Author Topic: Edit Me  (Read 1343 times)

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Offline Varg the wanderer

  • Species: Maligator/Tervuren
  • Furtopia cannot be held down!
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  • Male
  • Posts: 3046
    • My writings and leatherwork at SoFurry!
Edit Me
« on: November 06, 2003, 04:57:06 pm »
I wrote this litteraly last hour in Trig.  It could use some serious editing before it's any good though.  Open to any suggestuons to make it better too.

He is the wolf within me
my drive to survive
sometimes he is the soul reason that I push on to live
he refuses to die

In the woods and at night
he wakens
and wishes to be free of this clumbsy body
and the shared ownership of it with this mind.
He wants to run in the woods
with a pack of his own kind.
he wants to have controll.

I fight him
I try to resist him, and maintain my sanity

In society he submits,
he hates the city, people and lights.

at night, he returns.
He comes with such power
that I must give in
i have no choice
then he has it
controll

He is in me
and there for is me
and I am a wolf.
My writings and other stuff: https://varg-stigandr.sofurry.com/

"I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by." - Douglas Adams

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Offline Kada-Ru

  • Species: Golden Blue Pegasus
  • Member Since: 11-29-2002 Web Admin!
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  • Female
  • Posts: 9701
    • Kaycy's Creations for Fun
Edit Me
« Reply #1 on: November 07, 2003, 12:30:22 am »
Suggestion only:

He is the wolf within me
my drive to survive
sometimes he is the soul reason
that I push on to live
yet he refuses to die

In the woods and at night
he wakens and wishes
to be free of this clumbsy body
and the shared ownership of it
with this mind.

He wants to run in the woods
with a pack of his own kind
he wants to have control
Though I fight him and try to resist him,
and maintain my sanity.

In society he submits,
he hates the city,
people and lights.

at night, he returns.
He comes with such power
that I must give in
i have no choice
then he has control

He is in me
and therefore he is me
and then I see,
I am that wolf.