Furry Interviews!

[beyond the darkness]

Can't say I remember Gyro, thanks for the history lesson!! ^_^

[Katra]

'>   '>   '>

I really like the Gyro Gearloose comics. Seemed his little helper was always figuring out how to make his latest work; or trying to alert Gyro to impending disaster ...

[firefox_b]

Today at Fury Interviews, we are convening cereal spokesmen to discuss a crisis; namely, that the breakfast cereal cartoon spokescharacter world is completely male dominated!

Cap'n Crunch:--Well, I don't have have a problem with that!

Lucky the Leprechaun:--Nor do I...

Count Chocula:--Well, you're obviously gay, Lucky!

Lucky the Leprechaun:--Perhaps, but begorra, I'm not a vampire!

Count Chocula:--(Hisses and bears teeth, showing their hideous erosion from sugar)

The Trix Rabbit:--Hey!--Whaddya got against gays!

Host:--Easy, Silly Wabbit!  We don't have a problem with that!

Snap, Crackle, and Pop:--Thank heavens for that!

Host:--OK, guys, go back to...whatever it was that you were doing.  Different Life Stylers are welcome here...

Toucan  Sam:--I'm just colorful, that's all...

Host:--Whatever you say, Sam.  Now what are we gonna do about our lack of female representation here?

Cap'n Crunch:--And the downside is?

Trix Rabbit:--It works for me!

Honey Nut Cheerios Honey Bee:--Hey!--Wait a minute!--What sex am I?

Frankenberry:--Poor devil!  I'm made of parts, and even I know what sex I am!

Trix Rabbit:--And parts is parts! (giggles)

Host:-- That's the answer!  The Honey Bee is gender-neutral! They can think that he's female if they want to!-- That oughtta satisfy all of the *#@&
females!  

All:--Yeah!--Party on!!!

Honey Bee:--But that doesn't help me with my sexual identity problem!

Host:--Honey Bee, your problem is obvious!  Sounds llike a personal problem to me!

(They all form a conga line and dance...)

Honey Bee:--I'm so confused...    '>

[beyond the darkness]

Awwww, we don't get any of those here in Blighty, only the wee Bee

[firefox_b]

--Today on Furry Interviews we again have with us Godzilla, in honor of the 50th anniversary of the release of the first Godzilla movie in Japan! -- Welcome back, Big Guy!  And Happy Birthday!

Godzilla:--Thanks, Dude!  In America, my first movie was called, Godzilla, King of the Monsters.

Host:--And Raymond Burr was edited into the flick, playing (I am not making this up) a reporter called Steve Martin!

Godzilla:--Raymond Burr was not actually around when the movie was filmed!  His primary function was to frown with concern at various scenes as if thinking, "How come the sky color is completely different in the scenes that show me?"

Host:--Now in my opinion, your finest movie was Godzilla vs. Mothra (1964), which features the incomparable Mothra, a giant moth.  The thing about moths is, no matter how big one gets, it never really creates a feeling of awe in the viewer, especially when its portaryed by a cheesy-looking puppet.  

Godzilla:--But hey, how about my climatic final battle scene between myself and two gigantic moth larvae?

Host:--They just don't make movies like that anymore!  Godzilla, I love you--in a manly, heterosexual sort of way, of course...

Godzilla:--Of course...I'm a cultural icon...

Host:--And Godzilla, you are a metaphor for the Atomic Age, showing what happens when the human race in its arogance tampers with nature and unwittingly unleashes the terrible power of a man in a rubber suit destroying tiny unrealistic props!

Godzilla:--Spread the word, baby...

Host:--And a depth bomb fails to kill you, as does the army...

Godzilla:--The army never has any luck against me!

Host:--But an "Oxygen Destroyer"  gets you in Tokyo Harbor...

Godzilla:--Until the next sequel!  Death is not permanently fatal to me...as Spock observed, "I've been dead."

Host:--Well, happy 50th birthday, Godzilla! -- You're the King!  You're Elvis! -- Long may you reign!  Best of all, your original movie is still funny!

Godzilla:--The Smog Monster, Mothra, Gidrah, Mecha-Godzilla...bring 'em on!

Host:--You're starting to sound like G.W. Bush!

Godzilla:--Now that's scary!   '>

Godzilla!

[firefox_b]

Today at the Furry Interviews Ronald Reagan Theater and Crematorium, we are proud to host Snoopy, the break-out character of Charles Schultz's classic strip, Peanuts! --Snoopy, welcome to the snow!  I suppose that your presence here was inevitable...in fact, I wonder that you didn't get here sooner...

Snoopy:--Good grief, yes! -- A visit long overdue, I'd say...

Host:--Now normally, you of course didn't speak, but conveyed everything necessary in facial expressions and thought balloons.  Your speech here is an act of artistic license...

Snoopy:--I know all about highly successful licensing...which reminds me, when does the round-headed kid bring dinner?

Host:--Soon, Snoop.  Now you were actually multiple characters under one fur; Joe Cool, the World War I Flying Ace, Flashbeagle, the Vulture, the Foreign Legionnaire, and others...

Snoopy:--Yes...I'm an "extroverted beagle with a Walter Mitty complex."

Host:--And you first appeared on October 2, 1950...

Snoopy:--Yes...I'm over 50 years old...and my creator is dead, sob!

Host:--He was a good man, Charlie Brown...and on January 5, 1956 you first walked on two legs...

Snoopy:--Then there was no stopping me, so to speak!

Host:--Fur sure!--You were huge! --You were a cultural icon!  In fact, some would say that success and commercialism ruined Peanuts...

Snoopy:--You mean, you had too many of the Snoopy plushies, lunch boxes, key rings, and Hallmark cards ad infinitum?

Host:--Good Grief, yes!!!--  Peanuts was an inspired, groundbreaking strip but it probably went on much too long...great comic artists know when to stop their strips. -- Look at The Far Side and Calvin and Hobbes...

Snoopy:--You mean, you didn't like the 35th re-run of It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown?

Host:--Too much of a good thing, Snoop...those who do things well are condemned to repeat it...Stale Peanuts aren't as tasty!  Still, you were one of the truly great ones, and we salute you!

Snoopy:--Thanks, guy...well, I'm going over to Bill Mauldin's house to quaff a few root beers, and reminisce about the war...

Host:--The War to End All Wars!  Sounds like a plan to me...and thank you, Charles Schultz, for everything!       '>

Snoopy and Company