Poll

Should I stay in the fandom or go away?

Stay
5 (100%)
Go
0 (0%)

Total Members Voted: 5

Voting closed: March 02, 2022, 04:07:31 pm

Author Topic: Should I stay or should I go now?  (Read 788 times)

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Offline Jade Sinapu

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Should I stay or should I go now?
« on: January 31, 2022, 04:07:31 pm »
To be honest, I am asking this weird question, because sometimes I am known to have a bit of self-doubt.
And maybe I asked this before?  But I do not remember.

Just as it sounds.  Should I leave furry fandom, or stay?

I have enjoyed fursuiting, especially in snow.  Conventions are fun at times.
Some art and stories are really awesome!  I want to write one too.  I have ideas.  And I would attempt to draw the characters, but only one per, not lots of illustrations or something.

Why I feel like I should leave are these
  • Mobility is less than I would like for fursuiting.  I am talking about my body , not the suit.
  • I wanted a realistic suit, and have one, but it seems to not be what some care for. 
  • There is a lot of drama at times, and I do not care for that.
  • Conventions are expensive
  • I do not like travel
  • My local furgroup is sort of asleep, and the more active one is 100 miles north.
  • I am not what you call a young pup.
  • Someone called me a "daddy" which does not at all depict me.  So I do not like being stereotyped in any way. ( I am not judging, it is a term that does not apply to me)
  • I am on the asexual spectrum I would say, and it seems NO one else is or something... IDK, maybe I need to reach out more?

Reasons I want to hang around are...
  • I love seeing some art furs conjure up, it is like magic , and I do mean SFW
  • Stories are crazy cool and unique.  You can't get this content out side of furry
  • I love suits, love seeing them, and the raves are cool with the great music and lights and suits, and pure exhaustion.
  • Conventions, once I get into the mind set, are fun and good distraction from normal life.
  • On average the furs I meet are good people.
Bear your soul and take control
If the wolves are howling outside your door
Invite them in and make them beg for more!
(Name that tune!)

Offline Jade Sinapu

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Re: Should I stay or should I go now?
« Reply #1 on: January 31, 2022, 06:04:27 pm »
So how would you vote?
If you have doubts, what makes you stay?  What are your favorite things in furry fandom?
Bear your soul and take control
If the wolves are howling outside your door
Invite them in and make them beg for more!
(Name that tune!)

Offline cause the rat

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Re: Should I stay or should I go now?
« Reply #2 on: February 19, 2022, 04:02:46 am »
I have no furry crushes. The only furry art I have is a few pics drawn by friends and con badges. I don't have a rep sheet for my fursona. I'm an artists but don't do furry art. I'm a musician but have no desire to do furry music. I can afford but do not want anything to do with a fursuit. I don't go to furmeets and have decided not to attend this years local furcon. I will not wear ears and a tail. I don't have a house full of furry things. I'm not into plushies. I don't have a collection of anthro movies. Seen Zootopia once and that's enough for me. I've never watched Disney's 'Robin Hood' and have no desire to. The only involvement I have with this fandom is this forum and a single facebook page.  And the cherry on the top of all of this. Cause the Rat is a rat. However I can't stand rats. I find them repulsive. Even with none of that I'm still a furry. When I was three years old my imaginary friend was Yogi Bear. I've been fascinated with anthro characters all my life. However this fascination is not the center of my life. It's a part of it.  There is no criteria to being. No quota or bar to reach. Therefore I am a furry.

This isn't something anyone else can answer
It's been said that rats can gain access to your home by climbing up threw your toilet. I prefer to use the front door.

Offline Jade Sinapu

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Re: Should I stay or should I go now?
« Reply #3 on: February 19, 2022, 01:55:47 pm »
I suppose you are correct Cause.
It is just, that,  sometimes I'm not sure and am looking for ideas.
I Do have 1 fursuit crush and I'm not telling who it is. It came unexpectedly. 

I have plushies,  wish I had my Carebear I had from long long ago  ( vintage), I do suit despite it being hard hot and tiring.  But the cost is still something I regret.
I do have a few furry art pieces on the wall.
I'm also in the therian crowd due to how my life progressed and all the weird wolf dreams.

I guess I'm in too deep to get out now,  haha!

Sometimes I just wonder... do I belong anyway?
Self doubt creeps in.

In the end I'm just a guy who likes some anthropomorphic  animal stuff.
Seems to me, many furries have to be "special" in some way to be fully accepted by the fandom.
Be it in the form of a non binary sexuality/ identity,  mentally different in unexplainable ways,   or... something.  But I'm none of that. I wonder if I'm too normal to be really a fur.   And if I have to be THAT level of different,  and I can not,  I'll just go. I don't want to change me.  What you see is what you get.  In real life the only difference is I don't wear my suit.  I don't do furry videos, I'm not in social media really,  etc. 

I'm a ham radio operator,  engineer, rock and mineral collector,  DIY'er, mountain biker,  shade tree auto mechanic,  dreamer,  part time lousy artist,  average Joe who sometimes suits up as a dog.  Because I like the breed,  was saved from death 2 times by GSD's, and raised 2 and going on 3.

But no one cares.  They would rather me be very colorful,  a different sexual orientation, and all over social media. 

Well that's not me.

I guess I need to come to some decision and either stay on as I am,  or go.
I wound be saddened to lose the friends I've made here.


People often say you are a fur if you think you are/ say you are. In a technical way this is true,  but in a practical way I think it's possibly not so true.  The large group does seem to enforce an underwritten rule of the club and you are judged.  By a group who touts judgment free zones. 
Maybe I'm blowing this out of proportion.
Bear your soul and take control
If the wolves are howling outside your door
Invite them in and make them beg for more!
(Name that tune!)

Offline cause the rat

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Re: Should I stay or should I go now?
« Reply #4 on: February 22, 2022, 04:58:42 pm »
Jade, your not blowing anything out of proportion. You've come to a real conclusion. People, no matter what their age, are childish. That's every fandom and every social group. Labels, pronouns and every other self serving importance needy people need to feel better in their own skin. Proudly labeling themselves and judging who they label around them. Looking for a safe place to defend their individuality by beating everyone else down who isn't as special as they are.  Observe it from afar my friend. Laugh at their heated absurdity. Watch them defend and fight with nothing more than self importance. Fighting nothing with nothing for nothing. Because when you don't have anything else a self imposed label is all you are. You've got a lot going for you Jade. Contemplation is a sign of maturity. More people need that.
It's been said that rats can gain access to your home by climbing up threw your toilet. I prefer to use the front door.

Offline Kay Alett

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Re: Should I stay or should I go now?
« Reply #5 on: February 23, 2022, 09:55:37 am »
Jade, your not blowing anything out of proportion. You've come to a real conclusion. People, no matter what their age, are childish.

As the 4th Doctor once said: "There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes."

And if you'll allow me one more quote: "To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." - C.S. Lewis

We need to act childish from time to time to keep ourselves grounded and remember that life isn't all about heavy responsibility and duty. Being childish helps us to continue seeing the joy that's to be had in living. You lose that joy and it's all over.

Semi-Retired from Furry.
 - - - -
Come bitter Rain,
And wash from my Heart
That saddest of all Words: Home

Offline Jade Sinapu

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Re: Should I stay or should I go now?
« Reply #6 on: February 24, 2022, 11:07:16 am »
Both of you have some heavy words.
Much of what I am moaning about comes from my local Telegram chat.  I have not left it, but also am distant from it now.  I am seen by some as "not like them".  Heck even the admin who started the telegram chat group has been defamed and the claim he is not like them as well.  "HE" is not trans, not bi or gay, he is not far left, he is adult at times meaning calm and collected.  Apparently they see him as not like them, and now I am in that group.  And all because I do not laugh at all jokes, or post memes every day.  Or because I do not openly fight with my life for "their cause".  It is tiring.  Where is the fan fiction of robin hood or fan art of Zootopia?  Meaning my local chat group does nothing there but be the thing they hate.  Discriminatory.

I DO want to be childlike at times, to let go and be happy.  Thus why I am "here", or go to Denfur and dance for 6 hours.  But then like a switch, I transform into someone who's up at 5am goes to bed at 11pm, and takes care of a dog, does work that is technical, helps neighbors, helps family, and otherwise acts like an adult.  I have a heavy burden at times, things I do not talk about.  Things that the Ukraine/Russia situation is making worse. My job is ... impacted by it all.  Getting nervous.  I am not in the military so I will not be deployed of course.  I just hope our troops are safe.  I wish it would end.  Honestly, Putin could use some furry hugs right about now.  That guy is so ... cranky.  I wonder what his favorite animal is?  A big Mama Bear giving him a hug while he is crying his eyes out would be awesome!  Probably would help him.

I perhaps worry about what some people think and worry too much indeed. 

I know the decision is mine alone,  I choose to stay.  There is too much good in Furry to let some damage it for me.
Bear your soul and take control
If the wolves are howling outside your door
Invite them in and make them beg for more!
(Name that tune!)

Offline cause the rat

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Re: Should I stay or should I go now?
« Reply #7 on: February 24, 2022, 03:21:09 pm »
Jade, I belong to a facebook group for older furries. There are times we poke fun at all the drama in the fandom. Most on line fandoms are nothing more than ongoing dumpster fires of self importance. Your not alone. The very first furry forum I belonged to was occupied by hateful, out right mean and highly sexually orientated people. I eventually found better places. Really hope you do too.
It's been said that rats can gain access to your home by climbing up threw your toilet. I prefer to use the front door.

Offline Kobuk

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Re: Should I stay or should I go now?
« Reply #8 on: February 24, 2022, 08:29:25 pm »
STAY!  Good dog. :)  *gives you a treat*

Offline Jade Sinapu

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Re: Should I stay or should I go now?
« Reply #9 on: February 25, 2022, 10:19:01 am »
WOOF!

Peanut butter filled pretzels! My favorite!

Yeah, this place is low drama.   :orraccoon:
Bear your soul and take control
If the wolves are howling outside your door
Invite them in and make them beg for more!
(Name that tune!)