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Is the Idea of marrage "outdated?"

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Nicholai:
I read a news article on this, and I knew in a second that this belongs here.  :D

The article (I'll link to it in a few sentences, bare with me), written by a recent divorcee, glances over the idea that as times evolve, marriage serves less and less of purpose. As she puts it:


--- Quote ---Sure, it made sense to agrarian families before 1900, when to farm the land, one needed two spouses, grandparents, and a raft of children. But now that we have white-collar work and washing machines, and our life expectancy has shot from 47 to 77, isn’t the idea of lifelong marriage obsolete?
--- End quote ---

She also points out that divorce rate in the USA is 50%, and that according to a recent poll, only 38% of married couples find themselves happy.
She also states, unequivocally, that she believes the whole idea of marriage in modern, (mostly) gender blind society is not only pointless, but emotionally risky.

Full article here: http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/31452178/ns/today_relationships
I have strong opinions on this, but I want to hear you!

+Do you think marriage is becoming increasingly obsolete as society and culture continue to evolve?
+In your opinion why do so many marriages fail? Why are so many couples unhappy?
+Do you think marriage is worth the 50/50 emotional risk?

P.S: I don't know how you would, but don't bring gay marriage into this. Entirely different debate. Seriously.  :P

RedneckFur:
I do not think that the idea of marriage is outdated.  I do think that marriage and divorce need to be simplified.  I think that too many people jump into marriage before they are ready, and now days, we live in an age when we are bombarded by so much information and so many choices.  Its simply easier now to loose intrest in a mate.

I do belive in lifelong mates, and I hope to spend my life with the right person.  Casual relationships do not really apeal to me.

Sskessa:

--- Quote ---+Do you think marriage is worth the 50/50 emotional risk?
--- End quote ---

Before we get any further with this discussion, let's get this cleared up:
A 50% divorce rate in America DOES NOT MEAN that you have a 50% chance of getting divorced if you get married. That is not how you interpret statistics.

74% of Americans currently identify as white/non-hispanic. These numbers are unlikely to change significantly in the next year. If you conceived a child, would there be a 74% chance that it would be born white?
Just wanted to clear that up.

Anyway, as far as my thoughts on marriage go, do you consider friendship to be outdated in our modern age?

Yip:
I think the underlying problem is that too many assume they know what marriage is. In fact, marriage isn't a single thing. Not only has it changed and evolved throughout history, but also there is no one single right way for a marriage to work. It's something the individuals involved have to work out. And I think the reason for the high divorce rate and unhappy couples is due mostly to people getting into it without really taking the time to honestly discuss what each other want from the relationship.

Another issue is the fact that people change over time. So some marriages just won't last, and this isn't necessarily a bad thing. People shouldn't automatically treat it as such. (in fact, in cases like abusive relationships, breaking up is a good thing.)

Narei Mooncatt:

--- Quote from: Vararam on June 23, 2009, 01:32:58 am ---Another issue is the fact that people change over time. So some marriages just won't last, and this isn't necessarily a bad thing. People shouldn't automatically treat it as such. (in fact, in cases like abusive relationships, breaking up is a good thing.)

--- End quote ---

This was true with my first marraige. We just come to realize that we weren't compatible anymore as mates, but we kept our promise to each other when we first started dating to at least always try to remain friends. To this day, I still consider her my best friend (next to my current mate of course). I think marraige is still important, and needed. At least from a legal stand point we need it or something similar to decide things like home ownerships, child rearing, hospital visitations, etc. While things can be set up to specify certain wishes we have of others, being married makes it much easier, and keeps you from, say, kicking your mate out on the streets with no place to go. When you're just friends, everything is owned independently even if it is shared. When married, you own most everything together for the good of the family. Of course, that's also what makes a divorce so tricky sometimes. I.E. you only have one house in most cases, so you can't just split it and deciding what to do with it can be hard. Thankfully my divorce was clean and simple with no houses or kids to battle over.

I've heard about the marraige contracts idea that basically means the license has an experation date. After so many years, you have to renew it or it's a defacto divorce. While the upside is it accounts for things like changed people, it would be hard to settle down. You'd be constantly thinking "Do we really want to buy this house when in 10 years she may want to leave me after the license is up?" It would make marraige seem a more casual idea, which makes it appealing to some, but I wouldn't personally want it, because I think sometimes taking the easy out isn't the best thing to do.

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