Author Topic: Paws's short story challenge  (Read 22816 times)

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Offline Mylo

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #25 on: August 25, 2012, 08:37:34 pm »
That was a great read Typing!  I really like your way of storytelling when it comes to furry themes.  Sometimes, it just gets too serious with other stories (*points to Mylo* :P), but you have a way of making it so light-hearted and fun. :)  

Offline typingwithpaws

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #26 on: August 25, 2012, 10:04:26 pm »
i just cant do 'sad' for too long as it eventually makes me feel a tad down. And as of last year ive given up on sad. why be sad when you can be happy!
"Nothing will ever surpass the beauty and elegance of a bad idea"

Offline Mylo

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #27 on: August 25, 2012, 10:29:57 pm »
i just cant do 'sad' for too long as it eventually makes me feel a tad down. And as of last year ive given up on sad. why be sad when you can be happy!

That's an excellent point Typing.  I want to make my next story a happy one now. ;)  I'm also looking forward to what you do with cyber

Offline typingwithpaws

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #28 on: August 26, 2012, 04:03:30 am »
cyber: 110101011010101000101010011011110101001010101010101101010010101011010101111010101010101010110

just kidding  ;)


'Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep'
the only annoyingly repetitive tone able to be heard was thus from the heart beat monitor.
Williams thoughts slowly began to uncloud, like a haze lifted from a valley. Memories began to activate within his consciousness, attempting to figure out what had happened in the past to lead up to this moment before taking in any new information.

he opened his eyes but felt very strange doing so, there was no 'feel' of the muscles required for the task. Examining more of his body with thought revealed that there was very little sensation of anything. Even his tail felt numb and non-existant.

Will took note of his surroundings. He was laying in a bed in a pure white room, a few electrical cables ran across the room to large tower like machines that quietly whirred and hummed away. What caught his attention the most was the four cables running up under the sheets and into his bed.
Will moved a paw to grab the sheets to remove them then froze in shock.
His paw, or what used to be his paw was not black and fluffy as it once was. Now it was bristling with metallic components, pneumatic rams and actuators all arranged in the rough shape of what his paw once looked like.
Regaining some movement in himself he tore off the sheets then stopped again, although he was clothed in a surgical gown it was still clear to see his legs. well, not really his own legs, but some sort of robotic replacement for them.

"What's going on?" he tried to say but nothing came out of his mouth besides static.
"What's going on?" he tried again, this time the sound was replicated in a stuttery broken audio tone that sounded like his own voice used to, but like he was hearing it through a telephone speaker.

"What is going on!" he yelled this time. The voice came through loud and clear this time and echoed off the blank walls of the hospital room.

There was a commotion outside the room then the door burst open and 3 people came in. A bear, raccoon and a fox entered and quickly surrounded the bed.
"What's going on?" repeated William.
"Calm down Will, everything is going to be alright" said the raccoon in the most soothing voice William thought possible.
"Alright? What have you done to me!"
"What have we done FOR you would be a more appropriate question Mr fennec" came the gruff booming voice of the bear.
"What do you mean?" queried William.

The fox tugged on the four wires that were connecting William to one of the machines. "Sit up and we will tell you" she said.

"You were in a horrific accident William" began the raccoon as he ticked off some notes on his notepad and stored it in his labcoat.

"What kind of accident could cause this much damage?" asked William, now very scared.

"The kind where you almost died!" answered the bear.

"You may not remember but there was a malfunction with your rocket pack during your last mission, we tried our best but there were too many mangled pieces to re-assemble your body while allowing you to keep a resemblance of your freedom. So in this instance, a private investor supplied the funding to construct you a replacement to the pinnacle of modern technology." explained the fox.

William was silent for almost a full minute before asking; "How much of me is left?"

The raccoon grimaced then replied "most of you memories, your personality and your voice characteristics. No part of your biological self is currently in service. You are entirely...a machine."

William paused, the information he was given was too much to comprehend, his vision flickered then turned to static. The last thing heard before he blacked out was the Bear yelling "He's crashing!" then all was silent.

William woke again rather suddenly, shaking away his disorientation he looked down himself. He was fully clothed including his paws which were fitted with black lycra gloves.
"phew, it was only a dream" he thought to himself then looked around the room. He was in a large open stadium like area, smack bang in the middle which was illuminated by a bright white floodlight.
Curiosity got the better of him so he peeled back the sleeve of his left glove for a peek. To his great shock and disappointment he beheld the same metallic paw from his dream.
He wondered if this was really true, was he really a robotic version of his former self?

something rustled in the darkened area outside the circle of light. William squinted to try and see through the darkness. To his great surprise his vision flickered black then returned green, but this time there were silhouettes visible of the surrounding area. "Night vision? cool" he murmured to himself quietly.
Then a flicker of movement off to the right caught his attention. A small box like shape with rubber tracks was slowly trundling toward him. From the top of the box protruded a turret of sorts with a belt fed magazine of bullets feeding into the breach of the rifle like device. William recognised the drone from a previous encounter, however last time he saw one, it was fighting to protect him. This time it seemed different.
As if to confirm this suspicion the little machine stopped, rotated a few degrees and took aim at William. He instinctively ducked as the turret fired upon him once.
The shell sailed over Williams head, as he watched it appeared to be in supreme detail, like it was in slow motion. what was once the flash of sight and sound could now be played back in is head in full detail.

A second shot sounded but this time William was ready, he pushed off with one of his arms from where he was laying on the floor and dodged the bullet perfectly. A third bullet sailed harmlessly between his legs then a forth under his arm. The machine was too slow to target him accurately but since it lacked any decision making skills it continued to fire upon the mechanical fox as he danced around the edge of the lit area.
"This isn't getting anywhere, something's clearly wrong with this drone" thought William and made the decision to shut down the now rather annoying machine.

He raced toward it in a zig zag pattern, dodging more bullets as he ran. When he was within ten feet of it he leapt into the air, somersaulted around and landed behind it. Before the little robot could turn to face its now-attacker William balled his paw into a fist and punched at the machines metal casing, hoping to damage it in some way. To his utter amazement his fist past clean through the thick armour and out the other side. His arm spasmed slightly as electricity from his crippled attacker coursed through the servo's in his arm then was still.

He withdrew his fist and examined the damage. The attack drone was left as a smoking pile of scrap metal with a bent turret on top while the only damage visible to his paw was the destroyed glove. He examined his unfamiliar paw again, flexing his fingers as he did so. Small clicks and whines were emitted from it as the mechanical linkages moved in order to create the movement that he commanded them to.

The floor began to rumble. Williams first thought was 'earthquake' but that was quickly silenced as one of the walls in front of him crumbled and collapsed. The rumbling stopped, as the dust settled Williams new night vision was able to make out the all to familiar shape of a early century tank! The tank, or Abraham as he knew it as approached once more, rumbling along the polished marble floor. William thought it such a waste to see such magnificent flooring ruined by such a 'rude' machine but these thoughts were quickly squelched with a rational thought.

William didn't need time to think about this assailant, he got up again and sprinted toward it. It lowered it's main barrel toward him and William could hear the clicking and knocking of a round being loaded.
"If I can kill your little twerp brother I can sure as hell kill you!" he screamed. He grabbed the barrel and pulled down as hard as he could. This motion propelled him high into the air and he sailed over the length of the barrel and landed on top of the hatch.
Enraged at his mistreatment and everything about his predicament he heaved on the hinge. Humming noises wafted out of his upper back, shoulders, arms and knees as he strained. His vision flickered then went black, complicated thought turned into one goal; Pull.

a sharp crack echoed through the stadium and the hatch cover flew off the top of the tank. William threw it away and yelled long and loud at the tanks occupants. His vision returned but in the corner of his peripheral vision flashed a warning about power consumption and heat levels. He ignored this and prepared to jump into the tank and remove the threat when a loud voice boomed across the stadium; "Hault!"

William was tempted to ignore the request but as persistent as a small child the voice repeated; "I said Stand down soldier!"
William stood up, simulated taking a deep breath then disembarked the armoured vehicle. Without anything to do he leaned up against the tank and recovered. It was such a strange sensation, having exerted so much effort and feeling tired from it but no panting occurred as it normally would have. William could make his chest heave up and down but it did nothing apart from give a visual appearance of panting.

Two wolves emerged from the tank and made their way to the floor, looking rather shocked.

"What's this all about?" asked William angrily.
" did you do that?" asked one of them.
"You don't wanna really don't wanna know" replied William.

"He's right, now run along private Skittles and Regan. This training exercise is over" came the voice of a mysterious figure who was beginning to emerge from the gloom.
William recognised it as the same voice that had told them to stop their activities. As the figure came closer he remembered to reactivate his night vision to augment his already supreme eyesight. Now he could clearly see the figure approaching was a large manned lion. He vaguely remembered seeing this lion before from somewhere but could not quite place the exact instance.

"So who are you then?" asked William in a mocking tone.

"I am Captain Chaser your new commanding officer and if I were you I would loose the tone in your voice" said the lion authoritatively.

"What are you going to do about it, I just ripped the lid of a freaking tank!"

"If you lay one paw on me you shall be shut down permanently and your parts sent to other more worthy purposes, you may have once been a person but to me you are now a piece of equipment."

"And what if I don't care if you shut me down or not. I am officially dead anyway aren't I?"

"and you..."

"AREN'T I!?"

"Yes you are technically dead. But even a dead man deserves to see his family again so I did indeed bring them along today for you to see. I may not feel for you like a flesh and blood companion of mine but I am far from heartless. Is this reason enough for you to keep 'living' Mr Fennec?"

"My family's here? where?" said William now sounding desperate.

"In time, first I want to interview you following your performance. As you may have guessed this was a test of your abilities which you have passed with great expectations. There is much to explain so if you would follow me, we have a room set up with some coffee for me and some recharging for you."

William grumbled and followed the lion.


several hours later William exited the building and looked around for the sight he had been waiting for. Then he saw them, his two kids and wife Marianne. He almost forgot himself and bounded forward to their embrace but held back. What if they didn't feel comfortable around him now that he was so different? What stories had they been told of his death?
There was no point waiting to find out so he slowly walked towards them.

once a few feet away Marianne noticed him and opened her jaw in shock. Both the children beamed and dragged their mum toward who they thought to be their father.

The two paused three feet from one another, William spoke first; "So you know what happened?" he said softly and hung his head.
"And I love you none the less for it William" she replied and opened her arms in embrace.

The two hugged as they had not done for several months.
"I missed you" said William.
"And I still miss how much more huggable you were before" she giggled. "But I missed you too. You cannot understand how happy I am to see you back again."

Williams attention was captured by his children tugging on his shirt.
"Wow have you two grown! look, you're almost half my height!" exclaimed William.

"Do you still remember us daddy?" asked one of them, Sasha. This almost hurt to hear, the question struck deep like and ice dagger.

"How could I forget the smartest little fox in the country and her trusty brother Hugh?" replied William with a smile, masking the pain.

"We missed you daddy" said Hugh.

"Me too son, me too."

"Come on Will, lets go home so you can tell us all about what has been going on." said Marianne.

"Huh yeah, you get to find out what makes me 'tick' all over again" William chuckled.

THAT Was fun! excuse the interrobang in there, i was getting as emotional as the character was and i felt the moment deserved it. when a simple exclamation mark will not suffice or when a question is yelled i run into problems.

i quite enjoy this writing, it's just getting into it in the first place that's the hard part, like going for a swim on a cold day, the hardest part is getting wet for the first time!!


"Nothing will ever surpass the beauty and elegance of a bad idea"

Offline Mylo

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #29 on: August 26, 2012, 12:40:44 pm »
THAT Was fun! excuse the interrobang in there, i was getting as emotional as the character was and i felt the moment deserved it. when a simple exclamation mark will not suffice or when a question is yelled i run into problems.

*looks up what an interrobang is*
What's wrong with the interrobang?  It seems like a legitimate way to express that particular type of sentence.

i quite enjoy this writing, it's just getting into it in the first place that's the hard part, like going for a swim on a cold day, the hardest part is getting wet for the first time!!

Isn't that the truth!  :)  But once you get into it and have a story in mind, the words just kind of flow.

That was a very interesting story for cyber Typing.  I really liked the battle scenes; I was seeing them in slow motion.  How strange it must be to be non-organic, you know?  Especially at the end; I had no idea how his family would react to seeing him.  I also have a question for you...was his face designed to look like his old face or was it much more robotic?  The only reason I'm asking is because his children were able to recognize him at the end.

Oh!  And another word to continue your thread.  How about...wheel?

Offline Old Rabbit

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #30 on: August 26, 2012, 12:45:18 pm »
You did well.. No problem with emotion, that's part of the story, and every
good writer becomes one with their characters.

Keep up the good work. :orbunny:
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Offline typingwithpaws

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #31 on: August 26, 2012, 05:04:36 pm »
I also have a question for you...was his face designed to look like his old face or was it much more robotic?  The only reason I'm asking is because his children were able to recognize him at the end.

i realise i needed to add a tad more detail as there are 2 readers i know of now who missed what i had in my head.
I reasoned that if you're going to spend that much money on building an entire robotic persona of someone, of course you'd go to the extra effort to make him appear as close as possible to his former self.
he other reader wasnt sure weather there was any biological parts left, to this i say no. i never intended there to be any remaining parts like the brain or heart. but the only connection he had with his former self was personality, voice and as many memories as possible.

i suppose it delves into 'the soul within the machine' and i find it a very interesting concept. it puts the spotlight on the question "What is a soul?"

Thanks Rabbit. getting into the characters 'head' always makes you wonder if you're going crazy once you finish the writing. i'm in the mood to write more about this guy right now but alas, real life calls and ive gotta leave for work in 20 mins.

Maybe i can incorperate 'Wheel' into Williams Story line?

next i have Rabbit's word Ponder
"Nothing will ever surpass the beauty and elegance of a bad idea"

Offline typingwithpaws

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #32 on: August 27, 2012, 12:25:18 am »
Bored at work. Hiding in the ceiling above the bosses office.  It's strange reading over your own story. It's like I forgot most of what I wrote but know the ending. Sure there are plenty of errors and story board abnormalities but I enjoyed reading my own work. How strange.
I've got an item to try and sell tonight but I'm rather exited to write some more. But more so expand on Williams story, not only is it slightly easier using one set of characters to tell a story but it makes me feel like I know them better. As if they were real people I know.

And I'm still flabbergasted that this writing came from MY keyboard! How is a supposedly non-imaginative person such as myself supposed to write this stuff and feel this way. Furry changes you alright!

"Nothing will ever surpass the beauty and elegance of a bad idea"

Offline typingwithpaws

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #33 on: August 27, 2012, 08:39:12 am »

Everything was dark when William and his family arrived home. William had no trouble seeing with his new-found bright green take on the world. Because of this William trotted toward the house and triggered the sensor light, flooding the front yard with a warm yellow light. It reflected off of the small metallic parts of Williams body that were not covered in clothing and cast an eerie glow around him as he returned back to the car to help his family with their luggage.

"Can you grab both the kids bags out of the back Will?" asked Marianne.

William silently complied. Once he had shouldered the combined load of the backpacks he noticed Marianne struggling with her own bag. Silently he reached out, slipped his fingers under the strap and took the weight of the large carry bag.
Marianne gasped slightly as the strap slid off her shoulder and onto Williams wrist.
William could tell it was heavy but the response information he was getting, which felt like strained muscles to him, betrayed how much it actually weighed. He got a slight shock when these thoughts about weight triggered a small figure to appear in the corner of his peripheral vision; 65kg.
It was quite apparent that there was much left to learn about his new body, he wished that he had an instruction manual.

"Thanks honey" said Marianne and walked to the front door, leading the two children while fishing in her pockets for the keys.

William gave the car door a good shove with his tail to shut it, though he hit it harder than he anticipated and left a small dent in the door.

"Uhh oops?" he said when the others turned around at the noise.

"Silly daddy" said Sasha as Marianne unlocked the door and let them race inside.

"It's like they never knew you were gone" said Marianne with a smile.

The couple entered the house and made a bee line for the kitchen where William immediately sat down, not feeling tired, but sort of achy.
"Can I get you something? Tea? Coffee?" asked Marianne politely. William just raised an eyebrow at her and grimaced.

"I think I'll miss eating and drinking the most" he replied, taking off his tattered gloves and beginning to unbutton his shirt.

Marianne came over and when William had finished unbuttoning his shirt, lifted it off him to expose his complicated looking chassis.
From his shoulders up was covered with fake fur that resembled his original colours and markings, even his red spot behind his left ear. But below the shoulders was polished rare metals, from Tungsten to Aluminium, Titanium and Stainless Steel. Interlaced between the precisely milled pieces were wires of all colours of the rainbow, fibre optic cables were also visible in their armoured conduit and pneumatic lines extended like blood vessels throughout his body. Every component was moved by Pneumatic rams or electric servo's but in some instances a combination of both.
It seemed that all of his original muscles had been fully replicated for seemingly useless purposes. Such as the ability to move his chest to simulate breathing in or wiggle his tail in a particular manor. William refrained from mentioning the fact that some wise-guy designer had decided to place his charge socket in his butt, he did however vow to exact revenge of whoever did this as some immature joke.

"This is amazing" whispered Marianne.

"Is it?" replied William.

"Yes it is! I thought I was going to loose you forever yet here you sit as if nothing happened. You may not look like the same fox I fell in love with but you still have the personality and soul of that person and I love you all the same."

Hearing this made William feel wonderful, like no matter how bad things could get, happiness would always prevail for him.
"I love you too" he said and nuzzled her neck.

Just then the two children came barging in playing with their toys but stopped clean in their tracks when they beheld the sight of their dad.
"Wow daddy you look like someone from the future" said Hugh.
"Yeah, all you need is a laser gun or something and you'd be the best person to come trick-o-treating with us on Halloween" squealed Sasha.

"You two run along now, daddy and I have an important issue to discuss" said Marianne and the two kids scurried off into the lounge room to play.
"What did Chaser talk to you about before you met us today?" she continued.

"He wants me to serve in the special forces division, basically to carry out suicide missions that are too dangerous for any 'living' person to carry out" He explained.

"Uh uh, that can't happen, I won't loose you a second time!" she said starting to cry.

William pulled her into a tight hug and whispered; "I'm far better equip than I ever was before. This job may prove to be safer than my previous and he said that I only have to complete one year of active duty before I can leave the military for good."

"He said that?" she sniffed.

"He did. The captain strikes me as a man of his word and I am sure he will not like the consequences of going back on it with me."

"I hope so" she finished, drying her eyes with the back of her paw.

William experimented with an idea, he closed his eyes and  thought really hard about two pieces of information; the time and charge level.
Sure enough after a few seconds the time appeared to the left of his vision while a charge level indicator flashed a warning yellow to his right.

"It's getting late, you better get some sleep. I think I'll spend the night out here tonight. Use the power point to recharge and all. I don't even know if I will sleep at all. Will I just turn off maybe? In any case I wish to get re-acquainted with myself before I come to bed with you, in case something unexpected happens."

"Though it pains me to agree, it is a fair point. Have a good night my love" she said, kissing him on the nose.
"You too" replied William, with a small smile on his face.

After Marianne had left, William dug through his bag and retrieved the cord that Captain Chaser had told him to use to recharge his power cells every night. Apparently they indented to fit him with an experimental fusion reactor at some point to extend his mission usefulness but for now he was limited to lithium based battery technology which required recharging.

William plugged himself in and right afterwards an icon appeared in front of his face telling him the charge rate and estimated completion time. William flicked his eyes to one side and the notification shrunk down to one corner of his vision like all the other alerts did. He sat down on the chair again and placed his paws on the table then rested his head on his paws.
There he sat pondering the enormity of his predicament.

Eventually the lack of movement triggered some sub-systems to shut down and he drifted off to what some would call sleep. His memories mixed with worries and experiences as his CPU attempted to de-fragment the vast quantity of data available that was to be stored.

there we go. not sure if that one flowed as well as the previous but it is late at night and i think i'm still a little destracted by the fact that i just purchased a jet ski for not much money. (seriously, why did i do that? oh more thing to attempt while in fursuit :D )
"Nothing will ever surpass the beauty and elegance of a bad idea"

Offline Old Rabbit

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #34 on: August 27, 2012, 11:58:45 am »
That was better I think. The kids and his mates activities added a intimate
flavor to the story.  The description of William learning about his new body
and it's functions was good too..

Keep up the good work. :orbunny:

If you want another word how about "fursuit"  
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Offline Mylo

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #35 on: August 27, 2012, 06:22:07 pm »
I especially liked how you handled the discovery of the functions of William's body.  It was a neat perspective of him just figuring things out, rather than just reading an instruction manual or something.  Who knows what other features it may have?  :o

I'm looking forward to what you'll be writing for fursuitMy word is kind of boring...

Offline typingwithpaws

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #36 on: August 28, 2012, 07:25:52 am »
fursuit as a necessity will require an entirely new story arc i think so i shall do Wheel for now on Williams story line as i quite enjoy it but when i do fursuit later on, it'll have to be in a non-furry world.


Days had passed by quicker than the spokes in a rotating bicycle wheel during the week.
William had spent this time with his family as often as possible in between some household chores and greeting some old friends.
Every now and again he got curious about something else to do with his body, then of course experimentation resulted. So far only a function to improve movement speed at the cost of power consumption and a multi-frequency radio had made themselves apparent. The radio would play from his voice box when the application was started, it seemed like a pointless ability until he was able to tune into his base's com system despite the encryption they had in place.

The incident on the Friday night at a buddies a barbecue was also interesting. William was forced to clothe up pretty heavily and apply some fabric softener to his face and tail to make it seem as realistic as possible. He assumed that general knowledge slippage about who he had become would not be appreciated by his commander. Anyway, the boys had taunted him for not joining them in their cheer and having a sausage with the rest of them. William just pretended to sip a glass of water instead while he watched his friends arm wrestle.
Eventually he was called to the table to take on the current champion, of course he declined immediately but they continued to pressure him further into the situation.

Finally he gave in but voiced one condition; "I'll do it, but lets see some money where your mouths are. You are gonna lose Bear" he said looking at the wolf with the apt name.
"ooooOOOooooo, someone's rather confident aren't they?" he replied.

"I'm not bragging about it, you guys want me to do this and so you're gonna pay the price for disturbing my 'peace'" William said as a creepy grin spread over his face.

"Fine then, I bet you ten bucks you can't beat Bear! so far he's smashed all of us" said Alex.

"Let's do it then" said William with a growl.

Taking his place across from Bear he positioned himself appropriately with his arm skyward and waited for the muscled wolf to match his gesture.
They locked arms, William thought he saw a touch of unease on Bears face when he grasped Williams paw. He hopped that Bear would not realise what the glove was hiding.
Alex counted down from three then the contest started.
Bear strained with all his might while William allowed him to gain some headway. When bear was past the usual point of no-return a toothy grin spread across his strained face.
William quickly silences this grid and with a blank stare, slowly pushed the wolfs arm back around and onto the table with the greatest of precision.

William let go and tapped his index finger on the table indicating for Alex to pay up. He did with a shocked and silent expression.


"What were you thinking!" bellowed Chaser.

"I'm sorry sir, it wont happen again" replied William feeling very foolish about his actions.

"Just see that you keep that mechanical mayhem maker of yours under control in the future. I cant have a tool as valuable as you blowing their cover and causing a rukkus."

The armoured vehicle jostled up and down on their way to a location unknown to William. During the silence that followed he could not help but imagine all the wheels and gears turning over in the vehicle. Like him, all of those components had to be working in unison to achieve the result. but unlike him it had no conscious thought and was driven by input controls rather than making it's own decisions. "This is what defines me from it I suppose" he thought to himself. As now was becoming the norm, concentrated thought on any object brought up 'on screen' additional information and in this case, even live schematics. Green holographic outlines appeared where the components would have been should there be a visible cut away. He could see the crank shaft and timing wheels rotating around, engine diagnostic data streamed across the side lines. This random occurrence was becoming slightly annoying, he hoped that he would figure out a way to control it a little better as time went on.

The troop transporter bounced over a speed hump, passed undisturbed through a boom gate and pulled up outside a large concrete building.

"Where are we?" asked William.

"That's for me to know and you to find out, you want the 'instructions' for yourself. This is where you are going to find them, along with a couple of post-testing up grades we have in development. I hope you charged up last night like I requested, it's going to be a long day" explained the Lion.

William disembarked the vehicle and into the bright summer sun, feeling prepared and positive for whatever challenges were in store.

"Well lets get started then" he said and Chaser nodded in approval.

once again not having the same 'feel' like the others. might be because I was distracted as per usual.

anyway, that's enough from our friend Will for now. lets see how i go with 'fursuit'.
i feel a bit happy that ive gotten back into this thread. it's like a hobby with no pressure and for once...a hobby that's cheap!


"Nothing will ever surpass the beauty and elegance of a bad idea"

Offline typingwithpaws

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #37 on: August 28, 2012, 09:15:01 am »
bugger it im gonna do another tonight. redemption  ;)


Tony sat in one corner and stared at the large light brown parcel in the other.
It was here, it was finally here. The courier had dropped off the parcel only minutes ago, Tony had of course raced outside to greet the man before anyone else in the house was aware of what was transpiring. He had even calculated the best possible probability of the package arriving on this day and had taken the day off work to await it's arrival. He trusted his family to not open something that was not addressed to them however did not exactly wish to take that chance either, it would be inexplicably embarrassing for him to be revealed to have purchased a realistic looking fox costume, or fursuit as it was known.

For now he just stared at the package, almost afraid to open it. The package was marked with a detailed paw print from the mysterious person he had purchased the suit from and with it was a detailed leaflet detailing the washing and cleaning of the article. But Tony was far more interested in anything but cleaning at this stage.

At last he got up from his chair, grabbed his Swiss army knife and cut the tape on the box. As he folded back the lid of the box the scent of 'new' wafted through the room. A smell that was almost always accompanied by excitement.
There it was, plastic wrapped and rather expressionless, the head of the costume and beneath it, the rest of the suit.
Tony was overcome with the thrill of being able to play his own designed character that he used on the Internet for role play. the ability to bring his character to life and walk around pretending that he was indeed that anthropomorphic vulpine.

He unpacked the box, laying each item out on his large bed then used his knife to carefully remove the plastic wrap from around each item in turn.

It wasn't long before he had slipped into the main portion of the costume and closed the zipper.
Suddenly there was a noise from upstairs, he froze in place listening as hard as he could.
Footsteps thudded along the floor followed by the sound of the back door opening, then closing. A second set of footsteps followed likewise. There was a series of thud's then the distinctive low rumble of a diesel engine.

"Fantastic!" thought Tony, "They're going out."

Once he saw the car zoom past his window and down the driveway he continued with his test fit.
First he grabbed his brush and removed any kinks in the fur.
It was now time for the final piece. With great joy he placed the head of the costume over his own then fluffed the edges around the neck seam to blend the two together.
It was done. Tony was gone and only Akio remained. He stood up and took a few clumsy footsteps toward the mirror to admire the character staring back at him.
He waved to himself and opened his jaw as if to say 'hi'.

Self confidence overflowed it's figurative container and as a result, Tony gathered his mess together, locked the house and went outside.
Without much of a plan he looked around for some sort of inspiration. visibility was fantastic, one of the advantages of paying the large sum of money he did. From his position he could hardly see the inside of the suit, even if he strained his eyes to their extremities.

"This is great" he chirped and decided to walk down the street toward the town centre with the goal in mind to mingle with the people. Having a spotter was preferable and he was fully aware of this but he was gifted in living in a small town with a low crime rate, he also reasoned that his martial arts and stamina at running would come in handy also should trouble arise.


Tony returned home just after dark, what a day it had been. He was hot but not overly so which surprised him after hearing the horror stories that plagued other full suit users. over the course of the day he had had plenty of water to drink but not much food besides a quick break in private to scoff down an apple.
Taking care not to bump into anything with his tail or trip over anything with his limited downward vision he silently padded up to the door beside his bedroom and turned the handle.
It was locked. 'No matter' he thought and went to try the other doors. They were all locked as well and the spare key had been under the pot plant for so long that it had eroded away into a pile of green oxidised metal.
"You have got to be kidding me" he whispered to himself.
Without any other options, no keys, no wallet, no phone, he went into the back yard and picked his way through a shrub and into his old cubby house.
There he curled in the corner and used his tail to assist in the insulation effort. As he did so he thought he felt a strange sensation in his lower back but quickly dismissed it. Too tired to even remove the warm comfortable head he fell asleep.

His dreams were rather disturbing. Images of his fantastic day inter-spliced with random recalling of wild foxes in their natural habitat. All of this coupled with the leaflet that was affixed to the top of the package, a warning, something was written on the paper that Tony couldn't quite make out. As he had never exactly read the instructions he could not recall the text he had glanced over.

A gunshot rang through the air, jutting Tony awake, wide eyed and feeling very strange indeed.
He quickly stood up then promptly fell over again as his balance failed him. He crawled using his hands to the door and peered out. Everything looked strange, like someone had put a damper on all the colours, just like on dusk where the human eye has trouble seeing in colour.

Another gunshot rang out followed by a splintering of wood right beside Tony's head.

Tony gasped and tried to stand again in order to run out of the bushes to show whoever the shooter was that he was indeed human and not a pest. This time he fell flat on his face.
He looked down at his hands, or what used to be his hands. In place of them were two small paws, he lowered his lead down to look at his legs and was ultimately shocked to see his legs bent and twisted into the hind legs of some sort of canine.
He locked up, frozen in shock at what he was looking at. From his rough appearance he was about half his previous size and looked more animal than ever before.

A third shot sounded and a shock wave passed over his head, rustling what he now realised were his ears, this drove him into instinctual action. He ran from the bushes, stumbling on his new four legs. As he burst out of the bushes he saw his dad standing there fumbling with the bolt of his rifle. Tony scampered around the house and quickly slipped in through the old disused doggie door.
He skittered across the hardwood floor and found his way into his bedroom, pushing the door shut behind him.
"Mirror mirror mirror mirror" was the only thought running through his head as he scampered across to the large wooden structure holding the reflective glass.
He reached it and peered back at himself. Standing before him was a perfect image of a wild red fox with blue eyes just like he had before.
"This is insane" he whispered to himself. "At least I can still talk" he said to himself.
Forsaking the shocking image in the mirror he dug around his messy room for the original box the fursuit came in and hopefully the flyer within.

Minutes passed and eventually he found the box down between the bed and the book case. Thankfully the leaflet was sitting on top. He went to grab it with a hand but fell short without the use of fingers. Using Both his paws and his muzzle proved the answer, he maneuvered the leaflet onto the ground and began reading.
"Dear purchaser,
thank you for purchasing this...." Tony skipped forward to the section he was interested in.
"Warning: by purchasing this costume from Jarwinder the mage you agree to the terms and conditions sent to you via email prior to purchase. Because of the magical nature of the methods used to create such a realistic looking costume, Jarwinder recommends not wearing the costume for a period of longer than two hours at a time or undesirable effects may take place. Jarwinder will not accept responsibility for any unexpected effects that take place upon the use of this costume."

There was no further detail on the paper. Tony turned it over in vain hope of finding some other detail that would help him out of this mess but there was none.

Feeling very scared and worried he went back to the mirror and stared at himself again. No expression could be interpreted on the animals face that looked back at him.
Now he would have to undertake the arduous task of planning the next step.


different style that time, highly predictable i think it was, even it the last part was a bit of a twist. it was also too fast paced for my liking but i think preferable considering the corney story line.'s 11:15pm and ive got work tomorrow. achievement accomplished!

"Nothing will ever surpass the beauty and elegance of a bad idea"

Offline Old Rabbit

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #38 on: August 28, 2012, 12:00:19 pm »
Nice continuation of William with the Wheel.

The fursuit story was cool.. Reminded me of a story I wrote once
with a rabbit fursuit of course.  Big difference was the suit was
a old twin male female pair that were used by a man and his wife.

The warning was not to sleep in the costumes during the full
moon. Which of course they did after returning tired from a costume
party. So they got to be anthro rabbits each month during every
full moon.

Keep up the nice work Typing.   Oh and how about the word "Typing"

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Offline Mylo

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #39 on: August 28, 2012, 12:58:17 pm »
It's nice that you like this hobby Typing.  :D  Now that William is getting used to his body, I suppose the temptation of using it for personal reasons is becoming very apparent.  :)
As for the fursuiting story, I really enjoyed it!  The twist at the end certainly wasn't predictable for me, but considering how little I've read in furry literature, I can't say that as a general statement.  I found your motto at the end funny, considering how many times we click 'I agree' on terms of services online without reading them...  But anyways, great job on both stories, and it was nice that you did two in one day. about Furtopia(:

Offline The Wise one

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #40 on: August 28, 2012, 03:44:48 pm »
How about..... Gamer?
Check out my Deviantart if you wanna

Offline typingwithpaws

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #41 on: September 03, 2012, 08:36:23 am »
ok...ive got a sugary bread roll, and a 1.25L bottle of Kobuk's favourite drink...with caffine.

Triple story marathon? lets see how far i get  8)


Taka tac tac taka tac taka.

Flint wished his keyboard was quieter than it currently was. The rest of his family was in bed and he had three short stories to write that night that were due for a school assignment the following day.
Ideas flew through his head, constantly pestering him to get up and find something to procrastinate with. But among those ideas drifted plot elements that were possible additions to the story writing process.
Ideas such as a bionic copy of a soldiers body, turning from one species into a freaky hairless pink skinned ape and even a fully sentient AI were all swirling around and mingling together. It was very confusing at times but once the ideas were filtered, words began to flow from his fingertips and into the computer.

There was a ever so quiet knock on the door to his room and in came his mother with the washing. He quickly but inconspicuously minimised the window, returning his desktop to it's usual display of YouTube.
For some reason he disliked the idea of his mum reading anything he had written about the hairless pink apes, it was too strange and abstract for someone like her to understand.

"Here's your washing, i'll leave it on the bed so you can fold it" she said in a hurried voice.
"Mhmm" Flint mumbled in return.
"What are you up to?"
"You never were any good at lying, you always flatten your ears when you try to hide the truth" she said with a small grin.

Flint mentally slapped himself for not paying attention to his body language, now some inevitable questioning was to follow and so a convincing story had to be made up on the spot to avoid the full truth.

"Uhh, well for the first time ever, I am actually doing homework when you have come into my room" he said.
"That dosen't look like homework on your screen there" she replied.

"Bugger! she's got me" he thought.

"It's kind of embarrassing. I can see you won't drop the subject no?" he asked.
"It's alright Flint, you can tell me anything you want to"

Flint restored the window with his current story so far, the one he had begun about someone much like himself who ended up turning into one of the apes that he had named 'skinnies' and then had to try and function within society as that creature.
After skirting the edges of his story to his mum he sat back and waited for her to give him a 'you're weird' expression. But it never came.
Instead the only response he received was; "By the look of it you have some grammatical errors to correct. Do you want any help with that?"

Somewhat shocked he nodded his head and together they sat down and worked on the story together. Quality family time may be hard to come by these days but sometimes the most simple of chores can result in the best of memories.

A really short short story for a change. I was running out of ideas for that one...but a story about someone writing a story...HAHAHAHA.
right, what's next?

Joining this forum was one of the most interesting things I have ever done in my life. After loitering around and skirting the edges of the Furry Fandom for the previous two years I decided to 'bite the bullet' and join in.

My first experience was just looking over some posts and reading about the various 'often-posters' and what was appropriate and what was not. Followed by a trip to the rules and regs section to confirm what I had been given implication of. This is where I wanted to be.
Having seen limited art from the 'dark side' and choosing not to associate with it, the G/PG rated environment suited me well and I was glad to be part of it.

My first post was kind of nerve racking. I wanted to leave a lasting impression and a good one. Something that would sum up where I stood with my views, who I was and in this case; WHAT I was. After this was completed I continued with my normal boring life, checking back often to see whether I had received any attention. Normally I disliked being in the spotlight but everyone likes attention. It is easy to see the 'likeaholics' on Facebook. While I was not one of these people, I did put effort into training myself to not get over exited when the forums mods posted their traditional greeting messages.

The next week was spent gawking at various fursuit designs and wondering on the best way to acquire my own. Eventually I found my way onto the IRC chat room where I immediately made some new long distance friends. The most interesting difference I noticed from this chat to other non-furry chat rooms was the wide usage of third person gestures such as hugging and other random acts of cuteness. It was so exiting to interact with so many like minded people and having the greatest sense of 'I'm not the only weird one'.

Months passed, friendships solidified and events were discussed. Eventually I found myself ordering my first fursuit after taking a crash diet to afford it. Followed by making plans to attend my first convention ever; MidFur.
These decisions soon branched me outwards and finding my first local furry contact. This gave me a goal; Get out and make some friends!

With this motivation to push me along and some good solid funding to afford the travel I set off. Connections lead to more connections and eventually I was hooked up with around fifteen other fandom dwellers. The alone feeling was totally obliterated.
However some of this lead to another strange emotion that I can only describe as depression, however minimal it was.

After meeting up with these people for the first time and having a ball I felt strangely upset when the time to leave them was upon me. The lonely drive home was an interesting one. Not having a history of depression made me wonder if it was a 'depressed' feeling at all. But in any case I still felt a little down.
Thankfully the practical side of my brain kicked in and I returned to daily life and eventually, as per usual, I became happy once more.

To this day I still harbour much excitement and nervousness about Midfur as it rapidly approaches. Questions like "What do you DO at a con?" are common things I ask myself. But this is often wiped away by the ever present problem of money.

And where do I sit now? becoming more artistic than I have ever been before, having more friends than I have ever had before and having a good story to let my imagination run wild with. All of this coupled by a constant stream of things to look forward to make my life one to be grateful for!

that was interesting, more like an autobiography and it 'felt' rather boring to be honest. these 'real' words relating to my real life demand 'real' subjects to be written about, this limits my imagination and presents a new challenge. even the next word 'gamer' takes us into the real world where a player sits at a computer.


If you were a fly on the wall of this particular room you would not see much.
The room was nearly pitch black with the closed curtains and a singular light source. The computer screen glowed a multitude of colours as a mythical character danced and jumped across the monitor.
Also atop the desk rested a leaning tower of Dr. Pepper and Mountain Dew cans, propped up with a pile of dishes and chip packets.

The only noises heard were muffled sound effects from the earphones and the tapping of buttons as Luke navigated his digital self around the virtual fantasy world.

War Games III had only been released the previous day and Danny had been awaiting its release for several months. At last the beta was over and the full game put into service. The way the game was presented allowed the player to fully immerse themselves in their chosen character. This allowed Luke to escape the confines of his vulpine body and embrace the Elven character of his choice and fight the war against the......

i cant finish this one tonight, lets leave that at 'to be continued'.
need some sleep. but i will say that all of these three words have been difficult and challenging to write about!
we'll see how i feel tomorrow, it's like i'm running low on creativity, hence the shorter stories?

"Nothing will ever surpass the beauty and elegance of a bad idea"

Offline Old Rabbit

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #42 on: September 03, 2012, 12:29:31 pm »
Writing a story about writing a story.. That's cool.. After all you see shows about
shows on tv and in movies too. Nice job. :orbunny:

The one on furtopia was good. A documentary of sorts about a new member.
Perhaps yourself?

A natural gamers room. Living to play.  :D

Keep up the nice work.   Oh! on the fursuit I really thought
you might have written about William getting a new fursuit for
his android body..  Go for that if you wish. 

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Offline Mylo

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #43 on: September 03, 2012, 01:26:06 pm »
I think you wrote a lot of very relatable mini stories, or at least I could relate to most of them. I can't count how many times I've been in the same situation as the person in the first story, and I'm sure most of the furries on Furtopia have at one time or another felt the same as the character (you ;)) when they joined the forums.

The gamer one reminded me of my old room neighbor. It got so bad that he had to leave school two weeks early to go to the doctor after living off of only instant ramen and Dr. Pepper. Hopefully, this character doesn't have to go through that... :o

I actually liked these mini in, their relative size; it made for a perfect read in between rides on the subway. ;) So here is a new word for you, or rather, a letter: T.

Offline typingwithpaws

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #44 on: September 03, 2012, 05:02:21 pm »
Oh! on the fursuit I really thought
you might have written about William getting a new fursuit for
his android body..  Go for that if you wish. 

Old Rabbit :orbunny:

i can't believe i missed out that idea, i think it crossed my mind very briefly but that sounds like a good write!

T in Mr. T? hahahaha or how about T-pain or even T-erminator hehehehe
"Nothing will ever surpass the beauty and elegance of a bad idea"

Offline DarkDemon

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #45 on: September 03, 2012, 05:41:22 pm »
Hey, I like your stories! :3 What can you do with the word 'Glass'? If it hasn't been done, I didn't read all of the posts...
I just got mai computer fixed!! :D :3
Surrender the peanuts!
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Offline typingwithpaws

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #46 on: September 04, 2012, 08:05:24 am »
Ideas brewing and taking us back to our mechanical friend William.


"And stop. That concludes the power supply testing, you're good to go with that one" the technician said to William after he had completed the final stages of the small fusion reactor shakedown phase.

"So how long is this thing supposed to last? it's sure going to beat plugging in every night and the worry i've been feeling about running out of power" He queried.

"If the circumstances are preferable; three to five years before the core requires more fuel"
"And you mentioned that I can now power certain accessories?"
"Yep, I was just getting to that. Follow me please."

William followed the cheetah down a long hall way then through a very well reinforced door with a paw print scanner for them to gain access. They pulled a hard right into a dark room, Williams night vision kicked in automatically but he was immediately blinded as the lights were switched on, bathing the room in a cool blue light.
Lining the walls were white racks that were holding up row after row of various types of weapons. Everything from early century to current models were available. Assault rifles, Projectile launchers, powder less electronic weapons or PEW's were all lined up in perfect order, the white light reflecting off their polished surfaces.

While William was preoccupied gawking at the vast array the technician had blundered off to the back of the store room and was now returning with a small, black cut down looking automatic weapon. William had never seen anything like it before in his life.

"What's that?" he blurted out.
"This is the new CSMG or Caseless Sub Machine Gun. It's just like your typical gun powder firearm but there is no brass casing the contain the powder. Instead we have used a silica based casing to contain the powder and this casing burns away once fired..."

"And eliminates the ejection phase correct?" interrupted William.
"Yes, how did you know that?"
"I'm browsing the database right now" he laughed as he flicked through the various files in his minds-eye.

The feline grumbled and handed William the weapon saying; "There, that's your sidearm. How am I supposed to surprise you if you keep googling the database for the latest information?"

As he walked away, William examined his new toy. It was matt black with a large drum magazine which he assumed could be changed out for a smaller clip to save weight. But then he remembered that weight was hardly an issue with his new strength so more rounds was always a good thing. On top there was a small display for ammunition counting and presumably barrel temperature. The side was fairly featureless apart from the bolt lever to cycle through a new round when the clip was changed but unlike anything else he had operated, there was no ejection port.

His examination was cut short when the Cheetah returned pushing a trolley with a white sheet draped over it and a large bulging lump hidden beneath.

"Any guesses smarty pants?" he asked.
"Nope, you've got me stumped this time" he said. There was no relevant data on the limited visual he could pull off the weapon he could see via the use of thermal imaging.

With a flourish of movement the big cat whipped off the sheet and revealed a very large, under slung, multi-barrelled machine of destruction.
Small points on interest appeared across Williams vision, indicating the possibility of it being a Laser weapon and that the barrels rotated but the analysis program that was running in the back of his mind could deduce no more secrets from it without physical manipulation.

The cheetah tried his best to sound dramatic; "This" he began. "This is the latest in current portable laser technology. I present to you, the MRT065. Also known as the Medium range Reconnaissance Turret, also known as it's nick name after the late wrestler; Mr. T."

"Sounds impressive, what's it do?" William stupidly replied.

"Wha...what's it do? come here and I'll show you"

William walked over and examined the large machine. The technician caught his attention for a second to explain some basic safety principles before saying; "It's actually too heavy for someone like me, or any other soldier to lift. You are pretty much the only person who can operate this thing without a vehicle to mount it on. So in order to demonstrate how it works, ill kind of have to guide you through it's usage. First place your right paw on the top handle and your left on the rear handle where the trigger is."

William did so but nothing of interest happened.

"Oh, try taking your gloves off, your paws have to make contact with the handle directly for a proper connection"

William removed his thick gloves and repeated his last actions. This time a package of data filled his vision, weapon specifications flickered to the corner of his eyesight and another bar related to power consumption illuminated to his right.

"Normally something this large requires it's own power source, but this model has been optimised for you, with the electrical connection through your paws it will use the power from your new reactor for itself. You will find the power requirements quite small compared to other tasks you shall be accomplishing in the future however. Now if you would please move to the window and aim down range."

William lifted the gun from the trolley and walked easily toward the window on the firing range. At the end was a large painted red target which, according to the new data scrolling across his vision, was made of three inch steel plate.

"Now sight down range at the target, remove the safety and pull the trigger" the cheetah instructed.

William focused on the target and prepared himself, suddenly one of his eyes went black then returned in a rather confusing way. His right eye was now looking along the iron sight of the weapon and a large cross-hair was plastered across the image.
"It must have interfaced with my vision program for better aiming capabilities" William thought to himself.

He lined up the target and Pulled the trigger, there was a short delay as the rotating barrel spun to a frightening speed then unleashed a beam of blinding blue light at the steel plate. William's eyes polarised themselves to protect the photo-receptive diodes within them as the steel plate was melted into a puddle of molten metal. William was so shocked that he prematurely released the trigger.

The weapon resumed it's unassuming position and quietly hummed and hissed as the device cooled itself.

William examined the damage caused. The plate was gone, only a puddle of rapidly cooling slag remained, the concrete wall behind the plate was missing a large round section and was severely scorched in the surrounding area.

The cheetah was both shocked and slightly angry at this; "I told him! I bloody told him we needed a thicker target plate and dissipation coverings put in place! But noooooo, he thinks he knows better! He always thinks he knows better."

After the little rant was over he said; "You keep getting yourself familiar with Mr. T there while I go and get the last piece of gear for you."

William fiddled and examined with the large turret type gun for several minutes before deciding to place it back on the trolley from where it had come from. As soon as he released the handles his vision returned to normal, warning and information free.
What a day it had been so far, he was almost exited to go out with his new abilities and equipment to grind the enemy into a pulp, hopefully the one who he was supposed to capture before his accident, like a form or revenge.

His thoughts were interrupted again when the spotted cat returned again with a large pile of what looked like red fur. He dumped it on the table and brushed some fluff off his nose.

"This is your new fursuit, your current one was only knocked up hastily to allow you some sort of normality during your trauma, this one has much more R&D put into it believe me" he explained.

It took several minutes for William to remove his clothing and old fake fur covering. Just like last time it was rather scary for him to see himself as he really was, a mechanical android with electrical and mechanical parts all moving in unison.
Piece by piece the two of them worked to cloth his metal body in this new form of fur. William's limited feel ability in his fingertips detected that this was far softer than the previous type, more silky in a way. It reminded him of what his own fur used to be like before all of this.
The technician worked around his back, while doing so plugged something into a vacant socket near Williams tail. Finally he zipped William up and fluffed the fur over the small zipper to cover it over.
"There, happy with this newer model?" he asked.

"First impressions are favourable, yes I do like it. have you got a mirror?" Asked William.
The technician grabbed a mirror from under his desk and handed it to William.

"Amazing!" exclaimed William. Looking back at his own eyes was his old face, or what looked to be his own face. Almost an exact replica of his former self, flawless to even the most detailed eye. The main give away was the lack of complexity in muscle movements, simple ones were detectable but complex compound movements simply were not possible with the machinery he had been issued with.

"Now" began the cheetah, "I'm not entirely sure how your programming will react to this but try thinking really hard about being sneaky, plaster yourself against that wall over there next to the door as it you were about to kick it down and storm the room" he instructed.

William did so, sidearm raised, tail limp and ears perked he pressed himself flat against the wall. A strange sensation ran down what would have been his spine if he had one to speak of and a small transparent icon appeared on his display.

"Well done Will" congratulated the technician.
"What have I done?" asked William as the cheetah handed him the mirror for a second time.
William took the mirror and turned it to face himself, but he could not see his face, nor could he see his paw holding the mirror. The plastic and glass item floated randomly in space approximately where his paw should have been.

"Active Camouflage" explained the cat before William could ask. "It pretty much makes you invisible when you stand still and very hard to spot when moving. But it only lasts for a limited time before the photo cells within your new fur reach their duty cycle and must switch off to cool down."

"This has got to be one of the coolest things ever! why doesn't everyone have one of these?" asked William.
"Because you are looking at over three billion dollars worth of technology right there, not to mention yourself. As you stand there you are a total cost of five billion dollars and that's not including Mr. T over there."

"But think of the lives it could save!"

"You know as well as I do that the top brass think that a soldier is expendable, while not an asset to waste they are not worth spending several billion dollars on to save. The truth hurts don't it, consider yourself lucky that you have been brought back."

"Lucky is not the word I would have chosen" replied William darkly, becoming visible once more.

Captain Chaser barged into the room unannounced and took one quick look at the clothless fox standing before him.
"You! get dressed and grab your gear. We're rolling out in three minutes and you had better be ready Will. The time has come for you to prove to me that you were worth saving from that rocket pack explosion."

William calmly walked over to the trolley, grabbed his clothes under one arm, his sidearm under his armpit and hoisted the MRT onto his shoulder.
"Waiting on you now captain" He said gruffly.

weeeeee i did it. good thing i finished it when i did. my brain is starting to go to bed without me.
incorperated Rabbits suggestion and Mylo's letter.
though i think i should have given the technician a name.

onto Glass next time.
« Last Edit: September 04, 2012, 08:12:00 am by typingwithpaws »
"Nothing will ever surpass the beauty and elegance of a bad idea"

Offline Old Rabbit

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #47 on: September 04, 2012, 12:10:36 pm »
Nicely done as usual Typing.  I kinda thought a new suit would fit the
story well. 

Now you have lots of possibilities for William and his new life.

Oh! That's a new word  "possibilities"  :orbunny:
Avatar drawn by me.

Offline Mylo

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #48 on: September 04, 2012, 02:34:09 pm »
The government seems to have not spared any expense when it came to William.  ;)  Great job Typing, and here is another word: satellite.

Oh btw, I chose T because that's what the subway is called in Boston, but I didn't want to tell you that so that you could create something else based off of it.  :)

Offline typingwithpaws

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Re: Paws's short story challenge
« Reply #49 on: September 05, 2012, 06:27:24 am »
The government seems to have not spared any expense when it came to William.

This presented an interesting issue, too much good in one direction. have to answer the 'why'.
today i think i solved the issue, will write it in now!
so back to William again, it seems he might make a good novel some day with some modifications and fleshing out.


William crouched low in the long grass, keeping the MRT in close proximity so as to not make any noise when the time came to pick it up.
While he waited for the sun to set and his operation to begin he pondered what the captain had told him during the flight.

"Why?" he had began to ask; "Why spend so much money on me? Surely the funds would be better spent on upgrades to soldiers armour or standard issue weapons, I'm worth as much as about ten fully armed battle tanks. What is so special about me?"

The captain sat in silence for several minutes, calculating his response to give to the android.
"You are worth more than you think. Because of your skill set you are now able to carry out missions that a whole platoon could not. You require minimal support, no food or water, no shelter, less supplies. All of these things combined will save lives of valued soldiers. You can carry out the higher risk objectives where even a small squadron of tanks would fail with your stealth ability and raw fire-power to boot" Explained Chaser in detail.

William pondered this information then asked one last question; "Why me? Surely I'm not the only one who faced death and was eligible to be drafted into this program."

"Why you? I'll tell you 'why you'. Because you are the only one of those candidates who followed orders to the letter, you are the only one level headed enough to control your new body. You were selected because of your calm personality. That's why."

The sun had set, the thoughts of the conversation settled over William, making him feel like he had a greater purpose. Darkness had settled over the enemy encampment, somewhere within the base was a hostage who had been taken from them in the dark of night. No one even notices his absence until the demand video was broadcast. The enemy was a large band of drug lords who were sick of having to constantly evade the authorities and as a result had banded together to wage a war. Now this would not have been a great issue, the small band could have been crushed within a week; but the result was the rousing of the entire country. They all rose up and wanted freedom from their financial depression. The only way they saw fit for this result was war. Unfortunately this was the result, a 6 month long war between two countries.

William slowly stood up, grabbing the large laser turret as he did so, and activated his camouflage. It was fascinating to watch; like water flowing over his body, starting from his chest as he slowly turned from his red and white self into a shimmering transparent image. The image flowed over his arms and then through the connection between his arm and the MRT's own photoreflective cells, which in turn activated. The transparent image on himself faded and was replaced with a ever so slight shimmer of light where the image from behind him was reproduced on his front, causing it to be warped.

"Now all I have to do is avoid knocking anything over with my tail, or anything else for that matter" He thought to himself.

Walking without being able to see your various body parts moving in sequence was highly disorientating, he was even granted bonus peripheral vision due to being able to see through where his muzzle normally was.

He crept forward slowly, using his ever useful night vision to watch for any movement, he had to get out of this long grass as fast and quietly as possible so that no one would see it moving around him.
As he exited the grass and onto the open camp ground, a guard rounded the corner holding a powerful flash-light.

William froze in place, but the sudden movement of him stopping caused one final stomp of his foot.
The guard looked up and shone his torch straight at William. Thankfully the camouflage was doing it's job and hid the red fox from view. But the Guard was not convinced, the big burly armed raccoon ran up the hill toward William, stopping just a few feet in front of him to shine his light around the area. Spotting nothing of interest he turned to leave but paused at the last second. He noticed a depressed section of grass, right where William was standing. Interest perked and the raccoon un-holstered his weapon and reached out toward Williams direction.

William was frozen stiff, unsure what to do he remained still in case the problem solved itself. It didn't.
The masked animal didn't stop, as his paw came into contact with Williams chest, instinct drove him into action.
The procyon recoiled at the contact and William dropped his gun, leapt over the furry guards head and landed squarely behind him. Startled the guard fired his pistol randomly into the darkness but before being able to pull the trigger a second time, William whacked his metallic paw to the back of the guards head. The raccoon collapsed to the ground, knocked out cold.
William got to work dragging the body into the long grass and hog tying and gagging the guard with his own uniform.
The shot would have surely gotten the attention of the rest of the force so he had to move quickly. Exiting the grass for a second time he grabbed his gun again and sprinted toward the camp as enemy soldiers streamed out of the various buildings like angry ants from their hill.

"This is what I've been built for so lets get some results" William thought to himself as fear washed over him at the sheer insanity of it all. Had he been visible at all, and mortal for that matter, he surely would have been shot on sight there and then.

He dodged between two of the advancing enemies and took cover against the corner of a concrete building.
From where he stood he could see the soldiers all fan out in all directions searching for the source of the disturbance.

Short cut off this time, i WANT to write more...but i want to watch The Avengers on my phone more XD

"Nothing will ever surpass the beauty and elegance of a bad idea"