Author Topic: california crisis.... plz leave oppinion  (Read 1234 times)

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Offline WOLFWOOF

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california crisis.... plz leave oppinion
« on: April 30, 2012, 12:15:14 am »
A wolf that lived in kansas stayed there his whole life never left finaly his parents get enough money to send only him.... he meets another wolf... of the oppisite sex... and falls in love with her... she agrees to basicly be his tour guide to all the best spots in her mid on the coast of california.... when theyvr in the middle of one of the trips a bomb explodes off in the distance but they still feel the heat from it.... now they hear that there will be another explosion so they wonder the coast watching as the people panic and trying to suvive the chaos
« Last Edit: May 05, 2012, 01:33:06 am by WOLFWOOF »

Offline Jet

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Re: trip in cali.... plz leave oppinion
« Reply #1 on: April 30, 2012, 12:30:14 am »
I assume, being in Furry Fiction, this is meant to be a basis for a story or novel of some form... It is good, but underdeveloped as far as we have here. You have a great start, but from what I have read, theres not much to it. Just some explosions and a love story that leads no where. You may know where it goes and why the explosions are going off, but I dont based on your summary. Is this an air raid, a terrorist attack, full terra meltdown, I dont understand it yet. It sounds like a good idea, but can you provide a little more information for others to make their opinions on, please. It would help some. :)
"Miniscule conflicts are insignificant in relation to the paradox of life itself." - Me, Josh Karels


PLUR

Offline WOLFWOOF

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Re: trip in cali.... plz leave oppinion
« Reply #2 on: April 30, 2012, 01:07:54 am »
It is just a summory but good poin on the bombs..... basicly something else I lift out of the summory.... that should be there.... is that in the main charectures dream he sees a man who wants answers from him and it becomes a life or death thing in his dreams but somehow the man in his dream somehow get a bomb out there.... but that part of how he does yhat will be jn the novel.... if I can get it long enough

Offline Mylo

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Re: trip in cali.... plz leave oppinion
« Reply #3 on: April 30, 2012, 01:18:45 am »
Actually, I kind of like that I don't know where the bombs are coming from...it puts you in the character's shoes and adds a bit of suspense for the reader.  The only thing I'd like to know is why the characters are wolves, rather, why not humans?  What do wolves add to the story?  Thanks for sharing :)

Offline WOLFWOOF

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Re: trip in cali.... plz leave oppinion
« Reply #4 on: April 30, 2012, 01:22:58 am »
Furries.... furry wolves lol

Offline Jet

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Re: trip in cali.... plz leave oppinion
« Reply #5 on: April 30, 2012, 02:20:22 am »
I totally agree with Mylo. In the novel its good you dont know what is going on, so you see it as if you were the characters. What I was getting at is that this is a summary of you novel to get any ideas from us about whether its good or where it needs work. Or at least thats how it came off to me. Sadly, I dont know anything about the novel off this summary. It seems a good start, but without a more in depth description of the plot, I cant tell you where the plot falls flat or where you have it right. Also, I like the idea of wolves, but it really only makes sense to me if they are anthros. I assume they are because they have formed a sort of society, and humans cant really picture animals forming a human-like society without them being part human in some way. So wolf Anthros I can see. As for feral wolves, I cant picture it that well, sorry...
"Miniscule conflicts are insignificant in relation to the paradox of life itself." - Me, Josh Karels


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Offline WOLFWOOF

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Re: trip in cali.... plz leave oppinion
« Reply #6 on: April 30, 2012, 03:01:49 am »
Yah I assumed people would guess anthro.... this is actualy my first real furry story.... my other storu I'm still writing is an exparement but this is the out come of trying furry.... besides if I was to make it... umm ferul or wat ever I don't even know the word lol