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« Last post by Jade Sinapu on April 28, 2024, 11:38:02 pm »
I have registered for Denfur 2024, and even booked a room for 4 days. It's going to cost me over 1350 and I can't afford this anymore.
I, might Contact local furs to room share, but I'm very shy and introverted, it will be hard to room share.
I do love the art, music, stories, bands, goodies. And of course costumes, etc that the con has each year! I feel being in furry is, strangely, a special exclusive club, although we all know it is not! But it makes me feel special. I feel the love all the furries have and revel in it. It charges me with energy at times. It keeps me going. I love them all!
So I will probably go this year. I have the time off approved. I saved the money.
But it will be my last con, and will probably mark the end of my furry love affair. So to speak. I will probably fade away like so many. I never got to tell my story, never got to show the world who I am. I feel so lost right now. To be honest, I'm really down, it blows when you know you can't do stuff anymore. Turn back time only 5 years and I would be climbing mountains and running and jogging. Now walking my dog on a level surface is exhausting. Hard to be happy.
I will, honestly, always have a soft spot in my soul for furry culture.
It "speaks to me" in ways nothing else in life can. My room is plastered with furry art. I've read many furry stories. I've met good furs at conventions. The music is good, the atmosphere groovey, the lights are memorizing. The music is my drug. I love it and it makes me young.
And, mark my words, I do believe in time, furry will help in a small way to change the world into a better place by being what it is, with all its good, bad and in-between. Don't ask me to explain what I mean, it's just an understanding imparted to me in a dream I had. A very vivid dream too. All I can say is the world is full of hate and is very negative and mean and promotes division. And furry is most often the opposite of all that. I know this site doesnt get the readership it used too, but maybe sometime who needs this info gets it anyway.
But...
I've apparently developed arthritis and fatigue. It's ruining my life. I have only 16 stairs in my house and that's 16 too many.
And if I was brutally honest, despite all odds, I wanted to find a true girl friend in the Fandom, no sex required. I love girls for what and who they are. Period. I know..I know... odds were against me from the start I know. I was old to start with too. Mostly it's guys too, which I'm not into. Sorry. With that said, I've met many a wonderful loving guy. And I'm happy for that.
Alas, I'm tired of the extreme fakery the Fandom has in it w.r.t. people. I could go on. But why?
I just wanted to be a dog and meet a girl fur who got me.
Ain't gunna happen. I've had good times, though. I feel out of place at cons, despite having an okay time. I only go now for the raves, and I am in constant pain from arthritis. It takes pain meds, energy drinks, rest and steroids to let me enjoy it anyway. Perhaps it's time to step aside?
I've never had any enemies here, or so i hope. I've had good friendships here.
I will try to keep checking in.
And against all odds, perhaps I will feel better in the future and will change my tune.
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