Author Topic: The Gift of a Stranger  (Read 9900 times)

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Offline JonaWolf

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The Gift of a Stranger
« on: November 18, 2003, 11:17:44 pm »
Finally managed to post some new reading material.  '<img'>

The untitled story that lurked on my page for the better part of a year has been re-written, given the title of The Gift of a Stranger, and generally expanded upon.

I like how this story is going so far, but what do you think of it?
I let my mind wander once, but it never came back...

Offline beyond the darkness

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« Reply #1 on: November 19, 2003, 06:44:15 am »
It's really quite good, I like it '<img'>
I was only able to skim through it but it is really good!
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Offline Henrik

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« Reply #2 on: November 22, 2003, 08:47:45 pm »
the new story is really superb Jona, but a bit of background would be great, as why has the Humans vanished, or how the other race got to power? and dont overwork yourself with writing TOO many stories, okay? '<img'>

greets

Offline cougar2k2

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« Reply #3 on: November 27, 2003, 11:40:50 am »
hey hey

Guess who's finally back...

Anyway I was overjoyed to see that a new chatper to the previously unnamed story, now "The Gift of a Stranger," was posted.  Not only was there a new chapter posted but a revised version of the first.... man what a way to come home.  Needless to say I read it immediatly and, no surprise to me, it was awsome.  Really great piece of fiction that you have started (both of them...lol).  Alright enough babbling from on this post... keep up the excellent writing and drive on man.

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One by one the yard gnomes are stealing my sanity...

Offline JonaWolf

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The Gift of a Stranger
« Reply #4 on: December 01, 2003, 09:21:09 pm »
I'm glad you guys like the new story so far. Hopefully I'll be able to write new chapters at a somewhat faster rate than I am for Wild Rose Country...

Quote (Henrik @ Nov. 22 2003, 6:47 pm)
the new story is really superb Jona, but a bit of background would be great, as why has the Humans vanished, or how the other race got to power? and dont overwork yourself with writing TOO many stories, okay?


Some background on this world will be forthcoming in the next couple of chapters, and no, I'm not gonna burn myself out trying to write three different stories at once. At least I hope I won't... '<img'>

Thanks for the comments guys!
I let my mind wander once, but it never came back...

Offline Henrik

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« Reply #5 on: December 06, 2003, 05:12:29 pm »
Well I' ll just sit tight and wait for new chapters of no less then THREE different and almost outworldly good stories!
Heheh..
(Happy, Happy, Joy,Joy) '<img'>  '<img'>  '<img'>

Offline Adamina

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« Reply #6 on: December 06, 2003, 06:52:07 pm »
hehe, very nice, i cant wait to read more...
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Offline JonaWolf

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The Gift of a Stranger
« Reply #7 on: December 12, 2003, 10:16:03 pm »
Quote (Henrik @ Dec. 06 2003, 3:12 pm)
Well I' ll just sit tight and wait for new chapters of no less then THREE different and almost outworldly good stories!
Heheh..
(Happy, Happy, Joy,Joy) '<img'>  '<img'>  '<img'>

You shouldn't have to wait too long Henrik. I finsihed Chapter 7 of WRC for anthrofiction.com a couple of days ago. I'm gonna send it in this weekend after I do a final revision. Hopefully Steve won't take his time in posting it...


Quote (Adamina @ Dec. 06 2003, 4:52 pm)
hehe, very nice, i cant wait to read more...

I'm glad you like the story so far Adamina. If you get bored while waiting for the next chapter of The Gift, there are nine chapters of a story titled Wild Rose Country on my site that might distract you for a couple of hours at least... '<img'>
I let my mind wander once, but it never came back...

Offline JonaWolf

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The Gift of a Stranger
« Reply #8 on: May 01, 2004, 12:15:53 pm »
Okay, after the usual six month delay, I have finally posted Chapter 3 of The Gift of a Stranger '<img'>

Please let me know what you think of this one. I struggled a bit with this chapter because it has more dialogue than I usually write, and I'm hoping that it reads okay.
I let my mind wander once, but it never came back...

Offline cougar2k2

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« Reply #9 on: May 02, 2004, 12:30:27 am »
Hey hey

Great addition to the "The Gift of a Stranger" story.

Overall the conversations in the chapter were excellent, but in one or two places there were a few responses/questions that characters said that, I think, didn't read right.  I don't know how to say this, hmmm... the one or two passages I had in mind seemed to use to many words. (i.e.- using three or four words when one or two would do.) Does that make any sense to you?

My other big thing is that it took so long for the chapter to come out...  '<img'>  but I know by reading your personal log you don't exactly have a whole lot of time on your hands so I guess we, the readers, will just have to be patient and wait.  

O and also I read in your P.L. that you edited this yourself.  I don't know if you remember but I helped edit some of the chapter for WRC and if you need any help don't hesitate to e-mail me.  Last thing, I promise... Thank you for the chapter
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Offline Henrik

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« Reply #10 on: May 07, 2004, 05:09:21 pm »
what could i say? SUPERB! you are improving in your writing techniques (SP?) a great new chapter to read!

And i´ve not seen snow for about a half-month now, i guess it all went to Canada  '<img'>

Offline JonaWolf

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« Reply #11 on: May 18, 2004, 11:41:37 pm »
Thanks for the responses guys. Sorry to take so long to post a reply, but I haven't been online very much at all recently.

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hmmm... the one or two passages I had in mind seemed to use to many words. (i.e.- using three or four words when one or two would do.) Does that make any sense to you?


Hmmmm... That was probably an attempt on my part to have certain characters have subtly different patterns of speech. I'll have to go back and do some re-reading and see.

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My other big thing is that it took so long for the chapter to come out...


Yeah, I know. '<img'> At least I'm consistent in that respect '<img'>

Quote
O and also I read in your P.L. that you edited this yourself.  I don't know if you remember but I helped edit some of the chapter for WRC and if you need any help don't hesitate to e-mail me.


Yeah, I remember that. I'll likely end up sending you the next chapter when it's done. Thanks for the offer of help.

Quote
what could i say? SUPERB! you are improving in your writing techniques (SP?) a great new chapter to read!


Glad you liked it. It's nice to know that my readers think my writing is getting better.  '<img'>

Quote
And i´ve not seen snow for about a half-month now, i guess it all went to Canada  


I think it did. Would you believe there is a chance of snow here again this weekend?  ':shock:' Oh well, such are the risks of living in a northern climate.   ':p'
I let my mind wander once, but it never came back...

Offline ScottyDM

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The Gift of a Stranger
« Reply #12 on: July 29, 2004, 03:01:12 am »
My impression of Gift Of A Stranger is that it is smoother and tighter than Wild Rose Country. I remember seeing two tiny bugs in the first chapter (I think one was plural form on a word where singular might have been better). Minor stuff.

Although Gift is better written than Wild Rose, I've come to care about Jon and Sharra. Perhaps if I had 11 chapters of Gift, those characters would grow on me as well.

I'm in the process of rewriting my story, to the point of reinventing several characters. Starting with dialog only, then adding in character actions, and finally descriptions. I hope I have the "brass clackers" to get through it.

Scotty




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Offline JonaWolf

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The Gift of a Stranger
« Reply #13 on: August 02, 2004, 12:16:47 pm »
Quote ("ScottyDM July 29 2004 @ 1:01 am")
My impression of Gift Of A Stranger is that it is smoother and tighter than Wild Rose Country.


That is the feeling that I get as well. I suspect that it reads that way because I've learned a great deal over the last few years and also that I have started to take my writing far more seriously than I ever have before.

Quote ("ScottyDM July 29 2004 @ 1:01 am")
I remember seeing two tiny bugs in the first chapter (I think one was plural form on a word where singular might have been better). Minor stuff.


The first chapter of 'The GIft' was written in December of '02. It sat around for a long time (pretty close to a year) before I decided to continue with writing that story. Of all the chapters in 'The GIft', it is the weakest by far and needs a re-write to better match the writing style of the next two chapters. I've got half of the re-write done already '<img'>

Quote ("ScottyDM July 29 2004 @ 1:01 am")
Perhaps if I had 11 chapters of Gift, those characters would grow on me as well.


All in good time. '<img'> 'The Gift' should span at least twenty chapters by my current outline.

Quote ("ScottyDM July 29 2004 @ 1:01 am")
I'm in the process of rewriting my story, to the point of reinventing several characters. Starting with dialog only, then adding in character actions, and finally descriptions. I hope I have the "brass clackers" to get through it.


Writing can be hard work at times. Best of luck with your story!
I let my mind wander once, but it never came back...

Offline JonaWolf

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The Gift of a Stranger
« Reply #14 on: September 26, 2004, 06:10:09 pm »
Chapter 1 has been re-written and vastly improved upon(I hope! )
I let my mind wander once, but it never came back...

Offline cougar2k2

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« Reply #15 on: September 29, 2004, 11:14:05 pm »
Wow been a long time since I've posted anything here.

First off you are right, it is vastly improved from what was written before.  You are more clear in a lot of the areas that were a little to vague in the first version.  Although you hint at how this human came to be where he is and how he got into the city, I am still a little confused on why he is in this world?  Are humans native to this land and are just really rare or was he brought there for some, as yet, unknown reason?

There where some spelling errors and words that got reversed(I know how that goes) but other then that I didn't really see any other errors that jumped out at me.

Great redo and I hope to see the next chapter soon even though from what I've heard you have your hands full with RL ':p'  don't you hate it when that happens?
One by one the yard gnomes are stealing my sanity...

Offline Henrik

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« Reply #16 on: October 01, 2004, 05:28:22 pm »
nice work with the rewrites! 3 thumbs up!

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somethin' happen?

Offline JonaWolf

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« Reply #17 on: October 02, 2004, 08:52:38 pm »
Quote
don't you hate it when that happens?


Damn rights I do. However, I'm beginning to realize that such distractions are an inevitable part of the life that I choose to lead. Might as well go with the flow...  '<img'>

Quote
somethin' happen?


Just the usual 'work until my brain melts and leaks out of my ears' routine. Nothing really all that new there...

Thanks for the feedback guys   '<img'>
I let my mind wander once, but it never came back...

Offline Henrik

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« Reply #18 on: October 03, 2004, 11:52:30 am »
whew, i got scared there fer a moment that you wouldt let me have my WRC shoots anymore  '<img'>

and its easier to tell the stories apart this way.

(Dang it! i just succeded to post in the wrong forum, twice even! '<img'>  ':blush:' )





Offline JonaWolf

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« Reply #19 on: February 26, 2005, 10:58:32 am »
Chapter 4 has finally been posted. I've also combined all of the existing chapters of The Gift of a Stranger into one big file. You can find it here. Ideas change and evovle and I've found that it's easier for me to keep track of any little changes I need to make to keep the storyline consistent this way. However if enough people want it, I can put the individual chapters back up.

Thoughts or comments on the new chapter and the new format?
I let my mind wander once, but it never came back...

Offline Varg the wanderer

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« Reply #20 on: March 01, 2005, 06:49:35 pm »
Chapter is good.  The way you had it fomatted befor allowed a person to pick up where they left off easier. The way you have it formatted now it can be quite a challenging scroll-a-thon to find where you were. Just a thought....
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Offline cougar2k2

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« Reply #21 on: March 05, 2005, 03:42:44 am »
LIVE FROM THE DESERTS OF IRAQ

Long time no talk... now that I am all settled down here I have finally had a chance to get to the MWR (morale, welfare, and recreation center) here on base and get on the net.  Great to see that your still cranking out the chapters.

Great chapter!  The story is moving along at a nice even pace.  I like the new format your using although it makes finding the beginning of the new chapter harder, if I may suggest maybe a format like Adobe Acrobat?  Same style you changed it to but if you know how to use it, it can be easier then just having the chapters seperate.

Anywho, great to read something and forget where I am.  I will check in on your sight a few weeks from now, later.
One by one the yard gnomes are stealing my sanity...

Offline JonaWolf

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« Reply #22 on: March 08, 2005, 10:31:35 pm »
I've added a link to the beginning of each chapter at the top of the page. Hopefully that'll make it a bit easier to figure out where the last chapter ended and the new one begins. Thanks Varg and cougar2k2 for letting me know how the new format was working out.

Quote
LIVE FROM THE DESERTS OF IRAQ

Long time no talk... now that I am all settled down here I have finally had a chance to get to the MWR (morale, welfare, and recreation center) here on base and get on the net.  Great to see that your still cranking out the chapters.


Hey cougar2k2!! Great to see you found your way back here after getting sent off to the middle of the desert. I'm glad to hear that the new chapter gave you even a short distraction from what's going on around you. '<img'> Take care and keep your head down out there...
I let my mind wander once, but it never came back...

Offline ScottyDM

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« Reply #23 on: May 05, 2005, 05:39:43 am »
Quote (JonaWolf @ Feb. 26 2005, 8:58 am)
Thoughts or comments on the new chapter and the new format?


Jona:

When writing it is often useful to have everything in one file. You can search for things, such as if you discover you've been consistantly misspelling a character's name. Also if you make sweeping changes they are easier to incorporate with one file.

However, I belive it is a serious mistake to create massive HTML pages on the 'Net. As a story it can be very intimidating for the new reader. When someone pops onto a site and they are looking for something to read, seeing a page of text take forever to download or a teeny-tiny scrollbar slider can really turn off the new visitor. Web sites are not books. You experience them quite differently. Imagine if Zig Zag the Story were all on one page--how many new people would even start reading it?

As for posting PDF files I've come to the following conclusions: #1. PDF is gread in book format--that is, all one big file with page numbers, headers, table of contents, and all. #2. Wait until the story is done--why make people download the same file over and over while you add a chapter to the end each rev, and maybe update other things as needed. #3. If there is any possibility you might seek professional publishing, distributing a PDF file could kill that possibility--that is you'll scare off the mainstream publishers.

Anyway, my two cents.

Scotty
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Offline JonaWolf

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« Reply #24 on: June 05, 2005, 08:49:43 pm »
Quote
However, I belive it is a serious mistake to create massive HTML pages on the 'Net. As a story it can be very intimidating for the new reader. When someone pops onto a site and they are looking for something to read, seeing a page of text take forever to download or a teeny-tiny scrollbar slider can really turn off the new visitor. Web sites are not books. You experience them quite differently.


Very good points Scotty. As I mentioned in the WRC thread, it was an experiment gone bad. I plan to change back to individual chapters when I get a chance.

Quote
As for posting PDF files I've come to the following conclusions: #1. PDF is gread in book format--that is, all one big file with page numbers, headers, table of contents, and all. #2. Wait until the story is done--why make people download the same file over and over while you add a chapter to the end each rev, and maybe update other things as needed. #3. If there is any possibility you might seek professional publishing, distributing a PDF file could kill that possibility--that is you'll scare off the mainstream publishers


I'm going to stay away from PDF files for two reasons. One: I don't particularly like that format and two, I don't have the time to set up multiple PDF's.

Proffesional publishing is a very remote possibilty at best. I sincerely doubt that anything I've written to date contains the right subject matter or is of sufficient  quality to submit for publishing.

Your comments, as always, are appreciated Scotty...
I let my mind wander once, but it never came back...