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furry games and gaming discussions => word games => Topic started by: Onion on August 25, 2011, 01:03:30 am
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Here how you play.
Post a Chuck Norris Fact. It can be tottaly original or a good one you seen somewhere, you'd like to share.
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Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.
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Chuck Norris can shoot bullets without a gun.
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Chuck Norris can stare at the sun.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have to go to Burger King or Subway to have it his way.
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Chuck Norris doesn't pay attention - Attention pays him.
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Chuck Norris once went to the Virgin Islands. When he left, they were just called the Islands.
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Superman got his powers when Chuck Norris sneezed on him.
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cuuck norris uses a razorwire back scratcher (replaced after every use)
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Jesus follows Chuck Norris on Twitter. (:
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a Lytro (http://www.lytro.com/cameras)camera...he's always in focus.
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Chuck Norris once had a staring contest with Medusa. You can probably guess who won.
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Hydrogen forms helium when Chuck Norris punches the air.
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Chuck Norris once lost a fight, only to understand the feeling.
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That Earthquake in Virginia was just Chuck Norris doing jumping jacks.
Couple of classics I like:
Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He pushes the earth down.
Under Chuck Norris' beard is another fist.
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Chuck Norris can "Do the Dew". ;)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dIgey9NLdhk
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Chuck Norris is an Ungulate!
You're doing it wrong.
Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.
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Chuck Norris has an extra fist underneath his beard.
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Chuck Norris is actually a carnivore furry wearing a human disguise. ;)
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When Chuck Norris reads a Chuck Norris Fact, he doesn't laugh. he simply nods.
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Chuck Norris can out dance Mr.Six
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Yes, Chuck Norris can in fact "Kill you with kindness"!
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Neil Armstrong is not the first man on the moon. Chuck Norris round house kicked a man onto the moon three weeks before the Apollo mission was even imagined.
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Chuck Norris got his but kicked by BRice Lee.
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If Chuck Norris is Jesus, then what does that make Bruce Lee?
Buddha
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When we were looking for weapons of mass destruction in the Middle East, we found out that Chuck Norris was just vacationing there.
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Chuck Norris has won The Game... twice.
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Chuck Norris went to Jared!
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Chuck Norris doesn't buy airplane tickets. He jumps, roundhouse kicks the earth, and lands.
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Chuck Norris has better taste than the most interesting man in the world. He drinks Sierra Nevada. 8)
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Chuck Norris once tried shadow kick-boxing. Six weeks later, his shadow was released from the hospital and still walks with a limp to this day.
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We only see one side of the moon because Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the other side.
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Chuck Norris can touch 'dis!!
It's Hammer Time! (: :) (: :)
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My lord... I have three posters of this sort of thing.
-Chuck Norris' smile once brought a puppy back to life.
-Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. It's descendants are known today as Giraffes.
-Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
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Most kids wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
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Chuck Norris is so fast he is able too run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head...
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Chuck Noris' helicopter doesn't hover. It beats the air into submission.
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Most earthquakes are actually caused by Chuck Norris doing pushups.
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Chuch norris can beast a statue in a staring contest
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Chuck Norris will argue with a fense post, and win.
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does not fly to a distant city. He sits in the airplane and the distant city flies to him.
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Chuck Norris CAN eat just one Lay's Potato Chip.
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Chuck Norris just puckers his lips, and the candles on his birthday cake blow themselves out.
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Chuck Norris threw a grenade, it killed fifty people, then the grenade blew up.
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Chuck Norris upset the Periodic Table. He only recognizes the element of surprise.
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Some people can bend a spoon with only their mind. Chuck Norris can bend a spoon without even using his mind.
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Chuck Norris' consciousness doesn't move forward through time, time moves backward through Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can simply walk into mordor
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Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick satellites into orbit.
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chuck Norris won a staring contest against the sun
god pays tribute to chuck norris
when chuck norris sleeps the sun goes down in respect
when chuck norris takes a shower he uses corrosive acid insted of water
chuck norris doesn't use a gun, his stare will put holes in you
chuck norris is the only one in the world whose able to play the worlds smallest violin
chuck norris doesn't use a light switch when ever he walks into a room the lights automatically turn on
WHEN CHUCK NORRIS IS HUNGRY a deer automatically cooks its self and put its self on the table just before he gets there
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God granted Chuck Norris the ability to create laws of physics, so Chuck Norris created himself.
Chuck Norris doesn't have real enemies; they're too afraid to be born.
When a bullet exits a gun in Chuck Norris' presence it's because it thinks it can get away from him.
When Chuck Norris builds a nuclear weapon, energy equals mass times the speed of Chuck Norris squared.
Chuck Norris can know the speed and position of a particle simultaneously. But scientists cannot know Chuck Norris' speed or position.
Chuck Norris writes Chuck Norris facts sometimes but to him they all seem to be direct logical consequences of the Peano Axioms, so it's an unnecessary exercise.
When Chuck Norris writes Chuck Norris facts, the jokes are never too obscure.
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chuck norris eats coal and poos diamonds
chuck norris already died but death is to afraid to tell him
chuck norris cooks food by looking at it
when chuck norris wants to make a phone call the phone dials its self
before every meal chuck norris thanks himself for the bounty
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Chuck Norris can unring a bell.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris can have his cake and eat it too.
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Everyone thinks their baby is the cutest, but Chuck Norris actually was the cutest baby.
Baby Chuck Norris was so cute that if the Internet had existed when he was born there would have been no cat pictures on it. All our desktops would be Baby Chuck Norris desktops.
Baby Chuck Norris was so cute that other mothers had to be quarantined from him in the hospital so that they would still take care of their children.
Baby Chuck Norris was so cute that if someone had put a baby-sized cowboy hat on him, the Universe would have reached its maximum cuteness level and kittens would start spontaneously dying to keep the fabric of reality from collapsing.
The word "Kawaii" originally entered the Japanese language in order to describe baby Chuck Norris.
Baby Chuck Norris was so cute that the Gerber baby wet his pants.
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Chuck Norris's mother spanked him once... ONCE.
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The main export of Chuck Norris is PAIN.
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In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris doesn't wait... he sleeps.
In Soviet Russia, Death died years ago and Chuck Norris doesn't have the courage to tell him.
Chuck Norris doesn't get shipped off to Siberia, Siberia gets sent to Chuck Norris.
In Soviet Russia, there is nothing to fear but fear itself. (Yes, this is a Chuck Norris joke. :D )
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chuck norris can stop shuffling
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Nobody really dies of fear; they die of Chuck Norris.
The moon doesn't really orbit the Earth. Chuck Norris is spinning it around his head and waiting for the right moment to release it.
Chuck Norris looks Medusa in the eye when he wants to make his skin softer than steel.
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Chuck Norris aimed a sniper rifle at an enemy 750 yards away, he killed the enemy, then he fired the rifle.
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Revenge is a dish best served by Chuck Norris.
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chuck norris is so strong he won an arm wrestling match against the hulk
when chuck norris gets shot at the bullet doesn't leave the barrel and the gun explodes not hurting chuck norris at all
chuck norris is the only person to be able to beat some one up so bad that their great grandchildren will enharet the broken bones
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Hurricanes are what happen when Chuck Norris yawns.
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You slept with a teddy bear. Chuck Norris sleeps with a live grizzly bear.
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Chuck Norris does not catch diseases, diseases catch Chuck Norris
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Ok here we go....
Chuck Norris does not jump. He forces gravity to pick him up. :)
Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity.... Chuck Norris got it back
Chuck Norris has counted to Infinity... Twice
Chuck Norris does not churn butter... Instead he roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
Yes i did read these from a Chuck Norris list of facts poster ;)
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Chuck Norris does not talk, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks words straight into peoples brains
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Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his bedroom.. The bear is not dead, It is just too scared to move
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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number, you picked up the wrong phone!
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Chuck Norris can scale Mt. Everist in 3 sec. flat.
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When you say nobody is perfect chuck Norris takes that as a personal offense.
Chuck Norris threw a banana peel out the window so if could decompose, and a bird slipped on it in mid air.
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Chuck Norris likes his meat so rare he only eats unicorns.
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chuck norris is the leader of the world, all of the "world leaders" ask him what to do when something goes wrong.
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Night occurs when Chuck Norris switches the Sun off.
Chuck Norris can catch lightning in a jar.
Chuck Norris rides shotgun on Santa's Christmas sleigh rides.
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Chuck Norris uses a stunt double for crying scenes
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The capitol of (insert country, province, or state) is Chuck Norris.
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"Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird." "Originally, God had eight days to create the Earth; Chuck Norris gave him seven" <- Sorry if that offends somebody, I thought it was funny :3
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Tidal waves result from Chuck Norris giving the ocean a roundhouse kick.
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Chuck norris can reenact every flight scene from top gun in a kayake!
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Every time chuck norris roundhouse kicks someone, a galaxy is born.
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Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane in WWII by aiming his finger at it and saying "Bang"
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Chuck Norris..... was killed by Bruce Lee
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Chuck Norris is a washed up old has-been who needs to be on Wow commercials for money.
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Chuck Norris is a washed up old has-been who needs to be on Wow commercials for money.
*exaggerated gasp*
Please O Chuck Norris...Psycho did not mean that!
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...Yes I did (:
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Chuck Norris doesn't swim. Water just likes to be around him.
Chuck Norris doesn't walk, the ground moves for him.
Chuck Norris cures cancer with his tears.
Chuck Norris invented rap when his heart started beating.
Chuck Norris doesn't battle he just allows you to lose.
Chuck Norris spread more blood and gore than forty scores of Abe's civil wars.
Chuck Norris split the union with a roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris' fists make the speed of light wish it was faster.
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Chuck Norris can crack walnuts with his eyelids.
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Chuck Norris can transcend time and space with a wink and a nod.
Forget about plate tectonics: Chuck Norris is the reason Pangea split into Laurasia and Gondwana.
:D
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Chuck Norris can gargle with peanut butter.
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Acobra onces bit Chuck Norris on the leg, after 5 days of excruciating pain the cobra died...
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chuck norris once tried to join the military, the UN drew up a contract and he had to quit
it is called the Geneva convention
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Each year about this time, the Easter Bunny leaves Chuck Norris a basket filled with chocolate bullets and grenades.
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(http://www.wordans.ca/wvc-1326232163/worldansfiles/product_previews/2012/1/10/3974/3974_650.jpg)
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(http://www.wordans.ca/wvc-1326232163/worldansfiles/product_previews/2012/1/10/3974/3974_650.jpg)
Your image isn't showing?
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white isn't a color because chuck norris killed the fourth color, the other three had to fill the fourth colors job
jesus turns water into wine, chuck norris turns water into vodka
the flying spaghetti monster was made when chuck norris cooked
chuck norris was bored with chicken, shellfish, pork and beef, so he found a pig and glared at it, causing it to grow a new muscle, we call this bacon
the meteor in russia only exploded because it remembered chuck norris lives on this planet
the bermuda triangle loses people, in reality, chuck norris just does not want them near his house
when jesus dies, he has to wait three days to respawn, when chuck norris dies well...it is a dream
chuck norris tried to join a buddhist temple, but they said it was already too hard to reach nirvana, they didn't want to raise the bar
chuck norris does not need an army, his imaginary friends can kill you
(made these myself)
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Of course unfortunately the only business venture that ever failed for Chuck was his line of toilet paper. Yes it would cover your butt but it wouldn't take crap off anyone!
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Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage...
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Chuck Norris was supposed to die 15 years ago but Death is to afraid to tell him.
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Chuck Norris does push-ups with his eyeballs.
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(actual facts) Chuck Norris was in the military, Air Force. Chuck Norris was born the day before the Nazis surrendered.
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So... The Nazis surrendered simply because they heard Chuck Norris was born? Lol
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So... The Nazis surrendered simply because they heard Chuck Norris was born? Lol
I guess so.
The North Koreans were going to attack us but they heard that Chuck Norris had been deployed.
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Chuck Norris likes his meat so rare he only eats unicorns
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Chuck Norris audited the IRS.
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Chuck Norris was once asked how many push-ups he could do.
His response: all of them
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Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas when he goes to bed at night.
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The drummer from Def Leppard once gave Chuck Norris a high five. He won't make that mistake again.
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(to my knowledge, these are all my own, as i made them up on the spot)
Chuck Norris knows what happened to Elvis
When Chuck Norris runs a red light, he gets a check in the mail
How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Norris? (an awful lot)
Chuck Norris beat a wall in a staring contest
Chuck Norris can shuffle a deck of cards without touching them
Chuck Norris can finish race before it begins
At one point, Chuck Norris played baseball. he broke the bat, stole every base, and the ball right flew out of the park. he never even picked up the bat.
Chuck Norris chose to have Andrew Ryan as his slave.
Chuck Norris and Mr. T once had an arm wrestle. the earth split in half,leaving one on each side. they have yet to find a table that will support their combined strength.
Handsome jack wears his mask because of his encounter with Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris hit a grand slam while bowling
Chuck Norris has Chewbaca as his pet
If Chuck Norris licks a frozen pole, his tongue does not get stuck; the pole melts
Chuck Norris does not win lotteries; they give themselves up willingly
Chuck Norris can win in a game of chess on the first turn
One day at school, Little Johny heard his friends talking about what who would win in a fight between Chuck Norris, Bruce lee, and Mr T. Johny said that they were a bunch of old men, and he could take them all on by himself. on the way home, Johny got lost in the alleyways, and found himself in a T-shaped intersection. he turned to his left, and saw Chuck Norris walking towards him, looking most displeased. he turned to his right, and there was Bruce lee. he turned behind him, and yep, there was Mr T. the three of them suddenly took off into a run, yelling at Johny and holding out their fists. Johny did not exist. ever. he was never born, nobody was ever knew him. he was not "taken out of existence" he just never existed in the first place.
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Chuck Norris once punched a horse. It's offspring are forever known as giraffes.
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Chuck Norris is so fast he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
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Chuck Norris plays Battleship with real ships.
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When you google Chuck Norris nothing shows up, because google knows that you don't find Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris finds you.
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The Mayans said that the world would end at 2012. the Mayans did not factor Chuck Norris into the equation
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Chuck Norris is so stealthy HE hunts the Predator.
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Time stops for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris likes his meat so rare he only eats Unicorns.
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When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's showing how many seconds you have left to live.
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The only difference between Chuck Norris and God is that Chuck Norris does not believe he is God...
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Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked a clock so he could see time fly.
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chuck noris doesn't mow his lawn, he stares at the grass and dares it to grow. :D
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Chuck Norris is so fast he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris is so stupid he runs around the world to punch himself in the back of his head. (Srry, one of my friends came up with this...)
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Donald Trump fired Chuck Noris. Apparently Chuck Noris wasn't good enough to be Chuck Noris.
The universe was created when Chuck Noris and Mr T fist bumped.
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Yo' Mama so fat, Chuck Norris thought she was The Octogon.
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It was Chuck Norris that actually destroyed the Berlin Wall...
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Chuck Norris is unaffected by continental drift.
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When Chuck Norris punched a bag of charcoal, it turned into a bag of diamonds.
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Nobody can understand the workings of Spoonman's mind. Many believe that Chuck Norris is an exception. While this may be false, he DID roundhouse kick Spoonman into another dimension, much to that dimension's displeasure.
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Chuck Norris is monitoring the NSA.
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Chuck Norris doesn't catch Pokemon. The Pokemon surrender to him.
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Chuck Norris invented the cheeseburger by throwing a cow at a barbed wire fence.
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There are two from The Expendables 2 that I really like: Barney: "Rumor has it you were dead." Chuck Norris: "Yeah, I heard that too. So how's life treating you?" Then this one: Barney: "I heard another rumor that you were bitten by a King Cobra?" Chuck Norris: "Yeah, I was. But after five days of agonizing pain, the cobra died." *The Expendables got nervous*
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Chuck Norris tried to swim in lava once. He nearly drowned.
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God said 'Let there be light!' Chuck Norris replied 'Say please.'
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Chuck Norris is tough because he eats marble cake, rock candy, and brick ice cream.
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Chuck Norris uses live Civil War cannonballs as Ben-Wah Balls.
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When Chuck Norris falls into the ocean, he doesn't get wet--the ocean gets "Chuck Norrissed".
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Earthquakes are made from Chuck Norris jumping.
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Chuck Norris likes his eggs hard-boiled.
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While serving in the Air Force, Chuck Norris started the engines of a B-57 by breathing into the air intakes instead of employing the cartridge start method.
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For Daylight Savings Time, rather than reset his clocks, Chuck Norris just gives the Earth a slight roundhouse kick in the proper direction.
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Chuck Norris doesn't cry or say Sorry in his movies. He lets a stunt double do it instead.
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When Chuck Norris punches someone out, he breaks every bone in their body with one hit, and same for everyone in their immediate family. :D
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Chuck Norris doesn't fear Death, but Death has a healthy respect for Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris is so awesome that Ray Charles even said so...in Braille.
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Chuck Norris can deflect a hurricane just by looking at it.
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When Chuck Norris works on cars, he uses no tools because he has vice like grip. And for rusted bolts, he just scares them off.
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The Great Red Spot of planet Jupiter is the result of a Chuck Norris punch.
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The only who can resist assimilation by the Borg is Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris had his own cartoon show.
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Chuck Norris can modify the path of an asteroid by just thinking about it.
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Chuck Norris punched someone so hard that the bad guy's great grandchildren said "ouch!"
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He IS Chuck Norris...enough said!!
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Chuck Norris invented ground beef when he tricked a bull into charging a stump grinder.
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Chuck Norris invented the smoothie by looking at a basket of fruit.
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Chuck Norris can heat a pot of coffee just by staring at it.
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Chuck Norris was exposed to COVID-19, but the virus quarantined itself.
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Chuck Norris doesn't listen to heavy metal, he eats it for breakfast.
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Chuck Norris doesn't reset his watch for Daylight Savings Time, the world resets to Chuck Norris Time.
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The threads in bullet proof vests are spun from Chuck Norris chest hair.
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Chuck Norris can crack cinder blocks with his pinky fingers.
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A construction crew needed an additional jack hammer, and for 2 hours, used Chuck Norris with an erection to bust a concrete wall.
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Chuck Norris requires neither food nor drink. He stands downwind of a restaurant and draws nourishment from the fumes.
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His birthday was today.
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Chuck Norris freed that freighter stuck in the Suez Canal with a roundhouse kick.
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If you put a sea shell to your ear, you can hear the ocean. But if you put a spent .45 shell to your ear, you'll hear Chuck Norris giving someone a roundhouse kick.
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When Chuck Norris makes a joke about Jada, Will Smith slaps himself.