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general furry discussion => furry lite => Topic started by: Firelight on August 22, 2014, 02:46:16 am
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Just a fun thread. If you had a werewolf how would you care for it and what would you use.
I'd use a heavy duty crate.
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I'm sorry?
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You will need: a chicken, a piece of string, a set of clean clothes, money for a bus fare, two bags and a safe place in the middle of nowhere. Leave the clothes and the money in the safe place then tie the chicken to the piece of string and take it for a walk in a wide circle outside. Take your werewolf to the pre-prepared location on the evening of the full moon and when he/she transforms they will wander around until they pick up the scent of the chicken and follow it in a circle all night. When they wake up the next morning they can put on the clean clothes and get the bus home. Why the two bags? Double bagging. Always double bag.
(I love Being Human.)
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What is this thread?
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Since there's no Who, What, Where, When, Why, and How being discussed, then there can only be one thing left...........this thread is:
(http://www.todayifoundout.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/spam5.jpg)
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I fixed it. *Eats the spam :P
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Keep all silver eating utensils, tea services, and similar items in safe storage.
Have a squirt bottle filled with colloidal silver handy when house-breaking your werewolf.
Always cover your werewolf's ears during the opening moments of classic Lone Ranger episodes, so he's not startled.
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Keep a trank gun with some heavy duty horse trankulizer when things get bad
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Treat your werewolf to an occasional Moon Pie.
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Daily walks are important so have a strong leash.
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Treat your werewolf to a bath once a week with Mane & Tail shampoo.
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Mental stimulation is also important so be sure to train your werewolf.
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A happy werewolf is also a healthy werewolf. So get him to sing along to such tunes as The Guess Who's Clap For The Wolfman, Duran Duran's Hungry Like The Wolf and Warren Zevon's Werewolf of London.
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Avoid areas frequented by college students during big sports events, so your werewolf won't get "mooned".
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:D Or so he doesn't chase the balls :D
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Get rope, chains, a hammer, nails, and planks, lock the door, lock the window, get piece of meat, make potion of weakness, pour on meat, and hang on hook.
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Entertain your werewolf. Show him/her episodes of the Teen Wolf animated cartoon and ask for a critique.
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Learn wolf body language and "speak" to him that way.
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Probably make sure he or she has a place to be on full moons. Stay with them at all times. Really not so different from any other type of handler. Probably have a spare set of clothes for them afterwards. Make sure they don't kill anything.
If, due to the anxiety of being a werewolf, your werewolf has trouble speaking to anybody about anything even remotely related to it, try to set up rather regular appointments with a Chiro, probably a therapist as well...
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Mouth hygeine is important for werewolves. So encourage your werewolf to brush regularly with a fluoride toothpaste.
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Proper feeding is important for a happy and healthy werewolf. Fortunately the world is full of jerks who no one will miss should they suddenly vanish. These types make excellent werewolf chow. Their consumption will help make your werewolf full, happy and healthy and their elimination will improve both society and the human gene pool all around.
Grooming may be a challenge. Dogs hate baths and what are werewolves but very large, strong, feral dogs with super powers? It is suggested that you do not force your werewolf into the tub. He may love you but he is also much stronger than you. Werewolves can be tricky and it would be a simple matter for your werewolf to quickly reverse the situation and dunk you into the tub instead. It is suggested that you allow your werewolf to handle his own cleaning and grooming.
Now as for neutering, forget all the pro neutering arguments you've heard. This is a werewolf, not a freaking chihuahua. If he finds out you're planning this someone's gonna end up losing his two best friends. Helpful hint: it'll be you.
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Break your werewolf of any car-chasing habits early on. It can be quite expensive and time-consuming to be digging them out of the backyard to return to their rightful owners.