Author Topic: Tutorials in Artifice (WIP, please tell me what you think)  (Read 3239 times)

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Offline Hesper Scott

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Tutorials in Artifice (WIP, please tell me what you think)
« on: December 02, 2013, 12:34:16 am »
Notes: This story may contain uncensored profanity. Third edit has appeared!

Hesper shivered. Her thick coat of fur wasn't enough to keep her warm in the city's cold weather, and she dearly wished that she had worn a heavier jacket.

"Ugh, this is some horrendous weather. I think it's... oh, dammit, what was that word?" she said, breaking off her monologue to pull down her hood.

Dead leaves and twigs whipped her face, and the effects of this worsened that faster she ran. Hesper smiled upon her arrival at the bus stop, stepping into the warm (if somewhat airless) bus. She found herself unable to find a chair, and grabbed a pole towards the back of the bus. It proved an unfortunate choice, as she had ended up uncomfortably near to a traveling Avian with a hat pulled over his eyes. Hesper disliked being so directly near to one of the Lesser Species. Those who were not dogs, cats, wolves, foxes or any variation thereof were considered inferior to these Greater Species and were not permitted to take up residence in the city. Hence, Hesper let out a long sigh when she left the bus, free of her precarious situation. Once at the doors of her school, Hesper met with her friend Ilsa.

"You will not believe what happened today!" said Ilsa, "I saw a migrating Avian on the way here!" Hesper nodded.

"Yes, I saw one on the pentabulus today," said Hesper. Ilsa smirked.

"Think you meant autobus, and also... just call it a bus," she said. Hesper grinned.

"That's what I have you for, Ils," said Hesper. The two friends then walked hand in hand into their school, awaiting the day that was to come. Hesper rapidly scribbled down garbled notes that she knew would be indecipherable by the time she referenced them, muttering to herself.

"At least it might make me look more intelligent," she said quietly. Seeming intelligent was one of Hesper's main concerns, as she had entered the Royal Academy due to a so-called "generous donation" to the school, and Hesper was eager to prove that she was a talented student in her own right.

Ilsa passed her a note, and Hesper quietly unfolded it underneath her desk, using unsheathed claws to avoid the sound of fur brushing paper. Hesper, are those real notes, or just doodles? it read. Hesper quickly scribbled out a response. Who are you, my mother? Yes, they're notes. Ilsa did not reply, instead casting a dirty look at Hesper. Ilsa, as a rule, was far more serious about her studies than Hesper generally was (though it cannot be said that she did not make an effort). Hence, Ilsa consistenly nagged Hesper about her studies. Hesper was apart from Ilsa in her next class, and she began tuning out the teacher and doodling in her notebook, trying to appear attentive all the while. Though she knew Ilsa (and likely her teacher and parents) would have scolded her for this carelessness, she pushed these thoughts to the back of her mind and continued slacking off.

After school got out, Hesper ran up to Ilsa.

"Do you want to come over today?" said Hesper. Ilsa shook her head.

"No, sorry Hesper. It's my dad's birthday, and I'm supposed to be home." Ilsa's mother came to pick her up, and Hesper waved goodbye. She walked to the bus stop, sat down on a bench, and spent fifteen minutes staring at her watch. As more time crawled by, Hesper grew frustrated.

"Is that bus ever going to show up?" she said. After a few more minutes, she decided to walk. Pulling out a city map, she noticed that a shortcut through the unfinished portion of the city would prevent her from being late.
« Last Edit: December 06, 2013, 01:26:44 pm by Hesper Scott »
Whenever I see these signatures, I feel like I should use mine to say something really interesting and profound, but I always end up with some generic quote or saying. Hmm. That's unfortunate. Well, now guess who looks like a excessively meta killjoy. I do!

Offline Old Rabbit

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Re: Tutorials in Artifice (WIP, please tell me what you think)
« Reply #1 on: December 02, 2013, 12:42:20 pm »
Looks good so far. A interesting idea on lessor species discrimination. A
possible problem in a furry world.

Keep up the good work. :orbunny:
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Offline Iara Warriorfeather

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Re: Tutorials in Artifice (WIP, please tell me what you think)
« Reply #2 on: December 02, 2013, 04:27:48 pm »
I agree with Old Rabbit, this is well written. I wouldn't mind reading the book/story when it's complete!  :D
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