Author Topic: Chuck Norris Facts  (Read 11160 times)

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Offline Gauthar

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #75 on: June 08, 2012, 06:24:33 pm »
Chuck Norris uses a stunt double for crying scenes

Offline Rocket T. Coyote

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #76 on: June 12, 2012, 04:34:52 pm »
The capitol of (insert country, province, or state) is Chuck Norris.
"The coyote is a living, breathing allegory of Want. He is always hungry. He is always poor, out of luck, and friendless. The meanest creatures despise him. And even the fleas would dessert him for a velocipide."~Mark Twain
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Offline DarkDemon

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #77 on: June 12, 2012, 06:22:52 pm »
"Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird." "Originally, God had eight days to create the Earth; Chuck Norris gave him seven" <- Sorry if that offends somebody, I thought it was funny :3
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Offline Rocket T. Coyote

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #78 on: June 14, 2012, 10:34:20 pm »
Tidal waves result from Chuck Norris giving the ocean a roundhouse kick.
"The coyote is a living, breathing allegory of Want. He is always hungry. He is always poor, out of luck, and friendless. The meanest creatures despise him. And even the fleas would dessert him for a velocipide."~Mark Twain
(Baps the old humorist.)

Offline Onion

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #79 on: June 15, 2012, 12:04:11 am »
Chuck norris can reenact every flight scene from top gun in a kayake!

Offline The Wise one

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #80 on: June 15, 2012, 12:34:59 am »
Every time chuck norris roundhouse kicks someone, a galaxy is born.
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Offline Akita

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #81 on: June 18, 2012, 05:27:47 pm »
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane in WWII by aiming his finger at it and saying "Bang"
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Offline JakeWolf

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #82 on: June 25, 2012, 01:37:25 am »
Chuck Norris..... was killed by Bruce Lee

Offline Psycho

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #83 on: July 02, 2012, 05:21:25 pm »
Chuck Norris is a washed up old has-been who needs to be on Wow commercials for money.

Offline Mylo

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #84 on: July 02, 2012, 05:44:12 pm »
Chuck Norris is a washed up old has-been who needs to be on Wow commercials for money.

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Please O Chuck Norris...Psycho did not mean that!

Offline Psycho

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #85 on: July 02, 2012, 05:58:27 pm »
...Yes I did  (:

Offline Kek

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #86 on: August 16, 2012, 09:05:59 pm »
Chuck Norris doesn't swim. Water just likes to be around him.
Chuck Norris doesn't walk, the ground moves for him.
Chuck Norris cures cancer with his tears.
Chuck Norris invented rap when his heart started beating.
Chuck Norris doesn't battle he just allows you to lose.
Chuck Norris spread more blood and gore than forty scores of Abe's civil wars.
Chuck Norris split the union with a roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris' fists make the speed of light wish it was faster.
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Offline Rocket T. Coyote

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #87 on: August 25, 2012, 01:02:38 pm »
Chuck Norris can crack walnuts with his eyelids.
"The coyote is a living, breathing allegory of Want. He is always hungry. He is always poor, out of luck, and friendless. The meanest creatures despise him. And even the fleas would dessert him for a velocipide."~Mark Twain
(Baps the old humorist.)

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #88 on: September 19, 2012, 12:25:19 am »
Chuck Norris can transcend time and space with a wink and a nod.

Forget about plate tectonics: Chuck Norris is the reason Pangea split into Laurasia and Gondwana.

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Offline Rocket T. Coyote

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #89 on: December 30, 2012, 10:07:01 pm »
Chuck Norris can gargle with peanut butter.
"The coyote is a living, breathing allegory of Want. He is always hungry. He is always poor, out of luck, and friendless. The meanest creatures despise him. And even the fleas would dessert him for a velocipide."~Mark Twain
(Baps the old humorist.)

Offline Tommy Fox Stone

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #90 on: March 28, 2013, 09:34:43 pm »
Acobra onces bit Chuck Norris on the leg, after 5 days of excruciating pain the cobra died...
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Offline Jacoby Quinn

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #91 on: March 29, 2013, 12:56:46 am »
chuck norris once tried to join the military, the UN drew up a contract and he had to quit

it is called the Geneva convention 
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Offline Rocket T. Coyote

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #92 on: March 30, 2013, 06:01:20 pm »
Each year about this time, the Easter Bunny leaves Chuck Norris a basket filled with chocolate bullets and grenades.
"The coyote is a living, breathing allegory of Want. He is always hungry. He is always poor, out of luck, and friendless. The meanest creatures despise him. And even the fleas would dessert him for a velocipide."~Mark Twain
(Baps the old humorist.)

Offline Tommy Fox Stone

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #93 on: April 11, 2013, 10:36:05 pm »
Captain T F Stone
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Another winters day Another grey reminder of what used too be that has gone away Its really hard too say how long we have too live with our insanity we have too pay for all we use and we never think before we light the fuse...

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Offline Kobuk

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #94 on: April 11, 2013, 10:40:39 pm »
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Offline Jacoby Quinn

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #95 on: April 12, 2013, 03:34:00 am »
white isn't a color because chuck norris killed the fourth color, the other three had to fill the fourth colors job

jesus turns water into wine, chuck norris turns water into vodka

the flying spaghetti monster was made when chuck norris cooked

chuck norris was bored with chicken, shellfish, pork and beef, so he found a pig and glared at it, causing it to grow a new muscle, we call this bacon

the meteor in russia only exploded because it remembered chuck norris lives on this planet

the bermuda triangle loses people, in reality, chuck norris just does not want them near his house

when jesus dies, he has to wait three days to respawn, when chuck norris dies well...it is a dream

chuck norris tried to join a buddhist temple, but they said it was already too hard to reach nirvana, they didn't want to raise the bar

chuck norris does not need an army, his imaginary friends can kill you

(made these myself)
how many neon pink and black rabbits does it take to screw up a lightbulb factory?

Offline Rushjunkie2112

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #96 on: April 12, 2013, 03:23:26 pm »
Of course unfortunately the only business venture that ever failed for Chuck was his line of toilet paper.  Yes it would cover your butt but it wouldn't take crap off anyone!
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Offline Tommy Fox Stone

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #97 on: April 26, 2013, 11:44:45 pm »
Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage...
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Offline flatout442

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #98 on: April 28, 2013, 06:54:24 am »
Chuck Norris was supposed to die 15 years ago but Death is to afraid to tell him.
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Offline Rocket T. Coyote

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Re: Chuck Norris Facts
« Reply #99 on: April 28, 2013, 11:02:07 pm »
Chuck Norris does push-ups with his eyeballs.
"The coyote is a living, breathing allegory of Want. He is always hungry. He is always poor, out of luck, and friendless. The meanest creatures despise him. And even the fleas would dessert him for a velocipide."~Mark Twain
(Baps the old humorist.)