Author Topic: Chuck Norris Facts  (Read 22195 times)

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Offline FarFar

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #150 on: October 30, 2019, 08:07:34 am »
Chuck Norris can modify the path of an asteroid by just thinking about it.
I took the red pill...

Offline Rocket T. Coyote

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #151 on: November 14, 2019, 05:37:30 pm »
Chuck Norris punched someone so hard that the bad guy's great grandchildren said "ouch!"
"The coyote is a living, breathing allegory of Want. He is always hungry. He is always poor, out of luck, and friendless. The meanest creatures despise him. And even the fleas would dessert him for a velocipide."~Mark Twain
(Baps the old humorist.)

Offline FarFar

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #152 on: November 29, 2019, 08:31:51 am »
He IS Chuck Norris...enough said!!
I took the red pill...

Offline Rocket T. Coyote

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #153 on: December 08, 2019, 05:08:08 pm »
Chuck Norris invented ground beef when he tricked a bull into charging a stump grinder.
"The coyote is a living, breathing allegory of Want. He is always hungry. He is always poor, out of luck, and friendless. The meanest creatures despise him. And even the fleas would dessert him for a velocipide."~Mark Twain
(Baps the old humorist.)

Offline FarFar

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #154 on: December 24, 2019, 09:11:20 am »
Chuck Norris invented the smoothie by looking at a basket of fruit.
I took the red pill...

Offline Rocket T. Coyote

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #155 on: December 29, 2019, 06:12:41 pm »
Chuck Norris can heat a pot of coffee just by staring at it.
"The coyote is a living, breathing allegory of Want. He is always hungry. He is always poor, out of luck, and friendless. The meanest creatures despise him. And even the fleas would dessert him for a velocipide."~Mark Twain
(Baps the old humorist.)

Offline Rocket T. Coyote

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #156 on: April 07, 2020, 06:36:59 pm »
Chuck Norris was exposed to COVID-19, but the virus quarantined itself.
"The coyote is a living, breathing allegory of Want. He is always hungry. He is always poor, out of luck, and friendless. The meanest creatures despise him. And even the fleas would dessert him for a velocipide."~Mark Twain
(Baps the old humorist.)

Offline Rocket T. Coyote

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #157 on: June 28, 2020, 03:22:41 pm »
Chuck Norris doesn't listen to heavy metal, he eats it for breakfast.
"The coyote is a living, breathing allegory of Want. He is always hungry. He is always poor, out of luck, and friendless. The meanest creatures despise him. And even the fleas would dessert him for a velocipide."~Mark Twain
(Baps the old humorist.)

Offline Rocket T. Coyote

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #158 on: September 12, 2020, 12:25:47 am »
Chuck Norris doesn't reset his watch for Daylight Savings Time, the world resets to Chuck Norris Time.
"The coyote is a living, breathing allegory of Want. He is always hungry. He is always poor, out of luck, and friendless. The meanest creatures despise him. And even the fleas would dessert him for a velocipide."~Mark Twain
(Baps the old humorist.)

Offline Jade Sinapu

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #159 on: September 19, 2020, 04:00:21 am »
 The threads in bullet proof vests are spun from Chuck Norris chest hair.
Bear your soul and take control
If the wolves are howling outside your door
Invite them in and make them beg for more!
(Name that tune!)

Offline Rocket T. Coyote

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #160 on: September 26, 2020, 10:05:53 pm »
Chuck Norris can crack cinder blocks with his pinky fingers.
"The coyote is a living, breathing allegory of Want. He is always hungry. He is always poor, out of luck, and friendless. The meanest creatures despise him. And even the fleas would dessert him for a velocipide."~Mark Twain
(Baps the old humorist.)

Offline Jade Sinapu

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #161 on: October 07, 2020, 12:32:14 am »
A construction crew needed an additional jack hammer,  and for 2 hours,  used Chuck Norris with an erection to bust a concrete wall.
Bear your soul and take control
If the wolves are howling outside your door
Invite them in and make them beg for more!
(Name that tune!)

Offline Rocket T. Coyote

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #162 on: October 10, 2020, 10:16:34 am »
Chuck Norris requires neither food nor drink. He stands downwind of a restaurant and draws nourishment from the fumes.
"The coyote is a living, breathing allegory of Want. He is always hungry. He is always poor, out of luck, and friendless. The meanest creatures despise him. And even the fleas would dessert him for a velocipide."~Mark Twain
(Baps the old humorist.)

Offline Rocket T. Coyote

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #163 on: March 10, 2021, 10:43:02 pm »
His birthday was today.
"The coyote is a living, breathing allegory of Want. He is always hungry. He is always poor, out of luck, and friendless. The meanest creatures despise him. And even the fleas would dessert him for a velocipide."~Mark Twain
(Baps the old humorist.)

Offline Rocket T. Coyote

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #164 on: April 03, 2021, 11:52:49 pm »
Chuck Norris freed that freighter stuck in the Suez Canal with a roundhouse kick.
"The coyote is a living, breathing allegory of Want. He is always hungry. He is always poor, out of luck, and friendless. The meanest creatures despise him. And even the fleas would dessert him for a velocipide."~Mark Twain
(Baps the old humorist.)

Offline Rocket T. Coyote

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #165 on: December 19, 2021, 10:31:03 pm »
If you put a sea shell to your ear, you can hear the ocean. But if you put a spent .45 shell to your ear, you'll hear Chuck Norris giving someone a roundhouse kick.
"The coyote is a living, breathing allegory of Want. He is always hungry. He is always poor, out of luck, and friendless. The meanest creatures despise him. And even the fleas would dessert him for a velocipide."~Mark Twain
(Baps the old humorist.)

Offline Rocket T. Coyote

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #166 on: April 01, 2022, 07:45:32 pm »
When Chuck Norris makes a joke about Jada, Will Smith slaps himself.
"The coyote is a living, breathing allegory of Want. He is always hungry. He is always poor, out of luck, and friendless. The meanest creatures despise him. And even the fleas would dessert him for a velocipide."~Mark Twain
(Baps the old humorist.)