Author Topic: In Soviet Russia, "___" jokes  (Read 6484 times)

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Offline Wildhead_the_fox

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In Soviet Russia, "___" jokes
« on: February 09, 2015, 04:27:50 pm »
So, the rules are simple! Post an "in Soviet Russia" joke(s) in the thread below!


*in Russian accent* Have fun!
Normal people look at things that are and ask, "Why?"
True innovators look at things that aren't and ask, "Why not?"

Offline Amducious

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Re: In Soviet Russia, "___" jokes
« Reply #1 on: February 09, 2015, 05:39:15 pm »
In Soviet Russia we include a mini ballistic knife in every Russian happy meal
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Offline Wildhead_the_fox

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Re: In Soviet Russia, "___" jokes
« Reply #2 on: February 09, 2015, 06:15:37 pm »
In soviet Russia, you don't swim in water, water swim in you!
Normal people look at things that are and ask, "Why?"
True innovators look at things that aren't and ask, "Why not?"

Offline Turgius

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Re: In Soviet Russia, "___" jokes
« Reply #3 on: February 09, 2015, 08:02:12 pm »
In Soviet Russia, you don't drive tanks, tanks drive over you!
« Last Edit: February 09, 2015, 08:04:30 pm by Turgius »
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Offline Kobuk

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Re: In Soviet Russia, "___" jokes
« Reply #4 on: February 09, 2015, 08:20:20 pm »
In Soviet Russia, you don't listen to radio, radio listens to you!

(And it's quite true actually. The KGB had listening devices everywhere. They could spy and eavesdrop on anybody and you wouldn't even know it.  8) )

Offline Firelight

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Re: In Soviet Russia, "___" jokes
« Reply #5 on: February 09, 2015, 08:56:49 pm »
In Soviet Russia dog own you XD

Offline Amducious

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Re: In Soviet Russia, "___" jokes
« Reply #6 on: February 09, 2015, 09:02:13 pm »
In Soviet Russia we include mini AK-47 in every Russian happy meal. Putin action figure sold separately.
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Offline Wildhead_the_fox

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Re: In Soviet Russia, "___" jokes
« Reply #7 on: February 10, 2015, 04:41:27 pm »
In soviet Russia, Chuck Norris still finds you!
Normal people look at things that are and ask, "Why?"
True innovators look at things that aren't and ask, "Why not?"

Offline Turgius

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Re: In Soviet Russia, "___" jokes
« Reply #8 on: February 10, 2015, 08:35:47 pm »
In Soviet Russia, blocks arrange You!
“Oh I've plenty of time, my time is entirely my own.”
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Offline Rocket T. Coyote

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Re: In Soviet Russia, "___" jokes
« Reply #9 on: February 13, 2015, 11:26:23 pm »
In Soviet Russia, you don't find party--Party finds you!
"The coyote is a living, breathing allegory of Want. He is always hungry. He is always poor, out of luck, and friendless. The meanest creatures despise him. And even the fleas would dessert him for a velocipide."~Mark Twain
(Baps the old humorist.)

Offline Turgius

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Re: In Soviet Russia, "___" jokes
« Reply #10 on: February 14, 2015, 08:08:44 am »
In Soviet Russia you don't make choice, choice made for you!
“Oh I've plenty of time, my time is entirely my own.”
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Идиот

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Offline Wildhead_the_fox

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Re: In Soviet Russia, "___" jokes
« Reply #11 on: February 14, 2015, 12:45:28 pm »
In Soviet Russia you don't make choice, choice made for you!

(Actually, that's quite true, because of the communist government!)

In soviet Russia, you don't eat ice cream, ice cream eat you.
Normal people look at things that are and ask, "Why?"
True innovators look at things that aren't and ask, "Why not?"

Offline Amducious

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Re: In Soviet Russia, "___" jokes
« Reply #12 on: February 14, 2015, 01:00:11 pm »
in soviet russia i don't always drink beer but when i do it's Ukraine's
« Last Edit: February 14, 2015, 01:06:47 pm by Amducious »
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Offline HazardJackal

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Re: In Soviet Russia, "___" jokes
« Reply #13 on: February 15, 2015, 03:41:34 pm »
In Soviet Russia... it's cold...

Offline Turgius

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Re: In Soviet Russia, "___" jokes
« Reply #14 on: February 16, 2015, 10:34:22 am »
In Soviet Russia, Putin not on Ritz, Ritz is on Putin!  (:
“Oh I've plenty of time, my time is entirely my own.”
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Идиот

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Offline HazardJackal

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Re: In Soviet Russia, "___" jokes
« Reply #15 on: March 02, 2015, 07:41:47 pm »
In Soviet Russia, there are no horses; only bears.

Offline Tommy Fox Stone

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Re: In Soviet Russia, "___" jokes
« Reply #16 on: April 02, 2015, 04:08:34 pm »
In Soviet Russia, Vodka drinks you!...
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Offline Aloneness

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Re: In Soviet Russia, "___" jokes
« Reply #17 on: April 02, 2015, 06:16:30 pm »
In soviet Russia capitalist America jokes make you...
« Last Edit: April 02, 2015, 06:18:31 pm by Aloneness »
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Offline Rocket T. Coyote

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Re: In Soviet Russia, "___" jokes
« Reply #18 on: April 04, 2015, 10:51:05 am »
In Soviet Russia, holiday is for attending military parade on holiday.
"The coyote is a living, breathing allegory of Want. He is always hungry. He is always poor, out of luck, and friendless. The meanest creatures despise him. And even the fleas would dessert him for a velocipide."~Mark Twain
(Baps the old humorist.)

Offline Old Rabbit

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Re: In Soviet Russia, "___" jokes
« Reply #19 on: April 05, 2015, 12:25:22 pm »
In Soviet Russia they waited in lines two blocks long for Toilet paper. 
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Offline Tommy Fox Stone

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Re: In Soviet Russia, "___" jokes
« Reply #20 on: April 08, 2015, 10:35:58 am »
In Soviet Russia McDonalds eat's you!...
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Offline Rocket T. Coyote

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Re: In Soviet Russia, "___" jokes
« Reply #21 on: May 09, 2015, 10:35:15 pm »
In Soviet Russia, shredded wheat breakfast also perfect for scrubbing pots & pans.
"The coyote is a living, breathing allegory of Want. He is always hungry. He is always poor, out of luck, and friendless. The meanest creatures despise him. And even the fleas would dessert him for a velocipide."~Mark Twain
(Baps the old humorist.)

Offline Rocket T. Coyote

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Re: In Soviet Russia, "___" jokes
« Reply #22 on: December 07, 2015, 10:13:11 pm »
In Soviet Russia, television watches you.
"The coyote is a living, breathing allegory of Want. He is always hungry. He is always poor, out of luck, and friendless. The meanest creatures despise him. And even the fleas would dessert him for a velocipide."~Mark Twain
(Baps the old humorist.)

Offline viper213

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Re: In Soviet Russia, "___" jokes
« Reply #23 on: December 09, 2015, 10:37:17 am »
In russia terms of service violate you

(Sorry not that good apologise in advan e in future posts)
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Offline Old Rabbit

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Re: In Soviet Russia, "___" jokes
« Reply #24 on: December 09, 2015, 11:39:59 am »
In Soviet Russia we make all shoes for left foot.

(There was a factory in Russia that did turn out all left shoes
due to some error or by design. Who knows.)




« Last Edit: December 09, 2015, 11:41:33 am by Old Rabbit »
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