Author Topic: Forbidden Interaction  (Read 2039 times)

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Offline Feline Frenzy

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Forbidden Interaction
« on: September 18, 2013, 11:34:38 pm »
Constructive criticism is welcome. Tell me what ya think of this!
The stars shimmered in the misty night sky, giving hope to a fox anthro standing atop a tall hill, her long, golden fur blowing in the wind. Her steadfast gaze carefully examined the shiny specks above her as her furry, gleaming tail swished slowly from side to side. She gave a deep sigh of admiration. "They're so pretty... But..." She looked down, closing her bright, youthful eyes. "I suppose it's beyond their power to counteract loneliness." She sighed again, this time out of sorrow.
"...Hey."
The fox-girl quickly turned her head to see a male human. She gasped, then bounded down the hill, racing across the grass.
"No, wait! I wanted to talk to you!"
The fox kept running, then stopped, realizing she wasn't being chased. She tilted her head at the human in confusion. Her parents had always told her that humans were dastardly beings that would stop at nothing to destroy their kind, the furries. Yet, this human looked like he hadn't even started to try. She saw him turn away, seemingly disappointed. She carefully made her way back up, in case he was planning a surprise attack.
Just as the fox was near the top of the hill, she heard a voice. She stopped and listened closely, barely peering over the edge.
"Now I'll never see her again..." the human buried his face in his hands, sitting on the grass. "I should've known..."
This human didn't seem dangerous at all. Had he really come all this way... Just to meet her? She cleared her throat. "Hi..."
The human turned around, shocked. "Y-you came back..."
"I... um, understand you wanted to talk?" She sat down beside him.
"Y-yeah... Wh-what's your name?"
"It's Lakeisha... And you?"
She couldn't believe herself. She was talking to a human, something she was forbidden to do.
"Scott."
"Ah. So, Scott... Can you tell me how you found me?"
Scott blushed. "Well, I... I was just walking through the woods."
"Interesting... You're the first human I've known to wander so close to my home," Lakeisha replied, looking at Scott with skepticism.
"Oh, all right... I snuck out of my town. I heard someone slip about where your people live."
"So you're trying to destroy us on your own?" The fox glared at him.
"What?! No way! Why would I want to destroy you?"
Lakeisha shrugged, her expression softening. "My parents told me that's what humans do."
"Yeah? My parents told me that anthros were vicious beasts that couldn't be reasoned with." He scoffed.
Lakeisha smiled. "Why didn't you believe them?"
"Because it didn't make sense. All an anthro was, in my mind, was a person just like me covered in fur that had pointy ears and a tail. As it turns out, I'm right." He smiled.
"So why'd you come looking for us?"
"Well... I've always wanted to meet a furry. I thought it'd be fun."
A wave of terror spread through the fox's face as she imagined what would happen if the human had actually found her home on his own. "Go..."
"...What?"
"Go! You aren't safe here! Leave, begone, scram!"
"Woah, woah, woah! Calm down! What are you talking about?"
Lakeisha closed her eyes and shook her head, then turned to look at him again. "Have you ever been told that furries eat humans?"
"Countless times. I know that's fake."
She bit her lip. "What if I told you... That part is actually real?"
Scott raised an eyebrow. "No way."
Lakeisha nodded gravely. "The furries hate the humans so much, if they find one trespassing, they'll swallow them in one gulp and think nothing of it."
"Wow, that's... cold..." Scott shivered, wishing he could unimagine what he just did. "What a horrible way to die..."
"It must be... I always thought they deserved it for threatening us, but now that I know..." Lakeisha's eyes welled up. "All those innocent people..." She began choking on her words. "Th-they didn't deserve that! Just because they hate us doesn't mean we can torture them to death!"
Scott put a hand on Lakeisha's shoulder. "Hey, don't cry... You couldn't have done anything about it. You didn't know."
The fox wiped her tears away. "I-I know... It's just so unfair..."
"Well, you've never eaten anyone, have you?"
She shook her head. "And now I'm darn proud of it."
The two sat in silence for a while, each admiring the other, until Lakeisha glanced at her watch and gasped. "Oh gosh, I'm late! Sorry, I have to go."
"B-but wait!"
"We can meet here again tomorrow night."
"No, we can't!"
"...Why not?" Lakeisha tilted her head.
"I... I'm lost."
"What?! You don't remember where you came from?"
Scott winced. "I can't say I do..."
"Oh, great..." Lakeisha sighed. There was only one way for him to make it out alive.
"What should I do?"
"Well... I have one solution, but you might not like it..."
"What is it?"
Lakeisha took a deep breath. "Furries are a bit more practiced in the art of magic than humans. Using the bit of magic I know, I could...--" she trailed off.
"Yes?" Scott signaled her to tell more.
"I could eat you and keep you safe inside of me back where I live." She bit her lip.
Scott stared blankly at her, trying to comprehend what she just said.


--END CHAPTER 1--
"At heart, no one truly desires to be alone."

Offline Old Rabbit

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Re: Forbidden Interaction
« Reply #1 on: September 19, 2013, 12:45:50 pm »
A nice story Feline Frenzy. Moves along well too.

The only thing I noticed was a few times I had to re-read to
tell who was speaking. Only a few times though.
Perhaps a line space between each ones dialog would help.

Keep up the good work. :orbunny:
Avatar drawn by me.
oldrabbit.com

Offline MiaMegurine

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Re: Forbidden Interaction
« Reply #2 on: September 19, 2013, 03:13:00 pm »
oh my, that was wonderful! <3 more more please ^^.
"Sometimes our saints are sinners, they blur the lines and lead the way."-Matthew Sanders