furry? (Read 78029 times)

Wrangell · « **Reply #100 on:** September 11, 2013, 09:04:32 pm »

I haven't seen a problem expressing my furry side. Everyone I've talked about it to thinks it's cool! I still live with my mom and she is pretty cool with it and has been helping me do my anthro drawings. Your worst enemy is yourself, people are less judgmental then you think

Christiaan · « **Reply #101 on:** September 12, 2013, 05:25:26 pm »

Sorry, Wrangell, but some parents are not very tolerant of their children having remotely different interests.

My father attempted from the day I was born to instill in me an interest in hunting and other aspects of the "I wanna be a redneck, harrr, fart, moon-pies, let's go sling some mud" doctrine. When I was 8, I told him that I questioned the ethics of hunting, and I intimated that I had a more intellectual bent in my character and different interests from his.

What followed was ten years of feeling like a scantly-trained soldier trying to survive behind enemy lines. If you really want to hear what that is like, ask anybody who has gone through the misery of being rejected by their families and communities. It isn't pretty. I've heard stories that make mine look relatively tame.

I've known furries in places like P. Bucket County, South Carolina who have been driven to the point of being forced to drop out of school out of fear for their very lives, and one of them that I talked to recently couldn't even get his parents to give him a lift in the morning to try to earn his GED after going to that extreme.

The rejection that some people would face for being anything but a carbon-copy of their moms or dads (only more mindless and obedient) can really be that intense.

But I've also known furries who described their families and communities to me, and I said readily, "Okay, so your Dad is a sci-fi nut who reads more Manga than you do and actually speaks fluent Japanese from watching so much undubbed anime, and your mother is a Jewish Wiccan who believes in tree-spirits? Go ahead and tell them. I can guarantee your dad would personally drive you to Anthrocon and have a bigger blast than you." And I have often been right about those kinds of assessments.

The point is, everyone's situation is different, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what kind of situation you are in. You, Wrangell, are extremely blessed to have such a supportive family and community. I hope that you realize that.

GrayWolf448 · « **Reply #102 on:** September 13, 2013, 02:02:30 am »

ya im one of those few who want to tell my family. i have no idea why i want to tho :/ for me iv got to say it's a little more than a hobby. but after maybe 3-5 months still no luck :/ just cant find the right time. well... i did a few times but i didn't take it kinda wish i did.

Wrangell · « **Reply #103 on:** September 13, 2013, 02:31:39 am »

Thank you Christiaan. I did skip over some parts didn't I. Everyone's situation is different. Some people live with families that don't accept you for who you are and some do. Even though I told my mom and she is helping me with my art she still has no clue what a furry is (even though I told her I was a furry). The reason she helps me is because she is an art teacher. I do feel blessed to have her, but the dark side is she is all I have right now as far as immediate family goes. My dad passed away 5 years ago on a rafting accident we were on. To this day it haunts me and it messes with my head, being a furry has helped me cope with this. My situation is a hit and miss and only time will tell the more I express who I am.

GrayWolf448 · « **Reply #104 on:** September 13, 2013, 02:41:38 am »

Quote from: Wrangell on September 13, 2013, 02:31:39 am

My dad passed away 5 years ago on a rafting accident we were on. To this day it haunts me and it messes with my head, being a furry has helped me cope with this. My situation is a hit and miss and only time will tell the more I express who I am.

sorry to hear about your dad :/ hope things in life are going good for you.

Wrangell · « **Reply #105 on:** September 13, 2013, 02:58:00 am »

Quote from: GrayWolf448 on September 13, 2013, 02:41:38 am

Quote from: Wrangell on September 13, 2013, 02:31:39 am
My dad passed away 5 years ago on a rafting accident we were on. To this day it haunts me and it messes with my head, being a furry has helped me cope with this. My situation is a hit and miss and only time will tell the more I express who I am.

sorry to hear about your dad :/ hope things in life are going good for you.

Life is going as good as it can be. I read that you want to tell your parents. Depending on their personalities will depend on how you should address this information. What I'm doing is a slow and steady method by not just full out saying "hay everybody I'm a furry!" people will mostly likely not get it. just start doing little things like practicing art. then move on to just talk about your fursona as a character you created. somehow put it in your everyday life without overwhelming changes. This might not work for everyone, but it's something to try if you like. Hope this helps

GrayWolf448 · « **Reply #106 on:** September 16, 2013, 03:08:06 am »

my parents will most likely be ok with it. iv just been waiting for the right time. sadly my mom has been spending less time with us lately and more time with her friends. so far only my brother knows and he is keeping it very secret.

Edit: just today i finally told my mom

after 3 months i finally just said sc**w it and said "i have no idea why kids at school hate furries" good thing is she didn't know what a furry is. also she took it very well she said that she was proud that i found something else i like than the computer lol oh almost forgot i told my mom about fursuits and she offered to make me one... that would be very cool for holloween but my dad still doesn't know but my mom may tell him not sure tho. also not so sure if i would wear it to school and we would have only a month to make it.

Graywolf440 · « **Reply #107 on:** September 21, 2013, 10:47:03 pm »

Quote from: GrayWolf448 on September 16, 2013, 03:08:06 am

my parents will most likely be ok with it. iv just been waiting for the right time. sadly my mom has been spending less time with us lately and more time with her friends. so far only my brother knows and he is keeping it very secret.

Edit: just today i finally told my mom after 3 months i finally just said sc**w it and said "i have no idea why kids at school hate furries" good thing is she didn't know what a furry is. also she took it very well she said that she was proud that i found something else i like than the computer lol oh almost forgot i told my mom about fursuits and she offered to make me one... that would be very cool for holloween but my dad still doesn't know but my mom may tell him not sure tho. also not so sure if i would wear it to school and we would have only a month to make it.

You sure have an awesome mom. And how interesting. We have nearly identicle names

GrayWolf448 · « **Reply #108 on:** September 22, 2013, 02:06:24 am »

Quote from: Graywolf440 on September 21, 2013, 10:47:03 pm

You sure have an awesome mom. And how interesting. We have nearly identicle names

wow thats strange XD
oh btw happy b-day was just looking at the calender and noticed it was you b-day 26 minutes ago.

Scupper · « **Reply #109 on:** October 02, 2013, 01:16:09 am »

I concur. The only time I felt a need to tell anyone anything was when I commissioned my fursuit. I just couldn’t contain myself.
All but one of the comments I got from the people I showed were good, along the lines of "Sweet costume man." that sort of thing.
Now if I had made a big deal about it or something I am pretty sure that the opposite would have occurred. Its just a hobby, Some people are more into it than others, but don't make it confusing for people that don't share your feelings.

Skupper Out~

Kobuk · « **Reply #110 on:** October 09, 2013, 03:32:18 pm »

Quote

The only people that are making the fandom look bad and creating all the negativity ARE THE FURRIES THEMSELVES, not the media, not your friends, not your family! The more you whine and complain about what the media, friends, family, etc. is doing to the fandom, and the more you "advertise" (talk and/or show) about any bad aspects within the fandom, then the more the media, friends, family, etc. will pick up on that stuff and write about it. Non-furry people aren't to blame here, folks. It's us! We're the ones creating the drama and negativity. Need more proof? Just go look in a mirror sometime.

jinxy · « **Reply #111 on:** February 24, 2014, 04:24:10 am »

I know this thread is old but I thought I would add my concerns on 'coming out'.

I've loved anthro since I was little but only discovered the furry scene recently at a comic con. However one of my friends HATES furrys because he had some work 'friends' that do the whole fur sex thing. Of course this dissuades most of my other friends too, although I am never afraid to point out the talent and skill in making such things.
That said I think I am slowly getting them used to the concept of furrys, first by my faun Cosplay and then by talk of making a quad suit (for another Cosplay). I also love to remind them that not everyone who spends hours making these suits wants to get them dirty. I guess to most people I know, they view furrys as a kinky/ freaky sex thing as opposed to a hobby. It is a real pity that people miss out simply because they can be naive or narrow minded.

the lone shadow wolf · « **Reply #112 on:** March 26, 2014, 10:41:12 pm »

thats exactly why i dont want to reveal it to other friends and family because i dont want them to see me and all other furries in the wrong aspect because i would not have the nerve, gut or credibility to change such a terrible view about my liking.

Acton · « **Reply #113 on:** December 13, 2014, 08:55:30 pm »

Another reason why I tell is a moral reason . I try to live a clear and moral life, For me to lie to somebody if asked whether I'm a furry is a sin.

Shim · « **Reply #114 on:** December 15, 2014, 03:15:45 pm »

4 years later, let's try this again.

It's a pretty vital part of my life. A lot of my friends are furries, and my parents are pretty liberal about whatever it is I want to do with my life so it hasn't changed our relationship any. My Dad was willing to drive out to Rosemont from where i live at 3:00 AM to pick me, Ziel, Alsek, Choco, and Relaxing Dragon up from the hotel during the chlorine shennanigans.

Given it's such an important part of my life, I don't see why I should have to keep it "hidden" from anybody else. It's a fandom. Come on. As long as you're not being weird about it, nobody will really care one way or another.

HazardJackal · « **Reply #115 on:** December 15, 2014, 04:02:50 pm »

Well, i've pretty much decided that i have no choice but to call myself one of you now. I honestly don't know how much my parents know about the fandom, or how deeply involved i am in it, but they haven't said anything negative about it yet. As for my friends... well only two of them actually know and they don't seem particularly happy about it, but i don't feel that it's impacted our friendship in any significant way.

So yeah, i don't feel the need to tell people any more than what they want to hear.

Doc · « **Reply #116 on:** May 11, 2015, 11:24:45 pm »

I am part of the new, young generation of Furries (14 years old) and I only told two people on this planet. One: my mom. She asked and has a right to know. She knows nothing of what the fandom is except what I explained to her. The other person is a classmate of mine. I was viewing the Geek Hierarchy and asked where she was on it. She didn't see her place and asked where I was. I pointed at "Furries" which was at the very top. She asked what it was and I kept it simple: it is a fandom. She said OK and the matter was dropped.

I don't know why people want to "come out" as Furries, either. It is an interest. A hobby. Nobody "comes out" as a Minecrafter. Or a Halo player. I did, however, post a picture of my first drawing on Facebook and Instagram. Got a few likes and comments, but no questions as to why I drew him.

If a Hindu is in a room full of Muslims, the Hindu isn't going to tell anybody. Unless a Muslim asks, then the Hindu might tell. The Hindu isn't going to announce that he is Hindu, because who knows what will happen? The point is, font tell anybody you're furry unless they ask. Simple as that.

Rocket T. Coyote · « **Reply #117 on:** September 08, 2015, 10:35:04 pm »

As the comedy troupe Da Yoopers' had a motto: The Most Fun You Can Have With Your Clothes On.

Bronx · « **Reply #118 on:** September 08, 2015, 11:00:49 pm »

I guess the only reason for me to tell people would be for me to be able to fully express myself. I may tell my aunt soon, because we are very close, and she was the first one I told that I had HOCD (that was a year ago, I'm over it now.) She was really embracing and encouraging and I feel like she would do the same here.

I most likely won't tell my friends unless they ask, which they might considering I'm showing it more and more. However, my best friend is kind of a wildcard. I don't know how he would take it; the only reason he doesn't like (or acts like he doesn't like) furries is because of all the crap I told him back when I thought furries were weird. If he asks, I wouldn't lie about it, but I feel like he would be really confused

The Fox Man · « **Reply #119 on:** November 30, 2015, 12:18:33 am »

Hey kobuk! I Tottaly had the same proplem when i became a furry (about 3 months ago). when i found out I was a furry, after a couple of days i had to vent it somehow. so i started drawing furry art (even though i suck at it). I finnaly told someone. that someone was my greatest friend Ethan. I told him because he is in a fandom almost even more embarasing. He is a Brony. so the moral is, you dont have to hold in your secret all your life, find a "vent" or tell your furryness to someone you trust (not mom or dad, they will think your weird.)

Your Freindly Fox
-Alex

Literate Lycan · « **Reply #120 on:** January 07, 2016, 12:53:01 am »

I'm approaching this from a very different perspective.

I'm a widowed parent of two teenagers. I'm the furry--relatively new to the fandom, but in hindsight I've been one for years. My kids are not. One of the kids asked if I was, and I evaded the question. The other, who's an anime fan and cosplayer, probably hasn't even thought about it.

Would I say anything to them? Not at present. They'd be convinced that Dad's gone completely around the bend.

What about other family? No. They don't live anywhere near me. They have their own interests and hobbies; I have mine.

What if one of my kids becomes involved in furry fandom? I would hope that they'd trust me not to disparage their choice and that I'd be cool with it. Even if I wasn't a furry myself I'd support their interest. I'd be the kind of parent who, as one earlier poster said, goes to a fur con and has as much fun as my kid.

Eventually I may relent and say something to the anime-fan teen. I keep hinting about showing up at an anime con in a cosplay outfit...like a fursuit. :-)

Tomasina · « **Reply #121 on:** March 18, 2016, 02:37:53 pm »

I didn't even know for the longest time there was a name for furry fans or that there was a community. I came up with these half cat half human characters when i was little and played them all the time and when i was to old to play I continued to just drawl them and make up stories. I remember finding out there was a actual community when someone saw my pictures and started teasing me and calling me a furry. I just looked at him like he was stupid I had no idea what he was talking about. I went home and looked it up and found out I was apart of something! It was really exciting to see other peoples versions of what Ive always been into.

Literate Lycan · « **Reply #122 on:** April 06, 2016, 03:06:51 am »

Well, my kids now know Dad's a furry. They seem reasonably OK with it. It was time to say something. After having little social life for the past few years, they were probably wondering why Dad was going out with friends every week or so. They deserved to hear the truth.

I have revealed nothing to any other family member.

ZedCoyote · « **Reply #123 on:** April 06, 2016, 09:17:34 pm »

I answered this question many years ago. Long story short my family found out about furry fandom through me making fursuit stuff and not cleaning up my mess properly. It wasn't a big deal at all, and never ended up one with my parents. It's so little of a deal the word "furry" never even really came up after that but they knew I had a great appreciation for animal artwork and such. My parents buy me fox figures and other similar things time to time. Some people I absolutely wish I never shared it with though; even if they seemed very open about it and loved it at first. Not everyone will like everything you like or everything about you; and some won't be okay with it, some will try to influence you to change what you like.

I came out of a different closet years later. Honestly there was no comparison to the amount of fear experienced between the two. Furry stuff just doesn't seem like a big deal at all to me still. It's something fun and just like any other science fiction based fandom out there. Above all, being a furry is a choice. So deciding to share something that is a choice and being ridiculed for it is quite different than being ridiculed for something that isn't choice. The openness is similar though. When we open up to people and share parts of our life with them its a motion of trust so it can be extremely painful when you are rejected by those close to you for something. Humans crave other human bonding, and we bond by sharing ourselves with others. We crave making those connections and its difficult not to share things about yourself to those you want to be closer to. We want others to know more about us and in turn hopefully learn more about them too. I'd rather have a few people that really like me for being me than lots of people like me when I'm trying to be what I think they want me to be (that's exhausting).

I'm pretty sleepy right now so that may come off as a lot of rambling but hopefully its somewhat understandable. ><; Just be you. If furry fandom is something that excites you so much you just can't help but feel like sharing it with others then that is great! If it's not quite that important but you still enjoy it but identify more with other hobbies and things that make you you then that is great too. It doesn't really matter as long as you are being authentic. Also remember that no one is liked by everyone.

Rocket T. Coyote · « **Reply #124 on:** July 17, 2016, 02:14:49 pm »

More recently, in our local CAP cadet promotion review boards a certain question asked of the candidate has become a standard: "If you could be any animal, which one would you be?" It helps break the ice.

It wasn't my idea either.